Playing with Fire
by pagetbabe
Summary: Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you, but trusting them not to... because you will destroy them first.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi people ! This story was on my mind since long time ago. It will show my point of view of when Emily was undercover as Lauren Reynolds. But this is a Demily story. If you don't ship Ian and Emily/Lauren, be a little patient because from chapter 12, it will start a great Demily romance story. I hope you like it.**

**I own nothing**

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"Are you sure you want to do this?"

She tried to hide her insecurities and doubts by breaking eye contact.

"It's the job, isn't it?"

"Uh… yes… but you do not have to do it… I mean, you have already accepted but you can still give up…"

"Give up? Me?" She smiled sarcastically which was her most polite answer for the moment.

It was already late night and she was still reading the files about Ian Doyle's life and everything about the plan to trap him.

She was very comfortable laying on the couch, drinking whiskey. She knew that this would not be an easy task at all but she was willing to do it.

Three AM, still on the couch and totally wrapped in her new life, she was starring at his photo. She would be Lauren, the woman that would fight for his heart, a dangerous international terrorist.

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At work:

"For me? I can't remember you ever being so gentle. Thank you."

"Oh, Emily, don't be unfair. I always bring you coffee."

"Yeah… but not with this sweet smile and this needy puppy face…"

Clyde Easter wasn't an emotional person but it could be said that he had a heart.

"He stammered but confessed, "I…I am worried about you…"

She smiled at him.

"The guy is a terrorist! He is a really dangerous person… I think you should just tell Sean that you changed your mind…"

"You think I'm not smart enough to do this?"

"I'm not saying this… It is just that... if he only suspect... you're dead."

"You won't let this happen, right?" She teased.

"Emily… I am serious, I know how competent you're at your job and how much of a badass you are… but the guy will not hesitate if he had to kill you."

She approached very close to his face. She opened two buttons of her blouse making him instantly look at her cleavage.

"You think?"

He was stunned.

"Wow… this is so… Not you..."

Buttoning her blouse again, "This is not 'me'. This is Lauren."

"Bloody hell… Poor man."

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She was at the bar, smoking, drinking (but not enough to lose her senses).

"…Lauren Reynolds… This is the guy I told you about…"

"…He told me everything but a name…" She said as she reached her hand to him.

"Ian Doyle… Pleasure…" He said while staring at her beauty

"I love being the man... bringing people together. Have fun, kids."

"Jack told me you were provisional IRA…"

"Used to be…Then the peace accord happened… Now I gotta look for work like everybody else."

"Except… Ian. That's a protestant name, isn't it? Not a lot of protestants in the IRA …Or is that how you proved you were a good fighter ? Defending your mother for giving you that name?"

"And what is it you do, Lauren ?"

"Right now I'm trying to get into business with a former IRA Captain. He's gone freelance, you might have heard of him…Valhalla."

"Yeah…I might know him."

"Well… Since this is sensitive, est ce qu'on peut parler en privé ?" _*It might be better to discuss this privately.*_

"Tu es pleine de surprises dit donc." _*You're just full of surprises, aren't you?*_

"Si tu savais." _*You have no idea*_ She smiled devilishly at him.

"Let's get out of here…"

From this moment, she knew that there was no way back: she was Lauren Reynolds.

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**Thanks for reading and a comment is always welcome.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing**

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Entering his SUV (always the second), she felt chills with Liam's suspicious look at her.

They was in the backseat, not too close, "So, why are you looking for Valhalla?"

She didn't expected this question too soon. She bit her lips. She looked at Liam (who was driving and returned the look by the rearview mirror. She had to think quick and gain time. She muttered, using her charming, "I thought that we'd discuss this in private…" She did the tongue thing she does, teasing him.

Ian Doyle was a very smart man who had plenty of women in his life, always using them to please him. But right here, right now, near that woman, he felt something he had never felt before.

The chemistry between them was undeniably. But for now, he'd keep his feelings to himself.

She had never been in love before, her former relationships were always superficial, and when she felt things could get deep, she just jump out of.

But could fate be so cruel ? Making her fall in love with the only person in the world she couldn't?

The car stopped in front of five star hotel, in Boston.

Before stepping into the bedroom, she looked at him. She was a little aprehensive.

The place was beautiful. They entered the place and he quickly brought champagne for them both.

"Thank you…" She said.

Staring at her, he offered a toast.

She smiled. They walked to the balcony to see the view.

"… it's… beautiful." She said.

After a few minutes of silence he said, "You're lucky."

She looked at him.

He continued, "I don't usually bring people here. Especially someone that I don't know anything about." He said staring at the view.

"I know nothing about you as well…" "…and I'm here." She replied, speaking softly, also looking at the view.

"You must know something about me... You were waiting for me at that bar."

"Jack told me about you and that we could perhaps have business together... I didn't even know your name..."

She had both of her elbows on the huge parapet of concrete, looking at the view. She could feel his body standing right behind her. She could feel the heat of his body and his breath.

She felt chills. A mix of fear and desire. He took the glass from her hand, and whispered into her ear, "I think the night is too perfect to talk about business."

She knew there was no way back now. She turned to look at him.

**Thanksfor reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I OWN NOTHING**

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Practically caught between the railing of the balcony and his arms, the eye contact between them was very close as ever. Her lips were trembling slightly as she was staring into the eyes without any fear of revealing the deepest secrets of your soul.

He was strong in every way: seductive, gentle but rough at the same time. He had an incredibly sexy accent, a mysterious look, manly body.

And it was obvious that all that initial uncertainty whether she would or would not be able to do something like that of practically 'sell herself, in the most untamed way of speaking, for a profile, now it had become a difficult desire to control.

They were not two teenagers, thirsty if living the life intensely as if it would end at any time. She was an independent, strong and courageous grown woman, on top of her thirty-two years, while he, in a couple of years would be fifty.

He took his eyes from her eyes and looked at her mouth, which was slightly open. He put the glass with the champagne on the railing of the balcony, without break the eyes contact at any time as he could feel her breathing getting intense so to speak.

With his calloused hands, he gently held her face as if to touch for his own such beauty for a moment, and within seconds he was touching her lips with his own, while their bodies were quickly finding and filling all the space between them, in a hug that tight but without suffocation, and the kiss was becoming deeper, while she was hugging him with both arms over his shoulder and his hands were touching her waist inside her blouse that he had pulled a little from inside her pants only to touch her skin.

In the arms of that man, she felt that she was totally immensely desired as she just could not remember of being during her entire life. Emily Prentiss, her real ID, was a gorgeous woman, no doubt of it, but she was an introspective, reserved person that had used always to keep a certain distance of everything that involved love, feelings, relationship, putting herself in a safe and secure place for herself, so safe that it used to scare men that used to approach her. Lauren Reynolds was exactly like that, she knew deep down it was only a different name, both women were the same, exactly the same, but Ian Doyle was a different man of all the others. He was determined and sure of himself enough to try to unravel this woman, in the purest sense of the word.

The desire between them was now inevitable. She wanted to be loved, without barriers, by whole. Like a storm in the desert, he wanted to flood her madness and desire, soaking her body with passion letting the feelings lose the reason. She wanted to be pampered. She wanted to feel loved, to feel protected in his arms.

Still kissing each other, their bodies were making their path to the huge suite, to the even huger king size bed.

She was trying hard to ignore the tiny distant voice in her mind that was trying to alert her to be careful, not careful because he was a too fucking dangerous man, not to the fact that she was involved in a such dangerous operation, not to the fact that she was there alone totally unprotected for herself, against him, but to the fact that the love was right there, ready to fill her entire heart, in a way it never had done before.

Once they were inside the suite, near the bed, he finally broke the kiss, and took a few steps forward, enough to make her feel a little apprehensive. He used his lighter to light some aromatic candles that were part of the decoration of the bedroom, turning off the ceiling lights right after, always under her watchful eyes. Then, but not less surprising, he took two or three roses from the vase, who were also part of the decoration, he approached her, and he gently passed the button of the roses on her face, and she did mention to smell them. That was when he grabbed her by the neck gently with one hand since the other still had the roses, and whispered in her ear:

"…Your skin is infinitely more soft and smelling than these roses here…Can't wait to prove the rest..."

She felt a shiver hearing this, she including opened a little her mouth as she thought he would kiss her again, but he was also full of surprises. He only smiled at her and walked to the bed. Still looking at her all the time, he took off the button of one the roses and then he spread the petals on the bed and he did this with the two other roses. Looking at this scene, if she had not deeply studied his past life, she would doubt that he really was that dangerous man that she knew that he was.

He smiled at her. She smiled back. He approached her again and hugged her a little stronger now, instantly putting his both hands on her butt while he kissed her deeply again. Yeah. He knew how to deal with a woman just the way they like to be treated.

Still kissing, they walked to the bed but before they could fell on it, he broke the kiss to take off her blouse over her shoulders. She was not prepared for the sex in this first date with him. She knew that somehow, someday, during the operation, she would have to do this, but that was a plan carefully elaborated for Lauren Reynolds. Now, she was only Emily and she wanted to do this like in an urge to be loved. So, she did not care for the nothing sexy bra that she was wearing. Apparently neither did him, since the only thing he could look was the flesh of her perfect boobs in the bra, then, the second thing that instantly stole his attention was a tattoo right below her boobs taking all her left side. He took her left arm lifting it to read what was written on the tattoo: '_That which does not kill me makes me stronger_'.

He twisted his mouth, and said:

"Powerful…"

It had an implicit question in this simple word. So she said:

"…with our job…" She shrugged.

He put her in a hug and said on her ear, while holding her head:

"I'll protect you…"

Somehow this melted her heart. She broke the hug to look at him and say:

"Please… don't make me fall in love with you…"

After a moment of silence to digest what she had said, he said slowly:

"Some things are not a choice…"

And like a magnet their mouths were connected again and now they closed their eyes and just let their bodies being guided by the strong desire that they were feeling for each other.

And as a rapturous love that boosts, that sustains and nourishes the craziness that is the life. With this sweeping love, this love that installs itself without asking permission, this love that destroys, this love that builds, this love that burns and gets to a point that we can no longer settle for anything less than this sweeping love; they surrendered to love, a burning love, ripping the heart for each other. The sex itself was the least important there. She knew that it was a big risk, because nothing else in her life would be like before after that.

She closed her eyes by feeling his stubble rubbing against her super soft skin of her boobs while he was sucking her nipples like a starving newborn.

Without stopping sucking her nipples, his right hand reached the button of her pants and slowly unbuttoned and unzipped it, opening space for his hand to explore what it had inside. As he realized that she was more than ready for the sex, he smiled for himself.

He then just sat over her body, with one leg to each side of her, but not with fully weight of his body, to take off his shirt and open his own pants. It was when he started to take her pants as well and he could see the other tattoo of her. It was on her groin: a drawing of a cat and its footprints as if the cat was coming out from inside her panties, a super cute drawing.

Ian looked at her and smiled. She smiled back. Then, he pretended that he was talking to the cat. He said:

"I bet you had lots of fun inside, right? Now... it's my turn..."

She smiled hearing this. He then got rid of her panties and started by kissing her entire body. Emily, Lauren or whoever she was could not remember any man doing this kind of stuff with her body providing such pleasure for her that was making her whole body squirm and get weak, not even the experiences she has with women in the college, nothing could be compared to this. She only literally opened herself to him and enjoyed the moment.

The next thing that she could remember was when she let escape a high moan of pleasure after being biting his shoulder and scratching hard his backs while he was thrusting hard into her. As a gentleman he waited for her to come and right after her it was his time to empty his content into her or into the condom so to speak.

He fell to her side and got rid of the condom. Then, he turned to lie down in front of her, on the bed, pulling a sheet to cover both bodies. He clasped his hands with hers, and he kissed her hand, then the forehead, then the lips. He said:

"We can talk about business tomorrow…"

"It's the last thing that I want to talk about now…" She said.

He put her in a hug and finally they fell asleep, and like everything was conspiring in favor, the lights of the candles were going out one by one.

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After about two hours or something that they were sleeping, they were woken by her cell phone ringing as crazy. She froze as she knew that it could be someone from Interpol, most likely Clyde as he was the one that was obsessed because she was doing this undercover operation. It was an empty of data cell phone, of course, a fake one and a new number, but everyone at Interpol had this new number.

She mentally prayed for when she opened her eyes, Ian was still asleep, but he was staring at her. He said:

"Are you not going to answer?"

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**Guys, thank you for reading and for the comments and please let me know if I need a BETA, because my English is not good and if I need a BETA I will start to look for one, or if someone is available, please PM me, okay, thank you!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I own nothing**

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In the middle of the night, peacefully sleeping in his strong arms and hairy chest, Emily was awake by the insistent ringing of her cell phone. She mentally prayed that she would open her eyes and Ian would be still asleep, but he was staring straight at her. He said:

"Are you not going to answer?"

As a fucking profiler that she was, as she was studying his curious expression, she cut the eye contact, strengthening the hug and saying:

"I don't know about you… but in this kind of business that we do…we have no organized schedule… I mean… people think they can call you at anytime…"

She said that and she was mentally praying for whoever it was on the phone that this person would give up insisting. And it worked.

Ian then started to caress on the arm since she was totally snuggled in his arms. They were only enjoying the heat of each other bodies and thinking about what had happened few time ago. No one of them wanted to open up to the other about how much the passion had been so uncontrollable and fulminant, especially Emily who had to be careful about each word that she would say to him. But Emily Prentiss was a woman capable of destabilizing even the most controllable and meticulous and patient man, like him. He said:

"We've met for less than 24 hours and it feels like forever…"

"Yeah… it was fast…" She said.

"I usually control my male instincts but…You are so beautiful and hot… that it was just impossible for me…"

Hearing that from him, it was like a slap in the face for a woman like her, as if only his wishes would prevail. She moved in the bed to look at him and said:

"Well… with our life style… we don't know if we're going to be alive tomorrow… we have to live for the moment…"

He smiled and said:

"You're right…"

His hand reached her nape under her hair and pulled her using a little more force now, bringing her for a deep kiss. They were still totally naked and it did not take any second more for them to be fucking like crazies again.

Emily could not believe that she was truly doing it and that it would be so easy for her. She knew that this would have a price in the future but for now she only wanted to enjoy.

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Next morning, she was stretching in bed while Ian was going to answer the door to get the huge breakfast, with everything they were entitled. He was in his black bath robe and she was still totally naked under the sheets. Ian gave a hefty tip for the bellboy and closed the door. He then approached Emily that was still sitting on the bed and she had pulled the sheet to cover her boobs. He sat on the bed and said:

"Good morning…"

"Morning…"

As she could not be even more surprised by his attitudes, he approached her and he kissed her on the mouth. But that was not only a simple kiss, it was the most intimate gesture that they could have, even they had made love for two times during the night. It was deep and long and wet kiss, where they shared the most deep and precious moment of intimacy as possible, much more than through the sex. It was as if a strong bond between them was starting there, it was as if a connection between them was being consolidated, showing how much they both wanted a relationship, arousing the desire to go beyond, and the willingness to be together. She never expected this to happen. Not that she had no confidence in herself, but she knew very well how men's minds use to work: after getting sex with his 'prey', if it is the only thing that he wants, there is no need for any extra effort, but by that kiss, she knew that she would have him in the palm of her hands, if she already did not.

He finally broke the kiss not before ending it with a last light bite on her lip as if not wanting to let this kiss to end. Then he said:

"The breakfast is ready…"

"You're perfect… do you have a special radar to guess all my needs? I'm starving!"

He smiled and said:

"No… but I hear very well and I was awakened this morning by the sound of your stomach growling from hunger…"

"Noooo!" She exclaimed, disbelieving, smiling always.

"Yeah… That's truth…" He said, smiling back.

Then, he looked at her again with a little more intense stare at her now, and said:

"But I did want to have some kind of special power to be able to guess all your wishes…"

Hearing this, she could not sustain the eye contact as this broke her heart a little. She said:

"Well… I better get out of this bed now… and take a quick shower so I can kill what is killing me…"

She kissed him on the lips and went to the bathroom.

Once there, she closed the door and she could barely look at her image in the huge mirror, so ashamed of herself she was. It was an internal struggle, a mental war with herself, a true battle as she knew that he was a criminal that had to be put away, but this other side of him had totally gained her, her heart so to speak. Tears sprang from her eyes when she saw the thought of what was coming ahead. She did not want to even think.

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**During the breakfast:**

"So… what do you want to know about Valhalla?" He asked.

"There is not too much that I can tell… but… it's about business, of course…I want to see if we can do some business together… I am sure I have some things… new things in this commerce… that I am sure he will be interested…"

"I'll see what I can do…" He said, without looking at her as he had things to hide as well.

She was studying his facial expressions.

"Find me a safe connection that I can use and then we talk about it…" She said.

"I can intermediate the negotiation until you get to know him…"

Still studying him, she slightly nodded, and said

"Sure…"

"You know his main business is in Europe, right?" He asked, looking at her now.

"Mmm… I don't know too much about him… I mean… Jack was telling something about him and he said that you could help me…"

"I certainly can…"

"Good…"

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She was ready to go and they were in a tight hug now. He was saying:

"I have a busy day today here in Boston… lots of meetings before going back to Europe… but I'll ask one of my men to drive you…"

"No…no, thanks… I can get a cab as I have a very busy day today as well…lots of places to go…"

He caressed her on the cheek and said:

"I know nothing about you… but I want to get to know you…"

She smiled but she was too apprehensive now afraid of him to notice something as she knew that stupid was something that he definitely was not.

"I always had problems in trusting people…. With this job we do… we cannot trust anyone as you know… but I hope we have other opportunities for us to know each other better…"

"I am looking forward to it…"

They gave a last kiss and before she left, he still said:

"Are you sure you don't want a ride…"

"Yes… thank you… there are a lot of cabs available in this Hotel… it is not necessary…"

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Once she was in the Hotel where she was staying, she sat on the bed and she was only thinking about the last happenings, she had total mix feelings all together now: love, confusion, fear, lost, doubt, and she was so afraid too because falling in love with him was not in her plans, at all, this was the last thing she wanted or needed. Suddenly, when she was doing this retrospect of the last night, her cell phone started to ring again. She answered:

"Hello?"

"What the fuck is going on, Emily? I called you all night!"

Her blood boiled in the same second that she heard this. She said:

"I'M SORRY, I THINK YOU CALLED THE WRONG NUMBER… MY NAME IS NOT EMILY!" She hung up the phone on his face.

Of course that he tried again, but he was trying to be calmer now. She answered by saying:

"What do you want, Clyde?"

"I wanted to check on you and find out how the first date with him went…"

"Clyde… I am another person now… please… the deal… the rule is that I will get in touch with you all when I have enough against him… and you calling me like that can put me in a terrible dangerous situation… can't you see this?"

"Please, Emily… just give up this craziness… it was not right of Sean doing this and using you like that…"

"What is done is done, Clyde… I will not step back… I know you are worried about me but I cannot give up, anymore… I know how to take care of myself, I know how far I can go… and please… don't call me anymore…just follow the rules…" She bit her lips by saying this.

*Moments of silence on the phone*

He took a deep breath and said:

"Okay, Emily… I promise my life that I will protect you from him… but I will do this by far… I won't call you…"

"Thank you, Clyde… bye, bye…"

She threw the phone on the bed. Not that she did not know about the secret passion that Clyde felt for her, but he had never been honest enough to admit it to her, so, in the millisecond where she thought that he could be the one for her, it just vanished like paper in the wind, for her, Clyde just did not worth not even a first thought. But she was glad to know that she could count on him as a great partner of work. Remembering his words, she just wished he could protect her heart the way he said he would protect her with his life.

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**Two days later:**

She had not heard about Ian during these two days, it was when late night, her cell phone beeped with a message, saying: "Meet me at my Hotel, in one hour…"

She felt a heat all over her body but she did not want to stop to figure if it was fear, anxiety, or some fucking thing related to something usually called 'feelings', and that she had always worked hard to keep herself far away from. She quickly got up from the bed and went for a shower and dressed up in jeans and a blouse and a jacket and her boots, and in the exactly appointed time by him, she was there at the door of the posh suite he was staying.

As she had been announced by the reception of the Hotel, he opened the door for her even before the elevator hit the floor. He left the door a little opened and walked back to the bedroom to prepare drinks for them, a little stronger this time: whiskey.

The elevator door opened and she could see that the door was ajar. Her heart was pounding fast as ever but she had no time or will to try to figure out what the fuck was this that she was feeling. She slowly stepped into the bedroom and she saw him. He took the glass with the whiskey inside and approached her as she was still in the hall, but inside the bedroom.

He passed over her to lock the door. He drank all the strong liquid of the glass at once, and placed the glass on the small buffet behind her taking the advantage that he was so close to grab her, kissing her as if he could 'eat' her with the same voracity and desire like he had just made with the whiskey.

Without saying a word, he grabbed her by the waist and kissed her, biting her mouth, neck, chin, jaw, tongue, everywhere, and the taste of the alcohol coming from his mouth was the drop that was missing to drive her completely insane. She dropped her purse on the floor and they were ripping clothes of each other while they were making their path to no specific place but to where their crazy desire would lead them.

The suite was really huge and the bed was too far away considering the their urgency they were feeling to have each other. It was when he grabbed her in his arms, lifting her by her butt and put her sitting on the backs of the sofa. She was on her jeans and boots still and only the bra on the top that he quickly ripped off her and plunged his rough beard on her soft boobs, sucking them hard and making her see stars as she could not remember the last time where she felt like that: so desired by someone.

While he was sucking greedily her nipples hard, he was holding her backs with his callous hands for her not to fall on the sofa. But she wanted more, she needed more and she needed it now. So, while he was doing it, she was trying to open up his pants, and she was doing it very carefully as his jeans were now too tight for such a volume it had inside.

She unbuttoned and unzipped it. She stuck her hand inside his underwear, as if touching another part of herself, as if that part belonged to her, as if it was a part that was lost in the world to complete her.

Realizing that she was in such urgency and totally involved by the heat of the moment, he did not want to lose more time, he took her from the sofa to be only able to put her standing in front of him and he kissed her deeply while caressing her boobs and her hands were also very busy inside his pants. He turned her body as she had her backs to him now.

Getting rid of jeans while wearing boots was a difficult task and he had no time for this now. With the experience of millennia of practice, in a second he only lowered her pants to her knees, to where the limit of her boots allowed, but he did not need more than that.

He curved her body on the sofa to facilitate the access, while he stuck two fingers in her folds to check if she was ready for him, he took the condom from his own pocket and dressed it in a second. Then he grabbed her by the hips and thrust inside her at once making her scream in pleasure while she was grabbing the fabric of the sofa. He was holding her by the hips, and sometimes by her hair, and thrusting hard and deep and fast as it was exactly what both of them needed now: to feel each other so badly.

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He was now only looking at her totally naked now on bed, after a hot and wild lovemaking. She smiled at him as if she was a little ashamed but it was all part of her charm. She was a grown woman totally sure of what she wanted and what she was doing, she had no reason for be ashamed of anything. He smiled at her while he was smoking a cigarette. She smiled back at him.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you for these past two days… I got busy…"

"I totally understand…"

"Good… well… I found a connection that you can use to Valhalla…"

As if she had fallen from heaven to hell, as if she had woken up from the best dreams, she quickly changed her facial expressions being so abruptly brought to the reality like that.

"_Fuck_!" She thought.

But she was there for a mission. She was Emily Prentiss, an Interpol agent that was on an important mission to save the world, and it did not matter if she had to rip her heart in pieces for that, in the process. The world would thank her and she would have to put a stone heart in the place of her own heart. She sat on the bed and covered her nudity with the sheets and said:

"…Oh… really? That is… great…" But she showed no excitement.

"Yeah… but… you'll have to come with me to Ireland… are you working alone on this?"

"I'm the only negotiator… in our business…"

"Okay… we can discuss the details during the trip… Are you coming? I might travel tomorrow…."

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**Thank you for reading and I am sorry for the English errors.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I own nothing**

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"I have some stuff still to do here in America… I… I'm going to meet you there… is this possible?"

He thought for a while and said:

"Yeah… this is possible…"

Although much had happened between them, things that were extremely intimate, they were still maintaining a certain mystery in the air, as if they would not reveal what was really behind their personality, especially Emily, who had a lot to hide and to lose if he only suspected about something, she could risk her own life, for example.

"Well… I am traveling tomorrow… I'll get in touch with you…" He said.

"Okay… but… can't you give me a phone number… an address… or something?" She said.

He only stared at her for while as if he was analyzing her.

"I thought you knew how this business works…" He said.

It was more like a question so she had to think fast about an answer. She got up to hug him and said:

"Is that… mm… alright… I am not good with feelings and relationships and beautiful romantic words... but… But I'll have to say this…I am going to miss you… and just in case you don't call me… I wish I had a connection with you besides Jack…"

He hugged her back, and whispered on her ear:

"I usually don't lie… I'll look for you in this address like I said before…"

They fell into a deep kiss and they would not see or listen from each other in two weeks or so.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

Walking in circles around the Hotel bedroom where she was staying in Boston, Emily was apprehensive and she did not even knew what to think first. She had a huge plan to put into practice and so far things had worked pretty perfect as she was following the schedule and everything. Even that it was not part of the plan at all to fall in love with him, but this issue belonged to her only, to deal when she had time, because for now, she had to do what Interpol wanted her to do and for them it was working all perfect so far.

She was apprehensive now because she would have to leave her comfort zone, her country and everything and put herself all alone into his world, Ireland. But she was Emily Prentiss, she could not fear anything, she was brave and fearless and she would give her life for make the world a better place to live. She would do this mission no matter what.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**Two weeks later – IRELAND:**

It had been two days already that she was in the Hotel, in Ireland, waiting for a contact from him. It was now almost midnight and she was sitting in the bed only thinking that she would have to wait one day more. And thinking about everything that she would have to do there, about every single detail of the big plan, but the only thing that she could think about was his kisses and their moments together and how she was missing him.

Her heart raced as she heard the intercom ringing from the reception of the Hotel.

"Hello?"

"Ms. Reynolds… there is a man waiting for you here at the reception…"

"Oh… okay…"

Emily would ask the person to go there but actually her gut feeling was not sure if it was Ian that was there so she decided that it was safer for her if she would go to the reception.

And she was right. Liam was there is his best evil face waiting for her. She froze for a second and in an impetus she including stopped walking for a millisecond, approaching him in the sequence.

Without looking at him, she said:

"I thought that it was Ian…"

"I only follow orders and you follow me…"

She entered the back of the second SUV, and she was being taken to somewhere she had no idea. It was impossible for her to not be nervous. She was human, and it was simply impossible for her to live in such a situation and not feel like the insecurity was knocking at 'her door' every new minute of every new event. LIke: if he had found out about her? What he would do to her? Sessions of torture, or he would kill her at once? These thoughts were always crossing her mind, although she was doing her best to act natural and to don't demonstrate any feeling. She was Emily Prentiss, after all. She had zillions of mental boxes to save things and keep her mind and heart empty, right? Not too much, because she was human.

During the long ride, she decided to stay in silence, so did Liam.

Finally, after about half an hour and very far from the town, he parked the SUV in front of a bar, it seemed a private place. All the men of the first SUV entered the bar and Liam opened the door for her to get out of the car. She did and he waited her enter the bar, she entered and he locked the door. She was in the edge of panic now, but always trying her very best to not show anything.

It was a big empty corridor and a lot of closed doors and everything was quiet, all the men walked towards to a big salon at the end of the hall, and only Liam was behind her as if he was escorting her. For one second, she felt as if she was cattle going to slaughter.

It was when they finally got into the salon where they were some busty and semi naked women and a lot of men, drinking, smoking and playing cards, mostly like a private casino. She saw Ian by far but he took some while to notice that she was there. But he first wanted to end the round of the game so he asked Liam to ask her to approach him. This only for itself was enough to make her blood boil, as if: would she have to beg for attention of a man. She wanted to die in anger now. But she kept calm and controlled as she was there in a mission, right?

In her mental battle, with her stomach churning with hate that she did not even know why; she approached him, but he did not bother to look at her since he was too involved with the card game. He only said:

"Sit…"

And this made her stomach churn even more, but she obeyed him.

For the next fifteen minutes that she was there, she was only observing everything: semi naked women offering themselves to men, and sometimes kissing each other, everything washed down with high doses of alcohol and cigarette smoke. She knew that there was not too much of what she needed to know in there.

So far, Ian had practically ignored her presence there as he was too focused on the card game and this was bothering her too much more than she wanted. She could take this huge opportunity to only be observing how Doyle's world worked and put everything in the profile, not that she was not doing this and taking mental notes, but her anger was making her to defocus from what she was really doing there.

"Focus, Emily… damn 'fucking' feelings…" She was thinking.

Her limit of patience was when one of the busty blond approached Ian with some cards between her huge boobs offering the cards (and herself) to him as he took the cards from her boobs and smiled at the blond woman. Emily could not believe she was there being part of that.

She opened her mouth wide. She just got up and walked fast to out of there, walking fast through the corridors as she had no idea where was the exit door anymore, so nervous that she was now. Ian quickly went after her.

The place had a huge hall and a lot of others doors but the only crowded salon was the main one where they were playing cards. The rest of the place was empty as that was a private place.

"Hey, Lauren…" He called her.

She didn't stop and kept walking as fast as she could.

"Lauren, stop…" He insisted as he was approaching her already.

"No… go back to your little private party… which I don't need to be part of it…"

"Okay… I just wanted to end the round… I was wining there… we bet for money here…"

"I don't care about your fucking money… Just call a cab as I have no idea where I am… I want to be back to my Hotel…"

"You are not going anywhere…"

"We'll see!" She yelled.

"Yeah… we'll see!" He yelled.

He grabbed her strongly by her arm, making her stop walking and he put her against the wall, staring at her. She was breathing fast as her lips were trembling and she was hating herself for having acted like an unbalanced teenager with jealousy crisis.

She was trying (not too much) to get rid of his arms. She said:

"Let go of me… I am not your possession… I am not your piece of meat like those bitches…"

He was holding her with one arm around her slim body and with his other hand, he grabbed her by the neck, instantly, slippering his thumb into her mouth.

"You don't have any reason to be jealous..."

"Don't flatter yourself… I'm not jealous…"

He only smiled and still holding her by the arm, he took his cell phone from the pocket and emitted a signal to the gang as he wanted to go out of there.

In minutes they were in the second SUV. Liam gave a worried look at him through the rearview mirror when Ian ordered him to drive them to home as he had never taken a strange person to there.

The place where he lived in Ireland was just one of his palaces around the world. It was a real palace but Emily was too much nervous to notice something. The place also seemed to be the safest place in the world, a real fortress.

There were only Ian and Emily there now, the employees were sleeping and only the security guards were taking care of the place.

They were in the living room now. He approached her and he tried to hug her for a kiss, saying:"

"I missed you..."

She walked away from him to the other side of the room. He said:

"Lauren… what's going on?"

She had to think before say something but she was too tired, emotionally stressed, so she decided only to open her heart. She said:

"I'm not jealous person at all… you have nothing to explain to me… but I did not like what I just saw in that bar… I don't want to be part of that…"

"You seemed comfortable in America… in our dates and everything… what have changed?"

She thought for a while again, and bit her lips, before say:

"I am not asking for any commitment… but at same time… I do not want this just be a casual thing... or only about physical attraction and sex… I want it to mean something to you… like it does to me, Ian… What we had in America was truly special… at least for me… Just tell me now, Ian, if this is only fun, sex and games to you… I need to know now and we will have to stop this… and go straight to the point: Valhalla…"

As much as Emily did not want, she was speaking it from the bottom of her heart, she needed to put a limit on that and test him. It was a test to see how much she had managed to get him wrapped on the plan. But the main thing here was that she really wanted to know what she meant to him as she had no idea now the limit between Emily and Lauren anymore.

"Lauren… look… what I feel for you is very special… seeing your jealous really flatters me, but you dont have reasons for this…all those women in there do not worth the floor that you step on... I think we have something very special here and we should continue to try to see where this leads us… And no, this is not just sex for me…"

He approached her again and tried to hug her. She kind of resisted in the begining but she surrendered to his strong arms as they kissed each other deeply. After the kiss, resting they forehead together, he said:

"Look…. I have to make a trip to Dublin… it was a 'last hour' business… and I want you to come with me and then I promise that when we come back I will take you to see Valhalla… what do you think?"

"I think we can go… I am not in any big negotiation during this period as I am totally anxious to make business with this mysterious Valhalla…"

He only smiled at her as he was putting some whiskey for them. He handed a glass to her and said:

"Then… there is someone that I want you to meet…"

She drunk a little of the strong liquid and said:

"…Really? …Who?"

"Someone very special to me… but not now… you'll know in time…"

"Mm… okay…"

He was talking about the cute little boy, Declan, as she had no idea that he had a son. The boy was in his castle in Tuscany.

After about half an hour, they were in his suite, he picked up a box of things from his past, those were things from when he had been in the war, the medals that he had won, some were even from school days. There were also lots of pictures, and then he told her about his past, that he never knew who his parents were, and he had never had anyone to show his accomplishments, and that those important things ended up only in that old box and lost in his own memories.

Emily was only observing and fighting her feelings. She was living like in a constant struggle. She said:

"Thank you for sharing these important things with me… you can open up yourself to me anytime…"

"I do not trust someone so easily… Lauren… but something about you makes me want to open up to you just by the look in your eyes…"

They shared an intense look quickly broken by her as she looked at the box on the bed pretending that she wanted to know more but deep down she was almost in pain wanting to cut the eye contact because the guilt was eating her up entirely now. Ian also turned his attention to the box again and he took a medal from inside. He said:

"This one here…it was when I was only fifteen… a warehouse was in a huge fire and the fire department was studying a plan to get inside and it was an orphanage… there were children inside and I did not think twice… I know it was irresponsible from my part but I got inside and the whole thing came apart in pieces… it was a big thing but all the children were safe… and I ended up receiving this medal…"

Ian was speaking and looking all the time to the medal and Emily was looking him all the time. His eyes, his ears, some wrinkles on his neck and face that was ratifying what he was saying, his hair that was becoming gray, she could not believe how much part of her had fall in love with him and how this was messing with her. She would have to deliver him to police and she was freaking out with this thought.

Ian looked at her and she had tears in her eyes. He said:

"What's wrong?"

She was a little embarrassed so to speak as the guilt was too much now. She never thought in zillion years that this would be so difficult. She said:

"I… I… it's… I… nothing… I… I… I got a little emotional… it… it's a beautiful story…"

The big lump in her throat was almost preventing her to speak. She said:

"I'm sorry… I need to go to the washroom…"

Inside the bathroom, she locked the door and she totally fell apart. She curved her body as if she was in a huge pain and she actually was, she sat on the floor, against the wall and she started to cry, she curled her body and she was thinking to herself: God… I cannot do this… please… take this away from me if you can… Please, God… help me I cannot do this to him… I cannot do this… Oh my God…

After about fifteen minutes, he knocked on the bathroom door as she was still in there:

"Lauren? Are you okay? What's going on?"

She only opened the bathroom door and threw herself into his arms:

"Please… love me… I need you to love me…"

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**Please, you can give suggestions if you want to see something different here. THANK YOU!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing**

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Emily was only standing on the balcony of a posh Hotel in Dublin. She was dressed in a red blouse, turtleneck, and her typical tight jeans. She had gone out to do some shopping and to visit some places in the city, while Ian had went to the business, like had happened during the last two weeks.

Although it was very cold, she was on the balcony because the view was really beautiful. The sun was up point, dying red on the horizon, to give way to a full moon. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she did not notice when he entered the room. She only felt his arms wrapping her body from behind. She held his arms squeezing them on her belly as she turned the head to kiss him. He kissed her on the lips and then on the neck making her smile as it was one of the most sensitive parts in her body and of course that he already knew this.

"Mmm… I missed you…" She muttered.

"Me too…" He said.

Still wrapped in his arms she turned to face him. She said:

"…Is everything alright? I mean, with the business?"

As much as she did not want this, it was an Emily Prentiss/Interpol question.

"Well… I will have to wait until next week to know… but I am pretty sure that this will be one of the biggest operations that I ever made…"

She mentally lamented as she knew it must be a terrible thing, but he never gave her too much details which for her in a certain way, she was very thankful for that.

"That's good…" She merely said.

"…But we will not have to stay here… we can go back to Ireland tomorrow… and you'll finally get to know Valhalla…"

She smiled nervously.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**Later that night:**

After the fancy dinner at the restaurant of the Hotel, they were in the bedroom now, on the sofa, only snuggling each other, drinking an expensive wine. It felt so fucking good to be in his arms.

She could no longer deny what was happening. A chill in the stomach, a tense look, a bland smile, it was definitely a consuming passion that she was feeling, which had shaken with all of her structures. She even tried to hide it a bit, but her body could not help it: it was pretty obvious how much she was involved with him with all desire, lust, chemistry, in full bloom, all the time.

Falling for him had made things easier for her? Well, for now yes, because it would be too complicated to fall into bed with someone who she just felt nothing for.

They were lying on the sofa, only the light of the moon illuminating the room, she was on his chest, he held her chin and kissed her lips and he had his mouth full of wine, giving it to her and falling into a deep kiss. She swallowed the wine and kissed him back, smiling, he smiled back to her. She rest her head on his chest again as he was gently caressing her on the hair and arms. Life seemed almost perfect in this very moment for both of them. It was when she heard:

"So… tell me about you… your life… I know nothing about you…"

She froze and she thanked God that he could not see her face now as it was stuck on his chest.

She thought quickly for a while then she said:

"Well… first thing you have to know… and I think that you already know it… it is that I am a very closed person… I don't trust anyone… I hardly open up to anyone… and I remember being like that since always… and with time and as far I as know that I really can trust you… I'll open up more… but for now… there some things that I can say… I am an 'only child'… I was not raised by my parents… so all my childhood I was always lonely so I had to be by myself since I was a small child… I was never good at school as I always had the feeling that I knew much more than the teachers… so finally when I was in high school I could quit school forever… and I moved with an ex-boyfriend and I learned a lot from him in this business… but he was stupid… he was a drug dealer and you know… there is no future for drugs dealers, besides cemetery or jail… and after being used by all the men in my life I ended up here… alone, by myself taking care of my own business…"

He was only listening and smiling to himself as if it was possible for him to love her more. Emily Prentiss was smart and shrewd and everything, she knew when and how to use her secret weapons of seduction and before he could start asking questions that would put her into a delicate situation, she moved her body to be able to look at him. As he was lying on the sofa, she sat over his body, one leg to each side of him. Even though both of them were fully dressed, she could feel the reactions of his body under hers.

She looked at him in her best sexy face, biting her lips, then, she got rid of her sweater showing her perfect boobs in her sexy black lace bra, driving him insane. She approached his lips and bit them, whispering in the sequence:

"The rest of my secrets… I'll let my body to reveal… only if you're good enough to find out…"

Well, that was enough to wake the beast inside him to make love to her for the rest of the night.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

She woke the next morning with Ian bringing a tray with breakfast for her. She stretched on the bed and sat and said:

"Mmm… you keep spoiling me… and I am getting too damn used to it and you will not be able to handle…"

"You didn't see anything yet… imagine when we get married…I'll treat you more than like a Queen…"

He said that and put the tray on the bed in front of her. Sensually, biting a strawberry, she said:

"Marry?" She asked.

He smiled at her, and he sat next to her on the bed and said:

"Yeah… that's what people do when they are terribly in love and involved…"

She opened her mouth as if she would say something but nothing came out and she raised her eyebrows, then after some time has passed, she said:

"Ian… we've been together for a month or so…"

"Yeah… I know… but it seems like forever to me… I never felt for anybody what I feel for you, Lauren… you bring me peace… you bring me faith and trust…"

She was totally speechless now thinking: If he only knew. She was not expecting this at all. He added:

"…You are one of that special people that God put into the world as if you were in a service of him to make people happy and make their lives shine…"

She was getting nervous and embarrassed now. She said:

"No, Ian… Stop it… I am not…"

"Yes, you are, Love... but I'll stop saying this, if this bothers you... so, what do you think?"

"…About what?"

"…Getting married…"

She had never thought in zillions years that this would be like that, that she would wrap him in such short time. Yeah, Emily, you're a powerful woman! She thought. Too bad the only man that had propose to her and that she would say a big 'yes' without thinking so in love she was, he was the only one in the universe that she could not marry. She said:

"Ian… well… it is not only because we're together for such short time… but… I was never into this marriage thing… I never was…to me… weddings are most like a folklore party and I never saw myself being part of it… not even when I was a teenager… I never liked it…"

Seeing a little of disappointment on his face, she added:

"…But I believe in relationships though…"

He smiled at her and pulled her into a deep and passionate kiss.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

**Weeks later, in Ireland:**

"Clyde... I don't have anything concrete so far... I need more time… I did not even find out the connection between him and this faction Valhalla…"

"As much time as you spend undercover the risk gets bigger and bigger, you know that, right?"

"Yeah… I know that… but I don't have enough yet…"

"It's been two months… I read the papers you sent about his transition in Dublin… but once again the name Valhalla popped up as the main faction in the operation… we need to know, very soon, what is the connection between Ian Doyle and this Valhalla thing…"

"I think I'll get to know real soon now…Have you provided the warlike supplements that I asked for?"

"Yeah… everything is meticulously organized… they will be there in that address you send us… with all the weapons and stuff…"

She took a deep breath and said:

"Okay…"

"Emily… what's wrong?

"What?"

"Your voice… you seem nervous and you seem… almost in pain…"

"Clyde… I am not in Disneyland having fun… I think it's pretty normal if I'm nervous…"

"Okay… Take care… please…"

"I know what I have to do… bye Clyde…"

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

It was a big propriety in Ireland where Ian Doyle had asked Lauren Reynolds to meet him there.

"Open it…" Ian said.

Liam opened the back part of a big truck and it had huge and modern weapons never seen by them before. They were incredibly surprised as they were dealing with this business for such a long time and they had never seen stuff like that before.

"Liam… something bothering you?" Ian said.

"…None of our other suppliers can get stuff this good… She's too good to be true, and you're too blind to see it…"

Liam was right-hand man of Ian, a person that he most trusted in his life. Ian rarely decided something about anything without talking to him first. He was the person Ian could trust more when it comes to business.

"Shut it…" Ian said, ordering to close the truck.

"Get in the car, the second one…" He ordered to Emily.

"I'll take care of her…" Ian said to Liam, but she could hear as she was making her path to the car. Her stomach got cold in fear.

**Inside the SUV:**

"…You always ride in the second car…Why?"

"…Because the first car takes the hit in an ambush…"

*Moments of silence*

"Are you going to Take care of me?" She asked and her voice was cracking.

"Yes, I am…"

"Good…"

It was time to appeal again to her seductive weapons: she kissed him deeply, as she wanted to demonstrate that she was totally in his hands. He broke the kiss and said:

"Hey, hey… I need to ask you something…"

"You never ask me about my, you know, about my business, about Valhalla anymore… Why is that?"

"Since we've been together… I just assumed you'll tell me when you're ready to tell me…"

"Well, uh, there is something I want to tell you…"

"Okay…"

"I was going get you the ring, but, uh, you said you're not the marrying type…"

He said that while he was taking a Gimmel ring in a necklace from his pocket and he gave it to her. She was surprised. It was actually his way of proposing to her, of course that her heart melted hearing this. She took it in her hands and after the initial shock, she said:"

"It's… It's beautiful…"

"Look at me…" He ordered.

"I am Valhalla…"

She could not believe he was there delivering this kind of important information to her. She knew that it would be a long road until she had enough evidences against him, but for now she only wanted to be Lauren, the woman who was deeply in love with him.

"I have no idea what kind of life we're going have, but I just want you in mine…"

She only hugged him and she was too much divided between Emily and Lauren to think what to do next.

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**Thanks for reading and a comment would make me really happy. **


	7. Chapter 7

**I OWN NOTHING**

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**America, DC:**

"I got the most awesome news in my life this morning and I want to share with all of you..."

Morgan, Garcia, Elle, Gideon, Reid, JJ were all looking at their boss now and it was the first time that they could remember to see him smiling and he also has a special glare in his eyes. He said:

"I'm going to be a father…"

Everyone smiled in happiness and one by one they went to congratulate Hotch for the great news.

"Oh, man, congratulations… although I don't understand anything of this 'marriage and babies' things and I will never be part of this… I am very happy for you…"

"Thank you, Derek… that's because you have not found the right person who completes you, and that is your soul mate... but once you look into the eyes of the person you want to settle down and have a family with like I did with Hayley… it is the most beautiful and precious gift in the whole world… Your time has not come yet… but I have a strong feeling your soul mate will soon enter your life..."

Morgan laughed and said:

"I doubt that…"

"I can see a lot of children around Daddy Morgan yelling: I want chocolate… I want ice-cream… I want new sandals… and all the boys chasing your daughter just like you do nowadays with all the girls…" Garcia said.

"Oh, baby girl… is this some kind of plague or something? Is it the way you say you love me?"

"It is exactly because I love you that I wish all of this for you… a godness woman that will be able to steal your heart and make you do everything for her…" Garcia said.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you… but you will never see this…"

"Okay, my Chocolate Thunder, can you please repeat these words so I can tape it, I want to play this back to you at your wedding day…"

"Statistics show that men who tend to be womanizer become overprotective father of their daughters because they know that is full of guys like him out there… and they know very well what they are capable of doing…" Reid said.

"Oh, C'mon, pretty boy… I thought you were on my team…"

"Statistics also shows that majority of men say the same as you Derek saying they will never marry and settle down but in the high majority they are the first to settle down to have a wife and family than those who never says this…"

"Okay… okay… well… I surrender… only if, one day… I find a woman that is: smart, intelligent, funny, kind, sweet and brave at the same time, sexy, voice of an angel, nice boobs, great butt, fleshy lips, big eyelashes and that totally understands my job… and also… this person must be so badass and so tough that she will can kick my butt that I would afraid to fight her in physical and verbal battles… then I get married…"

Everybody laughed as they knew that it was a very difficult task.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Ireland:**

She had walked all over the city now, and she had ended up with possibilities of have being followed by someone. She noticed Liam's eyes on her all the time, but she had managed to get out of the property without raise any suspicions. She walked a lot and visited a lot of places thoroughly planned by Interpol for her finally meet Clyde on a foggy harbor. She looked around and entered the yacht.

"Damn, Emily! I'm here for hours! Where were you?"

"One of his henchmen does not take his eyes of me… I have to be careful, Clyde… it seems that you don't know with who I am dealing…"

"C'mon… what do you have? We cannot waste time here…"

"He is the guy… he is the Valhalla guy… he is the leader of the faction…"

Clyde was in total shock. He could not believe it. He raised his eyebrow in surprise. Emily said:

"Here are all the evidences I got so far… but it's not much…"

She threw a file on the small table. Clyde opened the file and started to give a general look at it and he said:

"Wow… we trapped him!"

Emily gave a sarcastic smile and said:

"WE? As far as I know I am the only one who had to open my legs for him… and have my heart totally…"

She stopped talking realizing that she had said too much. She hugged herself in a protect act and walked to one of the round window of the yacht only looking to the rainy and cloudy day outside. Clyde approached her and said:

"Emily… don't tell me are you falling for him…"

Without looking at him, she said:

"It does not matter, right…. I'm doing my job…"

"…But you falling in love with him it is a total conflict of interests, Emily…"

She turned to face him and said at his face:

"You're pathetic, Clyde… you really think I could go to the evil side and do not do my job? Is this the thanks I get risking my life for this job? I'm doing this assignment better than anyone could have in such a quick and efficient time… I am not a robot it is understandable that real feelings would be happening… Just leave it at that and please do not give me any further lectures as this is the last thing I need..."

*Moments of silence*

He looked at her neck and he saw the gold necklace and the Gimmel ring and asked:

"What is this?"

She bit her lips and even though she did not want to say she knew that it was all part of a play, so she had to say:

"He proposed me…"

"Oh, Emily… wow… you really trapped him… what are you going to do now?"

"I accepted… I mean… I am moving with him tomorrow… I think it'll be easier to get more stuff against him and everything… but at the same time… my contacts will be sparse and rare… but I'll get in touch eventually … don't look for me, please…"

He could notice something very wrong by her voice, it was not fear or anything like that, it was a kind of sadness, and the glare of her eyes was totally dark now. He touched her chin as if making her looking at him and said:

"Are you okay?"

A big lump in her throat was almost preventing her to answer. She merely said:

"I will…"

She disappeared from there so damn quick so he could not see the tears falling down her face. She came out running, walking fast, on the foggy harbor, as if she wanted to disappear from there, not fearing that someone could have followed her, not fearing that she could have been caught, but as if she wanted to escape from the bloody situation in which he had placed her heart in. Suffocating her pain that was like a cry in the dark night and a begging for help but no one ever could hear or do anything! She would have to stifle all her pain and live all her anguish, not knowing if one day her soul would go back to the light again, and all by herself.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**America, DC:**

"Ambassador Prentiss, excuse me?"

"Yes!"

"It's the governor on the phone… line 2…"

"Okay, thank you…"

"Hello, governor… I trust that everything is well…"

"Yes, Ambassador Prentiss, everything is well with my family... how about your family?"

"Uh, I cannot tell exactly the same but we can discuss this later… so my next assignment is in Russia… well… I cannot say that I am happy with this but I'll take this as I never said no to the government of my country…"

"I'm sorry, Ambassador Prentiss… but you Madam is one of our best in this competence and we're having some troubles in Russia right now that I am sure you are totally capable enough to deal…"

"I don't doubt this… for how long I'll have to stay there?"

"We're planning a year…"

"Uh… not too bad… well… as soon as I come back… I'd like to talk to you about my daughter…"

"Oh, little Emily…"

"Yes… she is working for Interpol now… and something just do not sounds good for me… I want her here… back in DC… I am sure you can help me to find something for her here…"

"I'll glad to help you, Ambassador…"

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Ireland**

Emily was in the living room and she had three big Suitcases around her.

"This is all that you have?"

She had her hands on her waist. She bit her lips and said:

"Well… Ian… with my kind of business I opted long time ago for not having any fixed address… so I only travel with my clothes and documents… and I live mostly in Hotels… That's my life…"

He approached her and took her hands and said:

"This will change, love… I'll give you a home… an address and I will always protect you…"

She smiled at him, trying to hide how much she got ashamed of herself every time she heard things like this.

"Ian… I want you know how much I love you…please, never forget that, promise me that you will never forget this? I never felt like this for any man like I feel for you… You can feel it every time you look at me and kiss me and when we make love…"

There was anguish in her eyes that she just could not hide because big part of this was the truth.

"So why you look so sad?"

Yes, he was not stupid as he could see in her eyes something was not right. She said:

"Ian… I am not good in relationships… I never was… so I am afraid this can end anytime… but it's just me… I promise… I'm happy with you…"

"I am so happy with you, too, love and… I feel the very same way about you… I never felt this way about anyone as it was mostly about sex and lustful feelings… but with you, Lauren, it is the total package, full love, romance and total soul and heart connection… I promise that we will be happy together forever as a family…"

He kissed her passionately.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Two months after:**

Emily was now in four months of undercover work, and she had sent several documents to Interpol to prove the connection between Ian Doyle and Valhalla, and the investigation had developed fast, and Lauren, well, Lauren was only enjoying the country life in Tuscany Ville, trying not to think about the day that it would end.

Ian was on the balcony of the castle talking on the phone about business when she saw that Emily was in the beautiful garden and she was running on the grass pretending she was chasing Declan, she seemed very happy and the also the boy was having a lot of fun time only playing with her.

He hung up the phone after finishing his business and he smiled at such a touching scene. He was definitely a happy man like he was not since long time ago, or just like he had never been in his entire life. Seeing the two people he loved the most in his life.

He went down the huge ladder to join them in the garden.

Pretending he was running away from Lauren, Declan ran to Ian very quickly and he took the little boy in his arms. She approached them breathing hard from running, and she said, while she was tickling his belly:

"You're good, you young strong, smart boy…"

Declan smiled and Ian had a smile from ear to ear so happy that he was now. Ian said:

"You are some kind of fairy or angel or something…."

"You are such a charmer Mr. Doyle as those skills of yours never change… But you know I'm not any of this… total opposite … stop saying these things…" She said.

Ian put the boy on the ground and said:

"Go take your toys… it's almost dinner time…"

The boy ran to pick up his toys that were on the garden. Ian hugged her and said:

"You make me so happy… I'm serious… I thank the day you came into my life…"

Every time that Ian said those kinds of things to her, her heart shrank a bit as the guilt was consuming every pore of her being. She said:

"You make me happy too… the way I never been… the way I never imagine that I could be…"

He kissed her lips and it turned to a deep passionate kiss that was broken by a certain young boy pulling the hem of Emily's pants to get some attention. The boy said:

"Ms. Lauren, can you be my Mommy?"

She opened her mouth wide and she did not understand anything there. She looked at Ian and he was also surprised by what his son had just asked. Emily bent down to talk to the boy:

"My sweet boy… Declan… I would be honor to take care of you like a mother… but you already have a mother…I would be proud to call you a son and I already love you like one…." She said it and gave him a big hug.

Ian looked at the boy and said:

"Go to Louise…"

After the boy was gone, Emily said:

"So weird… I mean… he took me totally by surprise…"

"He loves you, Lauren… it is just impossible not to love you… he adores you… you are so sweet with him all the time…"

"Yes… it must be this…"

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Few weeks later:**

Ian was in a business travel for two days now. Emily was in their bedroom, in the Tuscany Ville castle. She was walking fast from one side to the other as Clyde was talking to her on the phone and saying that Interpol wanted to start to organize the ambush to arrest him definitely. She was terribly nervous because a huge part of her did not want this, but she just had no way out.

"Clyde… there are some things that I still have to do… please… I'll give you the signal…"

"Emily… it's past time… we have enough to put him away for the rest of his damn life and I can't wait to do this…say good-bye to your lovely happy life and your wild hot sex nights…"

It sounded like a punch in her stomach. She said:

"You're a selfish, crappy, worst kind of person…don't call me ever again!"

It was when she felt someone right beside her. She froze at the same time that her heart seemed to stop for a while as she had no idea for how long he was there. She slowly turned to face him. He said:

"Who was that love? It sounds like someone is harassing you… is it someone that I have to take care of personally with my hands?" Ian said gritting his teeth.

She walked from him avoiding eye contact. She said:

"No… it is just…. It is nothing important… really Ian… everything is alright…"

She was too nervous. Normally she used to act calm and controlled but now she was in a big torment in every aspects of her double life, it was just too much for her, she was only human after all. Her hands were trembling and her mind was sending signals for her hands to make some gestures to keep him away.

But, as if ignoring all the feelings that she was demonstrating, he approached, looking at her in the eyes all the time and said:

"If it was nothing important, why are you so nervous love?"

"It was an ex-boyfriend that keeps chasing me… I already changed my phone number but he just found out again… but he is not someone that is worth it to worry about…"

She was saying all that and walking through the room. Ian had to stop her. He grabbed her by the arm almost breaking it, tearing a moan of pain from her. He said:

"If I find out that you're cheating on me… I'll kill you and him with my own hands…"

She could see hatred in his eyes. But she was Emily Prentiss. She quickly get rid of his arms and walked far from him and she said:

"Listen to me, you Mr. Doyle… I don't need to do this… I am not your property… I do not belong to you… so get this straight: I am here because I want to and from the moment I do not want it anymore I will no longer be here… and you can count on it… I am not one of those bitches that you are used to…if I could not demonstrate with my actions how much I am involved in this relationship… I do not know what you want from me…"

She was fighting back tears as a big part of her was being totally honest there. He approached her and said:

"I am sorry… it drives me crazy to know that someone is chasing you…"

She said nothing as she was still hurt, not only because of this but for everything. He took a velvet small box from his suitcase and handed it to her, saying:

"I brought this for you..."

She had her arms crossed. She did not take it, so he opened the box and she could see that it was a diamond ring. She had tears in her eyes and she was not even a little surprised by that. She only said:

"I don't want rings, Ian… I just want you to love me…"

She did not have to ask twice as he grabbed her and she made love to him for the rest of the night as if it was the last time. She could not think about anything else. She only wanted him.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Few days later:**

"Aah! I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna get you!"

She was playing with Declan around the coffee table.

"Hi…" She said to Ian as he approached them.

"Louise… Come take your boy, please…" Ian said.

The housekeeper took the boy to the kitchen.

"You ever think about that?" He asked her, smiling.

"Having kids? It would be a little hard with what we do, don't you think?" She said, trying to justify.

"Maybe you need the right man to do it with…And a son who's crazy about you…"

Now it was obvious that Declan was his son as she was having her suspicions already.

"I… I thought he was your housekeeper's…" She said.

"Louise raises Declan so no one can use him against me… But he's mine…And he needs a mother…"

She was in total shock again. She said:

"I can't do that… Not here…"

"Then I'll get you out…" He offered.

It was her very last try as if Lauren could give her last breath to survive over Emily. She said:

"Or… I could get you out… I have resources… Contacts… He would be safer… And he'd have a father…"

But what came after totally killed the Lauren inside her, he said:

"You know what I am, Lauren… A warrior… I lead warriors… I raise warriors… I can't just leave…"

"You want me to raise your son so he can have your life?"

"Is it that bad a life?"

"There are so many things I would do to make you happy… But I can't do this…"

By this time the little boy was there again. Emily bent down to hug to him and said:

"Go to your father…"

Her task had got a little more complicated now.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Few days later:**

She was impatient and nervous, just walking from one side to the other in the bedroom. Millions things had already crossed her mind, but one more abortion was not an option definitely.  
She had waited for him to leave the house, and she locked herself in the bathroom of their suite. She did what she had to do.  
"My God, a baby is now the last thing I need." She said to herself, in panic, in fear, her heart seemed small and almost not beating as if she could stop everything and just get out of this situation, while she was waiting the result to get ready.

But recalling the last times that they made love, everything had been so intense lately, because she knew that at any moment everything would become nothing and Lauren would be dead, and she would never see him again, at least, that was her thought. But she could not remember the occasion that the condom had broken.  
those were the longest five minutes of her entire life. She finally picked up the little stick in her hands to see the result.

**X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a comment! Thank you!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I OWN NOTHING**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

She was impatient and nervous, just walking from one side to the other in the bedroom. Millions things had already crossed her mind, but one more abortion was not an option definitely.

She had waited for him to leave the house, and she locked herself in the bathroom of their suite. She did what she had to do.

"My God, a baby is now the last thing I need." She said to herself, in panic, in fear, her heart seemed small and almost not beating as if she could stop everything and just get out of this situation, while she was waiting the result to be ready.

But recalling the last times that they made love, everything had been so intense lately, because she knew that at any moment everything would become nothing and Lauren would be dead, and she would never see him again, at least, that was her thought. But she could not remember the occasion that the condom had broken.

Those were the longest five minutes of her entire life. She finally picked up the little stick in her hands to see the result.

From the moment that the little stick was 'yelling' PREGNANCY, tears had fell down her face and she whispered something like::

"Oh, God…No… no… please… "

It could not be said that one of the main dreams of a woman like Emily Prentiss was to become a mother. That thought even had crossed her mind for a few times, from time to time, but it had never been something that she had planned for her. But even if one day this would happen, not even in her worst nightmare she could have imagined that it would happen in such a bad timing situation: get pregnant if the last person on Earth that she could.

Expert in human behavior, she knew that pregnancy had to be a magical moment in a woman's life, even if it was not planned.

There was no way out since now it was a fact: she was pregnant! She had Ian Doyle's genes in a baby inside her belly. Somehow, she would have to accept it and prepare herself to face any problems that could happen.

She knew that she would never have any kind of support about it from anyone, and what was hurting her the most was knowing in advance that she would bring into the world a child without a father, and she wondered what kind of mother she would be. Of course that she would try her best, but she had no idea how to raise a child and deal with a baby and anything, she had never even imagined this situation in her life. She touched her belly as if caressing it and she instantly regretted of her first momentary reaction, which was rejection, anger, fear and anguish.

"I will love you ... I'll love you until infinity and more… and you will keep Lauren always alive inside of me... "

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Next morning:**

The first one to wake up this morning was the little seed that was in Emily's belly. She was on the bathroom floor with her head on the toilet bowl, almost vomiting her soul most likely. She was in such a urgency to vomit that she did not even have time to lock the door. She was still on the floor, only giving some more time, waiting just in case that she would need to vomit more when she heard:

"What is it, love?"

Ian was at the door of the bathroom.

"Well… this is called 'vomit'… and it happens when you eat something that your system rejects some food that you might have eaten…"

"Lauren… I don't like this sarcastic side of yours… Anyways… should I buy a pregnancy test for you?"

She froze hearing this. Luckily for her, she was trying to get up from the floor so she had her backs to him and he could not see her worried face.

"I don't think it's necessary for now Ian… additionally we use condom, I'm on pills… so there is a very small chance of this being what you think this is…"

"… The condom broke for a few times… you know that right?"

She thought for a while and swallowed and said:

"Yeah… I know that… but like I said… I am on pills… and I am on pills since I was fifteen…"

He was putting toothpaste on toothbrush, and looking at her through the mirror, he said:

"You know Lauren… I think that it would be a good idea if we have a baby…"

She crossed her arms and leaned her left side against the wall and said:

"We talked about this not too long of a time ago… about Declan… I don't want this kind of life for him… what make you think I would want for our baby?"

He was spitting the contents of his mouth in the sink. He wiped his mouth with the towel, and looked at her to say:

"I don't get you sometimes, Lauren… you are in this kind of life… your life has all kinds of illegal things and as far as I know it's all by your choice… and sometimes you act as if this was a sacrifice or torment for you… I don't get this…"

"Ian… you said it correctly… it is MY choice… not Declan's or some baby that we might choose to have… if only you had accepted my offer… we could be a family…"

"He let out an angry sigh and went to the bedroom, being followed by her. He said:

"We've already talked about this, Lauren…"

He looked at her and kept saying:

"…I took my life to build this business… this empire… I am the number one in the world in this kind of business… you know what this means?"

"So you would rather to choose your business than to have a family?"

"I cannot see why I can't have both…"

"You just said, back on that day: you cannot even say that Declan is your son… to protect him! No one knows that he is your son… and I bet that inside his innocent mind he is so confused about which his own identity is that this will probably chase him for the rest of his life…this is not fair! This kind of life that we chose is our choice but we cannot decide this for them… for Declan and for a baby… it is up to them to decide, in the future… what he will want to be or do with his life! I wish you could see this, Ian…"

"He will inherit all this business… all this empire and I am sure he will not decline…I will leave this legacy to him and I would fail as father if he does not continue with this…"

"Well… to me, you are already failing as a father… and I would never have a child with you, Ian…"

She was broken inside and her only wish now was that this baby that she was carrying now would not inherit not even one of Doyle's genes.

**Later on that day**

She got out of the house so she could make a phone call:

"Sean… it's me…"

"Emily… did something happen?"

"Oh… nothing in particular… I need to know when all this will finish… I mean… I gave Interpol enough to arrest him… and… now… I really need to know… I'm in this mission for six months already… and I am living under the same roof as him for four months… I don't think that I will get any more relevant things on him… and … well… something happened but it only matters to me… it's about my personal life and I need to get out of this mission, Sean… I need to know a date…"

"Emily… we're finalizing his profile and we are deciding to which prison we're going to send him to…"

"What do you have in mind?"

"…Maybe Russia…we are not sure yet…"

"Well, Sean… how long will this take still? I cannot wait too much anymore…"

She was extremely worried that Ian could notice something and find out that she was pregnant and notice the changes on her body.

"Emily.. I think no more than one month…"

"…One month?" She sighed in disappointment.

"Maybe less… but I cannot be sure… I mean… I cannot give you the exact date…"

After that phone call, she went home walking. It was a distance of twenty blocks or so, but she would take this moment to think. Walking slowly, hands in the pockets of her black leather jacket, she was walking looking at the ground, wondering all the steps and decisions she made in her life that led to where she was now.

She remembered about herself and when she was a little child who lived locked in her own world, a fact that had led her to stimulate her thought and her imagination since at a young age. Sorely lacking of affection and attention she tried to 'escape' of that prison (that was her life), by reading books, about all kinds of imaginable subjects.

But this search for trying to understand everything and everyone, she ended up following this path: try to understand how the human mind works, but even before graduating in any university course, she already had a lot of knowledge on the subject. She was always early at everything, and totally independent.

For a long time she wanted to be one of those people who just do not think, just live the moment, but she was like that, she was this, that was her personality and at any moment she was thinking, reflect and imagine, for often, it was just too much that it could hurt so big that the restlessness was.

But she could not blame anyone for her own choices. She herself had put her in that situation. Why? She did not know, perhaps because her life was so empty and meaningless that she was in need of some emotion? Could it have been different? She would never know.

But she was never a woman to take the easy path. She was courageous and brave, and she would face it with the same strength as ever.

Part of her was totally in love with this man, but the other part knew that she could not be happy with someone who puts money and power above that which makes us human beings: the feelings.

She herself was not a person given to sentimentality, but because she had been trained hard for this, she always heard that feeling is for the weak people. But deep down all that she wanted was to be loved. And what is this if not the biggest weakness of all? She tasted how it was like to be loved, and she liked a lot! Surely she would come out of this experience being a very different person, with a certain twinge in the conscience, yes, but the very final choice was his. He had decided which his final act would be.

She had offered to save him from this life, from himself, even when she could not do this. But he did not want, he had not accepted and this had brought some new information to her, and it had killed a bit of what she was feeling for him.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

She finally got home. Declan was in the living room. He was on his knee making a drawing on the coffee table.

"Hi, Ms. Lauren, I am making a drawing for you…"

"Ohhh… how sweet… can I see it?"

"It is not ready yet… I'll show you when it's ready…"

"Hmm, okay…so… I'm going to take a shower so you can finish it…okay?"

"Okay, Ms. Lauren…"

She caressed him on the hair and went upstairs. She was already thinking about a plan to keep this child safe after Ian was caught. She felt a little guilty about this because she knew how very close they were, and how much he loved his father, his only family. She could not tell even to Interpol people that Ian had this son. She needed to think fast about something to keep him safe.

When she came back to the living room, she saw Ian and he had the little boy sitting on his lap and he was showing the drawing to his father.

Ian smiled at her while she was coming downstairs. She smiled back but it was a sad smile. She just could not pretend anymore, she was on the limit of her mental strength, of all her forces. She joined him.

"Look, love… he made a drawing of our family…"

Emily sat on the sofa near them and she took a look at the drawing. It was a little boy, and a man, and two women, representing Ian, Lauren and Louise, also a beautiful house on the back and a dog.

Poor child, so innocent, Emily thought.

"Wow… you must be an artist… this is so beautiful and touching… I really loved it…"

"Thank you, Ms. Lauren… this is for you…"

He handed the drawing to her. She shared a look with Ian and both of them knew very well every single word that was implicit on that look.

"Oh… Thank you so much… I loved it… I'll keep this with me forever… I promise..."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Few days later:**

She woke up in the middle of the night. Ian was not in the bed so she looked around. She could see that he was in the balcony of the bedroom. She got up from the bed. She dressed her cetin black robe and walked to him. He was only standing there, looking at the moon and smoking a cigarette. As soon as he saw her, he offered the cigarette for her.

"Ah, no… thanks…"

"You have not been drinking or smoking lately…"

It was more like a question. She said:

"I'm trying to quit smoking…"

"Hmm…"

He took one last drag on his cigarette and put it out, pulling her into his arms for a hug in the sequence.

She cuddled up in his strong arms, hugging him tight and for a moment she wished that the world could end right there at this moment so she would not have to face everything that she could already see coming.

It was a long hug.

"You've been quite quiet lately, love…"

"I've always been a thoughtful person…"

"Is there something wrong?"

"Ian… somehow, we know that this will not work…"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know… it is just a feeling… sometimes I feel that a big part of me does want you… but wants only part of you… you know that all of us has two parts inside of us… and the part that always will prevail is the part that we 'feed' the most part of time… so it is like the wrong part of me wants the wrong part of you… but I have this other side… I don't know how to explain… I am afraid… I don't want my wrong side to prevail for the rest of my life… but I know you do… so somehow, someday I know our paths will lead our lives to different ways…"

He kissed her on the forehead and said:

"Don't worry about this now, love…"

Still in his arms, she looked at him with her dark mysterious look and she said:

"Ian… whatever happens in the future… know that I really loved you… and in all our moments… it was all true…I mean… with this kind of life that we both have… we don't know if we're going to be alive tomorrow… so in advance I want you to know this… I love you and you make me feel alive and make me feel like a very loved woman…"

She said this as she was lifting his shirt, which was in his pants in backs, just a little so she could feel his skin. By the touch of her hands, he kissed her on the mouth. She returned the kiss as if she needed this to continue alive. She knew that the 'home sweet home' of Lauren Reynolds was coming to an end.

Few minutes later, they were in bed as in her mind she knew that this was about to end anytime and this could be the last time with him. It would not to be about sex.

It was the last breath of Lauren Reynolds. She was holding back all the tears she wanted to let out. She had never given herself to anybody like that. She would make love to him without shame, without restriction, without guilt, just enjoying the moment.

It was like she was tearing her body and soul to him and then she could die, and if it was not for this baby that she was carrying she including had considered telling him the truth and just run away with him even knowing that he could kill her. At least, she would not have to see him being taken away with her help.

Her mind was too confused now between the two identities, Lauren and Emily. The thing was that Emily had never really had a personal life, and Lauren had lived intensively and fully, every drop of her deep secret desires. Lauren had lived in six months what Emily had not lived in her whole life, in her love life.

They were making love in the silence of the dark bedroom. Their bodies were entwined in bed, only with the discrete sound of her moans, and the warmth of his body.

It was not like all the other times where she used to simply close her eyes and completely surrender to the pleasure only, and to the passion. Now it was different: she wanted to see, to feel, every moment, every gesture of his, she wanted every bit of him. It was an act almost as subtle as the curtain voile shaking there at the exit to the balcony.

She wanted not only to feel but to see every bit of his tongue traveling all over her body, slowly savoring every pore of hers, until he reaches behind her ear, matching the perfect moment that she was fully ready for him, completing her in the most literal way, eliciting a groan from her almost like a pain, but not pain because of the act, but because of the situation, so overwhelming that she could hardly hold back the tears. While he made his way inside and outside of her, she mentally wished that it never came to an end, her hands were on his backs, caressing and holding him, as if she wanted to be even closer. She would enjoy until the last second until he floods her with all his passion.

Much time later, which seemed like hours, but they were not hours, he was no longer holding up. Normally, he always waited for her, but today she seemed not even close, then he whispered to her:

"Lauren, love ... I cannot hold it anymore ..."

She kissed him on the ear and whispered:

"That's okay, babe ... I feel totally complete with your love already ..."

He emptied his contents into her, and it was like the final act of Lauren. She knew that she would have to start to forget that one day she was Lauren Reynolds, the woman who was letting slip through fingers an overwhelming passion.

He was getting up from the bed, when she said:

"Where are you going?"

"I'll smoke a cigarette ..."

"…Stay here, please ..."

He looked at her pleading eyes, and somehow he saw in them all the sincerity. He did not even get out of bed, and he put her in a hug, so she was lying on his chest while he was stroking her hair.

At that moment, she could leave that pain that was hurting her soul would translate into tears. It was the sorrow for words that could not be said, for not being able to share the sublime moment of carrying a baby, his baby! The pain of knowing that she would go out of his life without even a proper goodbye, and it could be tomorrow! She could not help thinking how ungrateful life is, or how much all the hope is always in vain, she wondered how much would be left to her after that, if the carnal distance would erase the love that was stuck in her heart now. It was not supposed to be like that, it was not part of the plan to fall in love. But, maybe this was her punishment.

That night she could not sleep. She wanted to enjoy every single minute with him. She was just listening to his breathing while he was sleeping and the remorse and guilt were consuming her, while she was thinking to herself: 'I am so sorry, Ian… I wish I could tell you that I am carrying our baby that was conceived from the love we feel... I am also sorry of what is going to happen to you... I just wish you had taken my offer to get out of this business…'

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Next morning:**

Emily was in the garden dealing with some flowers while Ian was on the balcony on the phone talking about business. Suddenly, three black cars parked on the sidewalk and two men grabbed her by the arm and put her into the car. She only said:

"I want to talk to Sean…"

From above, he could see when they were taking her. They shared a very last look and he instantly knew.

"…They got her…" He said still on the phone.

"Drop the phone… Get on the ground now…" They were pointing guns to him.

Ian totally ignored and stayed on the phone. He said:

"…Based on their shoes and shades, I'd say CIA… But it could be MI5, ICC, Interpol…"

"Hey! I'm not going to tell you again…On the ground-now!" The guys insisted.

"Hold on… Kill me or arrest me, but I will not lay on the ground like a dog…"

And he finished the phone call:

"I gotta go… Stay on top of this… I'll speak to you soon…"

He dropped the phone on the ground and they finally arrested him.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Okay guys, thank you so much for the ones is reading and the ones are commenting. This means a lot to me. Well, I am kind of sad because one huge friend of mine said she does not read my stories because they are not correct. Well, English is not my language and I am trying my best, I really am! But in advance I apologize and it would be really important to me to hear about how terrible my English is. So, please, I'd like to hear your opinion so I can improve somehow or if it is too bad… I can consider to stop writing. Thank you so much again.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I own nothing**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

She was being taken in that Interpol car at a high speed through the small streets of the village of Tuscany, and she had no idea where she was being taken to.

On that small trip, every single detail was coming back like in flashes in her mind, since the beginning, since the first time that she had put her eyes on him and that his hands touched hers, and she was fighting back the damn tears, but in vain: she was crying a lot! A huge part of her wanted to go back there now.

She wanted to be with him. She wanted at least to have a chance to try to apologize to him. She wanted a chance to say again to him that it was all truth, that the most important that was her feelings, they were all truth. She wondered what would be going through his mind right now.

Would instantly all the love that he said he felt for her had already turned into hate? Will her one day be able to get over this? Will her one day she be able to forget him? Or she would have to face him, through the little baby that she was carrying in her belly, in those deep blue eyes of him? It was like a war in her mind.

After about half an hour, the car parked in front of a Hotel. She was escorted by three guards until one of the rooms in the Hotel. As soon as they opened the door, she could see that Clyde was inside there waiting for her. They left her there with him.

Clyde had never imagined that this mission would be anything easy, but he had no idea that she would end up so devastated like that. He could see into her eyes that she had been crying and she had only stopped crying because he was there and she would not do this in front of him. He kind of tried to approach her and he said:

"Emily… you did a very good job… you know…"

It was the last thing that she wanted to listen. She said:

"Where is my medal? I thought you would have it for me…" She was being ironic.

He did not answer, of course.

"Where is Sean?" She asked.

"He is in London… he sent me to pick you up… he could not come…"

"What? He could not come… I need to talk to him…" She could not believe it.

"Well, Emily… you'll have to wait… we have tickets for tomorrow morning to London…"

"There is something that I need to do here first…" She said.

"You cannot leave the Hotel… don't make me tie you… you that bastard has an army of men and if one of his men sees you… you're dead…"

"Don't worry about me, Clyde…"

"I am only trying to protect you!"

"Fuck! I don't need protection… I just want to be alone now, Clyde… and I do not want to talk anymore at this moment… please… leave me alone…"

"Emily… Look… I know that this was not easy for you… but I always consider you are dear friend… even though you hate me the majority of the time… However, I am here for you and whatever you need… you can count on me…. I want to help you as I know something is troubling you very deeply... It would help to get it off your chest…"

"…Something is troubling me…" She repeated his words and smiled sarcastically.

"… You keep talking like if I was in a vacation trip… you have no idea what I am going through now, Clyde… please… Just leave me alone…"

"Okay… I will… but don't leave the Hotel…It's for your security…"

She did not even answer.

As soon as he left, she threw herself in the bed and hugged the pillow strong as she was in need of a hug and also she could use the pillow to muffle the sound of her screams and pain. She was wearing the necklace ring that Ian had given to her. The only thing that she could think now was about him being taken to a prison and what things they could be doing to him, and she felt like a punch in her stomach to each kick or punch that he could be taking now. She felt like if it was on her, plus all the guilty, because she knew that she was the main and only connection between him and Interpol.

She cried in despair for an hour or so, but she knew that she had not much time to waste now. She had something really important to do. She then sat on the bed and wiped the tears with her hands. She thought for a while and made a phone call:

"Louise… it's me… do not say my name and do not repeat anything… please… meet me in an hour in that coffee shop that we stopped when we were taking Declan to see that doctor, remember? … It was about two months ago? Take him with you… don't let anyone to follow you…and bring all your and his documents and passports…"

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Emily was there impatient, waiting for Louise and Declan. They finally were there now.

It was a very discrete place and she had taken a table in bottom of the salon. They approached the table and sat. Emily said:

"Louise… Look… it is not safe for Declan to live here anymore after what happened to Ian… you'll have to leave the country with him… you'll have to be with him, please…"

"I love this boy like my own son… you don't need to ask me this, Ms. Reynolds…"

"I know you do… and I know that you will do everything to protect him… here is enough money for you to get to this address in America… once there, there will be a man, a very good friend of mine… that will be waiting for you two there… Please… no one can know about this, Louise… you'll have to go now to the airport… I will meet you two there, in Boston…"

Emily gave a paper to her with an address and a lot of money. She knew that she would have to fake their death but she would do this in America. She knew that this would be the only way to protect Declan. She would provide another name and ID for him so he could have a normal life.

Emily was trying to be 100% rational there. She was including avoiding looking at Declan to not break down there. But the little boy approached her to talk to her, very close. He left Louise's lap and walked the other side of the table to talk to Emily. He said:

"Ms. Lauren… I'll never see daddy again?"

She had to look at him. She could not avoid anymore. She looked at him and she instantly remembered Ian's eyes. Fighting back tears, she opened her mouth and she wished she could have beautiful things to say to him, but she knew that she could not lie to him, so she only said:

"I… I don't know…"

Seeing that the boy was waiting for more answers, she took the boy on her own lap, and added:

"I am so sorry, sweetie… things got bad because of your daddy's work… it is so hard to explain all this to you right now… but just keep in mind how much your daddy always loved you… and that he'll always love you so much... you'll have a wonderful life, Declan… I promise you… I'll do the possible and impossible to protect you and give you a decent life that you deserve to have…and one day, I'm sure you will understand all of this…"

She caressed him on the face and kissed him on the cheek.

"Louise… I'll have to go now… this man, Tom Koehler, he will be waiting for you… please… go now to the airport and don't talk to anyone… you are only traveling with your son... as soon you get the airport in America, you take a cab and go straight to this address…Please… take care…"

"So do you, Ms. Reynolds…"

Emily left the place before them. She fixed the scarf again around her face and hair and everything, she was also wearing big sunglasses again, and she went back to the Hotel, to the same room. Once there, as soon as she opened the door, Clyde was there. He said:

"Are you fucking crazy or what? We faked a car accident to pretend that Lauren Reynolds is dead! …AND YOU JUST LEAVE THE HOTEL? …ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND, EMILY! …IF SOMEONE OF HIS TEAM SEES YOU?"

"Clyde… Do me a favor and leave me alone… You do not get to give me any more orders… I did so much for this job and the whole Interpol team that I deserve you leave me alone and abide by my wishes to let me do what I please right now.… I deserve some rest and some peace of mind and I want to be left alone now…"

"Thank God this shit is ending!" He left the bedroom, slamming the door.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**London, Interpol office:**

Everybody that had been part of the special task force called JTF-12, was there now, celebrating the success of the plan: Ian Doyle was in jail and the Valhalla faction no longer existed.

"I have the best team in the world… I'd like to say that each one of you had a very important part to put away this dangerous criminal and Interpol will make sure that he will never see the light of the day again…" Sean said.

"I Hope that he rot in that hell that he was sent…" Jeremy said.

"He is so evil that I am not sure if he will rot in prison or if he will rot 'the' prison…" Clyde joked.

"Well… I think we deserve a long vacation now after so many months working in a row on this case…" Tsia said.

Emily, so far, was only observing and each bad thing they were saying about Ian was like they were hurting her. She only wanted to vanish from there. She said:

"Well, Sean… is this meeting finished already? I mean… is there something else that you need to talk to us? I am so done with all of this…"

"I'll ask you all to keep this file close to you… not that we'll need… but just in case… but I really wish any of us need to open this file again…"

Each member of the team had received a file with all the papers related to this big operation, including pictures, documents, pen-drive, and everything. Emily was the first one to get up from the round table. She approached Sean and said:

"You have a minute? There is something important that I really need to talk to you…"

"Yeah… let's go to my office…"

Once there in his office:

"Emily… really… I'd like to thank you again… you did an excellent job and…"

She cut him off:

"Sean… please… this whole thing really messed up with my life in a way that I don't want to even talk about… I'll only say this to you because it involves bureaucratic work issues…"

"Hmm… okay… I am all ears…"

"I am going back to America… I will not work for Interpol anymore… and this a fact… and I will not change my mind… my place is there and that is what I want…"

"Ouch… that will be a pity for all of us and Interpol… I am really sorry for that… you are one of our best agents that we have ever had… but it looks like this is not opened for discussion… we seem don't even have a conversation in here since you said you'll not change your mind… what do you need then?"

Emily was nervous. It would not be easy to tell this to him. She wished she did not have to tell, but she did not have another option now. She got up from the chair and walked a little in the office. Then she looked at him he was sitting on his chair at his desk. She said:

"Sean… something that was not in plans happened… and I will need full support from Interpol… even though I am moving back to America I will need Interpol's full support for a long time now…"

Sean was not understanding anything, he crossed his arms and kept paying full attention to her. She looked at him and said:

"I'm pregnant…"

At this moment, Jeremy had opened the door. It was clear that he could listen what she had just said.

"Ops, I am sorry, Sean… I did not know Emily was here…"

He looked at Emily and said:

"I'm sorry again…"

He closed the door and left.

The less people know about this, it was better for Emily. She did not want that all of them to know about this. She was only telling Sean because he was responsible for her there. She also had no idea that eight years later, Jeremy would be the one who would sell important information about her to Ian Doyle. For now, she was cool.

"Are you pregnant… wow… Emily…I don't know what to say… I mean… it was supposed for you to be careful…"

"Sean… I will not discuss about this… only I know what I went through and everything that happened to me…"

"Okay… what do you need?"

"I need my rights, Sean… I will go back to America but I want my salary during all the pregnancy period and during six months of maternity leave… then I'll resign for good from Interpol…"

"Sure, Emily… anything… if you need medical or psychological counseling… or anything else…"

"No, Sean… I only need the money so I can fix things in my life in America… very far from here…"

"Okay… thank you again… you did a great job…"

She was leaving his office but she turned to look at him again and say:

"I can say that I gave my life for this job… for this operation… because I am no longer the person I was before…"

"I am so sorry, Emily…"

"I will be okay… thank you, Sean…"

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

And there she was, Emily Prentiss, on a plane flying back to America. She was making a mental retrospect now, more rational than before, thinking about everything that had happened in the last six months of her life. Heroine of a people, but a villain of herself: It was a fact that she would never understand. Consciousness could not be in peace because she did exactly what he was told, but she had betrayed her own love, her only love. It had no place to rest it. Would she have a different path for her in America? She only wanted an opportunity to start a new life with her baby, a fresh clean start and have something to build upon for the two of them and give them some peace and happiness. Right now, she was just feeling so lonely and she so needed a hug, she needed only to be hugged and hear that everything would be alright, but she was clinging on to hope that she would find something better in America because she had to. She liked to think so, because she was not going back alone.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**So guy… what you hope for our dear Emily in America? Thanks for reading and give me your suggestions if you have some… and sorry for bad English…**


	10. Chapter 10

**I own nothing**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Emily had asked her friend Tom to bring Declan and Louise to the warehouse where Ian used to use for business.

She was wearing dark clothes and she had a gun and sauce and everything she needed to fake their deaths. She had already explained to them what was going on. Declan would be sent to a boarding school but he would be registered as Tom's son, and he would have a home to go back to on weekends. Louise would stay in the house.

"Ms. Reynolds, are you sure that all of this is necessary? Louise asked.

"Louise… I am so sorry… but I would not be doing this if it was not extremely necessary… Declan's life is in danger… they can torture him and do horrible things to him, to make his father talk about things they need to know…"

Emily was helping them to get dirty with the sauce to make things look like they were bloody.

Tom took the photos of them, pretending that they were being shot. After the pictures were taken, Declan said to Emily:

"I look pretty good for a dead kid, don't I?"

"Yeah… you look pretty good, sweetie…"

Emily wondered how much that little boy knew what was really going on and she prayed for his understanding was just a little.

"Louise… There is a private plane waiting for you and Declan in the building coverage… thank you so much for everything and for being with him… I am sorry but like I said… this was the only way I found to keep him safe… Tom is going with you…"

They had new ID's and names, and Emily could finally try to go back to what she really was: Emily Prentiss.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

She went to the airport to catch a flight to DC. She arrived at DC airport as it was around eight at night. It was a feeling like she was coming back home. She could feel it in the air. It was almost like the city was giving her the hug that she was so in need of since the last happenings.

Her first thinking was going to a Hotel. But now, she had to think about the baby and not only about herself. She would have to start to make some changes in her life, starting by leaving the pride aside.

So, she went to Ambassador's mansion.

While she was waiting in the living room, while one of the employees had gone to let her mother know that she was there, she was looking around that huge place and it did not seem that she had spent a big part of her childhood there in that house, maybe it was because she had lived like around twenty, or more, in different houses around the world.

She was walking slowly around the room, looking at the impeccable furniture and expensive works of art and some family photos framed, while she was waiting for her mother.

She was so in need of hug and her mother would be the first familiar face that she would see since the turbulent last six months of her life. She was hurt, sad, confused, lost, worried, and everything. But she knew that it would not be now that she would be hugged as she did not want to show weakness to her mother.

"Em? Wow! Am I dreaming? This must be a dream because you are the last person I expected to see here… It is a real pleasant surprise! What do I owe you for this treasured visit? It must be one of those special miracle orbits of asteroids or magic winds that blew you here to my door… Oh, my God… you look horrible! What happened to you?"

"Thanks, Mother…" She was being sarcastic, of course.

"Did you have dinner? Should I ask them to prepare a dinner for you?"

Emily really could not remember the last time that she had a good and healthy meal. She did not feel hungry for a long time. But she had a baby growing inside her. She knew that she had to feed herself with something more than alcohol, cigarettes and coffee. But, for now she said:

"No, thank you, Mother, because I cannot eat right now as I feel so very nauseous and there is a real reason why I look so awful as you so wonderfully put it…"

"So... let's have a seat as I have a feeling that this is not only a courtesy visit…"

Emily usually would never ask her multimillionaire Mother for anything, but now she was thinking more of her baby that she was carrying. She said:

"Well, Mother, yes, there is a huge reason why I am here… This surprises me too that I would come here and ask for your help… but I really do need your help right now…"

"Since this has nothing to do with Interpol… you know I never liked the idea of you working for Interpol… I know their methods of work that they use and I never wanted this for you… this last mission you worked for took what? …a year or so? I really hope you're back for good, Em… What do you need?"

"What I DON'T need is a speech, Mother… well... I just arrived from London and I am receiving good money from Interpol but it is not enough and I will have to wait to get more… and... Well… I want to know if one of your properties is available… I mean… I could rent an apartment now but with all the bureaucracy involved you know… I can pay a rent to you…"

Ambassador cut her off, saying:

"Em, Em… you offend me talking like that…. Of course one of my properties is available to you… Someday all of my properties will belong to you… all of them… you know that…"

Ambassador kept saying:

"Well...there is the house on Dupont Circle and another one on Logan Circle that are totally available now as the former tenants were destroying the place so I had to 'invite' them to leave the house, through my lawyers…"

"Mother… I just want a small place… an apartment…"

"Nonsense, Em… you should take the best and most spacious property I have... Only the best for my daughter… but whatever you want, if you want the smallest then you should take whatever you want… Whatever you need or want is all yours… I will ask Silas to take care of it…"

"Yes, please, mother… I have no place to go now…"

"Oh, anyone hearing you talking like this will think that you are homeless… for God's sake Emily! Stop talking like a loser…"

Emily gave a sarcastic smile and said:

"Somehow I am…"

Then Emily added:

"I know I am not a loser, Mother… I am a Prentiss like you and you keep telling me that we are fighters, strong, willed and winners, but I am also human and I learned in the hardest way that there is some situations that we just cannot do anything about but accept… and the situation that I am in right now is like a losing situation…"

"…Something that you want to tell me?"

Emily looked down and took a deep breath; she looked at her mother and said:

"Mother… I cannot share with you things that happened in this mission… because it's part of a big and secret Interpol's operation as this cannot be revealed… I did what was asked of me to do… the most perfect way as possible… but in the end of the day it looked like I was the only one that was losing something… and something important… and something happened during this operation that will reflect in who I am now and the rest of my life… and this you will have to know somehow… someday… so I'll tell you now…"

"Well, come on, Em, do not keep me in suspense anymore, I am dying to know… I know this is a huge thing since you are here asking me for a place to stay… This here from you I would never expect to see in a million years… You need to spit it out and tell me now before I burst and explode…"

Emily was sitting in a red velvet armchair, while Ambassador was near her, sitting on the comfortable sofa. Emily looked at her mother and said:

"I'm... pregnant ..."

For one minute, she felt like she was that innocent girl at age of fifteen trying to tell her mother that she was pregnant.

And it truly felt like this when she saw Ambassador's face. She opened her mouth but not too much, as she wanted to hide all her disappointment. Ambassador seemed to be swallowing an elephant as this was so hard for her to take this news. Emily mentally cursed herself for still needing her mother's approval. Emily said:

"…Say something…"

Ambassador got up from the sofa and started to take a few steps around the room, squeezing her own hands, and thinking. She looked at Emily and said:

"Is there something more that you want to tell me?"

As an expert in human behavior, Emily already knew what her mother was talking about. She said:

"No, mother… there is nothing more that I can tell…"

Her mother said nothing. Emily kept saying:

"…I know that you want to hear that I am getting married to an important person and that we're giving a big and posh ceremony and that we will have a perfect family and everything… but none of this is going to happen… I am so sorry to disappoint you… I am only telling you this because sooner or later you would have to know and I thought that it would be less worst if you heard it from me…"

"Emily… yeah… I have to confess… this is very far from what I had envisioned for you… you are my only daughter… and yes I had big dreams for you… to continue our name… our family… as you are always such a very intelligent woman with a lot of elegance… but you always had this rebel side... Yes… I am very disappointed… but I love you even though you never felt my love for you… I will support you and help you with whatever you need…"

"Right now I only need a place to live…"

"Em… I can see it in your eyes that you're feeling all alone… pregnant and this must be the scariest thing for you right now… Even though I might be disappointed about all this… I want to be there for you… during all the way… as I was never there for you the majority of your life… But I want to be there for you now…"

"Thank you, mother… you are already helping me by letting me be in one of your apartments… this will help me a lot…"

"Do you need any money or something else?"

"No, Mother… Interpol will keep paying me until the baby is born and until my baby is six months… but thank you…"

*Moments of silence*

"Should I ask about the father of this baby? Will he be a part of your life, or the baby's life at least?"

"No… Mother my baby's father will not be a part of our lives… and I do not want to talk about him… It is very sad but it's the reality… but I will love my baby even double to make up the fact that he or she will not have her father in his or her life… Sorry, Mother, I cannot talk about who the father is and talk about him… but know that we will be okay…"

"Well… you are thirty-two… you are a grown woman… I can only support you in everything you need… and the choices for your life… and for your baby's life is yours…"

"Thank you, Mother…."

"So… are you ready to remember your old bedroom?"

Emily looked at her mother surprised as if she was not understanding anything. Ambassador gently placed her arm on Emily's backs and arms as if she was kind of guiding her. She said:

"You're staying here for two or three days until you can move into your apartment… you can redecorate the apartment on your own ways and we can make a cute bedroom for the baby… well… we will have to wait to see if it is a girl or a boy… also… I still have some of your cute stuffed animals and dolls… if your baby is a girl then you can give them to her…. I kept this all for you in a safe place... If your baby is a boy he would love the stuff animals and I know not your dolls…"

She kind of felt loved and supported.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**At the same time in Chicago:**

Morgan's family was having a nice dinner all together.

"So, Derek, how is the new job at the FBI?"

"Oh, Mom… it is not THAT new… it has been six months already… well… the job is all the most darkness things in the world we see there and happening all the time… but we are all so grateful when you are able to save one life… only one… makes you feel so good and wanting to continue doing it… and…I'll have to say… I found a second family in them… in the people that I work with… which is so cool since it's very rare I can come and stay with you all here where I really feel at home…"

"…Or maybe you can consider starting your own family…" Desiree teased.

Derek started to whistle pretending that he did not understand what she meant.

"…Yeah… C'mon, Derek… you're the older one… we are crazy to have children running through this house…" Sarah said.

"Mama is dying to be a grandma…" Desiree added.

"Okay, okay, girls… listen to your older big brother here and open your ears to get this straight: I will never get married… I feel very cool living this life of a player… I will never fall in love with anyone… Love is not for me! …and if Mama wants grandchildren… you two should get started…"

"Hahaha… you say this now… But when the love bug hits you…you will take back everything you said here about not getting married…" Sarah said.

"Yeah...I can already see him bringing breakfast for her in bed every day!" Desiree said.

"Yes… and cleaning the house better than Mama only for her…" Sarah said.

"…and him proposing to her on his knees… hahahaha…" Desiree said.

"…and I can see him doing everything for her… like licking the floor she steps on…"

"Okay… Mom… please… control your daughters… none of this will ever happen! I promise…"

"Ugh… Okay… let's make a bet, then… if you are so sure…" Sarah said.

"Anything you want…" Derek said.

"You will make breakfast in bed for us… and be our personal maid… clean our bedroom and bathroom… and be at our service… every time that you come to visit us…"

"Deal! You know I would never like doing these things… so I am betting this because I am so confident that I will never marry!"

"Oh, no, no… I don't want this burden on your brother's shoulders… I don't approve of this bet.… stop with this…" Fran said.

"Oh, Mom… he suggested this…" Desiree said.

"I know… I know… but I know more about life than you three together… so just stop with this…"

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**About an hour later:**

Derek was on the front porch of the house. He was stirring in his cell phone and smiling. Fran could see that he was smiling as he was texting to someone by the cellphone. Fran approached him sitting on the other rocking chair near him and said:

"…Someone special?"

He looked at his mother and said:

"Ah… nope…"

"I could see a special smile on your face…" Fran added.

"…yeah… but only because she was telling me how hot I am… and other things that I don't dare to say to my mother…"

The moment he said it, he was looking at his mother and she could see that he actually did not have that special glare into his eyes, typical of a person who is in love.

"Derek...I know that nowadays thirty-two years old for a man is still too young to get married and have a family… but don't talk like that… I mean… I don't like when you talk the way you did during the dinner… my heart grieves every time you say you will never get married and have a family… I am not saying for you to get married only for the marriage with any ordinary person… but you should start by stop saying these things… sometimes… when we throw something to the universe… it can be thrown back at us… our words have power…"

By this time, Derek had already stopped texting to the girl.

"Mom… I got it… I know exactly what you are talking about… I agree in everything you said… but the thing is that I can't find anyone… don't you think I am tired of behaving this way? Sometimes I feel like a real pig… but I just can't feel love… I don't think I ever will fall in love in my lifetime…"

"Derek… we all feel like this… some people take too long to find a real love but that one is the best… this will happen when you least expect it… like it did for me with your father… When the right moment comes she will find you by entering in your life…"

"I don't know, Mom… I am sure this will never happen to me… it always like that: I meet a girl… she is nice… we get together… but the other day or days after… I look at her and I only feel nothing… so I just assumed that I am a player and I will never fall in love and I will never feel that thing so special that make people do everything for the other person like my sisters were saying… I just cannot understand this…"

Fran touched his hands making him look at her, and said:

"…Stop saying these things… take care of yourself, of your soul and feelings… and she will find you… I promise…"

**At the very same time, in DC:**

Emily was lying in same bed of when she was a teen. It was late night in DC already, since it is one hour ahead of Chicago, and she was too damn tired because of the last happenings. She was thinking heavens that the talk with her mother had not been so difficult. She could turn back the attention to her baby, to her situation, and try to think from now on. But with the head on that pillow, there was no way that she would not think about Ian, and everything that she had done to him, and the pain that she was feeling was so strong still. She curled into herself, while the tears started to wet the pillow.

**Chicago, at the very same time:**

Fran kept saying, while holding Derek's hand:

"…Right now…at this very moment... somewhere in the world... there is a very special woman waiting for some brave and strong man, just like you... to wipe her tears off...and love her… and she will make you so happy… you just have to be open up to it… and, at the right moment... you'll bump into her…. And from the moment when you look into her eyes… you will know it…"

Fran snapped her fingers in the air, and completed the sentence:

"…She is the one!"

She smiled at him and Derek smiled as well, and he felt comforted by his mother's words. He looked at the sky, to the shining stars and said:

"…I hope you're right and I find her…"

Fran gave two slight gentle slaps on the top of his hands, as if caressing it, and said:

"…You will, dear… you will…"

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**Thank you for reading AND please, leave a comment!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi guys! Missed you all. Hope you all are doing great! I used a song in this chapter so if you turn on the song and listen along with the reading it would be cool. The song is "Angels", Robbie Williams. Good reading.**

**I own nothing**

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She was there in the baby's bedroom, she was fixing the last details of the decoration. She was now hanging up a white 'ballerina mobile', above the cradle.

The bedroom was now fully decorated in white and some nuances of very light pink.

There was a dresser with a diaper changer on it, also a wardrobe, a cradle, a nice armchair for Emily to be there with her, and lots of cute Teddy bears and some dolls since she knew already that knew that her baby would be a girl.

She was eight months pregnant already. She had spent the whole pregnancy practically alone at the apartment that Ambassador had given in to her. She was redecorating it, and she was also decorating the bedroom for her baby girl.

During all these six months as she was two months pregnant when Ian was arrested, she was trying to prepare herself to face the moment of the birth as she knew that she would have to do that alone all the way.

If it was other times, she would just try to fool herself by mentally reaffirm that she was a strong person and that she could perfectly face everything alone and blah blah blah.

Well, she had been put in a situation now that she knew that she had to figure out, in a hard way, that she was not as strong as she was thinking that she was, like she had always heard, but also that she did not have to be, and it was perfectly normal to have weakness and everything because this would make her feel more human and she would fit better in her own skin.

She could not deny that she wanted the father of her baby there with her all the time, during every step of the way. Even so, even that those six months that she was alone had spent flying, she could not help but still think about Ian every time that she put her head on the pillow, or every time that she was thinking about her baby and how her little girl would look like.

She looked around in the baby's bedroom and everything was perfect, only waiting for her baby to come to this world and she still would have to wait one month or so to finally see the face of her baby for the first time as she was so anxious waiting for this like it was keeping her alive, and it would be the main reason she was living for.

She gently touched her big belly with the two hands. She took a deep breath as she was tired. She said:

"Well, Anna, it looks like everything is ready now… I hope you like your bedroom… Mommy did everything only thinking about you and in all the best for you, sweetie… Did you like it?"

She was only wondering out loud but little Anna seemed to be willing to interact and she did somehow.

"O.o… yeah… ohh… I got it…I got it… what are you trying to say, sweetie…I hope that is that you like it…"

Emily smiled as the exactly moment that she was talking to her baby, Anna started to move inside her belly.

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**Few weeks later:**

It was late night already. She was in front of the big mirror of the bathroom of her suite. She would take another photo for Anna's album. She had taken photos of each month of the pregnancy.

She looked at the image of her belly reflected on the mirror and smiled and took the photo. Then, she looked at her face on the mirror, at her eyes, and they were much darker than usual. She took a deep breath realizing that despite all the effort she was doing to try to look ahead always and think only about the future and about her baby girl she could see that she still had all the bad feelings that the undercover mission had left impregnated in her soul.

She swallowed and she did not like the image of herself that she was looking now. Not the external and physical appearance, but what her eyes were showing about her most dark secrets, what they were showing about her most deep feelings, and that they seemed to not have life at all. She knew that this was not good for the baby. One life was being produced inside her in the middle of those terrible and dark feelings. But she was already to be born at any time, so was not now too late to try a change? This brought tears to her eyes and she could not stand to continue facing her own image at the mirror.

She went to the bed and she got under the duvet almost covering her own head as if she wanted to hide herself from herself. But like always, like every single night, when she used to close her eyes to try to sleep, it was when she clearest could see: Ian always came to her mind almost instantly the second she closed her eyes.

She could not help but still miss him a lot still, especially now that their baby was about to born, and it was too painful since she was still in love with him, or at least, she thought that she was. She was in a point that the guilt had mixed with love and with a lot of other feelings. But she missed him, she was missing the touch of his hands, she was missing his rough skin, she was missing his kisses, and everything about him, especially the way he always showed how much he loved her.

She missed the strong presence that he made in her life. He had been the first one that showed to her that she was a woman that had to be protected and loved and cared for. Never in her life she thought that she would like those things, but it was only because she did not know this other side of her that he had so miraculously awake, arousing another part of her. She wished that she had not liked this other part of her because she would not be having such difficult time to get totally get rid of Lauren Reynolds to become what she really was: Emily Prentiss, the badass.

But when you miss someone so badly and this become a big pain in the heart and an elephant stuck in the throat and this feeling is just too big and painful that just cannot fit in the heart anymore, so, it just drips through the eyes. She was again, like every night, wetting the pillow.

She knew that, somehow, she would have to make an extra effort to forget about him, and about those months, and about everything that she had lived with him.

Hugging her own belly, she said to herself:

"Come on, Emily… you are this tough cookie of a badass agent you always have been… It's time to collect and gather yourself and shed no more tears… Just think about your baby and the happy things you will live with her..."

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**Few days later:**

"I am sorry, Britney… this never happened to me before…"

"Oh, Derek, I don't know even what to say to you… is there someone new in your life?"

He was sitting on her bed, looking down, ashamed and extremely disappointed with himself as this was the last thing a big alpha male like him was expecting for, while she was getting dressed in her robe.

"No, there is not anybody new in my life…" he sadly pointed.

"That would be the only reason for the macho, manful, muscular Derek Morgan to fail with a woman… yeah… especially with a woman like me…"

"I don't know the reason… this never happened to me before, I swear… I am really sorry…"

"Well… it looks like you have nothing else to do here…this situation is really embarrassing…"

Derek then got fully dressed and tried to give her a hug. She stopped him.

"So… it looks like I am only a boy toy for you? Like, you only want my presence if..." He said.

She cut him off and said:

"WHAT? You must be joking, right? You never respected any woman… you are the one that never, EVER, wanted any kind of commitment … you are the one that during all your life had treated women as object only to please yourself and now this?"

Derek was hearing all that the woman was saying and he was mentally trying to think about a defense for himself and he wanted desperately to have something different to say but nothing, sadly he got the cruel finding that he was really the wrong one and that he had never treated a woman the way they deserve to be treated.

"I'm really sorry, again… I guess I am going then…"

She pulled him for a hug now and after a long time hugging, she said:

"Derek… I hope one day you find someone that make you change your ways… because this whole kind of life is starting to really mess up with you…"

"He broke the hug and kissed her forehead…"

Not more than five minutes later, he was driving his SUV back to his home. He could not avoid thinking about the last happenings.

Listening to the song on the radio while he was driving made him wonder if: was not he trying to get rid of the loneliness by being with so many different women during all his life? Was not he trying to avoid facing that loneliness, being alone for awhile, in order to get ready for a real love, after all we are supposed to be lonely to get in touch with our real person and soul to figure out who we really are to find out ourselves complete to be able to really love someone and dedicate ourselves only to that person?

The song was saying:

"_I sit and wait… Does an angel contemplate my fate?_

_And do they know…The places where we go… When we're gray and old?_

…_'Cause I've been told… That salvation lets their wings unfold_

_So when I'm lying in my bed… Thoughts running through my head_

_And I feel the love is dead… I'm loving angels instead…"_

Somehow that song touched him.

At the exactly same time:

Emily was having really hard time to sleep for the last few days. Not only because her 'almost nine months pregnant' belly that Ian Doyle had given to her, that was the minor of the 'problems', but because the big time was coming, the moment that she would meet her baby and she would have to do it all alone.

She was an independent woman since long time ago, everything was ready: the baby bag, the cell phone was always with her and she would only have to call 911 and ask for an ambulance and they would do their best for her and she knew that after that within minutes she would be with her baby girl in her arms.

But, was she ready to hold her baby and enter her home alone with her? Was she ready to raise this precious gift by herself as she had no job anymore and she had no idea where she would work? Was she ready to face her child and explain why she did not have a father or where was he now, and everything that had happened when she would start to understand things and started to ask things? Emily always did everything all alone for herself but now, was she ready for to really face all her fears?

She knew that by accepting that offer by Interpol to live another person, another life that was not her had been nothing more than an escape of her own life and loneliness, ah, the same loneliness that someone not too far from there was feeling.

She knew that she could not escape from who she was anymore. She had to be herself for real with all her feelings and fears and everything that made her so human and that she had tried to avoid so intensely during all her life as she just never wanted to have to deal with feelings, she had now to make things true for her baby.

She went downstairs and she approached her huge window of the living room as she could see the lights of the whole city as it was very late night already. She placed her hand on the big belly and took a deep breath. Yeah: she was alone, but she would not be for too long. The thinking of that she would be holding her baby in one or two weeks brought a smile to her face but also tears to her eyes as she knew that she was the one that had to be a strong, not the baby.

She was only thinking about her baby, and someone not too far from there was still listening to the same song that seemed to fit perfectly for her as well:

"…_And through it all she offers me protection… A lot of love and affection Whether I'm right or wrong… And down the waterfall… Wherever it may take me… I know that life won't break me…When I come to call she won't forsake me…I'm loving angels instead…"_

It was a beautiful night with a full moon and a starry sky. Derek parked the car in a high place of the city. He got out of the car to get some air as he was feeling suffocated. Suffocated by the his own thinking as he was remembering every heart that he had broke, and they were not a few, and also because he knew that in order to be a better person, to make his family so proud of him, he would have to be alone and get ready for a real love. The question was: where was she? Where was 'the one' that God had carefully prepared to him? He looked at stars and he just felt, he felt that she was somewhere.

He could still hear the end of the song that said:

"When I'm feeling weak… And my pain walks down a one way street

I look above… And I know I'll always be blessed with love

And as the feeling grows… She breathes flesh to my bones

And when love is dead… I'm loving angels instead…"

Looking at the most shining star on the sky, he said:

"I will find you… my tough little cookie…" He said it out loud to himself and smiled that sweet charming smile.

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**Well, Demily moments is about to come. Please, leave a comment.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I own nothing**

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"Oh my God! Hurry up… please…. Hurry up… ouch…"

Emily hung up the phone after having called 911 for ambulance. She could not even breathe anymore. The contractions were getting intense along with the pain and the periods between them increasingly shorter.

No more than half an hour later she was entering the hospital room in a stretcher. Quickly, the hospital team prepared everything for the delivery because they were running out of time.

Beads of sweat were forming on her forehead, both because of the big effort she was making and the pain she was feeling, blending with the tears that were streaming down her face. Excitement, guilt, love, longing, she was having mixed feelings that she did not know how to explain.

But she was happy, and that was the most sublime feeling she could feel now, she was finally meeting her little princess.

Of course she wished that he was there with her, but she had already made her mind: she would have to do it all alone like a big strong girl. She wanted to hold his hand now but he wasn't there, he would never be there, he would not even know about this baby. She held as strongly as she could on the iron bar of the bed as she gave a last big push before hearing her baby crying for the first time.

She put her head back on the pillow and relaxed her body, she felt as if she had been ripped apart inside. A few seconds later, a nurse put her baby in her arms and for a millisecond it seemed as if the baby was ten times bigger than her. That baby girl meant such a big responsibility. But, from the second she looked at her baby crying in her arms, she felt a strong sweet bond forming between her and that small human being. She was crying happy tears looking at her baby when she heard someone speak.

"She is perfect…"

Still shedding tears and looking at her baby, she said:

"She sure is…"

"… Hey…Anna… I promise that I will love you so much… my heart will burst out of my chest for you... I promise I will do my very best to be the mother you need…"

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It was around 8 at night, Emily was finishing breastfeeding Anna when she heard the doorbell ringing. As she knew who it was, she only put Anna in her bassinet and went to open the door.

"Emily, I am so sorry I couldn't come before but I had to travel to Russia again as you know and I had to spend much more time there than I expected and…"

"It's okay, mother, I totally understand…"

"Wow… you look great already, I am glad that you got my type of body…"

"Am I supposed to thank you for this?"

"Oh, Emily… you and your dark humor…"

"Well… maybe I pulled this from you too."

Ambassador ignored her and showed her small box.

"This is for the newest Prentiss' family member…"

Emily smiled.

"Thank you, Mother, and, I am sorry to inform you that you are indeed a grandmother now. You have a granddaughter so come on and met her."

Both women then sat on the couch. While Emily was opening the gift that her mother had brought Anna, the Ambassador was holding Anna for the first time.

"Oh, Em… she is so beautiful, but those beautiful blue eyes… those aren't typical in our family."

Emily said nothing about this but rather chose to comment on the gift.

"Oh, Mother… this must have cost you a fortune ! Thank you."

"My granddaughter deserves the best"

They were very small earrings, like pearl, made of gold with a small diamond on it. Still looking at Anna, Elizabeth said:

"Em… when you were first put in my arms it was the happiest moment of my life. I know that I never gave you the love that you needed. I only gave you material things, all the best in the world… But I know you needed more than that in the emotions and love department. I know you will provide more for your baby girl in this area than I did for you. I know when this beautiful baby girl was put in your arms, it was the most precious moment of your life like it was for me with you, and I am sure you will be a wonderful mother."

Somehow Emily was touched and comforted by those words. She was still holding the earrings in her hands.

"Thank you, mother."

The Ambassador looked at her daughter.

"You are very welcome, darling."

"I've never heard you talk to me like this before… I know you always loved me, mother, you sacrificed all your time to give me the best that money could buy… I always loved you too… even though I never told you much…"

"Oh, Em… you know tears can cause wrinkles on the face and it is also a demonstration of weakness… so don't make me cry…"

"Yeah, mother… but they are also a way of clean the soul… and plus… happy tears are good…"

"That is true, Em, but how does it look if people saw me crying as it is a very an 'unambassador' like thing to do…"

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Emily was sitting on the sofa with her laptop applying for a new job when she heard the doorbell ringing.

Little Anna was sitting in her playpen with some baby toys around her. She was biting a toy because her teeth was starting to grow and were bothering her a bit. The girl was now six months old.

Emily was expecting it to be someone from Interpol bringing some papers for her to sign but was bitterly surprised when she opened the door. She did not like what she saw: Clyde.

"I didn't know you had been demoted to be Interpol's 'office-boy'."

He let out a bitter smile and said:

"Do you know that your bad humor makes you even sexier?"

"It wasn't a joke… I was really asking, Clyde"

"Oh… and your answers are always on the tip of your tongue as well…"

She rolled her eyes and opened the door wide for him to enter.

Then, she locked the door and they walked to the living room. He had some files in his hands.

"Just so you know… I asked Sean if I could come and bring the papers of your resignation myself. I just came from another undercover mission that took me almost a whole year, and I was in need of some time off and of course I wanted to visit a friend and…"

He stopped talking when they reached the living room and he had the shock of his life seeing little Anna in her playpen. He looked at Emily with his eyes were full of questioning.

Just looking at him, she could see that he didn't know that she had left the undercover mission pregnant with Ian's baby. She sat on the sofa, next to the playpen.

"So… Sean didn't tell you ?"

Clyde was so in shock that he took a few seconds to believe what he was seeing.

"Emily… wow… I don't know what to say…"

"If you are going to judge me or something, just don't say anything… Yes this is my daughter, Anna. I don't want anyone to know about her, much less whom her father is so please Clyde, when you go back to Interpol be discrete about this."

"Oh… sure, Em"

Clyde approached the playpen.

"Hey you little one. Look how pretty you are."

The little girl was looking at him with no smile on her face. She wasn't used to see anyone except her mother and the Ambassador.

"Can I hold her?"

Emily was hesitant.

"She is not used to strangers… I mean, she might cry but you can try."

Clyde took the baby from the playpen and Anna stayed quiet only looking at him.

"Well… By that serious face I can see that you are a tough cookie just like your Mom. Huh… aren't you going to give me a smile? Wow… Emily… she is… she is a carbon copy of him… look at her blue eyes… the expression on her face…"

"Clyde, please, she is my daughter and only mine… Please don't talk about him…"

" It still bothers you that much to talk about him over a year after his arrestation? Are you still in love with him?"

"No, Clyde, this is NOT about him, this is about her. No one can know that she is his daughter. I don't want my daughter to have any connection to him. He does not know about her and I want to keep things like that to protect her… To put an end to this conversation, yes I loved him… I totally fell in love with him but it's in the past! And I am trying to build us a new life as far away from this as possible. So please, let's deal with what really interest you here?"

He joined her on the sofa Clyde still had Anna in his arms.

"Okay…. I brought the papers for you to sign and after this Interpol will deposit the money in your account for the final settlement and you'll finally be free from us…"

She read the papers before signing them.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I am looking for a new job but I've just started recently. I want and I need a normal life now."

He raised his eyebrows at that.

"You? …a normal life?" He was being sarcastic.

"Yes, Clyde, for the both of us."

"Good luck with that. It's in your blood Emily, you need the adrenaline, I know you… You like taking risks…"

"I used to, Clyde, but not anymore, because of this precious thing here. I'm the only person she has, she needs me. She thinks that the whole world is full of love and I want nothing more than to make it a reality."

"But you know the world isn't like that Emily… it's actually the opposite…"

"But I will try to do it until I succeed."

Emily was about to sign the papers and Clyde was playing with the baby in his arms when suddenly Anna spat up some milk, vomiting on all over Clyde's clothes.

Emily looked at the scene and she wanted to laugh.

"Well… thank you very much for the shower young lady, I didn't have one today, and I really needed one. You must have taken after your mother not liking me…"

"I'm so sorry, Clyde. Let me get you a towel to clean your jacket. Please send me your dry cleaning bill, I know the Hotels charge a fortune to wash this things. I know this might ruin your favorite jacket. You've been wearing this one almost all the time since I've known you…I'm going to go and clean her up. I'll be quick. You can use that washroom there, there are clean towels you can use."

"Thank you."

After about half an hour, Clyde was sitting on the sofa waiting for Emily. She was coming downstairs.

"Oh, I am so sorry to keep you waiting, Clyde. I had to give her a bath and change her etc… did you clean yourself up?"

"Well… I tried, I think I still have some time before I start to smell like sour milk."

"Again, I'm sorry, Clyde."

"No problem…"

Emily put Anna back on her playpen.

"Let's put this sweet cute little Princess here and not take the risk to give another shower to our guest, right, baby?!"

She took the papers and gave a last read and finally signed them, handing the file to Clyde again.

They both kept quiet after this. Noticing the lack of words and the awkward situation that had formed there, Clyde said:

"Well, I think I'm going to go then…"

She got up from the couch before him indicating that she really wanted him to go. She put both of her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, and bit her lips. He got up from the couch and Emily followed him to the front door. Before she could open it, he said:

"Emily… this can be your end with Interpol but not between us, I mean, I was never good with words but I really care about you… I want you to know that you can really count on me… especially now…"

She cut him off.

"Clyde, look…"

Bur he kept speaking.

"It's true, Emily… I could seem impartial during the time that you were undercover but it was because we have to stay focused at all time. But I knew that you were in pain and I know that it must have been a sacrifice for you… I know that you had to sacrifice yourself and your feelings to accomplish this mission and I admire you for that even more. I know you don't want to talk about this but it is not about him, it's about us… I really care about you… and I'll always be there for you, if you need anything."

Of course Emily had already put most of who she was before Lauren Reynolds back together: the badass Emily Prentiss. But hearing those words from Clyde brought up recent bad memories to her mind. A big lump formed on her throat.

"Thank you…."

He touched her arm and said:

"I really mean it…"

"I know…"

He pulled her into a tight hug, the type of hug that she had needed in a long time. He kissed her on the forehead and left, and she closed the door. She closed the door on her past.

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**Exactly two weeks later:**

Emily was giving some soup to Anna. She was introducing her to solid food, fruits and juices, so far she had only breastfeed her and soon Emily intended to go back to work. The phone started to ring.

"Mary, please, can you answer for me?"

Mary was the new nanny. She did not need any recommendations since she was daughter of Emily's nanny since she was born until she was like fifteen. She would stay and take care of Anna when Emily would find a new job.

"Emily… it's for you"

"Oh… well… can you finish here with her ?"

After a little while Emily hung up the phone.

"Wow… they're offering me a job at the FBI… BAU… and I don't even know how my resume ended up there…"

"Well… you can go check it out and ask them about it."

"Yes… I'll do just that."

Emily approached them and looked at little Anna.

"I'll miss her so much…"

"She will be fine, Emily, you can trust me."

"I trust you… but I'm still going to miss her."

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**Few days later:**

"Hi"

"Hi"

"Agent Hotchner?"

"Yes."

"I'm agent Emily Prentiss"

"How do you do? Oh…you're Ambassador Prentiss' daughter. I did security clearances for your mother's staff. It was one of my first commands. I believe you were off to Brown at the time ?"

"Actually it was Yale."

"Ah."

"I've been working as agent for almost 10 years now."

"Don't tell me that…Has it been that long?"

"Apparently, Sir."

"Your parents well?"

"Yeah, yeah, they're great."

"Excellent…"

*Awkward moment of silence*

"What can I do for you?"

"Uh, well, I guess I was hoping you could tell me where to put my stuff…"

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm supposed to start here today at the BAU…"

"There's been a mistake."

"I don't think so, Sir."

"There's definitely been a mistake…"

A blond woman named Jennifer entered the office.

"Excuse me… We're getting started."

"Thank you. I'll be right there." And the blond left.

"I didn't approve this transfer, agent Prentiss. I'm sorry for the confusion, but you've been misinformed. Excuse me. It was very good to see you again."

He passed by her and left his office where she was still holding a box with her belongings. She heard him speak to another man.

"Did you approve any transfer?"

"No… I would've discussed it"

"That's what I thought. She's got the paper work to join the team."

"You want me to make a call?"

"No… I'll make it."

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**A few days later:**

The same man, Aaron Hotchner, leader of the Behavior Analyses Unit, was entering his office and saw her.

"Please, tell me you haven't been here for the last 4 days?"

"I heard you were flying back tonight."

"Heard? How could you have heard a thing like that?"

"This was dropped off today."

"I appreciate your interest, agent, but profiling is a specialty. We can't just let anyone who wants to give it a whirl…"

"The I-80 killer? Co-eds in Indiana?"

"Yes, I read it on the plane…"

"They aren't blitz attacks… This guy's organized…He's a white male, early 30s, and a smooth talker, because even after 11 victims, he can still convince educated women who know there's a predator out there to get into his car."

"How would you advise the police?"

"I would stake out the ranch house, a night club in Gary. They have a very popular ladies night on Thursdays. If you look closely, you'll see that 8 out of the 11 victims went missing on a Friday morning. So something gets this creep's motor running on Thursdays… This isn't a whirl, agent Hotchner. I don't know how the paperwork got screwed up or maybe you believe my parents pulled some strings, which they didn't, by the way. I belong in this unit. And all I'm asking you for is the chance to show you that.

"I still need to look into this… I'm not promising anything."

"Understood."

"We brief new cases every morning at 10:00 can see facilities management about a desk."

"You won't be sorry."

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It was her first day at her new job as a special agent in the Behavior Analysis Unit, for the FBI. She was a little nervous to start this new job with a new team that she didn't know anything about. She was also totally heartbroken over little Anna. She totally trusted Mary to take care of her little baby but she could not help but miss her a lot. After all, during the first eight months of Anna's life Emily was always there with her, and now, she wouldn't be anymore. But she also knew that it was totally unrealistic to think that she could stay with Anna forever, she knew that it wasn't healthy, more so for the baby.

She followed Aaron Hotchner, serious as always, into the meeting room where she was going to meet the team for the first time.

As soon as she stepped into the meeting room, she couldn't help but feel like one and only one person in it mattered, like she physically couldn't pull away, even before she could look at him. She was afraid to even to look at him. He was already sitting at the round table when she entered. He couldn't avoid looking at her and followed her with his eyes. It was as if she had filled all the empty space in the room.

He felt like he had been looking for her his whole life, as if he had just found that 'thing' that he'd been so strongly fighting against, afraid to be broken. He was looking at her, holding his breath, for the first time in his life and he was scared to death. He had never felt this alive before. He could see a secret world inside of her, just waiting to come to life. He could see scars in her soul, yet he was feeling home.

"Everybody meet agent Prentiss."

"The other day, I've been filling her in on protocol." The blonde woman, JJ, said.

An african-american man got up just a little and reached his hand to her, introducing himself.

"Derek Morgan."

"Emily... Prentiss."

Only now when her hand touched his, she looked at him for the first time.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Thanks to Lena who is helping me a lot with excellent English tips and the correction. Thanks for reading and please leave a comment.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I own nothing**

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Reid and JJ entered the BAU in the morning ready to start a new week of work. Derek was already there at his desk.

"Someone has been strangely more involved in his work for the past month, I can't even believe this."

"Yeah, Spencer… He used to always be the last one here and now he is always the first one."

"Hotch is already here." Morgan said.

"Hotch doesn't count."

"Hmm and I can also smell a different perfume, nice and strong, striking scent. And look at this fancy shirt."

"And have you notice how he is more of a gentleman than usual?"

"Yes, and how during the last five cases, he didn't flirt with any of the female police officer or any women working with us."

"It's because now he doesn't look at other women anymore. He only has eyes for her."

"Or he thinks all the other women are less interesting now."

"Okay, okay, pretty boy, as far as I know you understand pretty much nothing about the love department, and you, JJ, aren't even a profiler, so all your theories are wrong."

"I may not be a profiler but I'm a woman. Women know these things."

"And I may never have been in love but I have real data: statistics show that when a man is in love, even though he does everything to try to hide it, it shows in his behavior, he starts to wear better clothes, he does everything he can to stay close to the person and to find out as much as possible about the person's life and…"

"Okay, enough! I have no idea what you guys are talking about. I'm trying to focus on this file. I'm trying to work here, if you two didn't notice."

JJ went to her office and Reid to his desk.

_**Five minutes later:**_

"Good morning."

Emily passed by them without looking, carrying her go bag and her purse, and went to her desk. She was still trying to fit in on the team, but still keeping a safe distance from them. She was there to work and she wasn't willing for anything else to happen beyond work. She had already been there for four months.

She put her stuff on her desk and went to the small kitchen to make some coffee.

The coffee machine was filling her cup when he joined her pretending that he also wanted a cup.

"Did you have a good weekend, Emily?"

"Yeah."

Of course he was expecting more than this, and of course she noticed.

"It… It just feels weird for me to talk about my personal life here, you know? I don't really know you guys all that well yet."

"No problem. I totally get that."

Morgan was disappointed. He was leaving the small kitchen when he heard her saying something.

"You have to understand, I'm a nerd. Like, seriously. I spent the whole weekend only reading."

Well, that wasn't a lie at all. It was part of the truth."

"What are you reading now?"

"Kilgore Trout..."

"Kurt Vonnegut?"

"Do you know Kilgore Trout?"

"I read Slaughterhouse-Five when I was 12 and it blew my mind."

"Seriously?"

"I couldn't get enough. So I just kept going and I read 'em all."

"Yeah, yeah, me, too."

"What's your favorite?"

"Oh, Mother Night."

"The one about the American spy... Who pretends to be a Nazi."

"You are who you pretend to be."

"So be careful who you pretend to be."

"Oh, my God, I can't believe you're a Vonnegut fan. You just made my day."

"Anytime."

JJ came to call them to the meeting room but she only found Reid at his desk. She approached him:

"Wasn't he too focused in his 'work'?"

"Looks like someone here is the only thing he can focus on."

Emily was now leaving the kitchen when she heard something.

"Look, Emily, the coffee here isn't as good as a place I know where they make the best in the world. How about I take you there on coffee break or anytime you are free or after work? Their food is just 'out of this world too'."

She was smart and she knew very well what was hidden behind this innocent invitation.

"Derek, after work and when I am off I don't have time for a social life. I have things that keep me really tied up. I would love to go with you but I can't. It's not that I don't want to. It is that I can't. I'm so sorry."

She could see his disappointment:

"But during work for coffee break maybe we can."

He smiled at her. He took this as not total rejection but as a little hope. He couldn't quite understand what was happening to him. He had never been in love with someone before. He had never experienced true love, so he was kind of lost. He had looked at her and had become immersed in her the second he saw her. Even before they even talked, their bodies had started communicating. It was a soul connection. It was like perfect chemistry. But Derek Morgan was Derek Morgan: he would never admit that he was in love before he could be totally sure that it was reciprocated. Until then, he would keep his feelings bottled up inside.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

**A few days later:**

The team was on the plane about to flight back to DC after a case. Reid was playing cards with Morgan when Emily threw a book on the small table between them, momentarily diverting their attention away from the game.

"Oops…"

He took the book in his hands.

"Wait a minute... No you didn't! Where did you find this?"

"In the airport, can you believe it? I haven't read this in fif…in like twelve years."

"Okay, that's funny, chapter three is when it starts to get good."

"Okay, I'll let you know when I get there."

"Alright, you do that."

She went to sit at the back of the plane. Of course all the smiles and sweet-talk on both sides didn't go unnoticed by Reid, who, meanwhile, chose not to say anything, but whose teasing smile was speaking loudly.

"What?"

"Nothing…"

He still had the smile on his face.

"You think you're the only person around here who reads books?"

"No, but you never want to talk to me about books…"

Morgan took a look at Emily and then back to Reid.

"You think I'm sending her the wrong kind of message?"

Reid turned to look at Emily to make sure that she wouldn't hear. Then he whispered to Morgan.

"I have noticed you guys sitting next to each other in the round table room, and I've seen you hanging out at her desk, and I just realized…if I'm noticing this stuff, it must be pretty darn obvious, right?"

"Okay, well… You know, normally kid, I'd say you got yourself a really good point right there, but uh… trust me. Emily Prentiss is not the kind of girl who's interested in Derek Morgan."

"What?! What kind of girl isn't interested in Derek Morgan?!"

"The kind of girl that's way too smart to think she can change my ways. Everybody knows I'm not ready to get serious."

"Maybe you're a lot more ready than you realize."

"Dr. Reid, are you really trying to school me on females right now?"

Reid turned again to make sure Emily wasn't hearing.

"My mother says girls can sense when men are changing. When you're ready, certain types of girls, the right kind of girls, will find you. It's only when you're ready though."

"You think I'm not on top of my game all of the sudden?"

"I don't know, only you can say with certainty, but I have real data. Believe me: it's easy to recognize the signs. You get easily distracted, you start eating and sleeping less and spend hours and hours thinking about her, it's similar to a compulsive behavior, like drug addict people. That's right: the neurotransmitter of passion is called dopamine. It's also involved in cases of addiction. And it stirs within the part of the brain controlling the reward system, the mechanism that makes us find pleasurable things such as food, sex or love. Dopamine has an incredibly strong influence on us. From now on your happiness depends on someone else. If she calls you or sends e-mails, even if it is about work, for example, you'll feel like you're in paradise. When she's away you'll live in slow agony. If you're feeling all this, my friend, you can celebrate. Congrats! You're in love!"

"Whether you're right or not, Reid, she doesn't seem to be available or opened to anything…"

"That is another issue…I'm sure you'll know how to do it…"

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

Emily Prentiss was slowly learning to put her feelings and priorities above other things. She was a little torn this morning as she had yet to decide what to do. The alarm beeped at 6 a.m. as usual. She sat on the bed thinking

Then, she took the phone to make a call. She knew he would be up already.

"Hotchner?"

"Hotch, good morning."

"Morning, Prentiss."

"I'm sorry to call you at home so early in the morning…"

He cut her off. "No problem, I was awake already, how can I help you?"

"I need to ask you if I can take this morning off. I have an important appointment."

"Okay, anything I can help with?"

"Just giving me half day is enough."

"You got it. If we have any cases out of town, JJ will call you."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Not a problem, bye."

"Bye."

She put on her satin robe, brushed her teeth and washed her face, and went to Anna's bedroom. The little girl was used to sleep in her own bedroom. She had inherited those strong tough independent genes from both her parents, especially from Emily, but of course the baby monitor was always on. Emily entered Anna's bedroom to see the little girl standing in her crib, playing with the ballerinas on it.

"Who is the most special, prettiest little girl in the world that's becoming older today?"

The little girl smiled at her mother, reaching out with her little arms for Emily to hold her. Emily took her from the crib, kissing her.

"How many fingers will you be today, Anna?"

Anna curiously looked at her.

"You're one today!" She said, showing the baby one finger.

"That's right, my little baby is turning one. Mommy will stay with you a little more today. We'll make a cake together. Do you want to help Mommy make a cake?"

At that, the little girl started having her own conversation, babbling happily to her mother.

Emily had Anna in her arms and had opened the drawer to choose clean clothes for the girl.

"Oh, my baby girl is becoming a big girl now, huh, sweetie. I can't believe that you can walk and that you're starting to talk, my Princess."

Anna, loving the attention squealed.

Emily was leaning against the tub giving Anna a bath. The little girl was delighted this morning because usually it was the nanny who took care of her morning routine. Anna was splashing water like crazy, wetting Emily, also kicking the water out of the tub.

"If this was not a special occasion and your birthday, I would be very upset with you, young lady, for wetting me, but today I will let it go."

She was finishing dressing Anna when they heard the doorbell ringing.

Anna squealed again as Emily held her to go downstairs.

"It must be Mary. Do you like Mary?"

She only got some more incomprehensible sounds while she went to open the door.

"Good morning, Emily. Oh, am I late?"

"Morning, Mary, no, no, don't worry… I got her ready first because it's her special day today. I'm going to stay home this morning." Emily was still in her robe.

"I brought this for her."

"Oh, that's so sweet of you, Mary. You didn't have to, but thank you."

"Give Mary a hug sweetie, she brought you a gift."

She held the girl towards her nanny and was happy to see her daughter give her a thank you cuddle.

"Mary, can you give her a bottle with I take a shower, please, then, we're going to make a cake!"

"Sure."

The nanny took Anna in her arms and went to the kitchen.

**About one hour later:**

"Isn't this the prettiest cake for the prettiest girl?!"

Emily had made a cake by herself. Anna was there watching carefully and laughing. Mary was also there. Emily wasn't the cooking type but she was trying to improve herself in a lot of departments for her daughter, and cooking was one of them.

"So, let's sing: _Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Dear Anna. Happy birthday to you_."

Emily took Anna from the baby high chair, kissed her, and hugged her.

"Happy birthday, my sweetie. One year ago, you made me the happiest person in the world and each day I have a reason to live because of you. You are the best thing that happened in my life and I love you so much."

Of course Anna had no understanding of those words, but she could feel how much she was loved, she was happy so she smiled.

"Mary, please, take a photo of us before we cut the cake."

"Sure."

Mary took a photo and Emily took a lot of other photos including the mess Anna was making with the cake, eating it with her little hands. Her face was all dirty with whipped cream, she looked adorable.

**At the same time, at the BAU:**

JJ had already presented the case and they had discussed it a lot. Someone was living a real internal battle to keep his curiosity to himself and not ask about Emily and why she wasn't there that morning. He was having hard time staying focused. They would have to travel to Indiana.

"Call Prentiss, see if she can go, please, wheels up in thirty."

He was mentally praying for JJ do it there in front of them, but she went to her office leaving him still restless, alone with Reid and Rossi.

"Statistics show that when someone is missing someone so badly like Derek is, if 'this person' shows up now, his spirit would be lifted a million times more than it is now."

"I am sure Derek wants Emily to be here but only because he knows how very valuable she is to the team and he knows about her skills. That's the only reason why Derek would want her here now to join us on this case, right, Mr. 'I will never fall in love, I will never get married'?"

"Okay, you two just get it off your chests before you both die from holding it in. I am happy to be source of your entertainment. Just know that payback is a bitch, especially you, Boy Genius."

**At Emily's place:**

Emily was crying, still holding Anna in her arms.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing, I mean, I can't believe she is one already, time flies. These are happy tears."

Her cell phone started ringing.

"Prentiss?"

"Emily, it's Jennifer, Hotch asked me to call you to check if you can come with us. Indiana, involving children."

"Oh, okay, sure. I can go. Just give me thirty minutes."

"It's all we have."

She hung up.

"I have to go."

"No problem, Emily, I'm here to work which isn't quite a hard work. It's always a pleasure staying with Anna."

"Oh, Mary, I forgot to tell you, I'm considering putting her in daycare for half days, at least, but we'll talk about it when I get back from this case. I have to get ready now."

She was driving to the BAU after having left Anna at home on her birthday. Her heart was breaking a little but she knew it was important and she would have other days to stay with her daughter. During the time she was at home, all the morning, she had given all her attention to her daughter, but now, while she was driving, she couldn't help but think about him, about the way he made her feel loved, and desired, the way he used to touch her, and kiss her, and how he used make her feel alive. And what she was avoiding the most: about how things would have been if he just had chosen to be with her instead of the weapons and the billions dollars. Anna would have a father. She would have him. She would still feel loved.

"Fuck!"

She cursed out loud realizing that she was shedding a tear. It was not only a tear. It was a proof that the door of her past wasn't totally closed.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

All the team was in the jet. They were reviewing the case, only waiting for Emily who had just arrived.

"I'm sorry, I had some personal problems."

Derek unintentionally dropped a paper in the small corridor where she was walking. As he was sitting, he only reached his hand to pick it up, but she did the same thing. They both reached for the paper at same time. Their hands touched and they stared deeply into each other eyes. It wasn't for more than two seconds but it meant more than months of a talking.

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

**North Korea:**

He was in Kwan-Li-so, in the camp, being forced to do hard labor, having inadequate food, getting lot of beatings, totally inadequate medical care and unhygienic living conditions.

But he was Ian Doyle and it would take a lot to bring him down. He was trying to get help from some connections as he had a lot of money, but nothing useful so far.

Among some of the worst people on the planet, he was only one more. He was outside, in the opened field of the prison, smoking when a guard handed a letter to him. They were allowed to receive letters, but everything used to pass by the rigorous screening of security, first.

"This is for you. Don't think that you won't be interrogated about it."

He dropped the cigarette on the floor, almost ignoring the presence of the guard there, always in his typical petulant way, and he took the letter in his hands. It had only a note inside.

"_Congratulations! Your lovely daughter turns one today."_

**/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\**

**Guys, for this chapter I did a little research online about Kwan-Li-so and about how love acts in the brain (it was Reid explanation).**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a comment.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi people! I had a huge test this afternoon for my heart! Wow! Well, I survived!**

**My Beta surprised me today returning the chapter corrected by her. So, I'm publishing it now.**

**I own nothing**

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

**A few weeks later:**

Both Emily and Derek were coming out of the elevator on the BAU floor. She was carrying her go-bag and a coffee and he the suit he would wear for work since he was still in his workout clothes.

"Seriously?" Emily asked not believing him.

"Would I lie to an FBI agent?"

"A thousand sit-ups?"

She still couldn't believe it.

"Sometimes twice a day." He bragged.

They stopped walking towards the office. She wanted to look at him and really try to understand.

"Why?"

Derek smiled and pointed to his chest, touching it.

"It's all about a strong sexy core you know what I'm saying.'"

"Oh, God, I really hope that's not what it's all about!"

Derek laughed and opened his arms almost offering himself to her.

"Come on, Princess, take a feel..."

Emily indeed took a look at his chest, but she quickly headed into the office.

"Oh, no thanks."

"Oh, come on, don't be scared. I know you want to..."

"Mmmm, no thanks!"

By the way she had talked and the way she just wanted to get away from him now, he could notice that she wasn't totally indifferent to him. She had some feelings for him. He had his chances with her.

"Come on now you won't break a nail I promise."

They both laughed but she was already in the bullpen.

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

**Two days later.**

They were working on a case away from Quantico. It was around eleven p.m., the case was far from over. The team had just delivered the profile. Emily chose a safe place in the police station where no one could hear her and she called home.

"Mary? It's me."

"Hi, Emily."

"How is she? Does she still has a fever?"

"Mm, she's sleeping now. I gave her some Tylenol. The fever has been down for a while."

"Mary, I have no idea how long we'll stay here, but if anything is wrong, please call me."

"Don't worry, Emily, she's just teething, the doctor said it. She'll be okay. But if anything goes wrong, I'll call you."

"Okay, thank you, Mary."

She joined the team back.

"Prentiss, Morgan, go talk to the victim again."

Derek was driving and they were talking about the case and what they would ask the victim. Despite doing her best to help on the case Emily couldn't help but think about her little baby. But she was in the middle of some of the best profilers of the world. She knew they knew something was bothering her. She was mentally wishing that no one would ask anything.

"Did something happen?"

She was frightened by the sudden question. She looked at him for a second, but quickly looked out of the window again.

"What do you mean?"

"I can see by your facial expression that something is definitely wrong. What is it? I want to help you if I can."

"It's nothing that you can help."

Realizing that she had been a little harsh, she tried to redeem herself.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. No problem".

But Derek was determined with a strong personality, not afraid to fight for what he wanted. He knew how to smile when it was needed, and knew how to be serious when the moment demanded it. And one thing that simply didn't exist in his vocabulary was giving up something he wanted.

"Emily, I know we don't know each other that well but I truly care about you. I can't fully explain it but I felt an immediate connection with you. I never felt like this before. We're new partners at work but I can tell we'll be more than working partners. We'll have a very beautiful friendship too. You can tell me what's bothering you and I won't tell a soul, you can truly trust me and I really want to help you."

"Derek, I, when we first met and first shook hands I felt an immediate connection with you too. I know that I can trust you and maybe I'll tell you everything someday but right now there's nothing you can do for me or I'd tell you, but thank you very much for your support and friendship."

"You're very welcome, Emily."

"I'm a very closed person. I have trouble letting people in. I have trust issues. For your safety, you should keep a certain distance."

"Let's just say that both of us will be a challenge for each other. But let's have a lot of fun along the way with this challenge. I know we'll work well together because we're doing so well working together so far. You fit in perfectly with this team, making this a perfect family here at work."

He smirked at her. She smiled back.

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

**Two days later.**

It was a Friday night and the whole team was entering the BAU after being gone the entire week working on their last case. They were all exhausted, but glad that the case ended well with no more victims and the bad guy out for the rest of his life. Penelope was welcoming them with a cupcake with a small candle in it, and her usual sweet smile on the face. The whole team, except Emily, instantly remembered why.

"Oh, it's tomorrow, right?"

He was putting his go-bag on his chair.

"Yes, JJ, it's tomorrow, and I'm traveling to see my Mom and sisters, It's been five or six months since I saw them, I can't even remember."

Emily also put her go-bag on her chair and looked at him.

"Is it your birthday?"

"Yes, it's tomorrow."

"How cool! On the same month as my…"

She realized she was about to say more than she intended, but corrected it on time.

"…as a person I know."

"We could do something now! We could go to a bar. Is everybody in?"

"Statistics show that when a woman ask something it's hard for a man to say no, especially if it is a for a Friday night event. Also…"

JJ cut him off. "Are you in or not, Spencer?"

"Yes. I'm in."

"Good, me too, Hotch?"

Hotch was climbing the stairs towards his office.

"I just need to call Haley and check in on Jack. His teeth are growing and he was having some fever, but yes, I'm in even if I only stay for half an hour."

"Rossi?"

"Well, only if we can have my Scotch served, my treat, of course."

"And you, Pen ? Do I even have to ask ?"

"Oh, JJ, as if we were talking about an ordinary event. We all have to be in! It's my Chocolate Thunder birthday! What about you, Raven Haired beauty? I hope you can make come. It'd be your first night out with us and you'd get to see how we party around here. Our Derek is getting older tomorrow! It's a real special day! We hope it's the day he starts to settle down and grow up."

Everyone was looking at Emily now, except for Hotch who was in his office already.

She was puting some documents in her drawer and thinking. Then, she looked at them, at Derek.

"I'm sorry, guys, I'm sorry, Derek. I can't go. I really need to go home."

Derek's disappointment could be seen on his face. The big smile he had had thinking of having Emily coming out with them outside of work had given place to a sad look in his eyes. Everybody noticed it.

"Why, Emily? This will be so much fun! …And not only because it's Derek's birthday. Our job is so hard. We always have a good time together to counterbalance the bad things we see. You never had a chance to experience this with us before and I promise you that you'll have a real good time."

"JJ, I, I'm really sorry. I really can't."

They gave up convincing her and scattered around. All of them had some paperwork to do before leaving so they all focused on it. Emily was the first to finish. She just wanted to go home to Anna.

She realized that Derek was in the hallway, going to the file room. She thought for a moment, and went after him.

Once there, she saw him leaning against a big cabinet, looking for something.

"Hey."

He glanced at her and turned his attention back to what he was doing.

"Derek, I'm so sorry. I really wanted to go. But I really can't."

"I totally understand, Emily." He didn't have a smile on his face.

She got closer to him.

"Can I… at least give you a hug?"

He stared at her.

"…For your birthday."

He wasn't expecting this. He stared at her again. As much as they didn't want it to, their physical connection was saying a lot more than they wanted to each other. But now, at this moment, they didn't break eye contact.

He closed the drawer between them, clearing the space for her to hug him. She took two steps and fell into his opened arms, hugging him.

Both knew it was a dangerous path. They both knew how much could be said and shared through a hug,

For her, Derek was like a bright light in her life, the peacemaker that could end her mental war, a chance to build a family. Someone that could hold her in her darkest moments, make her smile and make her find the fun in a simple walk through the park. She knew it. She knew since from the very first moment that he could be 'the one'.

For him, well, it was a territory totally new for him, but he also knew from day one. Remembering his mother's wisdom, saying he'd feel it in his heart when he found her, he'd recognize it instantly, he knew that she was 'the one'.

Derek's strong arms were holding her thin body. She could feel the warmth coming from his chest and his heart pounding fast. He could feel her cold hands on his backs.

No words were necessary now. Nothing would have had the strength to make their hearts understand each other better than this hug. For one minute only, she felt in the right place. She fit perfectly with him. His touch, his smell, everything. She could almost feel the blood running through her veins. She felt alive again.

Before it was too late, as if she still had a way of escaping from those feelings, she broke the hug. She could barely look at him. She knew he could 'read' her perfectly now. A little embarrassed, she said:

"So, Happy Birthday..."

He took her hands as if wanting to warm them with his and kissed them, still staring into her eyes.

"Thank you."

He followed her with his eyes until she walked out of the room. He stayed for a moment, reliving what had just happened while his heart calmed down.

**Hours later, in the bar.**

The team had been there for two hours already. But they had been working five days of in a row, so they were all completely exhausted.

They danced, drank, ate, and talk. Derek seemed really happy. She wasn't there, but, strangely, he could feel her presence. He could feel her presence in his life, in his heart.

"Derek, it's so good to see you having a great time here, even though I know you wished a certain someone were here. However, I can tell something happened. You have a certain glow in your eyes."

"Rossi, man, I'm happy because I'm surrounded by my very best friends, my second family so to speak. Why wouldn't I be happy?"

"My Chocolate Thunder, this is a truly a remarkable life changing birthday for you. I notice something very different about you, a very totally new you. It looks like a certain bug has hit you and you know what I'm talking about. You always denied that this would happen to you."

"Yes, Pen, he just learned that some kind of things we have no control about them, and we have no choice, it just happens."

"C'mon, JJ, Pen, let's just enjoy our night."

"If they are right, it looks like I have to be informed."

"There is nothing to inform, Hotch. There is nothing going on."

"Yes, but when it happens, I want to be the first one to know. I'm talking as the chief of the Unit."

"Hotch, until you? There is nothing happening, man."

"Statistics say that when you deny something so badly it's because it tends to be truth."

"Oh, pretty boy, statistics? Not now, please."

"Well, I'm really enjoying your companies, guys, but I have a 'one year old' at home and a beautiful wife waiting for me. This is what I wish for you, Derek, for your birthday! I hope next year you'll have a wife waiting for you at home and a baby just like me."

"He wants a woman in the field with him!"

Everybody laughed by Reid's last statement.

Even Hotch wasn't there anymore. They ended the night singing Happy Birthday to Derek:

"Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to Derek

Happy birthday to you

Are you one? Are you two? Are you three?"

"Stop, stop, stop! I'll take zillion years to reach my age!"

They all laughed.

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

At Emily's:

"Oh, my little Princess, Mommy was so worried about. Are you feeling better? I couldn't wait any longer to hold you, my sweetie."

The little girl hurried in reached out his little arms to her mother. Emily caught her and kissed her.

"Mary, thank you so much again. This week was so tough. I'll pay you for the extra hours of course"

"No problem, Emily. It's always a pleasure to stay with Anna. She's so adorable."

"Also, I'll be here for the whole weekend so I'll see you on Monday."

"Okay, if anything comes up, just gives me a call. I'll miss her."

Emily smiled.

"Okay, I will. Thank you."

Mary left. Emily locked the door and sat on the sofa with Anna facing her on her lap.

"Okay, sweetie, now it's just you and me for the whole weekend. What about us two spend these two days together all the time, huh? We can sleep together, do everything together. We can go to a park in the morning… we can go to the mall… we can do a lot of nice things together…"

Anna was ecstatic. She had no understanding of what her mother was saying, but she was so happy in Emily's arms, hearing her voice. She had missed her. The last case had kept Emily away far too long to her liking.

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

**Next day, Chicago.**

It was around eleven a.m. when Derek entered his mother's house. He went straight to the kitchen.

"Hmm, I could smell this from the airport. The smell of your food is always unmistakable, Mama!"

He kissed her on the cheek.

"She started preparing this special chicken and sauce yesterday night."

"Yes, when she knows her 'baby' is coming to town, she starts to cook everything that you like, Derek."

"Ahh, you two, don't be jealous, I'll always be Mama's favorite. By the way: hello to you two too." Derek kissed both of his sisters.

"I only came to visit because of mama and her cooking, not to be bullied by you two girls."

"Derek, you're telling me you only come because of my cooking?"

"That's just how special your cooking is, Mama, but no, of course, I miss my family very much so."

Fran and Derek's sisters were finishing preparing lunch and setting the table.

"How are things at work, Derek?"

"Oh, well, horrible as always. We've a new agent now, well, she's been with us for few months now."

One of his sisters teased.

"Mmm, she?!"

Ignoring it, his mother was really interested to know more about the new agent.

"Is she nice?"

"Yeah, yeah, she's pretty nice. She's cool."

"Is she beautiful?"

His sisters weren't quite willing to stop provoking him.

Derek rolled his eyes. He bit an asparagus Fran was preparing for the salad.

"No, she's not beautiful. She's gorgeous!"

It was a like a 'field day' for Derek's sisters who started teasing him even more.

"A-ha! Now we know why Derek can't stop smiling."

"You have to give us the details!"

"What's her name?"

"What does she look like?"

"We want the full explanation here, Derek."

"Too bad we didn't keep that bet!"

"Derek would be our slaves all the times he's in Chicago."

"The curiosity will kill you both so I won't say a word!"

They talked a lot and teased him a lot, and they had great time having lunch and spending the day together as a family.

From time to time, Derek talked about the new agent, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by Fran.

**Around midnight:**

Fran was going to the kitchen to get a glass of water. She could see the light on in Derek's bedroom, the door was ajar. She pushed it just a little and saw him reading a book.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure, Mom."

"Having a hard time sleeping?"

Derek closed the book and cleared a place for her mother to sit on the bed.

"Derek, I've never seen you like this before, a mother intuition knows. There is something going on, it's like you're wearing your heart on your sleeve for all of us to see. I can see a peaceful feeling on your face. Your eyes are twinkling. Is there something you want to share?"

Derek broke the eyes contact for a while. Fran touched his hands.

"Only if you want to share, Derek."

"Mom, so far, I have nothing concrete to say. I'm still trying to figure out what to do! This feeling took me by surprise, messing with all my life. There's something really special about her. She's everywhere, in my head, my dreams, my heart, I think about her all the time."

"Does she know?"

"I don't know, I mean, I haven't say anything, we're just friends. It's hard! She doesn't seem to be opened to any kind of relationship. But I'd marry her tomorrow if she wanted to!"

"Just tell her how you feel, Derek, but don't rush things. She might want to take things slowly and you said you two are friends right now and that's always a great base for a relationship. Be honest with yourself, be honest with her, and have hope. If she is really the one, things will fall into place, at the right time. I promise."

"I know she's the one for me Mama, I can feel it! We had an immediate connection the first time we met. I won't let her slip through my fingers without a fight."

"That's my boy."

She patted him on the face.

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

It was Sunday night already and Anna was peacefully sleeping upstairs in her crib. Emily was comfortably sitting on the sofa, shedding some tears over the emotional final scene of a movie she was watching on TV:

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you, he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs. And someday you will meet a wonderful guy, and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we're told, implores us to wait for it. What we're not taught is how to read the signs: How to distinguish the ones who want us from the ones who don't. The one's who'll stay from the one's who'll leave. And ultimately, we're not taught the one thing that could save ourselves, our friends, our families of the countless hours of confusion, despair, and speculation: That, sometimes, the happy ending...is just... moving on."

She was wiping the tears with her hands when her cell phone rang.

"Prentiss."

"Emily, hey, how are you doing?"

"I'm good. Is there a case?"

She was really worried since it was the first time Derek had called her during their days off.

"No, no, no cases."

"Oh, Thank God."

*Awkward moment of silence*

"So, what do you need?"

"I'm in your neighborhood and I, I was wondering if I could come over."

Of course she wasn't expecting this at all.

"Oh, Derek, actually, I was almost ready to bed."

Derek insisted because he knew how hard it was to have a moment at the BAU for personal talks. He was determined to open himself to her about his feelings.

"I'm parked in front of your building already. I won't be long."

She thought about it for a while. Since Anna was asleep she didn't see any harm in him coming over for a few minutes.

"Okay, Derek, you can come over."

She used the time it took Derek to get there to collect all of Anna's belongings and toys, and hide them in the bedroom. She then opened the door for him.

"Hey."

"Hey. I'm sorry to come over like that."

"Ah, no problem, Derek, come on in."

She showed him to the living room and took the remote control to turn the TV off.

"I was watching a movie."

"Oh, sorry, did I interrupt you? You can continue…"

"No, actually, it just ended."

She put the remote control on the coffee table.

*Moments of silence*

"Have a seat."

Derek sat on the sofa.

"Do you want to drink something? I don't have a bunch of options, but maybe water, coffee or tea? I can make a juice."

"Ah, no, Emily, thank you."

Well, he was here to do something.

"I just wanted to see you."

She blushed. "Ah."

She sat on the other sofa. She didn't know what to say or do. So she chose to ignore his statement.

"So, how was it at the bar, on Friday?"

"It was fun."

He took his cell phone and showed her some pictures of Friday night to her.

"We missed you there." He looked at her. "I missed you."

It was the second time in less than five minutes he had left her totally speechless. And Emily Prentiss wasn't the 'run out of words' type of girl. She always had an answer on the tip of her tongue, but not now. Well, she was the only one speechless, because little Anna had something to say.

The baby alarm was under some cushion on the sofa and Emily had totally forgotten about it.

Anna started crying and broke all the dense silence in the living room.

Emily, instantly, got up.

"Oh, Derek, I'm sorry, Excuse me."

She quickly climbed the stairs.

Derek got up, walking, thinking, trying to figure out what was going on. He took the cushion in his hands and saw the baby alarm. His first thought was that she, maybe, was babysitting, taking care of a baby for some friend.

But this thought quickly dissolved when he heard her through the baby alarm.

"Oh, sweetie, you woke up? Did you have a bad dream? No need to cry anymore, baby, Mommy is here. Shh, shh."

It was the sweetest thing Derek had heard in his life. He instantly realized he wanted this in his life. There were no words to describe how he felt right now. He was totally shocked and in a mix of doubts and happiness.

He was wondering if she was actually married. He began waiting for her husband to appear any time now. He didn't know what to think anymore. He was freaking out, walking around, nervous, until he saw Emily coming down the stairs with a baby in her arms.

He stopped walking totally paralyzed by the sweet scene. She approached him and looked at her baby.

"Hey, Princess, this is Derek. Say hi to Derek."

Derek was still holding his breath in total shock. Emily looked at him.

"This is Anna, she's my daughter."

**/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\**

**Hi guys! I want to clarify why Rossi is in the story. I know when Emily joined the BAU, it was Gideon and not Rossi that was there. But I think Gideon was never nice to Emily, so I don't like him. I prefer Rossi. So, in this story, I like to pretend that it was Rossi that was there already.**

**About the movie Emily was watching, I used a small part of the movie "He's not that into you", I just love this movie! I watched it like zillion times!**

**Also, I want to thank Lena, who is doing an excellent job in help me correcting my chapters and giving me excellent tips.**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a comment.**


	15. Chapter 15

**I OWN NOTHING**

**====================/====================**

His first thought was "What the hell?" But he figured this wouldn't be the way to go to get some information. Knowing Emily's private personality, the best approach was patience.

After the initial shock left him speechless for a minute or two, Derek finally snapped out of it.

"Emily, I, I don't get it. Why didn't you tell us?"

Walking to the kitchen, Emily was holding a tired and cranky Anna in her arms, thinking about an acceptable answer.

"Derek, never before have I shared personal stuff with people from work. I'm not used to be friends with my co-workers. At first I didn't knew you guys that well. And now I just hadn't found the right time. I just wanted to protect her."

"Protect her?" "From us?"

She was trying to handle both the milk and an impatient Anna in her arms.

"No, not from you guys, I mean…" Pause. "Oh, Derek, I really don't want to talk about this, especially not now."

"Fair enough." He was obviously disappointed. "Why don't I hold her while you prepare this."

Emily momentarily turned the attention from the milk to her baby. The only thing she wanted was for him to go away so she wouldn't have to explain, but she knew that wasn't fair.

"Do you want to go with Derek, sweetie?"

Derek motioned to try to hold Anna, but the little girl was determined to stay comfortably in her mother's arms. She started fussing.

"Oh, sweetie, you don't need to cry, baby, Derek is our friend." She looked at Derek. "I'm sorry, she isn't really used to strangers."

"Okay then, maybe I can prepare the most delicious milk ever, and perhaps she'll start to see me through different eyes." He had his typical Derek Morgan smile on his face.

Emily smiled.

"For sure, I want to see the prowess of Derek Morgan preparing a baby bottle!"

"Oh, don't doubt me! You're going to be astonished by my baby bottle making talents!"

Derek struggled a bit to get the bottle ready but finally succeeded.

"Here you go, baby girl!" Holding the bottle to Anna. "Or maybe I can drink it." He was pretending to drink it. The girl laid her head on Emily's shoulder smiling shyly.

"Oh! I can a see a smile! Did I see a smile? And cute dimples like your Mama?" He tickled her belly with his free hand.

It didn't take more than half an hour for Anna to warm up to Derek's presence. While Emily was giving her the bottle, Anna could see her mother being friendly with that man whom she'd never seen in her life.

Derek then easily won her over as they interacted.

"She really likes you. She hasn't met a lot of people before. I thought she'd be scared of you, but why am I surprised? Derek Morgan can charm every single female on this planet, regardless of their age."

"I'll take this as a compliment." He smiled and winked at Emily.

"Derek, it's getting really late for her. If she doesn't go to bed she'll be cranky all day tomorrow. So, I think you should get going."

Derek was sitting on the floor, on the carpet, with Anna and her toys. He quickly got up, with the little girl in his arms.

"Okay, yeah, you're right. It was really nice to meet this little one here that I didn't realize how late it's gotten."

"No problem." Emily reached out to take Anna. "Come to Mommy, Derek needs to go now."

He followed Emily to the door and before leaving turned all his attention to little Anna.

"Good bye, my sweet angel. You're my new favorite friend. I'd love to get to know you more and plan on seeing you more often. This is not a good bye. This is a 'see you again". Derek kissed the girl on the cheek.

"So, see you tomorrow."

"Okay, good night."

"Good night."

He was starting to leave when she called his name. "Derek."

He turned back around. "Yes?"

She was afraid that he was mad at her. This whole situation was awkward.

"I know you have questions, and I'm really thankful you didn't push for answers tonight. I owe you some. So what do you say we discuss this tomorrow, at lunch maybe?"

"Yeah, I'd really like that, Em."

She let out a relieve sigh. "Great."

She gave him a warm smile. "Oh, and I know it's a lot to ask but... Could this stay between us for now? Please?"

"Yes, Emily, this can stay between us, for now. But you know the team would love her if they knew she exists."

"Thank you. Goodnight, Derek."

"Night."

**====================/====================**

Not too long after this, Emily was putting Anna to bed. The girl was sleeping as soon as she was laid down.

Once back in her bedroom, she sat on the bed thinking. She couldn't deny that Derek was handsome and she that felt some kind of connection to him. He was strong, smart and sexy, with a badge and gun. Her type. She took a deep breath and let out a sigh as if she could get rid of those thoughts.

She smiled remembering how easily he got Anna's attention and how happy she was playing with him on the floor, but the smile quickly disappeared when she thought about how unfair the whole situation was to little Anna. She deserved to interact with more people than just her and Mary.

She decided she had to tell the team about her. Sooner rather than later. At least, that was the plan.

With her head on the pillow, she closed her eyes. From that day on, Ian Doyle wouldn't be the only man on her mind before sleeping.

**====================/====================**

**Next day, at the BAU.**

They were gathered in the meeting room, waiting for Hotch to join them to present their new case. They were talking about their weekend.

"I went to see a great Sci-Fi meditation film. The original science fiction novel by the Polish author Stanisław Lem is about the ultimate inadequacy of communication between humans and other species. Tarkovsky's adaptation is a "drama of grief and partial recovery" concentrated upon the thoughts and the consciences of the cosmonaut scientists studying Solaris' mysterious ocean. Tarkovsky wanted to bring a new emotional and intellectual depth to the genre, since he viewed western science fiction as shallow. The ideas Tarkovsky tried to express in this film are further developed in Stalker and…"

They all rolled their eyes.

Rossi cut him off. "Kiddo, kiddo, please, it's only Monday. Take it easy."

"Agh, Rossi man, thank you for this."

"I was interested in what he was saying."

"I didn't know you were Sci-Fi fan, JJ?"

"Well, Derek, let's just say I have interest in a bit of everything."

"That's definitely a smart girl." Derek blinked at her.

Emily was listening to them while reading the file about the case they would work on.

"What about you, Morgan? How was your weekend in Chicago?"

"You know, JJ, it's always good to see my family. It was really nice."

They were about to pick up their files about the case.

"I met girl."

Everybody looked at Derek, including Emily. Her first reaction was a pinch in her heart, inexplicable for the moment.

"It's the most beautiful and sweet girl I've ever met. She has incredible blue eyes and brown hair, cute dimples when she smiles, and she smiles a lot! She makes me smile."

By this time Emily knew he was talking about Anna.

"I spend no more than an hour in her company but it was enough to make me fall for her. She is a real babe!"

They were all stupefied by Morgan's words.

"I definitely want to see her again."

Emily could not help but smile. It was a contained smile, almost unnoticed. She was the only one there that knew who he was talking about.

"I didn't think I'd live to see Derek fall in love. I'm glad I did!"

Before the rest of the team could say something to complement Rossi's last statement, Hotch joined them.

"What do we have?"

**====================/====================**

The next few days were spent intensely working on a case in Oregon. They never got a chance to talk about Anna and their lunch had to wait.

One week later, the team flew back in the morning. It was the perfect opportunity for them to talk. Derek approached her desk.

"Maybe we can finally have that lunch, today?"

She stopped writing and looked at him. "Yeah, it sounds good." She was hesitant. She really wasn't ready to give him answers, she probably never would. "I just need to finish these papers here."

"Okay. I'm ready when you are."

She turned her attention back to her paperwork, but in vain. She couldn't focus anymore, so after a few minutes, she closed the file and approached his desk.

"We can go now." She wanted this done sooner rather than later.

They went to a restaurant not too far from Quantico making small talk and chose a table.

"The food here is really good. I think you'll like it."

She forced a smile while opening the menu. After they ordered, she didn't have any excuses left to hide herself behind the menu.

_("Come on, Emily, you've never ran from anything!") _She thought to herself.

She looked at him staring at her. "Derek, I don't really know what to say, I mean, when I first joined the BAU, like I said before, I didn't know you guys at all, so I chose to keep my personal life private."

"Yeah I get that. But you've been with us for six months now."

"Yeah, I know, Derek, but after all this time, it just felt weird to come and say, "hey, I have a daughter." "But I do plan on telling them."

"You don't have to if you don't want to, but Emily, we're a family, they'd love to meet Anna, especially Pen and JJ."

"I do want to tell them, and I'm going to. I'm just waiting for the right moment."

"Emily, doing this job, we spend more time in each other's company than with our blood family. We truly love and care about each other and this won't be different with you and Anna. I promise."

She bit her lips. "I know you're right, Derek. And I want Anna to be a part of that family. She deserves to have amazing people like you guys in her life. I'm sorry I haven't told you before. I'll let them know as soon as possible."

He smiled at her. The waiter brought the food. Emily thanked heaven. She was anxious to have to answer more questions. But Derek was still curious.

"So, were you married to her father? Or maybe you're still together?"

Emily almost choked on the food she was chewing.

By her reaction he realized it was a sensitive subject. If it bothered her it mean that it still mattered to her. Of course, he didn't like that. But he recognized he had pushed a bit too far. "Emily, I'm sorry, it's alright if you don't want to talk about him."

She wiped her lips with a napkin. "Derek, I was never married to her father. It was a relationship that ended in a bad way. That's all I want to say about him."

He still had some questions, but kept them to himself. He didn't want to ruin his relationship with her, no matter what said relationship was. He quickly redirected the conversation to something easier.

"Speaking of Anna, how's she?"

"Ah, she's great. She's starting to talk but of course she's not making a lot of sense! It's so adorable. I miss her so much when I'm away."

"You're doing just great, Emily. You know it's not how much time you spend with her that matter, but the quality of that time."

She let out a bitter smile. T

"Why this doesn't make me feel any better?"

This answer was never good enough for her.

Derek touched her hand on the table making her look at him. Her very first reaction was pulling her hand, but she stopped herself. They shared a tender look.

She slowly pulled her hand away.

"We better finish this lunch before Hotch comes looking for us."

She took her cutlery to finish eating. Derek observed her for a minute. He smiled.

"How are you eating this? Let me show you something."

He took the chicken thigh and started to eat it with his hands, and before long, he had his mouth greasy, smiling at her.

Emily laughed seeing this scene. "Derek, you better never do this in front my daughter. I already have trouble feeding her. She makes such a mess, and if you teach her to eat like this, trust me, you'll be the one cleaning her up."

**===========/=============**

**North Korea:**

Ian Doyle had been in jail for over a year now.

He was smart but one thing he was sure of was that Lauren Reynolds had died in a car accident. He had no clue she was very much alive and called Emily Prentiss and that he actually had a daughter with her.

He was lying on the bed of his cell, staring at the photo of Declan and Louise, dead, covered in blood. Tears of rage fell down his cheeks. They had given him those pictures to use them to torture him.

Emotional torture wasn't the only method they were using to gain information.

**===========/=============**

It was Wednesday morning. Emily was ready to go to work. She had gotten Anna ready for the day and given her a bottle.

It was 7:30 am. Mary usually always arrived before seven. Emily was starting to get worried when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Emily, it's me, Mary, I'm so sorry but I can't come to work today. Something happened to my father and I have to be with him, it's something with his heart. The doctors don't know yet. He's in the hospital."

"Oh, Mary, I'm so sorry. I... if you need anything, call me, please."

"Thank you, Emily, and I apologize again for letting you down at the last minute."

"It's alright. I can handle it. Let me know if you need something."

"I will. Thank you."

They hung up.

Actually it wasn't 'all good'. Emily had no idea where or with whom she would leave Anna so she could go to work. Her first thought was the Ambassador, but she was out of the country, again. She could leave Anna with her mother's employees, but she quickly disregarded the idea remembering about her own childhood and how awful it was to be stuck with them.

She was supposed to leave for work now. She decided to try and call some potential babysitters she knew. In the midst of all her outgoing calls, she missed a few calls from the team, who was getting worried about her not showing up.

At that point she was already late. Well, her daughter was her priority. So, she decided to ask Hotch for a day off.

She put Anna in her playpen and phoned him.

"Hotchner."

"Hotch, it's me, I'm sorry I missed your calls, I have a family emergency. I really need the day off."

"Prentiss, we all tried to call you!" He was annoyed. "You could have at least warned us that you were late. And no, you can't have the day off, we have a case, it's local but we're really going to need you linguistic skills. You'll have to find a solution to your emergency."

"But Hotch I..."

He cut her off. "Conference room in 30."

She was speechless. She had not expected this.

Well, he wanted her at the BAU, so at the BAU she was going to be. Good thing he hadn't specify that she had to come alone.

"Let's go, Love. Looks like you're finally going to meet the team."

**===========/=============**

It was way past 8 am and the BAU team along with Garcia was gathered in the meeting room for the briefing. They couldn't wait for Emily any longer.

JJ had finished presenting the case and they were talking about it when they all heard a few steps approaching and the sweet sound of a baby babbling.

Emily walked into the room and she wasn't alone.

**===========/=============**

**Thank you, Lena for the amazing corrections and tips.**

**Thank you all for reading and please, leave a comment. Any ideas for Demily start a romance?**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey Guys, I'm really, really sorry for the delay in updating. It's because as you all know I have a new beta and she was kind of super busy lately. I promise by the end of the week I'll publish another chapter with demily moments, okay?**

**Thank you all so much for all the reviews and comments and for reading.**

**I OWN NOTHING. **

**====== / ======**

Emily stepped into the meeting room with Anna in her arms. Everybody stared at them making the little girl a bit shy in front of so many strangers.

JJ and Penelope were the first ones to approach them.

"Emily, who is this sweet little angel ?"

Anna was staring at Penelope. "Guys, meet Anna, my daughter."

"Daughter?!"

"I know, I'm sorry I kept her from you guys, I'll explain, I promise."

"You better explain yourself, young lady! You should be arrested for keeping this treasure from us! This should be a crime!"

Penelope was trying to make Anna smile while everyone got closer to them.

"Emily, she's adorable."

"Thanks, JJ."

"Can I hold her? Come to aunty Pen?"

Penelope reached out her hands to Anna, but the little girl was scared. She grabbed onto Emily's neck.

"Sorry, she's not used to strangers."

"Emily, congratulations ! It's great to have another BAU baby. Looks like Jack isn't the only one anymore."

"Thanks, Rossi."

"So this little cutie is the reason you could never hang out with us after work. Or maybe you still have another male reason at home ?" Reid inquired as JJ nudged him with her elbow.

"It's okay, JJ, and no, Reid, I don't have another reason at home. She's the only one."

Before Hotch could say something, Emily approached him.

"That's why, Hotch, I asked you for a day off. Her nanny couldn't come to work today. I tried a few other options but nothing worked so I had to bring her in."

"I had no idea, Emily. I never imagined you had… a daughter! Wow" I'm sorry but we really need you on this case."

Meanwhile, Penelope was trying to convince Anna to go with her, but the little girl didn't seem willing to leave her mother's safe embrace.

"Okay, okay, guys, you all should know that it takes a "Derek Morgan smile" to gain attention from a special and adorable baby like that."

And he was able to make Anna smile at him. It was a shy smile, still lying on her mother's shoulder. "You see guys, she's smiling at me."

Derek tickled her belly, making her smile even more. It was probably because she knew Derek already. But no one knew about that.

"You think you can make it, I mean, for this case ? We need your language expertise. You can stay here at the BAU at all time."

"Well, if her staying here too isn't a problem, then yes."

"Good. Let's get to work."

"I just need someone to pick up her stroller in the car."

"I can do it."

"Thanks, Derek."

The team went to the local police station in charge of the case while Penelope, Anna and Emily stayed in Quantico.

It didn't take long for Anna to be totally comfortable in Penelope's presence and she didn't even cry when Emily had to leave the 'lair' for a moment. The little girl was very well behaved in her stroller.

**====== / ======**

_**A few hours later.**_

"So little baby, those blue eyes must be from your Daddy huh?" She looked at Emily when asking this, indicating that the question was for her.

Emily was working on some translation related to the case. She stopped to look at Garcia.

"Pen, yes, it's from her father but it's all I have to say about him. Please don't ask me anything about it."

For someone like Penelope, Emily's answer was kind of harsh.

"Pen, I'm sorry, it's just that… I really can't talk about him. He doesn't even know about her. It's just the two of us."

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, Emily. But you kept her from us, which was your right, but your whole life seems to be a mystery, which is also your right, but we're your friends. We want you and Anna to be a part of our family and it's sad if you don't want to."

"I want to, Pen, I really do. I totally trust you guys. I just didn't know you all that well at first."

"Okay, I get it." She stayed silent for a few seconds. "By the way, I want to be the first babysitter you call when you need to go out."

"I appreciate it, Pen, but I rarely go out without her unless it's for work. I don't think I ever did! But I'll keep that in mind."

"My guts tells me that this might change soon." Emily looked at her confused. "And my guts never fail me."

At that moment, Derek called Penelope for something related to the case and they talked for a bit about it while she was searching on her computer.

"Okay, baby girl, thank you again you're the best."

"I certainly am." She smiled.

"Hey, baby girl, how's our other baby girl doing?"

Seeing Emily's reaction, Penelope couldn't let it pass. "Mother or Daughter?"

Derek was referring to Anna, but now he was kind of confused. "Both."

"They're in good hands!"

"I don't doubt that, baby girl." They hung up.

Every time her work allowed it, Penelope stopped to play a little with Anna. The little girl was very comfortably seated on Penelope's lap, wanting to type something on the keyboard.

"Hey, hey, sweetie angel, you can pluck out my hair, but you can't touch this okay? By touching any keys here you might turn on some missiles and we don't want to start a World War, do we?

Anna babbled some unintelligible sounds.

"Yeah, that's right. We can go to my place and make a real mess there."

Emily smiled. She was happy seeing how good Penelope was dealing with Anna and especially how she was making her laugh.

**====== / ======**

**At the end of that day.**

The whole team was back at the BAU after having worked on the case the whole day.

"Prentiss, thank you so much for staying here with Anna. I think you can go home now."

"Not a problem, Hotch."

Anna was very comfortable with all of them now, Penelope, Reid, Rossi, JJ, especially with Morgan.

"We're going to continue working on this case tomorrow but if you have trouble with the nanny again, you can stay home and we'll call if we need something."

"Okay, Hotch. Thank you. I think tomorrow she'll come. Well, I'm going home, then. I think this little one here has never spent so many time away from home."

She took Anna from JJ's arms.

"I'll help you with the stroller."

"Thanks, Derek. I really appreciate this."

Everybody kissed and played with little Anna before Emily and Derek went to the elevator.

**=====/=====**

**In the BAU parking lot.**

Derek folded the stroller and put it in the trunk of Emily's car

"Alright. You, little Princess, time to say good-bye to Uncle Derek here, welcome to our BAU family. You really brought a lot of happiness to all of us today, I'm going to miss you, and I hope to see you again soon."

Anna reached out her little arms to him. Derek more than quickly held her in his arms, kissing her on the cheek.

"Good night, little Princess."

He looked at Emily.

"It was a good decision for you to bring her here to meet the team."

"Hotch didn't leave me any other option. But I'm glad they finally know about her."

"She seemed to be very comfortable with us."

Emily let out a sign of relief. "Yeah." She said nothing more, indicating that she wanted to go home. Derek's presence was giving her some feelings that she didn't want to analyze now, especially when it was just the two of them.

"Anything you need, you can call me."

"Thanks, Derek. I really need to go now."

She took Anna from Derek's arms and put her in the baby seat in the back of the car and closed the door. Before she could enter the car, she heard him.

"Emily."

She looked at him.

He seemed to have given up on what he was going to say, changing it to a simple: "Drive safely."

She forced a smile. "I will."

**==== / ====**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a comment.**


	17. Chapter 17

**I OWN NOTHING**

**===== / =====**

"_Of all women who have kissed me, of all the women who have hugged me, I don't remember, I know nothing about them… There were so many women in love with me. There were so many women I've been with… But you, what a huge contrast, you, who I never kissed, you, who I've never been with, only you, are in my thoughts."___Derek couldn't help but stop to think about Emily after having read this poem in the book he was reading.

_**Emily's Appartment**_

"Hello?"

"Are you ready to go?"

"No, I still need half an hour or so."

"Okay, I'm coming up, then."

"A… you're here?"

"Parked in front of your building."

"Derek, you didn't have to."

"I'm already here."

She sighed. "Okay."

Anna was now 1 year and 6 months old. Emily opened the door for him to enter and Anna ran to greet him.

"Ohhhh my little Princess, look at you, you're the cutest baby in the world."

He took the happy baby in his arms, playing with her. Anna was getting too attached to him, and someone was getting really worried about it.

"Derek, since you came up, could you help me with the stroller ? I'll take care of her."

"Sure."

They were getting out of the building when she remembered something.

"Oh, Derek, we can't take your car. I need a baby car seat."

"Don't you think I planned everything?"

As much as she was touched by this, she was also even more worried.

Derek opened the back door of his SUV and there was a baby car seat. He took Anna from Emily's arms and put the girl inside the car, securing the seatbelt.

"Please, don't tell me you bought this especially for her?"

He closed the door of the car and looked at her.

"Yes, I did."

They shared a look, and Derek didn't make any point in hiding anything. Emily was too confused to talk about this now, so it became an other addition to the list of things they would have to talk about at some point.

**===== / =====**

_**At JJ's house**_

"My gold haired angel! JJ, look at this. Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

"Yup..."

"Ooooh, my head is spinning. I'm going to start planning this wedding right now. We have to make a huge party, with a lot of people. I can see her wearing a beautiful dress with a big veil and a flower wreath, and my Chocolate God in a perfect suit. He's so handsome I might marry him myself…"

Penelope was getting too excited just seeing Emily and Derek arriving together with little Anna in her stroller.

"Pen, Pen, shh… life isn't as colorful as you think."

The trio finally approached the two blondes.

"JJ, happy birthday! This is for you."

"Thank you, Emily! You didn't have to."

"I hope you like it."

It was JJ's birthday and all the team was at her house for a small celebration. It was the perfect opportunity for little Anna to meet Jack who was almost the same age.

The friendship among the BAU women was getting stronger over the time. While they were talking, Derek was playing with Anna and Jack in the beautiful garden.

"So, do you still talk to her father? Is he from here?"

Emily looked at Pen and then at JJ. "No, JJ, he doesn't know about her, and I'd prefer not to talk about this."

"Okay, well, we're here if you ever want to share."

Emily felt so uncomfortable. "JJ, it's complicate for me to talk about him. I did love him, but it's in the past and things didn't end well between us. He doesn't live in America. It's best for us to keep things like they are now."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

Thankfully, Penelope always knew how to ease a situation. "Speaking of men, that one right there definitely is my type of man… strong, athletic, charming, and courageous. And with a perfect body."

Emily knew about the flirting between Garcia and Morgan but she hadn't realize that they were in a relationship. "You and him ? You're … I didn't…"

"Breathe, Emily, Penelope's type is exactly the opposite of Derek. She likes them with glasses, computer technical genius skills like her, and only speaking java computer languages. They flirt but it's all harmless brotherly and sisterly flirting."

"What about you, JJ? …And that detective? LaMontagne, right?"

"Yeah. We've been talking but both of our schedules keep us busy all the time, and the fact that we live so far away from each other doesn't help."

"Yeah, it must be hard."

"Oh, you two are so dramatic and keep making excuses to not fall in love. I'm dying to organize a wedding party! I only hope you two don't choose the same month to get married because I want to prepare a big party for both of you and separately!"

Emily and JJ shared a look and laughed.

They were talking when Anna started crying. Emily freaked out for a second, but before she could approach Anna she saw that Derek was already taking care of her.

"Shh, shh… you're okay, little Princess."

"What happened, Derek?"

"She fell. You know kids at this age, they fall a lot, Emily, don't worry, this was nothing. She fell on the grass. It was mostly the shock. You see, she already stopped crying."

Anna was in Derek's arms, her head lying on his shoulder, while he was caressing her on the back. She seemed so comfortable with him that Emily quit the impulse to take her from him.

"Do you want to go with Derek to see the beautiful aquarium JJ has inside in the living room?"

The little girl nodded enthusiastically despite her teary eyes.

Emily observed them walking away. She couldn't help but think of how he'd be the perfect father for her. Could fate be so kind to her after all she went through? No, she was Emily Prentiss! Life has never been that easy.

====== / ======

_**Weeks later**_

The team was working on a case away from Quantico. They normally didn't have much time for themselves but since they had been working days and nights in a row, they had a break for the night to rest in the hotel. Emily and JJ were sharing a room, just like Rossi and Hotch, and Reid and Morgan.

Since they were in Vegas, Reid went to spend the night with his mother, leaving Morgan alone in his room. He was on his bed when he heard someone knocking on the door.

He went to open, not really surprised by the person on the other side "Hey."

"Hey. Can I come in?"

"Sure"

He closed the door after behind her.

"Derek, I'm going to go straight to the point. This has to stop. We can be friends but nothing more. I can't have any kind of relationship with any man. I don't want this. The only thing I want is to take care of my baby and dedicate myself to her and to my work which take a lot of my time already. I need things to be clear here. Please, you have to stop making every single one of your actions look like you want to marry me because it can't happen. I'm talking not only for me and Anna but for you too. Trust me, I'm not a safe place for you. I love seeing you and Anna worships you but this is going too far. I do feel something strong for you and how could I not? You're wonderful person, you're sweet, strong and everything that any woman could dream. And my little girl adores you as much as I do. I know you care about us too but this cannot go any further. So it's best we just be friends only, please try to understand. For both of our sanities, this has to stop."

"Do I have any choice in what I want for my future, or who I want in it?"

"You do, as long as they want you too and they're the right choice."

"Again, who gets to decide this?"

"Derek, don't make things more complicated than they have to be. I don't want to tie you down and see you have resentment towards us for holding you back from your freedom. It would hurt my baby girl and I can't take the risk of her getting hurt."

"Okay, you came in here and said everything you wanted to. Now, it's my turn. You saying I'll be resentmentful towards you for holding me back is all bullshit because the only resentment I have right now is with you throwing away something potentially beautiful between us. You said you're worried about Anna being hurt by me, how about you hurting Anna by denying her what we can have? I really like her and I'd love her like my own and I know Anna could feel the same way about me. You're just throwing away our potential happiness by telling me to stop this. But I'll respect your decision."

"I'm sorry, Derek. It has to be this way."

He opened the door for her to get out.

**======== / ========**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a comment!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Guys, this chapter must have errors, my Beta has been really busy lately. Sorry. I tried my best.**

**I OWN NOTHING**

**========== / ==========**

For the next two months, Emily worked even harder in fortify the walls she had built. She was living in a deep and mighty mental fortress. Keeping herself safe from everything that could cause pain. And she knew just how much relationships could cause pain.

She forced herself to not think or talk about love, and to always keep in mind that had she never been in love, she'd never have cried. She focused on work, and Anna, and jumped into books when she found herself lonely hiding in her bedroom.

During these two months Derek had only talked to her about work when he had no other choice. Everyone at the BAU had to get used to this new Morgan, introspective, and thoughtful. But this wasn't him at all.

It was a rainy Saturday night and he was driving around randomly. Thinking about how harsh he had been treating Emily since she had kind of dumped him, so he decided to call her at home. Not that he still had some kind of hope but to really give her what she wanted: a friend and nothing more.

He tried two times and nothing. It was around ten at night, so he got worried since he knew it'd take a very good reason for her to be outside home, at night, in the rain and the cold temperature with a baby.

He decided to call her cell phone. A choked voice answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Emily, what's wrong?"

"It's Anna. We're in the hospital."

"What!? What happened?"

"I don't know. She had a fever and was vomiting. They're checking her out."

"Which hospital are you at?"

He went to the Hospital and found Emily in a room. Anna was lying in a crib, sleeping. Emily was caressing her on the head. He approached her. "How is she?"

"They gave her some medicines to cut the fever and the vomiting, that's why she's sleeping. But I have to wait for the results." She was obviously fighting back tears.

"Maybe it's something she ate, Emily."

"I called Mary and asked if they ate anything out of the ordinary but nothing."

"Just don't worry too much now, I know it's hard, but let's try to stay positive, and wait for the results."

He could see that these words didn't make her feel any better. He then took her hand, and squeezed it.

She couldn't take her eyes off of Anna. Derek could see a tear rolling down her cheek. He wiped it off gently. The doctor chose that moment to enter the room. Even before he could say something, Emily asked. "What does she have?"

"You did the right thing in bringing her tonight. Otherwise this could have turned into a pneumonia. She has a bad case of the flu. I'll prescript her some antibiotics. She needs plenty of rest. She'll be okay in two or three days."

Emily felt like all the weight in the world had left her shoulders.

"Oh, God, thank you."

Not long after this, they were in the hospital's parking lot. Derek brought Emily's car in front of the door so she didn't have to walk in the rain and cold with Anna in her arms.

He opened the back door and put Anna in the baby seat.

"Derek I have no words to thank you enough."

"Not so soon, Emily. I'll drive you home."

"Oh, Derek… but… your car is here."

"No worries. You can go in the back seat with her just in case she wakes up and stuff. I'll drive you."

==== / ====

Once home, Emily put Anna in her crib. The little girl was peacefully sleeping as they had given her strong medicines. Emily took the baby alarm and went downstairs.

"Derek, thank you again. I really was feeling so lonely and scared and you… you were a very good friend tonight. I mean, it's Saturday night and you're here in this… not so nice situation…"

He cut her off. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll spend the night right here." He pointed to the couch. "Just in case you need something... I hope not, but just to make sure everything will be okay."

"Derek…"

"I just need some blankets if you don't want to turn me into a popsicle."

"You don't have to…."

"There's no place in the world I'd rather be, Emily."

She bite her lips, typical.

Five minutes later she was bringing him a blanket. He was already sitting on the couch taking off his shoes.

"Here you go. If you need to, you can use that washroom…"

"I already did."

She was about to break down anytime and of course Derek realized it. "Come here."

He patted the couch next to him. She hesitated a little. He took her cold hands and kissed them. Then, he took her into a big hug.

"It's totally okay to cry sometimes, Emily. I'm sure she'll be okay. I'll be here all the way. You're not alone and you'll never be. I promise."

A little comforted by his words, she knew that things weren't that simple. She wished Lauren Reynolds was someone else, or that by some kind of magic or miracle she could just delete this period of her life because it was all still haunting her every single night when she put her head on the pillow.

Not to mention that the most precious thing she had in her life was also the main thing connecting her with her past. But today wasn't the day Derek would learn about this, and if it was up to her, he never would.

Without breaking the hug, he started to caress her hair, and talk about funny things to make her smile a little and relax.

A few hours later, the sun was already rising, and Emily started to move. She woke up and quickly realized she was on Derek's arms, still on the couch. She pulled away from him a little. "Derek, oh God, I'm sorry, I-I just… I fell asleep, I'm sorry."

She got up from the couch and stepped far from him. He also got up, but approaching her again.

"Emily, there's nothing wrong with this."

He eased his hand against her cheek. More than anything in his entire life, he wanted to kiss her. He knew this kiss could mean a milestone in his life and he was more than ready for this. He was hovering above that line now, a few inches from her face, her mouth, sharing the same air, conversing only through their eyes. The hesitation was there from both sides but it quickly evaporated when he put his lips on hers.

And just like the Chinese Proverb said, "Kissing is like drinking salted water. You drink, and your thirst increases", the touch of their lips became a deep, wet and long kiss. But, she was Emily Prentiss and she couldn't allow herself to just enjoy the moment. So she broke the kiss.

"Derek, we can't do this!" She pulled away from him.

"Why?" The disappointment evident on his face.

"Things are going too fast and I have more than myself to think about, there's Anna. I can't focus on anything else at this time but her. Plus, we work together as partners and if we mess things up it could end up disastrously for both of us."

"Emily, I-I really like you."

She cut him off.

"Derek, please, I-I need you to leave. I need to process all of this. Thank you so much for yesterday. Thank you for your time and for being with us, for your support. You've been a very good friend, but I need to be alone right now. I need to check on Anna. I need to think. Alone. I'm sorry."

It was obvious to Derek that she was freaking out over of the kiss. She just needed some space to think. He could give her that much.

He let out a heavy sigh. "Okay."

He sat on the couch to put on his shoes, fixed his shirt, and put on his jacket. She was standing, arms crossed, impatiently waiting, biting her lips.

He followed her to the door. She opened it. Before he could leave he looked at her. "Bye"

"Bye, Derek." She could barely look at him.

She locked the door and leaned against it thinking about the kiss. It was then that she remembered Derek didn't have his car. It was a bit early in the Sunday morning to get a cab easily on the streets. She wanted to offer him her car but it was too late. When she opened the door he wasn't there anymore.

**========== / ==========**

"**_The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender._"- Emil Ludwig**

**Thanks for reading.**


	19. Chapter 19

**I OWN NOTHING**

**========= / =========**

_**Monday morning, at the BAU.**_

JJ had presented a new case, and the team was talking about it, when Emily entered the meeting room. She was late.

"I'm sorry."

"Half-day today?"

"Alarm, sir. I overslept. I'm sorry."

"Everyone's allowed to be late, once."

"I can't say it won't happen again, but I'll try."

Only Derek knew about the tough weekend she'd had with Anna being ill. They shared a quick look. The team continued talking about the case. Derek waited for an opportunity to talk to her before they left.

"How's Anna doing?"

"She's a little better. Thank you."

She didn't even look at him walking away towards her desk.

====== / ======

After landing in Miami, they went straight to meet the Local PD. Derek was the first to say something to the female detective that came to welcome them

"Is it always this hot?"

"Every day, all day. That's south beach."

"That's not what he's talking about."

Morgan wanted to kill Reid for having opened his mouth, especially in front of Emily. But well, Morgan's reputation of being a player wasn't Reid's fault at all.

The woman reached her hand to Morgan. "Detective Lopez, Miami PD…"

"Oh, um, Morgan….. Derek."

"Tina. So, thank you for coming down so quickly."

JJ offered her hand to the woman. "Agent Jareau, JJ, we spoke on the phone, these are agents Hotchner, Prentiss, Rossi, Derek, and Dr. Reid."

"Well, I hope there's no test because I'm lousy with names."

"Agent will be fine."

She was the lead detective on the case, she was there to work, but it was obvious Morgan's smile had an instantly effect on her. And of course it was evident for everyone there, including Emily.

Hours later, in the middle of the investigation, Detective Lopez joined Rossi and Emily who were profiling the belongings of the last victim to conclude the victimology. "This is everything we recovered from Paul Hayes' hotel room. It's all been processed, so don't worry about touching anything."

"Thank you."

"I'm going to take the 'skinny kid' and Derek to the dump sites. So I got my cell, radio, if anyone doesn't give you anything, just call me."

"Great."

After she'd left, Rossi teased. "She did say she wasn't good at names."

"She remembered 'Derek's'. Emily pointed without looking at Rossi.

"I wonder how she'll describe us."

"Oh, I am sure I don't want to know."

**====== / ======**

The next day, Derek and detective Lopez had just trapped the UNSUB in a dangerous action when the rest of team joined them

"You couldn't wait, Morgan?"

"This one's on me, Hotch."

Hotch glanced at Morgan, and went back to the SUV along with Rossi and Emily. But Emily was walking slowly to hear detective Lopez and Morgan talking.

"You like it here, huh, South Beach?"

"What's not to like? I mean, if I'm not on duty, of course."

"Anytime you're free, I can introduce you to the real south beach, stuff we locals like to keep to ourselves."

"You think you can show me a good time, huh?"

"You'd like Mojitos, Cuban food, Brazilian jazz."

"That's not bad."

"Come on down, Papi. I'll take good care of you."

The woman winked at him and walked away. Derek then went to the SUV with the others. Hotch was driving, Rossi was on the passenger seat and Morgan and Prentiss were on the backseat. Hotch and Rossi were talking, while silence reigned in the backseat.

At the airport, they were all walking towards the jet. "I'm going to miss this hot weather. I really like it."

Morgan didn't get any answers from JJ, Rossi, Hotch, or Reid. Emily, however, slowed down the steps, waiting for all the others to get in the plane.

"I can see, Derek, that you like Miami because of the hot weather and the hot 'other things' here as well." It was obvious she was referring to the hot female detective.

Walking by her, without any smile, he glanced at her. "Too bad I prefer the cold and stubborn ones".

Emily wouldn't let it pass. In the jet, she sat near him, far from the others. "Derek, listen, it's not that I'm a cold person. I can be stubborn, strong minded, yes, but not cold."

He was waiting her to say something else that just didn't come.

"You act like that kiss meant nothing to you when it's the only thing I can think about. What do you want me to do?"

She thought for a while before answering. "It meant a lot to me too, Derek. So much that I'm scared. We can't reach a point of no turning back. You understand?"

"Well, to me, we've already crossed that point."

He stared at her but as she said nothing he put on the earphones again and looked outside the window.

**====== / ======**

It was a Friday, and Hotch had given them the afternoon and all the weekend off since they had been working for weeks in a row. Hotch was in his office while Morgan was finishing some papers. Strangely, Emily was still there while she usually was always the first one to leave because of Anna.

Morgan was at his desk finishing some work when she approached him. She had her purse and her go bag, ready to go home.

"So, have a good weekend."

"You too, Emily." He didn't even look at her.

For a person who was always smiling to everyone, this had been kind of harsh, but she knew the reason.

"Derek, enough, will it be always like that?"

He stopped writing and dropped the pen to look at her. "Like what?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"We're good, Emily, don't worry. I'm only giving what you want."

"I asked you for us to be friends only, because that'd the best for us, but you're treating the coffee machine better than me, and I know that's not you at all."

Derek got up. "Well, that's not true at all, but at least the coffee machine is satisfying my wants and needs."

She couldn't help but smile. "You see, I miss this smile, I miss your jokes. I miss the real Derek."

"Okay, so, let's make a deal. I can come back to who I was before, with one condition."

"What?"

"Have dinner with me tonight?"

It was all that she wanted. Her entire being was: Oh God, yes! But she was the stubborn Emily Prentiss. "Oh, Derek, you know, I have Anna."

"I know you do, Emily, but we have the whole weekend free, so you can stay with her. Plus, Hotch also gave us the afternoon, you can go home now and stay with her and I'll pick you up at 8pm. We won't be long. I promise."

She bite her lips, typical.

"Please." He insisted holding back a smile.

She, then, smiled. "Okay, but only if you get there exactly at 8, in a white limo, a tuxedo and with French champagne..."

"Yeah, well, I could do this, yes, if I wasn't pretty sure you, the badass Emily Prentiss, would prefer Derek Morgan's style of dressing, my powerful Black Escalade SUV and some red wine."

She smiled in defeat, he had profiled her correctly.

"Oh, and the good old rock and roll on the radio..."

"Okay, let me leave before I regret this. See you at 8, Derek."

**======== / ========**

Still in her white bathrobe after having dried her hair, she was in her closet looking for a nice dress. Considering that lately she had been wearing a lot of suits, she didn't have many choices. She opted for a black basic dress, knee length, with a nice scarf, and high heel sandals.

She was trying to pretend she was only going out with a dear friend and nothing more and that it was impossible for anything to happen between them. She was also trying not to think about her love life and the scars her last relationship had left on her.

She finished putting on her perfume and earrings. Anna was there with her all the time. The little girl was almost two now, she was trying to speak new words all the time. Emily was ready to go so she focused her attention on her daughter.

She sat on her bed and took Anna to seat on her lap, facing her. "Is Mommy pretty, sweetie?"

"_Mommy pitie_."

"Oh, thank you!" Emily kissed the girl on the head. "Look, sweetie, I promise to be back soon, okay. It'll be only a few hours. Hmm, I'm going to miss you so much."

She was talking to Anna, when the door bell rang.

"It must be Derek, let's go to see Derek? Do you want to see Derek?"

"_D-Dewek…"_

Emily smiled her daughter trying to say Derek. "That was a nice try, sweetie."

Emily went downstairs with Anna. She put Anna on the floor who ran to Derek. He took few seconds to notice the little girl at his feet wanting some attention as he was paralyzed by how gorgeous Emily looked. He could swear she was blushing under his glance. He then turned all his attention to Anna.

"Now, who is this big lady here?" He took Anna in his arms. "I don't recognize you, you're such a big girl now. How did you grow so much in just few weeks? I miss seeing you!"

"_Dewek miss me_"

"So cute… she's saying my name!" He was really touched.

Emily smiled at them. "So, let's go."

"I promise next time we'll take you out too, okay?" Derek kissed the little girl on the cheek.

"Come to Mommy, give me a big hug. Mary will take care of you, okay. I'll be back soon, sweetie."

Anna stayed with Mary while Emily and Derek went to the elevator.

"It feels weird for me to leave her."

"It's only for a few hours. She'll be okay."

"I know but, I never left her unless it's for work."

"I know, it must be hard and I don't blame you. Anna is so adorable. I could spend the rest of my life with her." Well, there were implicit things behind this sentence. They shared a look.

He opened the door of the car for her.

"Thank you." She smiled.

Derek put on a nice music and they were talking about the BAU and random subjects, until they got to the restaurant.

It was a cozy restaurant. They chose a nice table, near the windows so they could see the view. They ordered food and red wine and talked about their life.

"…and also there was a time that all my cousins and I were at my grandmother's playing in the backyard. My grandfather was kind of rough and bad tempered. Anyways, we were having a competition to see if we could cross the whole backyard carrying a huge watermelon in our arms. We were like around ten years old, and one of my cousins wanted to show himself off and he placed the watermelon on his shoulders! And I don't even need to say what happened, right?"

Emily was paying attention to all Derek's stories. She was so involved by all things about his life and him. "Tell me." She smiled.

"It shattered into a thousand pieces on the floor!" Derek was laughing.

Emily was also laughing but more because she was so infected by his smile than by the story itself.

"And the coolest thing, Em, is that our grandfather wanted to punish the person who did this and we all protected our cousin."

"Oh, Derek, how sweet."

"Yeah, we really had good times in our childhood."

Both drank a bit of the wine.

"What about you, Em, tell me about your childhood."

"Well, Derek, my childhood hasn't much to report in terms of having so much fun and memorable things like you. Being the daughter of a very important political figure, I had everything I needed, everything that money could buy, but yet I was so poor. In comparison you had the richest life possible growing up Derek. I don't want to sound ungrateful to my mother. I know she was away the majority of my life working hard but I just wanted to spend time with her. I hardly ever saw her. That's why I'm doing my best with Anna so she never had to go through what I went through my entire childhood."

"You're a great mother, Em."

"I try, Derek. She's everything to me."

"You're doing such a great job being a mother and a father to her at the same time."

Emily cut the eye contact, drinking a bit more of her wine. But Derek was a little too curious to give up. He really needed to know if Anna's father was really part of a past that was totally dead and buried.

"Speaking of her father, how does he feel about Anna? I was wondering, do you still think about him? Does he fit in Anna's present and future, somehow?"

"Derek, I already told you, I don't want to talk about him."

"Why is it so difficult?"

"Because this is something I want to forget, this is something I want to pretend I didn't live."

"But you did. You cannot pretend it didn't happen. Anna is there to prove it. It bothers you to talk about him, I get it, but why? Do you still feel something for him?"

"I don't. He doesn't know about Anna and every time someone asks about him is like I'm bringing him into her life, into our life again and I don't want this."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"And no, there is no place for him in our lives."

"And for someone else?" Derek was referring to himself, of course and Emily knew it.

They shared a look that she quickly cut. "Derek…" She bite her lips not knowing what to say.

"Emily, I can't help how I feel about you. I really think we should give us a chance. I know you won't take any risks of hurting Anna in the process but I promise you it won't happen. Even if things don't work well between us, I really want to always be part of her life, if not as a father, as a good friend. I'll always be there for both of you. I want us three to be a family. I really think we can try. I don't want to fight this feeling anymore, Emily. But I won't pressure you to do anything. I just wanted to let you know how I feel about you."

"Just give me some time to think. This is really going too fast."

"Take all the time you want…"

"Derek, it's late already. I think we should get going."

"Sure…"

The waiter brought the bill. Emily offered to split it, but Derek refused.

"My treat this time, Princess. You pay me the lunch for a whole week at the BAU and we'll be even."

He smiled and winked at her while giving his credit card to the waiter. They were getting out of the restaurant when they saw a guy wanting to make some extra money selling rosebuds.

"Sir, if I had the luck of being with a such gorgeous woman like this, I'd buy her a rosebud."

Derek gave the guy some money and took a rosebud to give to Emily.

"For you…"

"Thank you…" She smiled.

They were walking to the car under the starry sky. He opened the door of the SUV for her.

"Derek, I really had good time. It was a lovely night."

He held her face, touching her lips with his thumb, looking at her in the eyes. He was approaching to kiss her, but she entered the car.

After about twenty minutes driving, he parked in front of her building.

"Okay, Princess is home."

"Thank you, Derek."

"Emily, wait."

She looked at him.

"I'm travelling to Chicago tomorrow. It'll give you the time you need to think. Please, give us a chance."

She smiled a little. She hugged him, a long hug, and she kissed him on the corner of the mouth.

"I'll think about everything, Derek." She was still close to his mouth.

They shared a last look and she left. He watched her entering the building and left. _"When, Emily? When will you let me in?", _he thought to himself.

"_It shouldn't be easy to be amazing. Then everything would be. It's the things you fight for and struggle with before earning that have the greatest worth. When something's difficult to come by, you'll do that much more to make sure it's even harder―or impossible―to lose." (Sarah Dessen)_

**============ / =============**

**Thanks for reading and please, please leave a comment. **

**THANK YOU!**


	20. Chapter 20

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

Emily entered her apartment past midnight. She went straight to Anna's bedroom and kissed her on the forehead very carefully as to not to wake her up. She smiled at her sleeping baby and left.

She had taken a shower less than five hours ago but she wanted to give herself the luxury of a relaxing moment, since her baby was sleeping and Mary was there with her. She lit two candles in the bathroom, around the hot tub and got in it. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this good, her soul in peace. She smiled remembering the person responsible for this: Derek. She bite her lips, "Yes, Derek, maybe we have a chance…" She was thinking out loud.

**========== / ==========**

_**Next day, Chicago, Saturday evening**_

Derek, Sarah and Desiree were at the table singing Happy Birthday to Fran. There was a cake made by the girls.

"Uh-oh, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Momma, Happy Birthday to you, Go ahead, Momma."

"Did you make this yourself?"

"Uh, Sarah helped me."

"Momma, they wouldn't let me help so I don't know how good it's going to taste."

"Oh, no, no, no, you remember that Christmas fiasco of 1994?"

"Whatever. That was 12 years ago! Let it go!"

"No, no, we still get cards from the fire department."

"Momma, momma, you see how they treat your baby boy?"

"You be good to your brother."

"Uh-huh, what she said."

"No, no, no, you got the baby part right."

Fran, Derek and his sisters were shrieking and laughing a lot and celebrating Fran's birthday.

"Ok now, Ok, make a wish."

"There it is."

Moments after this Derek and his mother were sitting on the sofa, while the two younger women were dealing with the dirty dishes. Derek gave him mother a gift.

"What is it?"

"Here… It's a remote starter, Mom. You hit that button right there and it starts your car from inside the house."

"Why would I do that?"

"So, it's nice and warm when you get in it."

"Really?"

"No more cold cars in the winter, Mom."

"I would like one for Christmas." They listened from the kitchen.

"Not for that bucket you drive." Derek sneered.

They all laughed.

"We miss you around here, baby."

"I know."

"Your sisters wish you were around more."

"You know the unit I work for is only out of Virginia, you know that."

"I know. And… what about this smile? That hasn't left your face?"

Derek smiled even more. He knew his mother was speculating.

"We went out yesterday. It was good. I mean, it was special. Nothing happened but… I don't know… she brings me this… she brings me…"

He ran out of word to describe but his mother was more experienced.

"You're feeling good. Settled."

"That's right, Mom, it's exactly this."

"When do we get to meet her?"

"Oh, Mom, with this work, we rarely have some time off and things between us are not quite official yet… but I told her about my feelings and I gave her some time to think."

"You did the right thing, baby. And speaking of your job, Derek, it's just as dangerous as the job your Dad had, and this worries me."

Derek looked at his mother feeling sorry and guilty for worrying her. He didn't know what to say.

"Well, you're careful, right? I lost him, I can't lose you."

"You won't, Mom."

"Good, 'Cause you owe me some grand babies."

"Oh, maybe you'll get them sooner than you expect."

Someone knocked on the door right now. Derek went to check.

"What? Oh…" Fran asked about his last statement as Derek was opening the door.

"Gordinski?"

"Are you armed?"

"Excuse me?"

"Are you wearing a gun?"

"No, not right now."

"Then turn around."

"This is some kind of sick joke, right?"

"Don't make us get physical. It'll only make it worse for your family. You're under arrest, Derek."

Detective Gordinski took Derek handcuffed to the police station.

**========== / ==========**

_**At the police station**_

"You better have a real good reason for doing that in front of my family. You're going to tell me the charges now?"

"Oh, I bet if you think real hard you'll be able to figure it out, Derek."

Gordinski took the handcuffs off of Derek who demanded to be called: "Agent Morgan."

"You'll always just be Derek to me."

"And you'll always be a racist son of a bitch to me."

"Man, I should have done this a long time ago."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Sit down or there isn't going be a hole deep enough to bury your career."

"What's wrong with you, man? You know I'm an FBI agent."

"Well, then you should be fairly aware of your rights. Do you want a lawyer?"

"I'm not some punk kid you can scare anymore, Gordinski."

"Tough guy, you want a lawyer, yes or no?"

"I want a phone. I need to call my supervisor at FBI headquarters in Quantico, Agent Hotchner."

"He's already getting a call."

**========== / ==========**

Emily was home with Anna. She had taken the little girl to the park to spend the day. Now, she was just finishing bathing the baby, talking to her all the time.

"Oh, look at you, my little girl, my Princess. Did you like to play in the park today, sweetie?"

"Yeah. Yeah…" the little girl was super happy.

"Yes, good, sweetie, Mommy also liked it. We had so much fun. Now, we're going to go downstairs and Mommy will prepare a bottle for you because it's getting pretty late for a Princess like you to be awake, huh."

Before Emily could leave her bedroom, her cell phone was ringing.

"Prentiss?"

"Hey, Emily. I'm sorry to call you. We've a case of some sort."

"Oh, JJ, really? I'm alone with Anna. I don't know if I…"

"Sorry, we need all the team. It's about Morgan."

"Derek? A-a... what happened?"

"We'll discuss in the jet. We need to go to Chicago."

"O-Okay. I'll call Mary."

**========== / ==========**

The whole team finally arrived at the police station in Chicago after having briefly discussed the situation in the jet.

"I'm Agent Hotchner, FBI, I'm looking for Detective Gordinski."

"How you guys doing? I'm Wally Dennison, CPD."

"Where's agent Morgan?" Hotch insisted, showing that he was not there to make friends.

"Detective Gordinski's in with the suspect now."

"I need to see him." Hotch ordered.

"Well, when my partner has finished talking to him…"

"I need to see agent Morgan now!" Hotch insisted again.

"I'll get Gordinski." The guy finally gave up and went to call his boss.

Rossi approached Hotch, "I don't like them calling him a suspect."

"Me neither."

Emily was doing her best to not lose control and to stay focused. She needed to try to understand what was really going on there, but her heart was breaking a litlle for Derek.

After a little while, Detective Gordinski left Morgan in the cell and went to meet Hotchner and the team.

"Detective Gordinski." He reached out to Hotch.

"You think an FBI agent, a BAU profiler committed an homicide?" Hotch went straight to the point.

"Actually, it was three homicides at least, over 15 years."

"You- you think he's a serial killer? This is ridiculous." Hotch couldn't believe.

"Has he been charged with anything?" Rossi asked.

"I got 72 hours for that."

"I'd like to see him." Hotch insisted.

"Be my guest."

Hotch followed the policeman who lead him to the cell where Derek was. The rest of the team was talking to Gordinski. Emily held back the impulse of offering to go with Hotch.

"David Rossi, right?"

"Yes."

"I owe you a big thank you. I had no suspects at all until you looked over my case for me and sent me this profile. Everything in it points to that son of a bitch, Derek Morgan."

"A profile's just a guide."

"Yeah, this one guided me to him."

Emily had to say something. "T-The profilers are really more useful in the elimination of suspects rather than the inclusion."

"Well, if I confused you, I'm sorry." Rossi said.

"I'm not confused at all."

"Look, whatever it's in here that made you consider agent Morgan a suspect has to be coincidence. You can't rely solely on this." Rossi said.

**========== / =========**

_**Meanwhile, Hotch was talking to Morgan.**_

"You okay?"

"Hotch, this kid, I was with him yesterday. So- So he's dead. I drove him home, Hotch, and Gordinski's saying I was the last person seen with him."

"Tell me the story… from the beginning."

"I-I guess it starts when I was 15. I was coming home from football practice one day. Me and the boys, we were goofing off, you know, we were throwing a football around. The only person that I'd ever seen dead before that was my father when I was ten, I mean, there I was, I was looking at this kid and he was my own age, Hotch, dead in this vacant lot."

"And he was never identified?"

"Nobody knew who he was, nobody ever even reported him missing so I felt responsible for him. I mean I was the one that found him, right. I went around the neighborhood, door to door, trying to start a collection, and eventually I got enough so I could bury him, and I gave him a little headstone."

"What did you put on the headstone if he wasn't identified?"

"…Just the date. I left a room for a name if he was ever identified."

"And you still visit him."

"Hotch, I go see this kid every time I'm home. I just feel like he deserves to have somebody look in on him. Gordinski must read that as a guilty conscience, a killer revisiting his victim."

"But that can't be the only reason he suspects you."

"Believe me, that guy's had it in for me my entire life."

"He's supremely confident that you're his killer."

"The first boy was that one I told you, who I visited when I came here this morning. The second boy, I didn't even know him and now, this kid was murdered today. I was the last one seen with him too, but it wasn't me. I went to see the boys in the Youth Center like I always do when I came here. He and the other boy were about to have a fight and I break them apart."

"And that's it?"

"Yes, that's it, Hotch."

"Morgan, you can't hide anything, you know how important accurate information is to victimology."

"Whoa, Whoa, Victimology?"

"It's very likely the latest victim was an attempt to set you up."

"Are you profiling me?"

"Morgan, we need to look at—"

"No, man! We don't need to do anything!"

"Derek, you're in trouble here."

"Hotch, I didn't do this. There are still three boys dead out there. That's the case."

"Is there something else you don't want us to find out about?"

"Hotch, I don't need the people I work with going into my entire world."

**========== / ==========**

Gordinski was still talking to the rest of the team, explaining his reasons to blame Derek for the murder of those three boys. Meanwhile, Reid and Emily went to talk to Morgan's family to work on the victimology.

"Hi, I'm Emily."

Fran reached out to her and looking at that woman, she instantly knew by the tone of her voice how much she cared about her son. She knew that this was the woman her son was so in love with, but she was so devastated by the recent events to discuss that part of her son's life. "I wish I could have met you in better circumstances."

Emily smiled at her not knowing how much Derek had talked about her, but she was there to work, so she chose to keep a professional attitude.

"Is, uh, Derek all right?" Fran enquired.

"He wouldn't let us go down there." Desiree went to explain.

"He's fine. Our boss is with him."

"Did he tell you Gordinski's been harassing him since he was a kid?" Derek's sister Sarah added, clearly annoyed with the detective's behavior.

"Why's that?" Reid finally took part of the conversation.

"You'd have to ask that bastard!"

"Oh, Sarah."

"It's true, Mom."

"Sure it is." Insisted Desiree.

Morgan's family was also bothered because said detective's partner had driven Emily and Reid there. They were also angry at him and Sarah asked "What are you even doing in my mother's house?"

"They asked me." The guy bragged.

"Oh, really? I don't understand how they could think he did this!" She answered.

"Someone may be trying to make it look like he hurt those kids." Emily tried to explain the situation the police was in.

"And the police believe it!?" Sarah was getting angrier.

"We're just following the evidences." The irritating guy said.

"But he's an FBI agent!" Desiree joined.

"Actually, law enforcement officials are just as probable statistically to commit a crime as anyone else. Look at the cross-section of a society, there's a general population and a small fraction…"

Of course Emily cut Reid off. "He's not actually saying we believe Derek's involved in this."

"Oh, no, no, yeah, not at all. I'm merely, um- speaking theoretically."

"Anyway, so someone may be trying to make it look like this was Derek." Emily continued on her previous explanation.

"But Derek loves kids. Every time he's here, he goes to the youth center..."

"Does that have some sort of significance for him?" Emily could sense in Fran's tone that there was something else there.

"Oh, are you saying there's something in it for him? Other than giving back to the poor kids of your neighborhood?"

"Sarah!" Fran scolded.

"Sarah, we're friends of your brother's. We're here trying to help. When we ask a question, it isn't to denigrate or demean anything he's done. We just have to know everything, so we can figure out where to look next. So, is there some special significance to the youth center?"

"The youth center saved his life." Derek's mother said simply.

**========== / ==========**

The team was following all the clues they had collected so far, putting together all the pieces. It was around 1 a.m., they were all in the police station planning the next day.

"Derek's mother said this Youth Center saved Derek's life. I think we should start there." Emily shared.

"Hey, guys, excuse me."

"Garcia, you're on speaker."

"I'd prefer talking to Hotch, Sir.?"

Hotch took the cell phone to talk privately with Garcia. As soon as they hang up, he gathered the team to report the news.

"Garcia said Derek has a sealed file, she unsealed it. It was a juvenile criminal record. It was expunged and sealed by a judge Esposito after presentation of a letter and testimonial from a local youth center director Carl Buford, saying Derek was the finest young man he's ever known. A criminal record could have jeopardize potential scholarship offers, so he used his reputation to help him. We have to investigate this guy."

Hotch went to the cell where Morgan was to confront him.

**========== / ==========**

"Morgan, we cannot be surprised by anything else. We cannot appear to be covering something up."

"Are you trying to say something to me?"

"Only if you're hiding something. You need to trust us, Derek. Trust us enough to tell us about it."

"Hotch, it's not about trust. It's about having a little privacy. I got the right to keep something to myself. Look at us, man, we practically live together already."

"Then the best way to clear you is to find the real Unsub. Find anything out about him, Morgan. Tell me, why did Carl Buford did this for you?"

Morgan shuddered hearing that name.

"This Carl Buford is responsible for getting your records expunged."

"I told you to stay the hell out of my business!"

"You said you visit the youth center every time you come here. Why does Buford says he hasn't spoken to you in years? Why don't you visit the man who made your career possible?"

"Damn you, Hotch! It is none of your damn business!"

"Buford's the one who told the detectives you were with Damien."

"I am warning you, Hotch. Back off!"

"Hiding something won't help your case."

**========== / ==========**

Rossi and JJ went to look for Buford in order to bring him to the station to be interrogated, even though it was the middle of the night. Reid, Emily and Hotch stayed in, putting all the pieces together. They already knew Derek was hiding something really important that could be the key to solving the case once and for all. Garcia was also helping them from Quantico, lookind for more informations.

It was almost 4 a. m. Hotch was talking privately to Gordinsky and Reid was reading Buford file and everything involving the dead boys and the Youth Center that the man in question was still managing.

Emily looked at Reid, he was really focused on the reading. She took this moment as an opportunity to see Derek. In her best badass way, she showed her FBI badge to a policeman who took her where Derek was.

Derek was sitting on the floor, in the cell. He was staring down, but with a blank stare, looking totally lost. It was the only cell in that part of the police station, so when he heard the door opened he knew someone was coming, but he didn't even bother to get up. He was so done with everything, so afraid the team would find his deep secret that he didn't want to talk anymore.

Emily was in front of the cell, looking at him on the floor. Her heart broke even more. But she was there to help, she couldn't break. She held the iron bars. He finally looked to see who it was. He instantly got up from the floor and approached the iron bars, touching her hands while they shared a look.

"It's so good to see you." He whispered.

**========== / ==========**

**Okay, okay, guys, don't hate me! I'll publish very soon, I promise. Thank you so much for reading and please leave a comment.**


	21. Chapter 21

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

"It's so good to see you. I didn't know you were here."

"There was no way I wouldn't come to help you, Derek."

"Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me."

*Moments of silence*

"I met your family."

He sighed. "Too bad it was under those circumstances."

"I liked them. They're nice people. I reassured them that you were okay."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

He broke their eye contact but was still touching her hands on the iron bars of the cell.

"Derek?"

He looked at her.

"You know we're going to get you out of here, right? But you need to tell us everything you know."

He hesitated for a while. "Do you trust me?"

"Derek, y-you shouldn't even be asking me this. Of course I trust you."

"There are some things in my life I wanted to take to my grave, and now I'm literally stuck in here while people are digging into my life."

"Derek, we aren't just 'people'. We're your friends. We're family. I learned this from you, remember? After I kept Anna from you all…"

"I'm not trying to hide something cute and special like a baby, like Anna. Emily... these are things you want to bury in the deepest hole on earth, things that chase you every day for the rest of your life. Not the type of things we share with our family."

"So maybe with someone we love? Someone who really care about us…"

Derek knew she was talking about herself. He stared at her.

"Derek, you know we work with the best team in the world. You know they're going to find out what you're hiding, eventually. Especially, if it can prove you're innocent and helps to solve the case. There're three dead boys out there."

"Emily, I trust you with my life, but what I have to tell is something I'm really ashamed of and I'm terrified you'll see me in a different light. I know you're a kind and sweet person, and that you'd never judge me and always be supportive, but this is very difficult to share, even with you."

"I'm not trying to push you here, but the team is out there and they're going to find out sooner or later. We already have some clues. They are bringing Carl Buford here."

His whole demeanor changed upon hearing that name, he was fuming

"Derek, if this man saved your life, if he's the one responsible for your criminal records being expunged so you could go to college and have this brilliant career, then why all this hatred?"

He looked at her and the hatred in his eyes turned in pleading. He was almost begging her to guess what had happened to him when he was only a child, so he wouldn't have to tell her. And as if she could read his mind, she figured it out. She opened her mouth and frowned, imagining it. But she needed confirmation.

"Oh, D-Derek, H-he, Oh G-God…"

He kept looking at her as if to confirm what she was thinking. Emily was trying hard not to break down and not show him how in shock she was. She squeezed his hands even more. Everything was clear now.

"D-Do you want to talk about it?"

"T-This is so humiliating."

"No! HE is the only one who should feel humiliated, Derek. HE is the WRONG one, not you. What he did affected you, yes, but it's his fault, not yours. You know it's him! He must have been doing this all these years, to the boys, and when a boy threatens to denounce him, he just shut him up by killing him!"

Derek was looking at her and it was so clear to him now too.

"I need to talk to Hotch."

She was about to leave but turned back around. Derek still had both his hands holding onto the iron bars. She touched his hands again.

"Derek, I admire you even more. You had so many different paths to choose from in your life, bad ones, and you chose the best one you could. I know this doesn't help to ease your pain. But I'll help you to let it go, I promise. You're strong and brave, and this bastard will finally pay for what he did to you, and to God knows how many others, so you can move on. I'll always be there for you."

Morgan put his face between the bars so that she could give him a kiss, but before she could do it, someone entered the room. She quickly let go of Morgan's hands.

Totally ignoring her boss' worried stare, she said, "Hotch, we have something. Carl Buford is our Unsub."

Hotch pretended he didn't notice their proximity, they had more important things to deal with.

"How can you be so sure?"

**========== / ==========**

The next hours, all the clues and evidences came forward. And the testimony of the other boys also victims of the sexual abuse helped in finally arresting the real culprit. Carl Buford was being handcuffed in the police station.

"Derek, isn't there something you can do for me?!"

"You can go to hell."

"Are you saying I had nothing to do with making you who you are?"

"No, Carl, actually I'm saying that you had everything to do with making me who I am. Because of you I'm somebody who gets to spend the rest of his life making sure that guys like you go down."

**========== / ==========**

After Carl was arrested, the whole team was in the police station ready to go home. All of them were being supportive of Derek, respecting his space since he didn't want to talk about his past and his feelings. It was too recent. He wasn't comfortable talking about it with the team.

"Hotch, if you don't mind, I'd like to stay for a couple of days with my family. We didn't have time to celebrate my mother's birthday."

"Of course, Morgan. Take your time."

They were about to leave the police station when someone surprised everyone. "Hotch, I-I'd like to stay with Derek, I mean, if it's not a problem."

Hotch thought for awhile. "It's not a problem." He stared at them both and well, he knew something was going on between them. He chose not to talk about it yet. He didn't know how far Emily and Derek had gone into their relationship, if there was even one.

It was almost lunch time. The team went to the airport to go back to Quantico, while Derek and Emily were going to his mother's house in a cab.

"Thank you for staying. It means a lot to me, Emily." He stared at her.

She smiled. "I think I need to make a better impression on your family."

He smiled. "Speaking of my family, can you lend me your cell phone?"

"Sure."

He dialed a number.

"Mom."

"Oh, Derek! Where are you?"

"In a cab, I'm going home, Mom."

"Oh, thank God!"

"Hope you're preparing a good lunch because we have a special guest." He looked at Emily and smiled.

A few minutes later, they were arriving at Fran's house. Fran came to welcome them.

"Oh, thank God, Derek, you're home." She hugged him.

His sisters Sarah and Desiree came to join them, but one of them was not happy seeing Emily. "What are you doing here? Making sure my brother won't "kill" someone else?"

"Sarah!"

"That's true, Derek!"

"Sarah, enough! How rude of you. I didn't raise you to be like this. I don't recognize you at all. I demand that you apologize to Emily right now."

"No, T-t-that's okay. I totally understand." Emily was uncomfortable.

"Sarah, Emily is my friend, a really special friend."

"I'm sorry."

"No problem."

"Emily, I need a shower and some clean clothes. Please, feel at home. My family will be nice to you." Derek said looking Sarah pointedly.

While Derek was in the shower, Emily took some time to call home and check in on Anna.

**========== / ==========**

_**During lunch**_

The team kept Derek's secrets so his family wouldn't know about the abuse he suffered.

"I so wish I could have seen Gordinsky's face when the real killer was arrested."

"Yes! Who would have guessed? Carl Buford!"

"Desi, Sarah, let's not talk about this anymore, okay? Your brother needs to relax and to forget about this for now."

"Sorry, Mom."

"So, Derek told me you have a daughter."

"Yes!" Emily smiled at Fran.

"Anna, right?"

"Yes, it's Anna."

As they had already finished lunch, Emily offered.

"Here, I have some pictures of her."

She handed her cell phone for them to see the pictures.

"Awwwww, Emily, she's so cute!"

"Emily, she is adorable. Derek's always talking about her and he isn't exaggerating."

"Derek says she's the cutest baby ever and he's definitely right. Congrats!"

"Thank you!" She almost blushed.

"Anna is just so adorable Mom. She has her mother's beauty and smile. She's also very intelligent. She can light up a room just by laughing – way too cute."

**========== / ==========**

After lunch, Emily offered help to clean the kitchen but Fran wouldn't allow it since she knew how tired Derek and Emily were because of the case. Derek's family was dealing with the kitchen while he took Emily to the living room.

"Maybe we should go for a walk, I can show you some places."

"Yes, Derek, I'd like that, but not now. I know you didn't sleep at the police station. We both need some rest, especially you. So, go to your room and take a good nap and maybe tonight we can go for a walk or something."

He smiled at her. It was exactly what he needed, a good nap.

"So you're coming with me." She looked at him. "…To my room."

"Derek, I don't think it's a good idea."

"Are you afraid of me Princess?" He smiled.

"No, of course not, I know nothing would happen, it's just, it's… this is your family home. We should, you know, respect it."

As if he could admire her even more. He so wanted to grab her and just kiss her, but he stopped himself.

"Okay, Ms. Perfection, so, you're going to take my bedroom and I'll take my mother's. How does it sound?"

"Perfect."

**========== / ==========**

It was around 8 pm when Emily woke up in Derek's old room. She took a shower and changed her clothes and was now drying her hair with a towel when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in."

"Hey, just checking if you're okay. Do you need anything?"

"Oh, everything's fine. Thank you."

Fran entered the bedroom.

"I'd like to thank you and all the team, for helping my son."

"Oh, Mrs. Morgan…"

"Fran…"

"Fran, we'd do anything for Derek. He's part of our family. We all love him."

"Thank you for staying here with him, in Chicago. He really likes you."

"I like him as well."

"Oh, no, Mom, I hope you aren't boring Emily with stories of when I was a child…" Derek joined them.

"Oh, Derek, of course not…"

"I bet stories about your childhood would never be boring, Derek."

"Yeah, but Mama Fran here always like to tell everyone how I used to run naked around the garden when I was like what, two or three, and things I'm not proud of."

"You were only a child, Derek."

Derek kissed his mother on the head.

"Well, I'm going to leave you both and prepare a good dinner for us."

"She…" He pointed to his mother. "…is the best cook in the world!"

"I don't doubt it."

"Oh, Derek…stop."

"You sure is, Mom, don't be shy." "While this dinner is being cooked, I'll take Emily to visit some places here."

"Okay. Be careful."

**========== / ==========**

_**Meanwhile, Quantico**_

The team was arriving back at the BAU. Penelope was there waiting for them, especially for Morgan because she wanted to comfort him because of the case and of what he had suffered as a child. She had a cupcake in her hands. She saw Hotch, Rossi, Reid and JJ, but no sign of Morgan.

"Hey, JJ, where's my Chocolate God?"

"He stayed in Chicago."

"…and Prentiss?"

"She stayed with him."

Penelope thought for awhile, frowning. "Hey, JJ, help me with this equation: My Chocolate God plus our raven hair beauty, in Chicago, with his family. Is it just me, or does it really smells like wedding cake and mocha babies?"

"Well, it doesn't matter what I think, Pen, and no matter what you say to them, you know how stubborn our Emily is, she'll say she's only a good friend helping out another good friend."

**========== / ==========**

"I know you came here already, for the investigation, but this place means a lot to me. My family never had money so I used to come here a lot, every single day actually."

They were walking in the Youth Center. Derek was showing her the place he grew up in.

"Too bad this place… as much as it is important to me, also reminds me the worst part of my life, a past I want to forget."

They stopped walking. Emily touched his arm. "I know exactly how you feel."

She was referring about herself and Anna. The most important thing in her life, Anna, was also the bond to a past that she also wanted to forget.

Derek was looking at her trying to figure out what she was saying. She continued walking.

It was dark outside. There was an old lady digging in the garbage can. Morgan approached her.

"Be careful, you hear me? This world needs all of its beautiful ladies… and that means you, too, okay?"

The old lady smiled, shyly and walked away in time to hear Morgan saying: "Go home."

The woman walked away.

"You're a good guy."

"You think?"

"Yeah, you make the people around you feel good."

He smiled at her and they continued walking towards a basketball court where there were some boys practicing.

"Hey, Derek!" A boy called him.

"Well, let me show these youngsters how to play. Can you hold it?"

He gave her his jacket.

"Sure."

Morgan was really good with children. All the boys wanted to play with him, asking him advices. Emily was observing from afar and admired him even more. It was a bit cold, so she put on his jacket. After about ten minutes, she saw Morgan pointing to her but couldn't hear what he was saying to the boys.

"You kids see that beautiful lady there, she's a real Princess and I want to win her heart. Of all the good things I can teach you boys the most important thing is to never keep a lady waiting and always treat her like a real queen. Now, I'm going. Listen to me, always be good for your Mom, focus on sports and your studies, and keep a positive attitude in life."

Morgan left the boys and approached Emily.

"What did you say to them?"

"Mm, nothing."

"C'mon, I saw you pointing to me."

"Ha-ah, Nah."

"Derek! Please…"

"You'll have to guess."

"And what do I get if I guess it correctly?"

"Mm… I can show you later…"

They shared a look, broken by her, of course.

"Here, your jacket."

"No, keep it. I was-playing… I'm not cold."

They started walking towards Fran's house but not far from there, there was a place Derek wanted to show to her.

"We used to come to this park a lot when I was a child, me and my family. You see, there is almost nothing in here, I mean, only some trees, a small lake, a playground, but we were so happy just because we were coming here on Sundays as a family for picnics. It was so special to all of us. My mother used to prepare a nice basket with sandwiches, fruits, juices and we used to spend the whole day here. This place brings me very good memories in family."

"I'd give all the palaces I lived in around the world for just one of these picnics in family, Derek. You're so lucky."

"I bet you want this for Anna, right?"

They stopped walking when he mentioned Anna. She had both hands in the pocket of the jacket.

"Emily, we can give this to Anna."

"Derek…"

"It's true, Emily. I'm not being irresponsible here and promising you things I wouldn't do. I really like you."

She looked at him. Well, 'like' wasn't the most appropriate word for the moment. But Morgan wasn't a guy who had said this to any woman before. It was a new territory for him. It'd be the first time ever. He touched her arm.

"I-I love you. I really do, Emily."

She said nothing. _'Wow, he really said that?'_ She thought.

"Before I came to Chicago, I asked you to think about us, to give us a chance. Have you?"

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading and please leave a comment. Thank you!**


	22. Chapter 22

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

"Have you thought about us?"

Emily's hair were being blown by the wind a bit over her eyes. Derek gently used his hand to fix it, touching her face. They were so close now, looking at each other in the eyes, in a moment of exquisite agony right before a kiss. A typical alpha male like Morgan still thought men are supposed to make the first move, but right now he knew he'd have to wait. After all, this was Emily Prentiss!

She took her hands out of her jacket and hugged him and within seconds they were kissing passionately. They weren't two teenagers pretending to be living a fairytale. They were two independent adults, two FBI agents, tough and strong people. They knew exactly what they wanted and what they were doing. They broke the kiss when oxygen became a necessity.

"They say actions speak louder than words. I hope this answers your question."

"Well, yes, it did answer my question loud and clear, but I wouldn't mind to get this answer over and over again, only to check if I understood well."

She smiled. "I could kiss you for the rest of my life, Emily."

Well, she wasn't expecting to hear this so soon.

"Derek, we need to talk."

She broke the hug.

"We're just starting a relationship, we don't know where it's going to lead us and you're talking about building a family for the three of us. And this 'rest of my life' thing scares me."

"That's because I have no doubt about I want in my life, Emily, and I want you."

There was no way she could forget when Ian had told her the same thing. She turned away from him.

"Don't you trust me, Emily? I know my past doesn't speak in my favor but I'm serious here."

She looked at him again.

"It isn't you, Derek, it's me. Love makes us vulnerable. It's like opening your chest for someone to get in and mess you up. Don't get me wrong but I had to build up all these defenses, so that nothing could hurt me again and now I just don't know how to let someone in again."

"You don't have to worry about this, Emily. Let's just let things happen."

"I can't, Derek. I can't take the risk. I have to think about Anna and her feelings. I can't let someone come into our lives, I mean, anyone enter my life will have to accept her as well. If you mess up with me, I'm going to get hurt but I know I'll live but if you enter our lives and my daughter starts to see you as a family and things don't work well between us, you'll break her heart. I don't know, I just can't take this risk…"

She was about to start walking away, but he gently stopped her, grabbing her arm.

"Emily, I'd never break Anna's heart. I just want to protect her and take care of her. When I heard she was sick and in the hospital, then you told me there her condition could be critical, I was terrified. You can trust me when I say I'll never hurt her, I only have her best interests in my mind."

She was looking at him perplexed. He kept talking.

"Even if things don't go well between us, I promise you, I'll always be there for her."

"I know you're a good guy, Derek."

"So, let's give us a chance. We're 'profilers', Emily, I mean, I respect your space but I can't help but notice certain things, especially if they come from someone I care about. I know something bothers you when it comes to love."

'…As if I could talk about my past love life so easily…' She thought.

They kept walking slowly, while she started talking about her life, up until the point she could share.

"Life surprises us all the time and sometimes not in a good way, I mean, you try hard to avoid certain kind of feelings and when you least expect it, you end up giving someone a piece of your heart, that they didn't even ask for. And all of the sudden, this person surprises you with something, maybe a gift, a flower or just a smile and then your life isn't your own anymore. You feel weak and imprisoned in a relationship that won't end well and it eats you out for months, maybe years, and then leaves you crying in the darkness."

Derek knew she was talking about herself. "I'll never push you to talk about Anna's father or this person you're talking about. Know he just wasn't the right one for you. Let me prove that I can make you break free of all your fears. It'll be different with us, I promise."

She stopped walking to look at him.

"I trust you completely, Derek. I do believe it could be different with you, but my wound was so deep the last time, that it's hard for me to believe I have another chance. But then I look into your eyes and I know what kind of man you are. You go out of your way to make sure Anna and I are okay. Just like the time I was in the hospital with her."

"Okay, so?"

She was in front of him now, both hands in her pockets.

"I think we can try."

He smiled. "Well, then, since it's a little cold now, I think we should hug and Mm maybe kiss…"

He stuck his hands around her body under the jacket she was wearing to warm himself. He kissed her again.

The kiss was broken by Derek's cell phone ringing. Before answering he looked at Emily.

"I bet that's my mother asking us to come home for dinner." "Hello, Mama."

"Derek, baby, dinner was ready a long time ago, and it's too cold to be outside."

"Mama, you'll never stop treating me like a baby, huh! …Even when I'll be 100 years old, but I love it, Mama. We're on our way now. I was just showing Emily all the places that meant a lot to me growing up. You knew that would take a long time."

They went back to Fran's, walking and hugging each other.

========== / ==========

_**During dinner**_

"Mrs. Morgan, oops – Fran – Derek always says you're the best cook of the world and he's right. These are the best lasagnas I've ever eaten."

"Oh, Mom, if I were you I wouldn't take it as a compliment."

"Sarah!"

"I mean, look at her body, Mama. I bet you don't eat anything, Emily."

"A-Thank you… but I do eat."

"That, Sarah, is because she runs after bad guys faster than me, you have no idea how much of a badass Emily is."

"Well, in the field, we always see a lot of action, and besides this, we have to practice a lot. And this guy here doesn't help with the situation one bit. He pushes me hard all the time."

"So, Derek is your trainer?"

"Sometimes, yes…"

"So you and Derek must have long and intense, very physical and long hours of grueling training, right? I mean… to keep you both in good shape. This training must be very exhausting." Sarah had a huge smirk on her face saying this."

"Sarah!"

"C'mon, Mom, we're all adults here."

"I can only feel sorry for one thing."

"What is it, Desi?"

"Derek could be our personal slave now, if it wasn't for Mama."

"Oh, c'mon, girls, please, don't start."

"Leave your brother in piece, girls."

Emily was totally lost in the conversation now. Derek's sisters chose to not reveal he had broken his promise that he'd never fall in love and get married since it was pretty obvious things were happening between them. His sisters didn't want to embarrass him now.

"Okay, girls, Mama, we have some happy news to share with you all. Emily and I have enjoyed a wonderful partnership at work and friendship but we feel we want to try for something more. I hope to have your approval, blessing and support for this, especially you Mom."

Fran was thrilled hearing this, not that this was a total surprise. She got up and hugged Derek.

"Oh, Derek, you make me so happy and proud now."

Desiree and Sarah went to hug Derek and Emily.

"I could be just even happier, if I wasn't missing someone here. I mean, I'm here with four out of the five most important women in my life."

All said women were wondering who could be the other 'woman'. They were looking at him.

"The other one is my little Princess Anna."

Emily had had an idea already but it even better to hear him saying it.

**========== / ==========**

The next day in the morning, Emily and Derek were arriving in Quantico. Emily was missing her baby so much, especially after having spent one day more in Chicago for others purposes than work. But she knew how Derek was in needing of some support, especially from her. They got a cab that would leave Emily at her place and Derek at his. The cab parked in front of her condo.

"I'll ask Hotch for a day off today to stay with Anna."

"Yes, you should, Princess. Sorry I made you lose some precious time with her."

"Oh, Derek, don't be. I'd do it all over again."

He smiled at her. She kissed him on the lips and got out of the car.

It was Tuesday, around 10 am when Emily opened the door of her apartment. She dropped her go bag on the floor and walked into the living room. Mary was giving Anna mashed banana with oatmeal. The little girl smiled adorably when she saw her mother.

"Hi, sweetie, Mommy missed you so much. What deliciousness are you eating? Hi Mary."

"Hi, Emily."

"_Manana_"

"That's right, sweetie, bananas…"

Emily sat on the sofa and took Anna on her lap.

"Mama's going to give it to you, now, okay? Mary, you can go take the rest of the day off. I'm staying home with her today."

"Okay, Emily, if anything comes up you can call me."

"Okay, thank you."

Emily finished giving her daughter the bananas and put her on her lap facing her. She stayed like that for a while just looking at her. She was feeling happier than she had in long. But Anna being almost two, she didn't stay quiet for long. Emily was playing with her.

"Anna, look at Mama." "I love you."

"_Wuv you_."

Emily smiled at every new word her baby was trying to say.

========== / ==========

That night, Emily put Anna to sleep and went to her bedroom. Her cell phone had a new message.

"Just checking on you, and Anna. Miss you."

"Everything's fine. She's okay. You?"

He called her instead of texting back.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"It's so good to hear you smile."

"Derek…"

"Yeah, Princess, It's really good to hear you smiling."

"I'm happy. I've had an incredible and wonderful day with my baby girl."

"I bet you did. How is she?"

"She's okay, adorable as usual. Trying to talk a lot."

"I miss her."

Emily was still unsure about how things would be between her, Anna and Derek, so she said nothing about this.

"What about you, Derek? Ready to face the team after all that happened?"

"I think yes, I mean, we're all friends but I don't have to talk about this with anyone. It's all over. I'm focused on my future now which involves you and Anna."

"Derek, about this, we need to talk."

"What is it, Princess?"

"I think we should keep this private for now."

"Emily, you know in our job nothing is 'private' between anyone."

"Yes, I know, but even so, I'd rather not disclose our relationship for now. Don't get me wrong, I love them all, especially the girls, I really consider them as friends but we just started dating. Let's keep this between us for now."

"Okay, Emily, you make the rules."

**========== / ==========**

For the rest of the week, Emily and Derek kept a professional attitude and the team was trying to pretend they didn't know that something was happening between them, except for the girls.

========== / ==========

_**Friday night**_

At the BAU, the team was about to leave. They would have the whole next weekend off.

Emily, Derek, and Reid were at their desks finishing some papers, Rossi and Hotch were in their offices. Emily got a new text from Garcia on her cell phone, now "JJ's office, now." She thought it could be about a new case or something related to work. Emily looked at Derek and Reid, they were still focused on their papers and it didn't seem that they had received the same message. She went to JJ's office to check.

The door was closed so she knocked. "Come in", she heard JJ saying.

Emily opened the door and looked at JJ who was sitting at her table. Behind Emily, the door closed. She turned to see Garcia locking the door.

She looked at JJ again who said:

"This is all on her."

"Emily, you know that for a person, just half of an information is enough to make them go crazy and being curious other people's lives in every way is their hobby I'm one of those."

"What's going on here?" Emily was looking at Pen, then JJ, then Pen again.

"Okay, My Raven haired beauty, my blonde angel sidekick and I won't let you get out of her office until you tell us every juicy detail about you and my Chocolate Thunder God. Is he showing you what thunder is all about?"

Emily opened her mouth but Penelope kept talking.

"You and him are keeping everything secret and this needs to stop now. So, unless you want to be a permanent prisoner in here, speak up, or we'll really hold you here like forever." She smiled.

Emily was kind of speechless, and a little embarrassed. She really wasn't used to people digging into her personal life. "JJ, Pen, nothing is happening."

"JJ, I told you we'd need handcuffs here."

"Pen, if she's saying this it might be because it's true. Emily, I want to apologize for Pen, you know how crazy she can get. We both respect your privacy and if you don't want to tell us, which is your right, that's totally okay, but we're here if you need to talk."

"Okay, I'll talk. W-we, me and Derek talk about our feelings, in Chicago, we kissed, and that was the ONLY thing that happened, Penelope."

"OH GOD! A KISS! I knew it!"

"Yes, Pen a kiss, and that's it. I mean, I really like him, but it's so hard for me to start a relationship right now. I have Anna and my last relationship isn't easy to forget. Derek and I are just starting to give each other a chance and we don't even know where this is going. That's why we thought that it was wise to keep this between us, at least for now. I'm sorry haven't told you two before and I promise to keep you informed from now on."

Penelope and JJ approached Emily for a triple hug.

"Emily, promise me you'll let me plan your wedding."

"She says the same about Will and I, so don't let this rattle you"

"Pen, please don't jump the gun here.

**========== / ==========**

_**A few hours later**_

Emily was preparing a dinner for herself, Anna and Derek. It was around 8 when he arrived. She opened the door for him and he kissed her on the lips. Little Anna was also at the door to welcome Derek, wanting some attention from him. He took her in his arms.

"Oh, my little Princess, look at you! I missed you so much." He kissed her on the cheek.

"_Me miss Dewek_."

Derek had a Teddy bear hidden behind his back.

"Look what I got you. He's almost as cute as you are, but that's only because he's from my favorite football team, The Chicago Bears."

"Oh, Derek, how sweet… Anna what do we say when someone does something nice for you or give you something?"

"_Tank so mush_."

"You're very welcome, baby."

"Thanks, Derek."

"That was nothing, Princess."

"Well, thank God you're here. Anna was 'helping' me with the dinner which makes me have to actually split my attention, and I'm not even good at cooking. Now, you're almost her favorite person in the world so please, stay with her while I finish this."

"Okay, sure, it'll be a pleasure to play with this sweet cute little Princess here. Let's fly."

Derek took the girl and made her fly. Emily could see and hear Anna laughing so hard and loud, she knew her little girl was happy.

**========== / ==========**

_**Few hours later**_

Emily came downstairs.

"She fell asleep. She was exhausted."

"We played a lot."

"She never goes to sleep this fast."

"She'll have a good night with nice dreams, I bet."

"Thank you, Derek." She joined him on the sofa.

He hugged her, "C'mon, Princess, you don't need to thank me. Anna is like…"

He wasn't sure if he should say this now since he knew about Emily's temper and how she could be tough sometimes. But he felt he should continue.

"...a daughter to me."

She looked at him and she was worried of course, she was Emily Prentiss. Before she could say something, Derek reassured her.

"Emily, it's true, I mean, Anna is a piece of you. There's no way I wouldn't love her. She's so adorable and she likes me. Did you see how I make her laugh?"

Emily was looking at him for a while, totally in love.

"That, Derek Morgan, is because there's no way not to love you."

"Ah-are you saying you love me? Emily Prentiss is saying she loves me? I should open that window and shout it out loud for the whole world to know."

"I think you've better things to do now, Mr. Morgan, like kissing me."

Well, the kiss started and it didn't stop for about forty minutes. They were rolling on the sofa, hands everywhere, moans, whispers.

Suddenly, she broke the kiss and got up from the sofa. "Derek, do you want to drink something?"

"Drink?"

_What the fuck? I want you, Emily!_ He was thinking.

"Yeah, I'm thirsty."

Derek was thinking now, '_I'm actually not thirsty I'm hungry and starving, but not for food_.', he actually said. "No, thanks..."

What Morgan really needed right now was a cold shower. Emily went to the kitchen to pick up some water and still holding a glass of water she came back to the living room.

"Derek, do you want to sleep over? Tomorrow maybe we could go out with Anna since it's Saturday."

He was still recovering from almost having Emily Prentiss entirely for him. His body was still coming back to normal, physically and emotionally speaking.

"A-it's sounds great, Emily."

"Oh, okay, so, I think we should sleep now. I'll get you some sheets."

She brought some sheets for him. Derek pulled her by the hand for another passionate kiss.

"Emily, please…"

She knew what he was talking about.

"Derek, it isn't that I don't want you. I need more time. I need to be sure."

"Are you not sure about us?"

"Please, let's not argue. We agreed to just let things happen naturally. I love being with you, I love you, but I need more time."

Actually, she was afraid of Ian Doyle pop up in her mind while making love to Derek.

**========== / ==========**

Both Emily and Derek struggled a bit to sleep, thinking of each other, knowing it was all part of a process. It wasn't time yet. She had opened the door of her home to him, and with it, the door of their lives, hers and Anna's. It was in itself a big deal already for her.

The next morning, Emily was coming downstairs with Anna in her arms.

"Look, sweetie, who is here to spend the day with us."

The little girl smiled shyly seeing Derek and lied down on her mother's shoulder.

Derek got up from the couch and approached them.

"Morning…" He kissed Emily in the lips.

"Anna, sweetie, I hope you like me staying over because I wanted to see your beautiful face and smile as soon as the sun got up. Do you like me staying over?"

Anna then gave him a big hug, almost jumping in his arms.

"_Me like Dewek stayin_…"

Anna had the Teddy bear Derek had given her the night before.

"I see you loved the Teddy bear I gave you from Chicago."

"She absolutely adore it, Derek. She insisted on sleeping with it yesterday. I saw her sleeping with it in her arms and I had to take a photo. I'll show you later."

They shared a look. Derek played with Anna while Emily went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Soon, she came from the kitchen with a bottle for Anna. Emily put on the TV and gave the bottle to Anna."

"Here, sweetie, you can do this on your own, like a big girl, right. Coffee's almost ready." She said to Derek.

Derek smiled at her. He stayed for a while watching Anna dealing with the bottle, focused on the cartoons on TV. He felt so complete. He had the certainty that this was exactly what he wanted, for the rest of his life, with these people. He was wrapped up in his thoughts when he heard, "Coffee is ready, Derek."

He went to the kitchen and Emily was still dealing with the coffee machine. He hugged her from behind, biting slightly her ear.

"Hmm, delicious…"

"It's all on this coffee machine"

"I'm not talking about the coffee."

She smiled and turned to face him. He kissed her passionately.

"Yes, now, good morning. I think I could just taste your lips all day. I don't need any food."

"Yup, but your stomach needs some. Reid would have statistics about that."

"You had to mention Boy Genius and his statistics?"

They both laughed

About a little more than one hour later, Emily, Derek and Anna were ready to go to the park near by.

"Here, sweetie, drink this while Mommy goes upstairs to put on some shoes."

Emily was coming back in time to see Anna drop all the juice on herself, Derek, the sofa and the carpet.

"Oh, Emily, I'm so sorry, I should have…"

"Oh, Derek, it's no problem…it happens all the time. I just have to change this little one here before you go and get a T-shirt for you. Thank God I have zillion FBI shirts here. Be right back."

Derek took off his t-shirt and tried to dry the juice out of the carpet. It was then that the doorbell rang.

"Derek, check it for me."

And a shirtless Derek opened the door.

"… Ambassador."

She was in her posh suit, coat and skirt.

"I probably got the wrong door. I didn't know this was a male stripper club. I thought it was my daughter's home."

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading and please, please, please, leave a comment.**


	23. Chapter 23

**I OWN NOTHING**

**========== / ==========**

"… Ambassador."

She was in her posh suit, coat and skirt.

"I probably got the wrong door. I didn't know this was a male stripper club. I thought this was my daughter's home."

"M-Ma'am, I, it was Anna, she dropped juice on my shirt, I'm sorry."

Derek opened the door wide positioning himself behind it to hide. She made her path to the living room, without looking at him. By this time, Emily and Anna were coming downstairs.

"Mother?" Emily threw a T-shirt to Derek.

Ambassador had an intimidating look that always made Anna a little scared of her.

"You should put a warning on your door."

Emily rolled her eyes.

"And you, Anna, never leave your mother's arms, huh? This isn't good."

"You want my daughter to live by herself at her age or what mother?"

"She needs to learn to be independent. There are things that we need to learn from an early stage."

Emily rolled her eyes again and didn't even answer to this.

"What do you want, mother?"

"Well, I'm passing by visiting my daughter and granddaughter. I didn't know you're… busy with…. guests." She had an arrogant attitude towards Derek, totally ignoring his presence.

"I'm not busy with 'guests'. Derek is my boyfriend."

"Oh, so, are you really saying you're in a relationship with a co-worker?"

"Yes."

"Isn't this against the rules of the Bureau?"

"Mother, please. People have nothing to do with my personal life, and this includes you. Now, if you're here to see your granddaughter, she's here, if not, you can go, because we were ready to go out."

Even against her will, Elizabeth Prentiss made a huge effort to ignore Emily's statements. She turned her attention to the baby, but the little girl didn't want to go to her grandma. She started to pout, grabbing Emily's neck.

"This girl is way too much attached to you, Em."

"What do you want, mother!? You saw her like what? Two or three times only in her entire life, and now you want a welcome party from her?" Emily turned her attention back to Anna. "It's okay, sweetie, your grandmother loves you, okay? She's my Mommy just like I'm your Mommy. Do you understand?"

Emily put Anna on the floor and the girl ran to play with her toys that were on the coffee table.

"Mother, do you want to drink something? Water, juice, a tea?"

"No, thank you. I won't take long, Em. I was just passing by."

"I'll go get my shoes, then."

Derek was washing the dishes of the breakfast while Anna was playing with her toys. Ambassador was sitting on the couch, observing. She couldn't help herself from approaching him for a talk.

"So, are you intending to marry my daughter?"

Derek stopped for a moment totally surprised by the sudden question. He looked at her to answer. He was actually in shock.

"W-We haven't discussed about this yet."

"Yeah, probably not, but I can see how comfortable you're acting here as if you were in your own place, so, I just assumed this wedding must happen soon."

"Ma'am, with all respect, but this subject belongs to me and your daughter only."

"Well, like you said, she's my daughter, if she's happy or not this affects me directly, not mentioning that it involves my granddaughter, too, and her welfare. So, I'd say this issue belongs to me as well."

"Well, ma'am, for now, I'm trying to help her here with the dishes. If we're getting married or not, you'll know at the time, now, if you excuse me…" Emily was coming downstairs just in time to hear Derek finished this sentence. "…I'd like to finish this stuff here."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Your mother and I were just talking."

"Well, I think I'm going then. Is there anything you need for her birthday? Maybe we could celebrate it at my place since it's much bigger than this apartment."

"I appreciate your offer, mother, but no, thanks. We're going to do something small right here at my apartment."

"Em, my granddaughter deserves a huge elaborate party for her. I'd bring the Disney World characters here for her like Mickey, Minnie and Donald Duck, just give me the word and I can make it happen."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Thank you, Mother, but I'm not turning my daughter's birthday party into a Mickey Mouse one, even though I know she'd like it but then again all these characters might scare her, as well. I just want something small and intimate mostly very close family members and friends. I'll let you know about the date and stuff. We haven't talked about it yet."

Ambassador was looking at Derek and analyzing Emily saying "we", referring to him all the time. She realized how fast he had become part of the family.

"Well, Em, as long as you and her are happy, I'll be glad just to be part of the guests."

"Thank you, mother."

**========== / ==========**

_**One month later**_

_**Kwan-li-so**_

Poor subsistence food, forced labour, poor hygiene conditions, tortures, none of this could break Ian Doyle. After learning his only son was dead, he didn't have anything else to lose, he could even die, but not before paying back the person responsible for putting him there. He'd have to make a deep investigation, but nothing could be done if he was still in jail, so his first step would be planning the escape and the revenge.

_**========== / ==========**_

_**At the same time, at Emily's home**_

It was night. Emily was in her bedroom and Derek was downstairs, on the couch, as usual. She was passing cream on her body and thinking of him. Maybe it was time. She was ready for the next step. With no rush, she lit some candles around the room. She was wearing black lace panties and bra matching, contrasting with her white skin. She dressed the black satin robe and went downstairs.

Derek was trying to fall asleep and he was getting used sleeping on the couch already, so he never expected what was coming. He was looking at her while she was slowly coming down the stairs.

She approached him. "Hey."

"Hey."

She smiled and bit her lips. "I think there's a problem with my bed. Can you help me to fix it?"

_**========== / ==========**_

_**At the same time, kwan-li-so**_

"Is everything ready?"

"Yes."

"What time?"

"Midnight."

"Is he up to date?"

"Yes, he'll leave the keys."

"How's the final number?"

"Only ten. The rest are afraid of the consequences if we get caught."

"Weak people."

"Yeah"

"Are they aware of the consequences if they tell anything?"

"Yes."

"They're dead."

"Do you have a plan where to go after here?"

"I don't know where, but I know what I'm going to do."

"And what is it?"

"I'm sure you don't want to know."

_**========== / ==========**_

_**At the same time, in Emily's bedroom**_

They entered the bedroom kissing and making their path to the bed. When her legs touched the bed she broke the kiss and smiled at him. He sat on the bed and she was standing in front of him. She opened her robe, looking at him all the time, dropping it over her shoulders on the floor. He stared at her from head to toe, giving special attention to some parts.

"Wow, wow, wow. I could never imagine you'd have tattoos. Emily Prentiss, you're definitely a box full of surprises, what else are you hiding?"

Trying not to think about part of the past she was hiding, she borrowed all the charm of Lauren Reynolds to answer him.

"A woman never reveals her secrets, Derek Morgan, you should know better…" she said while she was unbuttoning her bra, dropping it on the floor.

He was petrified with such a beauty right in front of him and it was getting hard to control already. He pulled her by the hand, saying, "Then I might have to seduce and kiss it all out of you…"

Already in bed, in her best sexy voice, she answered, "Well, You can try…"

_**========== / ==========**_

_**At the same time, kwan-li-so**_

"I'll find out all the secrets of the operation that sent me here to this hell which also killed my son."

"Do you have any idea?"

"I have a small idea."

"Wasn't it told when they arrested you?"

"I know they used a bait, a woman. She bewitched me, entirely. She made me so addicted to her, as if she was the most powerful kind of drug possible, of those ones capable of keeping your soul hostage, making your mind to stop thinking straight, of those ones which it's impossible for you to get rid of. She made me totally blind, deaf and dumb."

"So, it was a woman." The other evil guy that Ian was talking to smiled. "I so wanted to see the moment you'll squash her down like a venomous snake." He smiled again. "It's so good torturing a woman, you know, because they think they can be strong like us, but they're just like worm, bitches."

"Unfortunately she died in a car accident. But I'll find the others."

_**========== / ==========**_

_**At the same time, in Emily's place**_

They were in bed, under the sheets. She was lying on his chest. They were holding hands.

"I was so afraid of this moment, that my past would haunt me, but you bring me such peace, you make everything seem so right."

"That's because I love you."

She smiled.

"You and our little Princess."

She smiled again, "Speaking of her, I can't believe she's turning two in about few days!"

"We have to prepare a birthday party for her. I want my family from Chicago to meet her."

"Last year it was just her, Mary and I, but it was nice."

"I bet you did great. You're a great mother."

"I try."

"Well, while Anna's birthday party is far away, we could continue our here."

_**========== / ==========**_

_**At the same time, kwan-li-so**_

Ian Doyle finally turned to look at them man he was talking to who was also the same person he was planning the escape with. "I'll find the ones responsible for putting me in here, and I'll assure you something, I've killed an entire army of people during all my career, so to speak, but I want to see these people suffer, I want to cause these people so much pain. I'll kill them slowly. I want them to feel all the pain I feel for having lost my love, my son. I'll do it with my bare hands, with ice running in my veins, with blood in my eyes and hatred in my heart."

The guy was in shock.

"I didn't want to be in their skin."

_**========== / ==========**_

_**A few days later**_

"_Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Anna, happy birthday to you._"

Emily had Anna in her arms helping her to blow out the candle.

"Anna, sweetie, look at this..." Emily was showing Anna two fingers while the other fingers were bent and not shown. " My big baby girl is two years old today! It's just like yesterday you came to this world making my life totally complete, baby."

Anna also put her fingers to show two as well, imitating her mother.

"I love you." Emily kissed her on the cheek.

"_Wuv you too, mama_."

After a little while, people were eating cake and talking.

"Emily, congrats, she's so cute."

"Thanks, Fran."

"She's adorable, Emily."

"Thanks, Desi."

"I bet Derek is spoiling her like a real queen."

"Yes, Sarah, he is and sometimes I've to stop him. You know he isn't here all the time and all that she asks when I have to punish her for something she did is Derek! She just adores him."

"Oh, well, classical, everybody loves Derek!"

Fran held Emily's hands. "I've never seen my son so happy. Thank you."

Emily smiled sweetly to her, then, she went to spend some time with JJ and Pen. Anna was playing with Jack all the time with the laptop toy Penelope had given to her.

"Emily, how is my Chocolate Thunder in the love performance department as a partner? And I'm not talking about partnership at work. I'm talking about working undercover, under the covers. I call him Chocolate Thunder as I'm sure he makes you feel the thunder with his brute strength. Give me all the juicy details and do not leave out a single detail."

"Well, Pen, they say we shouldn't make advertisement about our man, but as I totally trust you guys, I won't spare any details, but not now, first because it isn't an appropriate subject for a baby birthday party and second because I'd need long hours to say at least a bit about his performance."

They all laughed.

While they were talking, Jack and Anna passed by them running towards Hotch, who were sitting on the couch, talking to Derek and Rossi.

"_Daddy, Daddy, buy this foi me?_" (Daddy, Daddy, can you buy this for me?"

Before Hotch could open his mouth, Anna was also calling Hotch. "Daddy, Daddy." She was patting on his legs, just like Jack had just done.

Everybody there had noticed this. Emily then approached Anna and bent down to talk to her. "Look, sweetie, this is Jack's Daddy, not yours, okay?"

It was automatic, Anna ran to Derek. "Daddy, daddy."

Nobody was expecting this.

Derek was thrilled. He had a big smile on his face. He shared a look with Emily.

Without even thinking, he took the girl on his lap. "Yes, baby, Daddy's here. You're the most intelligent baby girl in the world." He gently kissed her on the cheek.

But as Anna wanted to play, she followed Jack again to play with him.

"So, you and Emily are really serious."

"Hotch, about this, I know we should have talked to you before, but we were just starting something. She wanted to keep this private."

"You know the BAU rules. Well, I prefer to ignore these rules than losing two of my best agents at once. I'll trust that this will never jeopardize yours and her performance on the field and on the team."

"This will never jeopardize my performance and hers. We both know how very important our job is. You won't have to worry about this, Hotch. If this would affect our team in a negative way, I'd be the first one to quit. You can rest assured I'm sure this will all work out and not be a problem for the BAU."

"Hotch, you don't have to worry about these two. I'm pretty sure this feeling between them started the first time they laid eyes on each other. But they never once let their feelings affect their work. They're the ultimate professionals, especially Emily, no offense Derek, but we know how professional she is."

"No problem, Rossi, man, you're totally right."

"I never thought I'd see this day that Casanova Derek Morgan totally heads over heel in love. Is this the end of the world? It may feel like that but no this is the beginning of a wonderful era that proves that anything in life is possible if we keep the faith. Maybe there is hope for a loser in love like me."

The men laughed, including Hotch! "I'm in the same boat. I just got the divorce."

Reid, well, after the first magic trick, Anna and Jack didn't let go of him anymore. The two babies were chasing Reid all the time.

Ambassador held Emily's arms while she was on her way to the kitchen to pick up some snacks. "Em, I think I'm going."

"So soon, mother?"

"You know child birthday parties are not my cup of tea, but of course I'd never lose my grandchild's birthday."

"Thank you for coming, Mother."

Emily left the tray with some the snacks on the counter and followed her mother to the door.

"I can see you really like him, right?"

Emily was surprised but she answered. "Yes."

"I'm happy for you."

She couldn't remember the last time her mother had been so kind to her. "Thank you, Mother."

"I see how Anna is attached to Derek as well. I can tell she cares a lot about him. I'm happy for you both and for the family you're building."

Emily smiled. She turned to look at the living room. "Anna, sweetie, grandma is going, come to say bye to her, please."

Anna ran to her mother. "Give her a hug, sweetie."

Anna reached out her little arms to hug Ambassador, and ran back to play with Jack.

"Well, the party was great. I'm keeping a bank account for her as you know, and as a gift I put a little more than usual this month."

"Oh, mother, you don't have to."

"I know, Em. But, let me do this." Ambassador took Emily's hands and patted on them." Look at me. I only have you and her. Let me do this for her."

Emily hesitated. "Okay. Thank you."

========== / ==========

_**After the party**_

After the party, Derek had given the keys of his house to Fran and his sisters so they could go there to sleep. He stayed at Emily's to help her clean all the mess of the party. Anna was exhausted but she was too excited to sleep. Emily had given her a bath and put on her pajamas already.

"Can I put her to sleep?"

"Sure, Derek, I'll take a shower while, then."

Emily left the bathroom in her bathrobe and Derek wasn't there yet. She then went to Anna's bedroom. From the door, she watched, Derek was sitting on the armchair with Anna lying in his arms. The baby girl had her eyes closed, almost falling asleep, but she was still awake as she was rubbing Derek's ear with her little hand as if caressing it. "Sweet dreams, baby, Daddy's here." He was whispering. He was so involved with such good feelings that he took a while to realize that Emily was observing them. He looked at her and smiled. She smiled back.

She was so sure that this was what she wanted for her daughter, definitely, also because she knew that children choose their parents and not the other way around, and Anna had made her choice.

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading.**


	24. Chapter 24

**I OWN NOTHING**

**========== / ==========**

_**Six Months later**_

"JJ, it isn't necessary the whole team to investigate this case."

"So, just send part of the team, but we can't ignore this call, Hotch. The girl said she's been abused since she was twelve. She's fifteen now, and she said there were others before her. I can go there and talk to all girls around this age and try to find out who made the call since she didn't want to identify herself."

"JJ, you're seven months pregnant. I can't do this with you. I'd prefer you stay here at the BAU. I'll send Prentiss and Reid."

**========== / ==========**

Emily and Reid were sent to a supposedly religious ranch to talk to the girls and try to find out which one of them had made the phone call denouncing an inappropriate relationship with the leader. Once there, Emily was interviewing a girl when, suddenly, Cyrus and a group of men burst into the room carrying automatic weapons.

Unbeknownst to Prentiss and Spencer, the police was about to raid the place. Officers broke down the doors and rushed the school and church. Cyrus' gang, then, opened fire against the police. In the course of the shoot out, a state police officer that was accompanying Emily and Spencer was killed by this shooting. Under the threat of killing all the members of the sect by mass suicide, the police finally pulled back, leaving Prentiss and Reid hostages of Cyrus.

**========== / ==========**

_**Meanwhile, at the BAU**_

JJ walked into the bullpen in a rush. "Morgan?"

"What's up?"

She turned on the TV, on the news channel: _'What is reportedly being called 'a routine questions', and answers meeting by Colorado child services had turned into a violent and deadly standoff between Colorado authorities and a fringe religious group known as the separatist sect.'_

Derek freaked out at the moment. He got up and yelled, "Hotch!"

Hotch came out of his office.

"… The TV, Emily and Reid."

'…_Tactical warrant service team into a forced retreat after losing a 30-minute gun battle, no one knows for sure how many people are inside. It is believed at least three of the child service members are still trapped within the ranch.'_

"Let's go."

The team arrived outside the ranch. Rossi was assigned primary negotiating duties by Hotch. At that moment, someone named A. G. Wells, who had political interests for the next elections, showed up there, shouting, demanding information. Hotch threatened him for having neglected the bad things had been happening in the ranch.

"Get off my crime scene."

The man stepped out, fuming. He wouldn't leave things that way.

Hours later, the negotiation was evolving. Rossi was talking to Cyrus on the speaker as the whole team could hear.

"This is Benjamin Cyrus. Who am I talking to?"

"David Rossi, I'm a F.B.I. agent. We sent the state police away. There're just us and the local sheriff. All we want to do is resolve this before anyone else gets hurt."

"Then leave us alone."

"I'm afraid we can't do that, Benjamin. Please, just put down your guns and come out."

"We're believers, Dave. We believe that god says what he means and means what he says. His laws don't depend on what state you live in."

"I have no issue with your beliefs."

"You don't. But the state does."

"I can't answer for other people."

"Oh, God will answer for everyone in the final battle I've foreseen."

"That's why I'm here- to make sure that this is not that battle."

"We shall see."

"Now, the three child services workers…"

"One of them is dead. It wasn't us."

Derek felt all the agony of the world. He stopped breathing. The whole team had painful expression on their faces as Rossi made a huge effort to keep calm and talking.

"I need a name to inform the family."

"Her name was Nancy Lunde."

Not that her life had less value than Emily's but Derek could breathe again although he was still worried because she was still there as a hostage.

_**Next day**_

Rossi entered the place bringing the supplies Cyrus had demanded. He could see that both Emily and Reid were okay, in the chapel. Once Rossi was gone, Cyrus began pouring cups of wine for everybody. Emily and Spencer, meanwhile, were watching Jessie's body language in reaction to Cyrus.

_**Hours later, outside the ranch**_

JJ approached the team showing Hotch, specifically, the last news about the case, on TV.

"You need to see this."

'_Now well into its second day, the standoff at the separatist sect ranch has now been taken over by the F.B.I. There was much speculation in regard to hostages. But anonymous sources inside the state attorney general's office have told us there is an undercover F.B.I. agent currently being held inside the ranch_.'

"HOTCH, WE NEED TO GO IN THERE!"

"We can't, Derek. He'll kill everybody."

"He'll kill Emily and Reid already! You heard the news. Cyrus must know about them now and who they really are!"

They stopped arguing because they started to hear Cyrus talking to Emily and Reid through the wiretapping.

"Which one of you is it?"

Reid and Emily had no idea what Cyrus was talking about or what was happening.

"Which one of you is the F.B.I. agent?"

Emily remained quiet while Spencer said something. "Why do you think one of us is an F.B.I. Agent?"

"God will forgive me for what I must do." Cyrus put the gun on Reid's head while Emily opened her mouth in shock.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." Reid muttered.

"One of you does. Who is it?"

Realizing he'd actually kill Reid, Emily had no choice. "Me. It's me."

Cyrus then putted the gun down while his accomplice kept pointing another gun at them, and dragged Emily by the hair to a pantry.

The team was hearing when she started to be spanked by Cyrus for the next fifteen minutes. All that she could think was Anna.

**========== / ==========**

_**At the same time, at Emily's home**_

"Why are you crying, sweetie? You are fed, everything seemed so fine. We were playing and laughing a minute ago."

"_Me wan mama now, me wan mama now, peas, Mawy, me wan mama, me wan mama now, peas…" _(I want Mama, now, I want Mama, now, please, Mary, I want Mama, I want Mama now, please).

"Your mama is working, Anna, you know that. Please, be quiet, let's play again, look at this doll and I'll make her voice. She'll be here as soon as it's possible. Hey, Anna do you want to play with me?" She imitated a voice pretending she was a doll.

"_Me wan mama now, me wan mama now, peas, Mawy peas."_ (No, I want Mama, now, I want Mama, now, please, Mary, please.)

**========== / ==========**

_**Colorado**_

Despite the fact Emily was thinking about her baby, she needed to be focused on the case, she was sending messages to the team during the spanking, saying she could take it, and they need to wait before breaking into the place.

Outside the ranch, Derek first reaction was throwing away the headphones in anger. "We should have broken into the place before this happens!"

"You want me to take you out of this case?"

"No fucking way, Hotch! You'll have to arrest me first."

Trying to regain his calmness, he added, "It won't happen again."

"You need to stay focused, Morgan."

_**Inside the ranch**_

Emily had her hands tied behind her back. She was on a bed, locked in a room. She was fighting back tears. Every time she was in dangerous situations like this all that she could think of was Anna. She could not help feeling a pain in the heart imagining what would happen to her little baby if one day something bad happened to her. Would she be sent to a foster home or, at best, she would be raised by Ambassador's employees. Emily didn't want any of these options.

She made an effort to focus of the case again. She was trying to get some attention from outside, using her boots to raise the louver.

"If you can hear me, I know you're coming. I can try to get the women and children down to the tunnel, but I need to know when you're coming." She repeated this until she saw a red light from some flashlight outside.

"Okay, I got you. What time?"

Morgan used the red light to point three, meaning 3 am.

"Okay, understood. Reid is on the first floor somewhere with Cyrus. And please remember there are children here. Someone's coming."

"Hold on, love." Derek whispered from outside, more to himself.

Emily warned Jessie's mother about the explosives and asked her to gather her daughter and the rest of the women and children and get them into the basement before 3 a.m.

As Cyrus was rigging the place with dynamite, the police made the raid, along with the BAU team.

Derek entered from the downstairs and found Jessie's mother leading the children toward him. He finally saw Emily with the group. Rossi was leading everybody out of there while Derek talked to Emily.

"Emily, you all right?"

"They've wired explosives. This building's going blow up."

"Where's Reid?"

"He's in the chapel with Cyrus."

"You have to get out of here."

"No! We've going to get Reid!"

"I will get Reid. Get out of here. Get to safety. Go now."

Meanwhile, Cyrus was about to detonate the explosives when Derek entered the chapel and killed him with a clean shot. At that moment, Jessie entered the chapel and saw Cyrus lying dead on the floor. She reached for the detonator.

"Run!" Spencer screamed

The place exploded in the night. Derek and Spencer came stumbling out into the front yard, much to the relief of Emily, Rossi, Hotchner and JJ.

Spencer came to hug Emily grateful for what she had done for him, while she shared a look with Morgan.

========== / ==========

_**Hours later, in the jet**_

Emily took the book away from Reid that he was reading in order to get his attention.

"Hey, I need you to listen to me. What Cyrus did to me is not your fault. It was my decision, and I'd do it again. Do you hear me?"

Reid nodded.

"Thank you."

Morgan approached them and sat next to Emily, giving her a mug of tea.

"Thank you."

"No problem. How're you feeling?"

"I'm okay. It takes at least three hundred Benjamin Cyrus to break me down."

She laid her head on his shoulders. He kissed her head and took one of her hands as her other hand was holding the mug.

"I know how tough you are, but I felt so scared, terrified of losing you, not only for me but for Anna as well."

There was no way Emily disagreed.

"This got me thinking about something, Emily."

"What is that?"

"We talk at home."

"…But not tonight, Derek. I just want to go home to stay with my baby girl."

========== / ==========

It was around midnight when Emily entered her apartment. TV was still on. She stepped in the living room. Mary woke up as she was sleeping on the couch near Anna.

"Mary? Sorry that I woke you."

"No problem. Wow, what happened to your face?"

"Ah, the case, this is nothing. Why are you and Anna sleeping on the couch?"

Emily approached Anna sitting on the edge of the sofa.

"She had a very hard time to sleep and she didn't want to go to her bedroom. She said she wanted to wait for you. For three times, I tried to take her to the bedroom after she slept and she woke in my arms. So, I put her to sleep here in the couch."

"But, why? Does she have a fever or something?"

"No, nothing, I have no idea, in one minute, we were laughing and playing, then the next minute she started to cry for no reason, asking for you all the time. Emily, I never had this issue with Anna before. How could you explain it? She was laughing one second and then the next second she was crying for you."

Emily was caressing Anna on the head while Mary was talking.

"You can go sleep now, Mary. I'll take her to my room."

========== / ==========

_**Few weeks (and cases) later**_

The team finally had a weekend off. Derek was at Emily's place. After dinner, Derek was playing with Anna while Emily was finishing dealing with the dishes.

"_Dada, peas, me wan be pane again_." (Daddy, please, I want to be plane again)

Derek was flying Anna like a plane and she was laughing hard.

"Princess Anna airplane landing down on Morgan Airport, this is controller tower."

"This airplane Anna needs to crash landing in her bed right now, Dada. It's way past bedtime for her."

Derek put Anna to sleep and went to Emily's room.

"Did she take this long to sleep?"

"No, actually she fell asleep half an hour ago. I was just observing her. She's so adorable. It's so good to spend time with her. It's like a fresh air of life."

Emily smiled. "I certainly know this."

Derek sat on the bed next to her. She was passing cream on her legs.

"Can we have that talk now?"

"What talk?"

"Emily that case with Cyrus really opened my eyes to something and I think it might have opened yours, too."

Emily put the pot of cream on the nightstand. Derek looked at her to talk.

"What if the worst case scenario happened to you? Thank God it did not! In the field, no matter how very careful we are, we know things can happen for the worst anytime. What would happen to Anna? The law might send her to a foster home, and think of the damage this would do to Anna, emotionally and psychologically."

"I know, Derek, I don't even want to think about this."

"But we have to, Emily."

"When I was there, tied up to that bed, knowing the place could blow up anytime, she was all that I could think about."

"I want to do something that would be insurance for you and Anna."

"Derek you know with our job, nothing can be insured."

Emily had no idea what he was trying to say. He had to be clear. "I want to adopt her."

She frowned and opened her mouth. She wasn't expecting this.

"So, I'd have all the rights of a father if something happens to you, Emily. I already love her like my own daughter and I know that you know this is the right thing to do."

Emily was totally speechless. She opened her mouth, staring at Derek in the eyes. He had that serious expression, really meaning each word he was saying.

"Oh, Derek, wow, I—I don't know what to say."

"The only thing I want, Emily, is to protect Anna and be always there for her. I know that with our job something can happen to me too. But I'd like her to have both me and you."

"Derek, this is such a big deal. A-are you sure?"

"I've never been so sure of anything in my life."

========== / ==========

Anna was two years and eight months old when they would finally make official her adoption by Derek, after doing all the paperwork.

"Hello?"

"Emily, are you ready? I'm leaving home now."

"I was, but now, just one second that I went to the bathroom, Anna made a mess with my purse. I can't find anything, my credit cards, the keys, all my makeup are spread on the floor and… A—are you laughing, Derek? This isn't funny!"

"Relax, Princess. I'm sure she had no idea what she was doing."

"I'm going to talk to her and you can come soon or we will be there late. Bye."

Emily bent down to try to gather her belongings to put them back in her purse while she was talking to Anna.

"You can't touch mama things like this, Anna. These are very important things. You can't go in my purse, do you understand? This is only for mama, all of mama things only mama can touch, not Anna."

"_Me sowy, mama, me sowy_." (I'm sorry, Mama, I'm sorry.)

"You can only touch your toys, okay?"

"_Mama tings not toy_." (Mama's things aren't toy.)

"Very good, Anna, Mama's things are for me to play with it so to speak, only I can touch them, because these are adult things in there that could hurt you as well, so please do not touch anything ever again without asking Mama, okay, you promise, sweetie?"

"_Me pomise ask mama befoe I toss anyting_." (I promise to ask Mama before touch anything.)

"That's okay, honey, the important thing is that you understood. Now, do you know who is coming to pick us up?"

"Dada! Dada!"

"Very Good! And you know where're going?"

"_To the pak_!" (To the park.)

"No sweetie, Mama told you already. Now, you're going to have Daddy's name on your name too, remember? That's why we have to go somewhere and then we're going to celebrate at Uncle Dave's"

The girl nodded but of course she had no idea what Emily was talking about.

"Jack?"

"Yes, sweetie, very good, Jack will also be there, and that's why daddy's coming to pick us up."

"_Mama, me wuv Dada tis mus_." (Mama, I love Dada this much.) The girl opened her arms wide. By this time Emily had finished collecting her things and put in her purse again, but she was still bent down. She looked at her baby.

"You do? I love Dada too and I love you."

Anna ran to hug her mother.

"_Me wuv you to, Mama_." (I love you too, Mama)

"Oh, baby, you and I are going to be so happy with Dada. That's all I ever want for you. Even before you were born, I had to make hard choices that I only did for your best interest. I just hope when you are old enough, you'll understand."

Anna reached out one hand to Emily, saying, "_Let goe, Mama, let goe_." (Let's go, Mama, let's go).

"We're waiting for your Dada, Anna."

"_Why Dada take so lon? He dwive so sowin_?" (Why does Dada take so long? He drives so slow.)

"Your Dada always drives very carefully to make sure he arrives, okay? This is not slow, he has a lot of reasons to always be careful and you're the most important reason, my sweetie."

"Call, Dada, Mama."

"I cannot call Dada now, Anna, he is driving and will not be able to talk, he'll be here very soon, I promise. I know someone your age do not know the meaning and word patience."

"_Me no undastan, Mama_." (I don't understand, Mama.)

"Well, patience means we have to wait and we have no choice whether we like it or not, understand my darling?"

"_Me tink so me no like waiting_." (I think so, I don't like to wait.)

Emily smiled. Anna always had countless arguments.

Few minutes later, Derek finally arrived. Anna ran to the door to welcome him, screaming with joy. "_Dada, wha took you so lon_?" (Dada, why did you take so long?)

"Derek, your little girl almost called the FBI, CIA, Interpol combined, you not being here yet."

Derek had Anna in his arms, playing with her. "That's why she is anxious to become a Morgan, right, Princess?" The girl was laughing hard as Derek was throwing her up.

"I don't want to let you down, but she's anxious to play with Jack."

"I know she's anxious to become a Morgan."

"Speaking of Jack, have you talked to Hotch?"

"I called him before leaving home, he'll meet us there."

"It was so kind of him to offer to do this for us."

"Well, he is the best for this."

**========== / ==========**

_**A few hours later, at Rossi's**_

Derek had Anna in his arms. "Well, I'm glad I have my family here and all our friends for this small celebration. I know you all are curious but you'll understand soon. Today, I gave a big step in my life. I became a real father, by choice. I chose this little girl here to be my legitimate daughter before the law, and I think she chose me as well. I'm giving her my name. In the beginning, it was because Emily and I wanted the assurance that if one day something bad happens to Emily, in the field, Anna isn't taken from me. But signing the papers this morning at the notary's office, all the good things I lived with her came to my mind, I could listen to her sweet little voice calling me Dada, I could feel the way she touches my ear when I'm making her sleep in my arms, and when she asks to play with her more over and over again, even when I'm exhausted from spending days in the field, I realized that the only gain was mine, because she compensates all the bad things and sadness that we face from each hard case, bringing nothing more than peace and love to my life."

Everybody was totally thrilled, of course. They heard Penelope saying, "Derek, it took me hours to put these false eyelashes on. I'm going to kill you for making me cry the Atlantic and Pacific oceans together!"

Ambassador gave a few steps so no one would see a tear rolling down her face. But Fran looked at her and saw. Ambassador wiped the tear out using the tip of her middle finger, "Something got caught in my eyes."

People were approaching Derek to greet him.

"Wait, wait, wait, not so fast. I still haven't finished. My baby girl here and I have something to do still. She'll help me, right, Princess."

"Yay!" Anna yelled in joy.

"Only something could make this moment more special and make my life more complete. When I saw Emily for the first time, a couple of years ago, I instantly felt a connection to her. I was totally mesmerized by her eyes and beauty. When I looked into her eyes I could tell what a loving, caring person she was. I feel so blessed that we started a beautiful friendship along with our working partnership and everything seemed so right that we couldn't deny our feelings for each other."

Of course Emily was totally thrilled staring at Derek, just like everybody. Derek took a small package from his pants pocket and gave to Anna, putting her on the floor, "Now, do like Dad taught you." Anna ran to Emily to deliver the package to her, while Derek was finishing his speech, directly to Emily, now.

"…After a case, when I usually go to my old house, I don't feel like I'm home anymore. I only feel like I'm home when I'm with Anna and you, Emily. So, will you marry me?"

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading and the past comments.**

**Please, leave a comment.**


	25. Chapter 25

**I own nothing**

**========= / ==========**

"Marriage is a spiritual, emotional and physical union of a man and a woman; it is an oath that we want to spend the rest of our lives next to that person. Here we have these two people that decided to take this important step. Ms. Emily Prentiss, are you absolutely sure that you want to be with this man, Derek Morgan, and respect and love him for the rest of your life?"

They were holding hands in front of each other.

"Yes."

"Mr. Derek Morgan, are you absolutely sure that you want to be with this woman, Emily Prentiss, and respect and love her for the rest of your life?"

"Yes."

"Are you both willing to make a promise that you'll make the love be bigger than any hitch or obstacle in this new path you're making now, or if the love wasn't there anymore, you'll only have to use the honesty?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

The wedding party was at Rossi's, along with the celebration of Anna's three years old birthday party.

**========= / ==========**

_**A few weeks later**_

"_Mama, I don wan stay, peas_." (Mommy, I don't want to stay, please.)

Emily bent down to talk to her.

"Anna, sweetie, we've talked about this at home, remember? Every child has to go to school. It's a nice place where we learn a lot of new things. Mama went to school as a child, same with Daddy. I promise you'll like it."

"_Why me can no stay wit you and dada at wok? Me can learn moe fom you, dada and aunty Pen. You and dada teech me moe tings tan skool_." (Why I can't stay with you and Daddy at work? I can learn more from you, Daddy and aunt Pen. You and Daddy teach me more things than school.)

Derek also bent down to talk to her.

"Honey, you were so excited when I bought all these nice cool things for you, the mermaid backpack, crayons, ruler, eraser, glue, not to mentioning the delicious things Mommy prepared for you in the lunchbox."

"_Me wan use thes tings wit you and mama, not here, evating so scawy, me faid of these stwange people and tis pace, peas, dada_." (I want to use these things with you and Mama, not here. Everything is so scary, I'm afraid of these strange people and this place, please, daddy.)

"Anna, everyone, even me, when I was your age at this spot as you on my first day of school. I saw this new place, new people and it all seems so scary and strange but you want to know what happened? I started to enjoy making new friends here, playing with them. We're all afraid of new things as it feels scary, weird and strange but we get used to it soon and then we start to enjoy it."

Meanwhile, Emily was talking to one of the teachers.

"There's a boy who also studies here. His name is Jack Hotchner. Where is he?"

"Well, the classes started already. He's in the class."

"Would it be a problem if I ask you to call him here? It's because they're close friends, since when they started to walk and talk, it might help a bit."

"Okay, I'll get him."

"Thank you."

Emily bent down again to talk to Anna.

"Anna, your Dada is right, everyone was scared of their first day in school, you're not the only one. Mama was afraid too, but your grandma wasn't even there for me, I had to deal all alone with it. We are here for you, sweetie, and very, very soon, we'll be here to pick you up and take you home, or sometimes, Mary will do this. Everything will be fine."

Jack approached them, with the teacher.

"Hey, little man Jack."

Emily kissed the boy and she had one hand on each head, Anna and Jack.

"Anna, I was little scared too, coz I didn't know anyone here, but they're cool, I have a lot of friends now, and you can stay with me."

Emily was dying inside but she was doing her best to keep calm and controlled. She bent down again.

"Anna, the same way Mama has to go to work, you have to go to school, every day, Jack will be here the whole time with you. Don't you like Jack?"

Anna nodded.

"Don't you like playing with him all day?"

She nodded again.

"So, sweetie, it's like you playing with him all day and at the end of the day, I'll be here to pick you up. Also, you have to be nice to your teachers, okay?"

Emily caressed Anna on the face and kissed her. She had to go out of there soon and she knew that.

"Mrs. Morgan you can be rest assured. We'll take good care of her. We have a lot of methods here to keep her very busy, during all day, with a lot of good activities to do, like paintings, children's theaters, songs, a lot of nice things, and if there's anything wrong, you'll call you at the same minute."

"I know you will. My co-worker recommended this school for me, and he said amazing things about here, Jack's father. But even so, it's hard for me."

Meanwhile Derek was helping with this situation.

"Hey, Jack, can you show me and Anna your class?"

"Sure."

There they go, Anna giving hands with Derek, and Jack to the class. She had her mermaid backpack on her backs. Emily let a tear roll down her face as Anna wasn't seeing it.

In the class, all the other children were doing painting and drawing. Jack showed his chair, and Anna's chair, near him.

But when Derek was about to leave the class, Anna grabbed his neck."

"_No, Dada, peasss, no_." (No, Daddy, please, no.)

And there was the super badass Derek Morgan with a big lump in his throat. There wasn't too much that could be done. He only gave her a big tight hug.

"Anna, look at Daddy, I love you. You know that, right?"

The girl nodded.

"Do you think Mama and I would do something bad to you, sweetie?"

She stayed quiet.

"You're going to stay here while Mama and I are at work, learning cool things, playing with Jack and others friends, also, if you don't want to stay here, you'll make Mama sad, you want this?"

She shook her head indicating 'no'.

"So, sweetie, please, be good to me and Mama, be a good girl. Daddy will miss you a lot too, but very, very soon, we'll be together again."

Derek kissed her on the head and left the classroom, without even thinking, but in the corridor, he could hear when Anna started to cry hard, calling him back, _"Dada, peas"._ His will was to come back there and take Anna in his arms out of that place, but he knew he couldn't do this, so he just kept on walking until he met Emily in the reception.

"How is she?"

"She'll be fine."

========== / ==========

_**In the car, to the BAU**_

"Why is this so much harder for us than when we have to chase a tough serial killer for many days, all that seem to be a piece of cake in comparison to our little girl going to school for her first day of school."

"Thank God Jack is there with her, Derek. Hope we don't have a case so we can come to pick her up, at least, on her first day.

========== / ==========

_**Six months later**_

He hated himself. His blood had become black, bitter. Painfully, he dropped a tear, which seemed to weigh tons. What he thought that could be love, was rotting in his chest now, giving way to a growing hatred carefully watered in the depths of his soul. Hatred willingly cultivated to deflower at the appropriate moment. In that totally closed cell, getting only almost a wash of pigs as a meal, only once per day, after the escape have gone all wrong, he was locked up for months without seeing the sunlight. Loneliness, hell, anger, hatred, he would take care so that these feelings never end up becoming increasingly intense. He would save all of them for the correct people. Ian felt like his heart was ripped out of him that he was no longer a human, but just an empty shell without a soul, in a total deep dark hole that was hell and he was the product of this hell, a totally demonic and devilish seed. He had nothing to live for now but for revenge.

========== / ==========

_**A few weeks later**_

They were sitting at their desks at the bullpen, when Penelope approached Emily.

"Emily, I found this man and he was kind of lost in the entrance of the BAU, asking about you, with his posh accent. Is he someone you really know or should I call the security?"

Emily looked to the glass door and she could see Clyde behind it. She thought for a while.

"He's someone I used to know."

"Ah, oh, and what should I do?"

Emily thought about it a little more and decided to go talk to him.

"Well, I'll talk to him, Pen. Thank you."

Morgan was doing his best to stay focused on his paperwork, while Emily passed behind him to go to meet Clyde.

"You must have a good reason for you to show up here at my work place."

"How sweet, Em, hello to you, too."

"Clyde, please, say what you want. I'm busy."

"Do I need a good reason to see you, my dear Em? The main reason for me is to capture myself in your beauty which I definitely miss, isn't that a good enough reason?"

"Okay, you already saw me, bye."

She was turning around. "Hey, hey, hey… I'm dealing with business here in DC, and, well, it's almost lunch time and I was thinking maybe we could relive the old times, having lunch together."

She looked at him as if it was a big pain and sacrifice for her.

He made a puppy face, "Please."

"Clyde, I only have time for a quick coffee."

"Okay."

"I'll get my purse."

Morgan only observed her taking her purse and going to the elevator with that man he didn't have any idea who he was. The curiosity was simmering inside him.

_**In the coffee shop nearby**_

"So, how is Anna?"

"She's great, thank you." She merely said.

"I was thinking of going to your place so I could see her…"

She cut him off, "Clyde, no, I don't want any connection between you and my daughter. I'm sorry. You're part of past so painful to me, I just started to move on with my life, and now that I barely think about Interpol's time, you just show up, and make me remember about everything again. Don't get me wrong, but I don't think we should keep any kind of contact or anything. Sorry if I sound rude and yes you'll always be a friend to me but I just want to move on and live in the present life and forget about my past life with Interpol, Ian and everything else."

"Move on? So, this thing in your finger is really a wedding ring?"

"Yes. This is a wedding ring but what I'm saying here has nothing to do if I'm married to someone or not."

"Okay, Emily, I got it. It's just that I'm going to an undercover mission for the next months, maybe years, I don't know, and I'm aware that I might not make it out alive from it, so I wanted to see you."

"That's really sweet of you, Clyde, and I'm sure you'll make it."

"I know I will be okay and make it but we never know, do we? So, just in case I wanted to see your beautiful face one more time and be graced by your wonderful company one last time if the worst case scenario does happen to me, but knock on wood, I know all will be fine."

_**Back at the BAU**_

They were only doing paperwork. Emily came back and finished her things. By the end of the day, she approached Morgan.

"I'm going now. I want to pick up Anna at school today. She'll be happy. Can you go now?"

"Not yet, Emily, I have to finish this first and I still have a meeting with Hotch and Rossi."

"Okay, then will you get a cab or do you want me to come to pick you up?"

"I can get a cab."

"Okay, then, bye."

"Bye, Emily."

========== / ==========

_**At evening, at home**_

It was around seven when Derek arrived home. Emily was having dinner with Anna.

"Awwww, What is my Princess eating? This seems so delicious."

Derek kissed her on the cheek. Normally, he would kiss Emily too, but not this time.

"_Dada bing pisa, me wan eat pisa evaday_." (Did you bring pizza? I want to eat pizza every day.)

"So sorry, my sweetness, but you already enjoying a delicious meal, so I thought no need for this today, but I promise you very soon we'll have pizza again, how does that sound?"

"_Okie dokie Dada, me full anyways now, but if pomise pisa soon, yay!" _(Okay, Daddy, I am full anyways, but if you promise pizza soon, yay!)

Emily saw that he didn't sit with them to eat, "Are you not going to join us?"

"I'll take a shower first. I'm not hungry now."

This cold and robotic way was very unlikely behavior from him, but she accepted his answer. "Okay."

She finished giving Anna's dinner and put the girl to play near her while she was dealing with the dishes. As soon as she came out of the kitchen, he entered there to eat.

She was on the couch, in her laptop, Anna was near here, with her laptop toy on her lap. From time to time, Anna wanted to play with her mother's, so she typed there.

"Anna, you have yours, this one is for adults only, please."

"_But yois can do moe that my cannot not, no faie, Mama." _(But yours can do more than mine. Not fair, Mama.)

"Well that's because adult ones do adult things that can be so unsafe for someone your age, so you need to not play with adult things only your toys and things."

_**Few minutes later**_

They were still in the living room, on the couch.

"Well, Anna, let's go to bed, it's late for you, sweetie."

"_Me wan you and Dada to wead my bedtime stowy, like befoe_." (I want you and Daddy to read my bedtime story, like before.)

Before Emily could say anything, Derek answered.

"How about I do this by myself tonight, Anna, Mama is busy tonight."

Emily instantly thought to herself, _'What the fuck, I'm not busy!'_

But she didn't want to argue in front of Anna, even because Derek was already taking her to her bedroom.

Emily stayed in the living room. She knew Derek would come back there because of a game he wanted to watch on television, and sure enough, not too much time after, he was there. He picked up the remote control and turned on the TV.

"Turn it off, Derek!"

He looked at her, "What?"

"Turn the TV off. We need to talk first."

"Ah, now you want to talk…"

"What is going on? Why did you say that I was busy to Anna when you know perfectly well I was not? During all night you're giving me the deep freeze treatment that it is colder than Alaska and the Arctic cold combined. You want to tell me what is bothering you?"

He kept on looking at the television.

"I'm talking to you." She insisted.

"I want to watch my game."

"Not before we talk!"

"Okay, then, Emily, talk! Tell me everything I'm so dying to know."

"What are you talking about, Derek? You're talking in riddles, just go straight to the point."

"I saw you talking to a gentleman and although I didn't hear what you two were talking about, I can tell the talk was intense and wasn't about business. I can see in his blue eyes and appearance that he resembles Anna, where did you go with him? Why did you not tell me about him and that he is Anna's father?"

Emily had a shocked reaction, total O mouth shaped formation.

"Derek what a huge assumption you made here. You know what the word 'assume' means right? It makes an ASS out of U and ME. You are totally wrong! He is NOT Anna's father! He is a part of my past. I didn't expect him to show up. I didn't do anything wrong. You act like I went with him and had sex. I agreed to have coffee with him because he came from so far. I told him my life moved on and that I don't want anything with my past anymore."

"So why did you never told me anything about it Emily?"

"I thought you had understood, Derek, that I do NOT want to bring my past to our lives, to ANNA'S life!"

"I did understand in the past, Emily, when we had just met each other, but now, it makes no sense! We're married now. We have a commitment for life! We are not supposed to keep secrets from each other. You know everything about my life. I can say I know nothing about yours."

"Who do you think I am, Derek? Some kind of an E.T. disguised as a human being or what? Why is it so hard for you to just trust me?"

"Trust you?Do you want to talk about trust? The only person that has trust issues here is you! You do not trust me at all to tell me everything about your past. You know every detail of my past even the ones I wanted to keep to myself, but I shared every detail no matter how painful it was for me to do so."

She got up from the couch and cross her arms. "This is ridiculous. I don't even know why we're arguing. Derek, if you were not arrested in Chicago, would you honestly say every sad and terrible detail that happened to you in your past?"

His tone of voice was back to normal now. "Emily… I, I…"

"No! I don't want to hear a word from you, right now. I'm not the kind of woman you're used to dealing with, Derek. The only reason you were so pissed at me is because I did not give you a word about where I was going and with whom. But you better rethink your ways, because I will NEVER do this!"

She made her path to the stairs, but she came back to complete, "Even though we are married, that does not mean you own me and that I have to report every move I make like who I have coffee with, an if you are not happy with this, you better say now."

"Emily, I'm sorry, okay!"

"Not tonight. Good night, Derek."

She went upstairs, leaving Derek thinking to himself, 'You knew who you were marrying and fell in love with, the most stubborn , badass woman in whole universe that will soon make you admit yourself to the nearest asylum very soon.'

Derek then for the next two hours watched the game and then went upstairs. It was past eleven at night. Entering their bedroom, he could hear Emily coughing weirdly. She had the door of the bathroom opened so he could realize she was in there. From the door, he saw she had her head almost inside the toilet bowl.

"Emily, what's wrong?"

"Leave me alone."

"Jesus Christ, Emily, you can take a break in your stubbornness for a second? You are really in needing of help."

"I don't need any help! Or you think you can vomit in my place?"

She vomited again.

"Geez! Wow… what did you eat?"

"Derek, I'm… going… to… ask you… just… once, L-E-A-V-E M-E A-L-O-N-E! This is all your fault."

She vomited again. Derek was totally lost in the situation.

"Emily, I think I should take you to the hospital. You're scaring me."

He helped her to get up from the floor. She washed her mouth on the sink.

"Derek, if you can scare yourself only seeing a woman vomiting, I can only imagine you with a woman in labor."

She passed by him to the bedroom. Derek took a while to realize what she said.

"A-are you pregnant?"

She was sitting on the bed, recovering from the discomfort of vomiting.

"Derek, I'm so pissed at you, but, this moment was supposed to be happy."

Derek opened a smile the same size of the world. He sat near her on the bed.

"Emily, oh my God." He placed the hand on her belly.

"Derek, I-I'm not sure. But I already felt like this before, with Anna."

_**Forty minutes later**_

Derek had gone to buy a pregnancy test at the drugstore near there. They were sitting on the bed, waiting for the result together.

========== / ==========

**Thanks for reading and pleaseeeee pleasseee leave a comment! Thank you!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Guys, I'm sooooooo running out of time I don't have even time for betas. So, I'm sorry for the bad grammar.**

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

They were sitting on the bed looking at the little stick.

"These are the longest five minutes of my whole life."

"Derek, you better keep calm because I won't be able to handle with my messed up hormones and with a thirty eight years old decompensated man, please."

"I—I can't be calm, we're having a baby!"

Emily rolled her eyes, turning them from the stick, staring at him. She didn't even have to open her mouth.

"I—I know, I know, we've Anna already, but now, I'll be able to be by your side the whole time! Til the moment the baby is born!"

Seeing how Derek was anxious and excited, "I'm not sure if it's a good idea."

"Princess, c'mon, Emily, wow, this is soo… awesome… I—I don't know, I…"

"Derek, you shut up and look at the stick."

He did.

"Hm, it shows pink, what does pink mean? I can't remember." He took the box of the test to reread the instructions."

Emily spared him from having to reread the instructions again, "I'm pregnant, Derek."

He dropped the box and looked at her. She was kind of smiling.

"I'm pregnant. I'm sure. I don't even need this test to know it. I know my body. I feel it. I'm pregnant."

"Oh, my God, Emily, there is so many people to tell here. First we need to tell Anna, then, my mom, my sisters, your mom, Garcia, JJ, Reid, Hotch, Rossi then I have to start to get things for the baby, maybe doing so repainting the nursery, baby supplies and…"

"Whoa, Whoa, Derek, calm down, take a deep breath, you're going to drive me crazy now that you would push me to labor right now. I think you should just give me a hug now."

He hugged her, "Emily, you make me so happy that I never thought I could be."

She broke the hug to look at him, "Derek, I was absolutely sure I could never let someone in my life even again, and you did it, that's because I love you."

"And I love you too."

"And…You don't know what it means to me that you love my baby daughter Anna like your own. You're such a wonderful loving father to her and you couldn't love her more if she was your own blood, but I'm so happy I can now give you your first blood child. We both created something so very special with our love, and this will bless our family even more."

========== / ==========

_**Next day, in the morning**_

They were sitting at the kitchen table for the breakfast.

"Anna, sweetie, Daddy and I have wonderful good news for you."

Anna got instantly excited, jumping up and down with joy, _"YAY! Whai is it, Mama? Can me have puppy or kittie, me wan?"_ (What is it, Mama? Can I have the puppy or the kittie I want?"

Emily looked at Derek and looked at the girl again. "No, sweetie, it's even better. Daddy and I will have a baby, a sibling for you to play with! Isn't it wonderful?"

From a big smile in happiness, her expression turned into a worried face.

"_Wondaful? No no no no no no no, this is terrible, me no wan, me refuze tis, me no wan baby to pay wit, stop tis now, me beg you. I yave you and Dada to pay wit, peas."_ (Wonderful? No, no, no, no, this is terrible. I don't want. I refuse this. I don't want a baby to play with, stop this now, I'm begging you. I have you and Daddy to play with, please.)

"Anna, sweetie, this is wonderful news for all of us, I promise, you'll like your little sister or brother."

"_NO, I wout like it, mama, peas, I pefer a puppy or kittie_." (NO, I won't like it, Mama, please, I prefer a puppy or kittie.)

"Anna, come here."

The girl approached her mother. Emily took her to sit on her lap.

"Anna, this baby doesn't mean we'll love you any less, sweetie. Our love for you will always be strong and nothing or anyone will change this ever. You'll always have Mommy and Daddy always with you, I promise you."

"_No, mama, no, me no wan anota baby_." (No, Mama, no, I don't another baby.)

"Anna, look, I know this is huge shock for you. I know this is a lot to get used to but you'll see that this is true terrific gift for you, too. This baby will look up to his or her big sister in you. This baby will need you to guide him or her. You'll have so much fun playing with this baby."

"_Me no wan! Me no wan! Me will never like this, no need anota baby, stop tis now mama, peas."_ (I don't want! I don't want! I will never like this. There's no need of another baby. Stop this now, Mama, please.)

Emily and Derek shared a concerned look.

"Anna, you're making Mama sad talking like this. Do you want this?"

"_Me weally no wan tis dada but this baby is making me moe sad too_." (I really don't want this, Dada, but this baby is making sadder, too.)

Emily was caressing her in the head.

**========== / ==========**

They didn't talk about this until drop Anna at school on that morning. Derek was driving to the BAU.

"I never expected she would react like this, Derek."

"She'll get used, Emily, just don't worry too much."

"But if she doesn't?"

"She will…"

"We're together in this, Emily. It might take some time for her to get used to this and she might still refuse this idea for some time, but we'll continue to show how much we love her no matter how much babies we have and that nothing change that ever. We just need a lot of patience and love with her. Everything will be fine, Princess, I promise."

Emily stayed quiet for a while, looking out of the window while Derek was driving. After a few minutes, he broke the silence.

"Emily, also, I was thinking, now that you're pregnant, we should talk to Hotch and…"

She cut him off without even waiting him complete the sentence.

"Don't even continue, Derek. I know what you're going to tell and NO! I'm not sick. I'm going to work til the day this baby born."

"Mrs. Stubborness! I know you're going to work until the day the baby is born. I'm just asking you to take precautions. It isn't wise a pregnant woman to be on the field, running after guys with a gun like in our line of work."

"Derek, I can take care of myself, thanks."

========== / ==========

They entered the BAU straight to the meeting room because the rest of the team was already there.

"You two are late."

"Oops, sorry, Hotch."

"And Hotch, you better correct this."

Everybody looked at Emily after she said that."

"We're three now."

Penelope started to scream so loud. They all hugged, congratulating them. Since JJ had just come back from maternity leave, Hotch had to say something.

"Thank God you two ajusted the BAU pregnancy schedule. Are you sure you are not pregnant, too, Garcia?"

"No, Sir, I'm sure I'm not. The only love affair I have after that disaster with Kevin is with my laptop."

"Well, we should come back to the case now."

Right after the meeting, JJ held Emily's arms.

"From Mom to Mom, I know this look. You were supposed to seem like 'walking on water' right now, in happiness. What's up?"

"Oh, JJ, it's Anna. She didn't receive well this news. She doesn't want another baby."

"Emily, you know how kids can be. They test our limits to the point we give in doing what they want, but no, don't let her do it. Be strong, show all the time how much you love her, but do not give too much importance to it."

"Speaking is easier."

"I know. Everything you need I'm here."

"Thank you."

"Also, you know you must keep your feelings up, now. The baby can sense everything you feel."

"Anna took me completely by surprise with shock. I thought she would be a little happy but she said she rather have a kitten or puppy."

"Relax, Emily. She isn't old enough to understand. So far, she only thinks she lost Mommy and Daddy, give her time."

Emily smiled at her friend, but not too confident.

========== / ==========

_**A few days after**_

It was a Sunday when finally Emily and Derek were home from the last case, after spending days out. Emily was anxious to stay Anna since they had not seen her since she told she was going to have a baby.

They chose not to talk about the baby anymore. But after lunch, it was too cold to go outside, the three of them were under the blanket, on the couch, watching a movie and eating popcorn, when Anna opened her mouth.

"_Mama, why you wan anota baby? Me no good enuff for you and Dada?_" (Mommy, why do you want another baby? Am I not good enough for you and Daddy?)

Emily felt like she was being stabbed in the stomach. She couldn't even answer to this. Then, Derek did.

"Anna, I had sisters and this is best thing in world for me and I know you'll feel the same way about this baby. Your mama told me she was sad she had no brother or sisters to share her things. You'll have so much fun playing and sharing with your baby sister or brother. This is really happy news for your mama and I and we were hoping you'd feel this way, as well. I think if you give this a chance, you'll feel this is a true gift for you, too."

"_Me no like this can't we stay like tis, we so happy now_." (I don't like this Dada. Why can't we stay like this? We're so happy now.)

"Yes, we're very happy now, Anna. Mama and I will love you so much forever no matter what and this baby will make you and our family even happier, trust me."

Anna pouted, "_Dada, I tust you, but me no tust baby coz it will cwie and wake me up all nite foreva, it'll steal mama and dada fom me_." (Daddy, I trust you, but I don't trust the baby because it'll cry and wake me up all night forever. It'll steal Mommy and Daddy from me.)

"No, Anna, we'll always be here with you, nothing will change, I promise." Derek was trying his best.

"_Stop tis now, mama, retun this now, tis so unfair_." (Stop this now, return this now, this is so unfair.)

Emily was getting so uncomfortable and nervous, adding to it, her hormones were out of whack making her totally lose the control.

"Shut up, Anna! Enough! We're the parents, not you. You don't have to decide anything!"

Of course, Emily rushed upstairs, crying, because she had to go out of there. Anna started to cry hard because Emily yelled at her. Derek took the girl on his lap.

"Sweetie, you need to behave yourself and just stay quiet for awhile. If you cannot say anything nice about your baby sibling, then, do not say anything at all, okay?"

Between tears, she asked, "_What is sibing_?" (What is sibling?)

"We don't know if it is brother or sister yet and the word sibling means both."

"_Me no wan eder one_." (I don't want either one.) She was still crying.

"Anna, you'll have to accept this baby, because this baby is already coming and you can't upset Mama like this. You're making her cry and I'm sure you don't want this, right?"

"_I wan Mama now_." She was still crying and started to call for Emily, "_Mama? mama?_"

From upstairs, walking from one side to the other in her bedroom, Emily could hear Anna yelling calling for her. Of course she went for her daughter.

Derek was thinking to himself, 'Dear God, please, help us all. Make Anna able to love this baby very soon. I know we'll need a miracle for this and only. You can do this for us.'

Emily sat on the couch again and hugged her daughter. They didn't talk about the baby that day anymore

**========== / ==========**

_**Two months later**_

Emily was four months pregnant now.

"Derek, please, stop shaking your legs. You're making me nervous."

"I read all these magazines about babies. They should not keep us waiting so long."

"You heard, the doctor had an emergency, he just came back. We have to wait a bit more, please, be patient! If this is how you are acting now, what about the time of my labour? You'll being a total mess."

"Mr. and Mrs. Morgan, the doctor is waiting for you two."

"Thank you."

"Finally!"

She elbowed him.

"What?!"

She rolled her eyes and they went to the doctor's office.

After the basic questions about how she was feeling that was all part of the protocol, Emily was lying on the stretcher for the ultrasound. They'd find out if it was a boy or a girl. They were looking at the small screen of the machine but they couldn't distinguish what was that.

"Well, congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Morgan, I hope the castle is big enough because you two have another Princess on the way."

Derek instantly put a big smile on his face, Emily also smilied looking how Derek was happy.

"I must be the luckiest guy in the planet. I grew up surrounded by three Princesses, my sister and my mother. Now, I have my special Princess here, (he squeezed Emily's hands), and my Princess Anna at home, and another one on the way and look at me, surrounded by three Princesses again, but this time this is extra sweet."

Emily could only smile. She couldn't help but worry about Anna.

From the doctor's office, they went straight to pick up Anna at school and then go home.

**========== / ==========**

They thought it was better to tell Anna the news, so as soon as they got home, they talked to her. They sat on the couch while Anna was taking all the drawings she had made at school to show to her parents.

"Wow, that's really great sweetie… (Derek laughed) … but Mama is not that big…"

"_Me daw mama like tis coz me know her belly will soon be so muss big like tis pic."_ (I drew Mom like this because I know her belly will soon be big like in this pic.)

"Anna, I love it! You truly are a gifted artist but in that pic it looks like Mama swallowed an elephant!" Derek laughed.

Emily was more concerned. She was anxious to tell Anna.

"Sweetie, speaking of it, we have some news for you."

"_Last time, me didn't like the news, Mama_." (The last time, I didn't like the news, Mama.)

"Anna, you'll have a baby sister. Dada and I just found out it's a girl. You'll have a best friend to play with and to talk to and to share things."

The little girl started to hit her own head with both hands and pulling her own hair, pouting, stomping her feet in anger.

"_ME NO WAN! ME NO WAN! ME NO WAN! ME NO WAN! STOP TIS ! STOP TIS! STOP TIS!"_ (I don't want! Stop this!)

Derek had to grab Anna to make her stop hurt herself. "Hey, hey, Anna, stop, you're going to hurt yourself, honey."

Derek put her on his lap to calm her down. Emily was paralyzed. If it wasn't enough she started to cry, "_Dada, me no wan a baby sissy, peas, Dada, me no wan_."

Emily was fighting back tears. Her hormones were all over the place. She was on her limit for patience.

"Derek, you take care of her. I need a shower."

"Sure…You go ahead, Emily, have a warm relaxing shower, take as long as you need. My little Princess here and I will be alright." Derek was worried about Emily. Although the doctor had said it was all okay with the baby, four months pregnant wasn't a safe place yet. "Mama is sad you cannot share in this happy news. I know you might be sad about this baby because you think and worry that Mama and Dada will not love you anymore. This is so far from the truth, Anna. We'll always love you the very same and this baby just means more love to go around, she'll definitely love her big baby sister in you."

Derek was playing with her all the time and talking to her. She was telling him things about school.

Emily came downstairs to make dinner and eat with them as if nothing had happened. She was trying to not value Anna's attitude too much.

Derek was helping Emily with the dishes while Anna was in the living room, near there, playing with her things of the school.

When they finished, they went to the living room. Anna was there. She was painting her own arm and hands with a brown magic marker.

"Oh, Anna, what are you doing?" Emily bent down to talk to her.

"_Me wan be like Dada_." (I want to look be Dada.)

Emily was so moved and touched. "You don't have to do that, sweetie, that might not come out and it might ruin your beautiful skin. You look so beautiful the way you are and you don't need to change a thing ever."

Derek was also so touched. "Anna, my sweet princess, this mean so much to me that you want to be like me, but Mama is right, this might ruin your beautiful skin, and you look so beautiful and perfect the way you are. We don't want you to ever change your looks ever. I know you did this to show your love for me and I love you so much, too, Anna, always and forever, just like Mama feels the same for you too always."

**========== / ==========**

_**Later that night**_

After putting Anna to sleep, Derek and Emily were in bed.

"Derek, I'm so stressed with all this. I need some help."

"I'm so sorry, Princess, but she'll get used to this. She's only four, she's too young to understand, but if you want, we can look for professional help and…"

Well it wasn't exactly this kind of help she was talking about, "Derek, just shut up and fuck me."

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hi Guys, some people are asking me about when Doyle will come. Well, it's kind of soon now, just a few more chapters, I think 2 or 3.**

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

"Derek, where are you?"

"Emily, this is the fifth time you call me in less than ten minutes! I'll be there soon. What do you need?"

"What do I need? I have an almost four years old totally impatient here, asking where's my dress, where's my cake, where's Dada. Every five minutes! I have my hormones screaming at me and killing me at same time! I have a six months old baby inside my belly, kicking me all the time! It's been two hours since you've been gone! I should have done all this by myself."

"Emily, you need to take a deep breath, please, before you start going in early labor. I promise I'll be there as soon as I can. Don't forget you sent me on a shopping spree to get things for this party. This is a mega errand that it would take a normal person to complete in a zillion years. Everything is going to be okay, Princess."

"Ugh! Derek! Your calmness makes me more nervous! You better be here soon."

Emily hung up the phone.

"_Mama, me know why you so nevous. It's 'cause of tha baby. It's all baby's fault_." (Mama, I know why you are so nervous. It's because of the baby. It's all the baby's fault.)

"Anna, sweetie, can you please stay quiet for a little while? Let's fill the balloons! How about that?"

"Yay…"

Actually, Emily wanted the little girl to stay quiet for a while. But not too long after that, the doorbell was ringing. Anna ran to the door. "Dada, Dada…"

"It's not Dada Anna, if it was him, he would have just entered by using his keys"

Emily opened the door.

"Mother, what are you doing here so early?"

"That is nonsense, Em. I'm not a normal guest, I'm family and it's normal to be here early and be the first one to arrive. Is it a crime I want to spend more time with my granddaughter and daughter?"

"Well, come on in, we're filling up the balloons, if you want to help…"

Of course Emily was being sarcastic.

"Oh, Em, you should have told me sooner and I'd hire the best party organizers that had all the best equipment that would able to do a zillion balloons in seconds for you."

Emily rolled her eyes. They entered the living room.

"Em, wow! Are you expecting quadruplets in there? My, oh my, it looks like the whole world is in there."

"Thank you, Mother, but it is just one girl inside here and this is what I needed the most right now, your great cheerful remarks as always to brighten up my day in my moment of crisis."

"What crisis, Em? Isn't this just a little girl birthday party? You're not trying to solve World Peace like I'm trying to do most of times in my line of work. Calm down before this baby makes a surprise and visit us now and trust me, my expertise doesn't include delivering babies, even though I'm multitalented as you know."

As if it was not enough for poor Emily, Anna had to say something.

"_Nah Gama, peas, hep me here, me no wan tis baby sis. Can you keep baby to stay at your house wit you, foreva and eva_?" (No, grandma, please, help me here. I don't want this baby sister. Can you keep the baby to stay at your house with you, forever and ever?)

Ambassador face was priceless, totally in shock and speechless.

"_Gama, if you do tis, you'd give me the bess birday peasant eva_." (Grandma, if you do this, you'd give me the best birthday present ever.)

"Mother, can you do me an enormous favor and please take care of Anna until Derek is here? I need to be alone right now, before I say or do something I might totally regret."

"Of course I will look after my granddaughter and give you a moment to yourself. I know you need it because I can tell how stressed you are. You need to lie down now, Em, even for a little while."

And there she was on her bed, curled in herself, crying, trying to understand why and how she could let happiness turn into a big frustration. Trying to figure out what the hell was that feeling on her chest. A kind of nonsense despair for no specific reason. Would it have to do with a part of her past she so wanted forget? Would it have to do with the guilt she had been hardly working on to avoid feeling? Lying to herself that betraying her love was all part of her job and only. She could see all the past coming to her clearly as it was like was watching a huge movie screen in her head. She could see the first moment that she met Ian and how she schemed to get to him to make her plan work to make him fall for her so she can get the most vital information out of him. What she did not expect was to fall for him and how the following things changed her life forever, like the most important thing was Anna. And today in her birthday, there was no way she couldn't remember her biological father. How things would be when Anna started to ask about her real father? And would be all this situation fair to the baby that she was carrying? After a little while, the desperate cry gave place to a painful and sad crying. She knew that remorse and guilt were things capable of stealing the peace of any soul.

Derek entered the bedroom. She didn't notice at first. He needed to approach her and then he sat on the edge of the bed near her.

"Emily, what happened? Why are you crying?" He whispered.

She looked at him. Her eyes were puffy, red and wet. She didn't know what to say, but she knew Derek wouldn't give up. So, she needed an excuse.

"Derek, you know pregnant women can be very hormonal and emotional, it is normal for us to cry. I was just thinking about how Anna is not happy at all with this baby and all my emotions got the best of me. I just need this time, please get Anna ready for the party, please, do this for me."

"I brought my sisters and Mom. I went to fetch them at the airport."

"Tell them that I'll be there soon."

"I will. Are you sure you're okay."

"Yes."

========== / ==========

"_Aunt Sarah, me don wan a baby sis. Me told Mama and Dada me don wan a baby sis."_ (Aunt Sarah, I don't want a baby sister. I told Mama and Dada I don't want a baby sister.)

"Anna, did you know Desi is my baby sister?"

"_She's not a baby anymoe_." (She's not a baby, anymore.)

"I know. I say this because to me she'll always be my baby sister because she's younger than me. I was about your age when she was born and I was so happy when Mama Fran brought her home."

"_Just coz you love your baby sis doesn't mean me will love or like mine too. Evaone's diffren and my felling is so sad bout tis_." (Just because you love your baby sister doesn't mean I'll love or like mine too. Everyone's different and my feeling is so sad about this.)

Derek came back downstairs.

"Where's Emily?"

"She's upstairs getting ready, Mom. She'll be here soon."

Mama Fran knew something wasn't right only by Derek's expression.

"Anna, c'mon, come here, I'll get you ready."

Derek went upstairs with Anna in his arms. "Who's turning four and becoming a big girl today?" "_Meeeee_"

As soon as they left, "Mom, you heard her talking about her baby sister?"

"Yes."

"That scared me."

"Oh, she's just a little girl. She doesn't understand anything yet."

"I'm sorry, Ambassador Prentiss, but the way she talked about her baby sister was a little bit too harsh."

"Pardon, what's your name?"

"Desiree."

"Okay, Desiree, my granddaughter can be a little scared about losing her parents to a new member on their family which is pretty normal and understandable for her, but this is too far from being harsh. She's just an innocent little girl."

**========== / ==========**

Emily was locked in her bedroom. She was in her underwear, looking at her belly in the mirror of the bathroom.

"My sweet baby, I'm so sorry. Mommy is so sad and tormented right now. I know you can feel all my pain, suffering and negative feelings. This is not healthy for you, but I want you to know that Mama loves you so much and I'm so sorry for your big sister. You might think she doesn't love you but she doesn't mean what she says. She'll love you once she sees you and get to know you. Right now, she's just afraid we won't love her the same way, but she's wrong. We all love you two very much equally. Your daddy loves you so much, too. He is so excited wanting to see your face for the first time. I promise I'll try my best to relax and not be too much sad and stressed anymore. I love you so much, baby, and I am so excited to meet you."

She was taking a shower to get ready for the party while Derek was doing the same with Anna in another bathroom.

Derek got Anna ready and went downstairs because BAU people were there already. He was on his own to welcome the guests, to serve the drinks and foods, to finish setting the table with the cake and the cupcakes and the ornaments, the balloons, everything.

"My Chocolate Thunder, I know all yours skills are perfect but you seem a little lost here. Let me help you set this table while you take care of serving the drinks."

"Thanks Penelope." He was relieved.

"_Auntie Pen tis my birday patty but me no so happy coz me no wan baby sister me weally no wan_." (Auntie Pen, this is my birthday party but I'm not happy because I don't want a baby sister, I really don't want!)

"Why is that my darling? This is fantastic news! Your baby sister will look up to you and look for you to help guide her and you will have fun playing with her. What is reason you not happy about this, my cupcake?"

"_Mama and dada will no love me anymoe like tis baby, if me was enuff for them they wouldn't need anoda baby gil me would undastan more if this was baby boy_." (Mama and Dada will not love me anymore like this baby. If I was enough to them, they wouldn't need another baby girl. I'd understand more if this was a baby boy.)

"My sweetie pumpkin, your mama and dada will always love you the very same, nothing in world will change that. Also people cannot control what they will have: a boy or girl. It is only given only by God by no certain way or reason. Many people can have many girls or many boys without the other and some people have both. I promise you that this will not change anyone love for you especially your mama and dada and me too, as well."

"Hey, Derek, where's Emily?"

"She's getting ready, actually, JJ, can you go please check on her?"

"Is there anything wrong?"

"I don't know. Just go there as if you were only looking for her. Just don't say to her that I asked you to do this."

"Okay, I won't."

Henry was six months old. JJ left him with Will and went upstairs. Once there, she knocked on Emily's bedroom door.

"Emily? It's me, JJ. Can I come in?"

On the other side of the door, inside the bedroom Emily was ready, dressed. She had composed herself to enjoy the party, but as soon as she opened the door and saw a friendly face, she collapsed in tears again.

"Oh, Emily, What's wrong?"

"I don't know. You were pregnant recently. You know how this can be."

"Yes, Emily, I know. That's exactly why I can assure that there's something more bothering you. What's up?"

Emily gave a few steps as if trying to avoid talking.

"You can open up yourself to me, Emily. We're friends! You can trust me."

Emily was so with her nerves on the edge, that JJ didn't even have to end the sentence, she started to vent, walking from one side to the other in the room.

"It's my life. JJ, I don't know what I'm doing! I feel like this life doesn't belong to me. I feel like... When it was only me and Anna and our private life, I felt safer, but now I don't know if it was a good choice to involve Derek in my life and this innocent baby here. As much as I want to forget my past, it haunts me in a way that I just cannot avoid. It's as if I'm sure that my past will come for me and... and… (Emily knew she couldn't give too much details)… and charge me for what I've done."

"Emily, you're talking as if you were a criminal... This is about Anna's father right?"

"Yes, JJ, but, it's complicated."

"How complicated?"

"It isn't just like I had kept from him that he has a daughter and he can find out and then try to be part of her life. This by itself it would be horrible but if it was only this I'd be in paradise."

"I don't understand. Do you still talk to him? Do you still have feelings for him?"

"God, No! I love Derek with all my heart. He's such a wonderful guy that I don't even deserve him. But… but…"

Emily knew she couldn't say anything else about Ian Doyle. She changed the subject then.

"Also, Anna doesn't accept well this baby. I don't know what to do. Imagine when she finds out Derek isn't her real father, I mean, her biological father. She'll start to ask me things and…"

"Hey, hey, Emily, step back, calm down, you are putting the cart before the horse. You're suffering in vain now. When it comes the time when she starts to ask you and Derek, you both will know how to deal with it and she'll be self-assured enough to know how much you and him love her. You just need to relax, Emily."

Emily was trying to calm down.

"Emily, if you feel you need to tell me more or the whole thing, you can as I will keep this confidential I will not tell a soul as you know but I will never push you as I just wanted to know you can always count on me."

Emily approached her friend to give her a hug. "Thank you."

"This is nothing, Emily."

JJ broke the hug, "Now we better go downstairs because I bet there's a cute sweet little girl there waiting anxious for her mother."

"Yes, I can imagine Anna being so anxious… same feeling Derek had when we were about to find out the sex of this baby. Those two are the most anxious and excited people I know."

**========== / ==========**

_**Few hours later**_

They were talking, eating, and drinking and laughing and everything seemed so perfect. It was time to sing Happy birthday to Anna.

"Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to Anna, Happy birthday to you."

Derek had Anna in his arms and Emily was near them at the other side of the table while some people were taking photos and Anna was blowing out the candles on the cake.

While Anna, with help of Emily, was cutting the cake, people around were yelling, "Make a wish, make a wish, make a wish!"

After cutting the first piece of cake, Anna said her wish out loud for everybody to hear.

"_Wen me was cutting the cake and making my birday wish, me wish that this baby not be bo,n me no wan, me wish the baby would retun whey it came fom, tis would be my bes birday peasant eva_." (When I was cutting the cake and making my birthday wish, I wished that this baby would never be born, I don't want, I wish this baby would return to where it came from, this would be my best present ever.)

Everyone was shocked. Derek had to say something because Emily was totally speechless.

"I need to sit down."

"Anna, this is not a nice thing to wish and hope for. You need to rethink another one, like Mama, this baby, you, me everyone here will be healthy and happy. I wish you could be happier, Anna, about this, and just know that all of us will love you very much, nothing will ever change that not even with this baby that's coming."

Penelope and Fran were helping Derek to serve the cake. Anna was running to play with Jack. Emily sat on the edge of the couch. She was having a hard time to breathe. JJ was the first one to notice this. She approached Emily.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know."

"Emily…"

"Ouch, JJ, ouch, it's hurting."

"Emily, you need a doctor, you're bleeding! DEREK!"

Derek rushed near them.

"You need to take her to the hospital!"

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Thanks for reading.


	28. Chapter 28

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

Derek was shaking his legs, sitting on a bench in the corridor of the hospital, along with Garcia. They didn't let him enter the examination room.

"It's taking too long, Penelope."

He got up and started to walk from one side to another, bringing his hands on his head.

"I know, Derek, but… (she didn't know what to say)… everything will be fine."

He sat again to look at Penelope, "You were in the backseat with her, was she still bleeding? What was she saying?"

"Derek, you were there too, you h—heard…"

"I was driving. Was she still bleeding?"

Having no way to lie, Penelope muttered almost in tears, "Yes."

Derek got up again and punched the wall. "Shit!"

**========== / ==========**

_**Meanwhile, at home**_

Of course all the guests went home. There were only Sarah, Fran and Desiree taking care of Anna.

"_I wan Mama, I wan Mama, pease, I wan Mama, I wan Mama now_…" (I want Mama, I want Mama, please, I want Mama, I want Mama now…)

"Shh, shh, Anna, you need to stop crying and yelling, your Mommy will be fine, we just have to wait here sweetie."

The little girl was traumatized seeing her Mother being carried, yelling in pain, bleeding, to the hospital. She was crying and yelling since the moment Emily, Derek and Penelope left.

"Anna refusing this baby is causing Emily so much stress that she is close to losing the baby because of her attitude."

"Oh, Please, Sarah, don't say that."

"It's true, mother! It's her fault! Emily started to feel sick after what Anna said."

"We don't know if she has any other health problem."

Of course Anna was hearing the conversation and for sure understanding everything.

"_It wasn't my faul, it was tis baby faul. The baby is huting Mama, no me!_" (It wasn't my fault, it was this baby fault. The baby is hurting Mama, not me!)

Fran was trying to calm Anna down.

"Anna, when Sarah found out she was going to have baby sister in Desiree, and then later Derek, each time she was so very happy. They play together having so much fun together, yes, they had fights but all sisters and brothers' fight, but they always love each other no matter what. You'll have the same with your baby sister. Your Dada, Mama and I, your grandma will always love you very much, Anna, this will never ever change. Can you please try to show more support for this baby for your Mama? She's so worried about your feelings that she is so sick right now at hospital and I know you want your mama to get better and she will get better much sooner if you show more love and support for this baby."

"If there is still a baby…" Sarah muttered.

"Sarah, please, this is not helping! Mama is trying to do the right thing and you aren't helping! She's just a little girl afraid of losing her parents!"

========== / ===========

_**At the Hospital**_

Derek was each time more nervous and agitated. They were still waiting for news about Emily and the baby's situation.

Ambassador joined them. She passed by them and went straight to the counter.

"Where's my daughter?"

"I'm sorry, Madam, but who is your daughter?"

"Emily Prentiss…" She remembered on time that Emily had an addition to her name. "… Morgan…"

"She's being examined. You'll have to wait."

"I'm sorry, but I won't wait. I demand news about my daughter right now, even if I have to pay for it."

"Madam, you can't break into examination room. You'll have to wait for the doctor."

Ambassador wasn't a kind of person who accepted a 'no'. Derek had to step in.

"Ambassador Prentiss, we all are worried. I'm dying in here, it's my wife and daughter in there, but there nothing we can do but wait."

"That's because you brought her here." She looked around. "To this hospital, when my family has the best doctors and clinics at our disposal."

"It was the nearest one!" Derek's tone of voice was becoming altered.

"Derek, Derek, please. You need to keep calm. Emily will need all your support." Penelope held his arm trying to calm him down.

The doctor finally came out to speak to them. "We were able to stop the hemorrhage, which was our priority. There was placental abruption followed by strong and persistent contractions and cramps. The situation is serious. The baby is still alive but we're still waiting the result of some tests."

"Still alive?" Derek couldn't believe the doctor was using such hopeless and discouraging expression.

"Unfortunately, Mr. Morgan, the chances are fifty, fifty, and I need to be honest with you all. I haven't talked to her still though."

"Can I see her?"

"Yes, but remember that we were just able to stabilize her blood pressure. I don't think it's good for her to learn about the real situation right now."

Derek swallowed, "Okay." He followed the doctor until they reached Emily's room.

"We gave her strong medications for pain. She might be a little numb, which is pretty normal."

'_C'mon, she's Emily Prentiss, the badass, this doctor doesn't know her!' Derek was thinking. But he said_, "Thank you."

She was asleep, but as soon as she realized someone was there, she opened her eyes. Derek approached the bed.

"Hey."

"Hey…"

"How're you feeling?"

"Well, I'm almost feeling nothing, so much medications that they must have given me."

"At least, you aren't in pain."

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"No, Emily, it wasn't your fault. These kinds of things can happen."

"Yeah, I know, but I've been too much worried and nervous all the time. I'll try to relax more. I just hope they don't keep me at the hospital or tied up in bed."

"I know it's hard but if they need to, you'll have to accept. You know it isn't only you but there's a baby in risk too."

"W—What?"

He realized he had said a little bit too much.

"Derek, is there something you're hiding from me?"

"No, Emily, of course not, but it isn't a secret you just had a severe hemorrhage. You'll need to do what doctors say."

"Yeah, well, I guess you're right."

Derek started to caress her belly.

"But you're a fighter, and this little girl here is as well. She has both Morgan and Prentiss genes combined."

She was caressing and looking at her belly. "Stay strong little baby, I know you are anxious to see Mommy and Daddy and your big sister and we're so lucky for having you in our family, little Princess, but you'll have to wait just a little bit more, please. And we'll all be together very soon, I promise."

Emily then touched Derek's hand on her belly, and held it. Both knew the little girl was in risk, no words were needed, nothing. They looked at each other and through the look they had the deepest talk. They would do anything that they could do to save the baby.

Derek brought her hands to his mouth and kissed them. Then he kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Derek."

**========== / ==========**

_**At home**_

"_Gama Fan, pease, take me to be with Mama now, me wan to know if Mama is okay. She was cwieing in pain, Mama is hut_." (Grandma Fran, please take me to be with Mama now, I want to know if Mama is okay. She was crying in pain, Mama is hurt.)

"Anna, we can't take you to the hospital now. Hospitals are not place for children unless they're sick."

"_Me sick Gama Fan, me sick, me miss Mama so muss, pease, pease, my tomic hurt_." (I'm sick, Grandma Fran, I'm sick. I miss Mama so much, please, please, my stomach hurts.)

"Oh, my God, Mama, this girl is too much attached to her mother. I wonder how Emily manages to work, staying days out."

"All this that is happening now is something new for her, Desi. You know children need a certain routine to feel safe. This is totally new for her."

"She's a little too spoiled for my opinion."

"Sarah, please remember that we're helping her. If you can't keep this in mind, just think that we're helping Derek here, too. She's his daughter."

"She's not!"

"Sarah!" Fran had to count to ten before losing her mind with Sarah. "Please, just stay in silence if you can't help."

Fran didn't want to discuss this delicate situation in front of Anna. "But I won't forget what you said. We'll talk at home."

"_Me petty sur when me in mama belly me did not hut mama like tis baby coz me wuv mama so much unlike tis baby hutting mama, she bad she no wuv mama like me_." (I'm pretty sure when I was in Mama's belly, I didn't hurt Mama like this baby because I love Mama so much, unlike this baby, that is hurting Mama. She's bad. She doesn't love Mama like me.)

"Anna, all babies in mother's tummies can hurt us equally. When I had your Dada, and your two aunties here they all hurt me equally, but it's work of love. So, I'm pretty sure this has nothing to do with the baby wanting to hurt your Mama."

For the rest of the afternoon and night, Anna didn't stop asking them to take her to her Mama. She was asking nonstop, over and over again, sometimes crying, sometimes not.

"Mama, is there a button we can turn off this tape recorder? Oh Gosh!"

"Sarah, I can only imagine when you have your own babies, it'll be fun to watch you running after a lot of mini Derek's running through the house and you having no patience."

"This little girl is making me rethink about being a mother."

"You think she is bad, well, let me tell you my daughter, you make her look like a sweet angel in comparison to you. You were much harder to handle than her, trust me. You just need more patience, love and understanding. How she's behaving now, how you'd have acted in her shoes? I know this because you were such a real handful for me when you were her age."

**========== / ==========**

_**At the hospital**_

Both Ambassador and Penelope were able to visit Emily and they had left the hospital already since only one person could stay with her, and it was Derek.

At night, the doctor came to talk to them before he could open his mouth, Emily talked first.

"Oh, thank God, can I go home?"

"Not so fast, Mrs. Morgan."

"Oh, but I'm feeling totally well now."

"Yes, but we'll need to keep you here for this night, in observation."

"Oh, no."

"…And if it's all okay, you can go home tomorrow morning."

"Doctor, I have a daughter at home."

"How old is she?"

"She's four today. It's her birthday."

"I'm sorry for this, but she being four is one more reason to keep you here. I know how hard it is to handle children at this age. Tomorrow morning you can be with her and well there are other precautions you'll need to take but we'll talk tomorrow about this."

"Thank you."

The man was about to leave, when Derek called him.

"Doctor?"

The man looked at Derek.

"Can I stay with her?"

"Well, there's no proper accommodation but you can spend the night in that armchair."

"Thank you."

"Derek, we need to call Anna. I need to let her know that I'm okay. She must be worried and crying for me. I know your mom and your sisters are taking good care of her but she doesn't know them too well. This must be so hard for her, please, call her now."

_**The phone call**_

Anna was screaming through the phone, saying.

"_M__ama, Mama, me wan to be wit you now, me do not know these peepa too muss, me just wan to be with you now, pease._" (Mama, Mama, I want to be with you now, I don't know these people too much, I just want to be with you, please.)

"I know, sweetie, I want to be with you, too, but right now we can't be together. Grandma Fran, Aunt Sarah and Aunt Desiree are Dada mama and Dada sisters. You can trust them to take good care of you. Even though you said you don't know them too well. It is because they live so far in another city but they're family and they love you very much and I trust them so much so you can too sweetie. I'm okay now and I will be home soon."

"_Mama, me miss you, me no wan seep til you home._" (Mama, I miss you, I don't want to sleep until you're home.)

"Anna, you should never fight sleep because children your age need all the rest and it is way past your bedtime, so good night, sweet dreams and I really need you to continue be strong for mama, okay?"

"_Okie, Mama. Mama wen me wake up in moning me weally hope to see your face here, me so wis this, can you_?" (Mama, when I wake up in the morning, I really hope to see your face here, I so wish this, can you?)

"I so hope to see you like tomorrow morning Anna but it's all up to the doctors. Even though I'm feeling well, the doctors always want to make sure all is okay. It's their job to do this, but I promise it'll be very soon.

"_Mama, baby bon alwedy_?" (Mama, did the baby born already?)

"No, it's much too early. It's just I was feeling sick. They have to check if everything is okay with the baby. Anna, sweetie, you need to sleep now, please, be a good girl, okay."

"Okie, Mama." (Okay, Mama)

"I love you sweetie."

"_Me wuv you too, Mama_." (I love you, too, mama.)

**========== / ==========**

_**Next day, in the middle of the morning**_

Emily and Derek were entering their home. The first thing that Anna did was to run and give a big hug to her mother, almost choking her.

"Anna, please, be careful. Your mama still has some pain."

"_Mama, me wan to hep you with evathing like wassing the disses. Me cook foi you. Dada taut me to cook pancake me can cook pancake on my owe now_. _Me her little heper_." (Mama, I want to help you with everything, like washing dishes. I'll cook for you. Dada taught me how to cook pancake. I can cook pancake on my own now. I'm your little helper.) She was anxious, talking nonstop.

"I'm pretty sure Dada taught you how to make a mess more than cooking."

The little girl was super happy with her mother at home again, and she'd much more happy when she finds out that her mother would have to stay home for the rest of the pregnancy, three months or so.

They all had lunch together and in the afternoon, Derek went to take his mother and sisters to the airport. Next day it'd be Monday and he'd have to work.

**========== / ==========**

_**In the car**_

"Derek, you have to train Anna not to be so needy and be independent. Every millisecond she was like a relentless tape recording '_me wan mama, me wan go to see mama, now_." Sarah was repeating in Anna voice, trying to impersonate her squeaky voice.

"Sarah, stop! Do not start this!"

"Mom, I have to get this off my chest because she almost drove me totally insane."

"She caused me so much grief. She almost made her mother lose our real baby blood related, your real grandchild and our real niece, and she is not even related to you Derek."

"Sarah! I'm so disappointed with you! I don't recognize you anymore with you saying all this." Fran was so pissed.

"How very wrong you are. Take that back, Sarah! In the eyes of the law, and the most important, in my heart, she's my daughter and your niece! Just as much as the baby in Emily's belly, not an ounce different."

"That's for you, Derek, not for me!"

"I don't want you to only love the new baby only and treat Anna like an outcast. I'll not tolerate this, do you understand Sarah?"

"You can't make me love her if I don't, Derek! She'll never be my family!"

"Sarah, you need to adjust your attitude or you will not be welcome in my home anymore. How dare you saying that Anna is not family? She's just as much family as you and this new baby! I never ever want you to repeat this again especially to Emily and Anna."

"I want to see if you won't change your attitude when you look at you own daughter, your own flesh and bone and blood!"

"Anna will always be my daughter equally like this new baby. I want you to treat Anna with the same love and respect like you'll give this new baby. If you cannot Sarah, then, we'll no longer be sister and brother anymore. I hope I made myself clear."

"Sarah, Anna is cute and how she acted missing her mother is very understandable. I'm pretty sure you and I would act the same way in her shoes. Remember she doesn't know us that much regardless if she is told we are her father's family. Yes, Derek's her father and she's our niece. You should know better that many times it takes more than blood to be family. Look at the world today, people giving away their child because they don't want to take care of their own baby. Derek loves Anna with all his heart which I think is cool and we must do the same to support him and I don't think you want to lose him over this, I'd never handle losing Derek and I think you feel the same way."

**========== / ==========**

_**At home**_

"_Mama, when me in your tummy, did you have to go hopital too coz you feel sic too_?" (Mama, when I was in your tummy, did you have to go to the hospital too because you felt sick too?)

"No, sweetie, only when you were born."

"_It's coz tis baby is not as good as me mama_. _Bad baby!_" (It's because this baby is not good as me, Mama. Bad baby!)

"Anna, that isn't true at all. The baby isn't bad and didn't make me sick. It's because Moms, sometimes, like myself, worry too much and get over worried. This made me sick but I'll be okay now, sweetie, this baby and you are both equally good wonderful girls. You two are my world."

Anna could be only four but she was highly intelligent just like her mother and father. Too bad that her father used his intelligence for the bad side. Anna could understand a bit about what was happening.

"_Mama, me so sowy me made you sic, me neva eva wan to see you hut or sick again, if me can make you happy loving and anting my baby sista, me will twie_." (Mama, I'm so sorry I made you sick. I never ever want to see you hurt or sick again. If I can make you happy loving and wanting my baby sister, I'll try.)

Emily was totally thrilled and touched by these words.

"Oh, Anna, I love you so much! But sweetie this had nothing to do with you. Sometimes Mamas get sick while having baby inside but everything will be okay with baby and me. It'd be wonderful if you could love this baby like how we love you so much too, and this baby will love you, too."

"_Me woul do anyting foi you, Mama. Me wuv you tis muss_." (I'd do anything for you, Mama. I love you this much.) The little girl opened her arms wide.

**========== / ==========**

_**In the car**_

The silence had invaded the car for a long time. Fran's heart was breaking now. They all had tears in their eyes. After some minutes, the silence was broken.

"I'm so sorry, Derek, I just lost my patience. You know I'm never patient in crisis just like the time when you came to Chicago and was arrested. I said some harsh things to Emily then and now I am doing the same to Anna. I was so sad in listening she saying all those mean things about the baby all the time, but I promise to change my attitude because I never ever want to lose you Derek as I love you so much. I will love Anna the same as this new baby, please forgive me."

"I don't like to fight with you, Sarah. You're my sister and I love you."

**========== / ==========**

_**At home**_

Anna and Emily were at home, on the couch. Anna was watching cartoons and Emily was just there, hugging her daughter.

It was evening already when Derek came home. He joined them sitting on the couch. Emily could feel he had been drinking, she looked at him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

She kept looking at him. "…This smell. Have you been drinking?"

"It was just one dose, okay?"

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened, Emily."

He went upstairs. "I'll take a shower."

Now, it was Derek that was in need of some space. Sarah had hit a permanent nerve on him no matter if she had apologized. The apology wasn't enough really to make this hurt he was feeling disappear. Sarah really hurt him badly, but worst than this. She made him questioned himself in the last thing that he wanted to think about right now. He didn't want to love the baby more than Anna. He was worried about he'd feel like this, and he was feeling totally guilty. Sarah had really hit a chord in him. He took a shower and stayed in the bedroom.

Downstairs, Anna fell asleep on the couch because she hardly got much sleep last night. Emily went upstairs.

"Derek, Anna fell asleep on the couch. Could you please take her to her bedroom?"

"Sure."

After he was back in the bedroom, Emily was sitting on the bed. He sat down on his side of the bed and took the book he was reading. But Emily wouldn't let him to read.

"I know it'd take a lot for you to drink, Derek, even though it's just one dose. I know you too well and something is upsetting you terribly. So what is it?"

"Nothing happened, I told you."

"I don't need to use my profiler skills to see it in your eyes that something is causing you pain right now, I want to help Derek so please tell me."

"I'm going to miss my family, especially my Mom. Dropping them off is always hard."

Of course Emily wouldn't buy it.

"You dropped them off before and you never felt sad like this."

"Emily, I'll always be a little boy that will need his Mom no matter if I'm 100 years old. You almost losing our baby made me realize that I need my mother near me all the time. Does it make sense? Something this dramatic just made me to want me to have my mother near me and she going home to Chicago made me very sad this time."

Emily didn't buy this. She totally ignored what he said. "Did they say something about Anna?"

Derek didn't want Emily to know the truth at this time as it might be too much for her so he was trying his best to cover.

"No, they didn't say anything bad about Anna. Of course Anna was crying a lot for you but this is understandable by her and they all understand this."

He wasn't looking at her while talking and this was adding a lot of information.

**========== / ==========**

_**Few weeks later**_

"Lauren, or should I call you, Emily, how could you keep my baby girl from me? …Never telling me about her. How could you stab me in my back and in my heart, having me arrested and stealing my child away from me? I'll come for you and destroy you someday. Mark my words and I'll take everything that's mine."

"NO, you won't, NO, you won't, NO, you won't …"

In the middle of the night, they were sleeping. Derek woke up with Emily yelling.

"Emily! Emily! Wake up, wake up!"

She opened her eyes. She was breathing fast. Derek hugged her. "Shh, relax, it was only a bad dream."

Emily knew it wasn't that simple.

"No need for bad dreams Emily, I know you had bad dreams about this baby but that was only a scare you had. All will be okay I promise. Just relax and think positively and all your dreams will be sweet from now on."

He was trying to calm her down. She was only pretending to be calm.

**========== / ==========**

_**One month later**_

Emily was almost eight months pregnant. Her cell phone was ringing again.

"Anna, pick up the phone, I'm sure it's your Daddy again."

"_Dada, no need to wowy, me taking good care of mama, me pomise_." (Dada, you don't need to worry, I'm taking good care of Mama, I promise.)

"Oh, I'm absolutely sure of it, sweetie. I'm just checking how you two are doing. I just got home from work and the house is so empty without my two Princesses. I miss you two so badly."

"_Me miss you too, Dada_." (I miss you too, Dada.)

Emily and Anna were in a Farmhouse Hotel. They were there for one week.

"Anna, can I talk to Mama?"

"She's at the door."

A smiling waiter of the hotel was at the door, "Here're your French fries, coke, pizza, chocolate ice cream and two hamburgers."

Emily opened her mouth in total shock, "I—I'm afraid this is a mistake."

"No, Ma'am, this is correct, room 32."

"_Tis is cowect, Mama. This is my odey_." (This is correct, Mama. This is my order.)

"H—How could your place take an order from a four year old?"

"Well, I'm only the delivery man."

"Who do I call, then? To let them know not to take orders from a four year old. I'm sure they can tell the language is of a person that should have no authority to do anything but to only take orders herself from everyone else only."

"Pease, Mama, pease, Mama." (Please, Mama.)

"Who's at the door, Anna? What's going on?" On the other side of the phone, Derek wasn't understand anything there.

"_It's my odey, Dada_." (It's my order, dada.)

"What order? Let me talk to your Mama."

"Okay, I'll take this just this time, and only because of my daughter. I hope this don't happen anymore!"

"Yayyyyyy!" Anna jumped in joy.

The guy left the huge table with a lot of junk foods inside the room.

"Okay, only this time but no more ordering, young lady. I'll order everything from now on, and my order will be much different, you can be sure of that."

"_Me no like your choice, Mama, me pefer to choose myself aways_." (I don't like your choices, Mama. I prefer to choose myself always.)

Emily picked up the phone.

"Hi, Derek."

"What's going on?"

"Your daughter… and I used the word 'your' only… because at this time I feel like disowning her, she ordered the whole hotel menu by phone and now I'm getting the shock of my life. What is shocking is that the hotel actually took the orders from a four year old. You would think that her '_Annanese'_ language would be an indication that she's still a baby."

Derek couldn't help but laugh, "Before you know it, Princess, she'll be using your credit cards."

"Don't give her ideas, Derek."

"Just relax, Princess. These things don't happen all the time. It isn't like every month you will make a trip to relax. It isn't every month you'll be having a baby. Just relax and enjoy. Also, with a small stomach like hers, how much of this do you think she manages to eat? Just relax."

"Yeah, I think you're right."

"I always am! …And the baby? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, all that I do is rest. She's fine. Derek, I was thinking about some names."

"What is it?"

"We'll talk at home. When are you coming to pick us up?"

"Well, for me, I'd do it right now. I need to know when you want to come home."

"I miss you."

"Me too … I miss you three."

"Well, I'll stay a few days more. Let me know when your next day off at BAU is."

"Okay, I will."

"Oh, someone is knocking on the door again."

"Hm, okay, call me back if you need something."

"I will, love you, bye."

Emily opened the door and it was another employee of the hotel carrying a huge bouquet of red roses that Emily could barely see his face behind it.

"These are for you, Ma'am."

Anna approached her, "_M__ama, yor ur like this petty fowers so bootiful like you_." (Mama, you're like these pretty flowers, so beautiful like you.)

Emily was on that very moment where she just didn't know if she smiled or scolded Anna.

"_You ur bes mama eva_." (You're the best Mama, ever.)

"Thank you. Can you please put this on there?" She pointed to the table.

The guy put the flowers there and left. Emily closed the door.

She sat on the bed and Anna was standing in front of her. As much as Anna's attitude was cute, Emily had to have a talk to her. She took both Anna's hands on hers, looking at her in the eyes, "Anna, thank you so much for these beautiful flowers. I love them all so much, but you cannot do this ever again without asking my permission. Your intentions are so very sweet but doing these things can cause problems or can get you in trouble since you are underage to do all these things, as it is breaking rules."

"_Me sowy, Mama_." (I'm sorry, Mama.)

"That's okay. I know your intentions were all good. Just next time you need to ask Mama, first okay?"

"_Okie, Mama. Can me eat now_?" (Okay, Mama. Can I eat now?)

Emily smiled, "Yes, you can eat."

_**Few hours later**_

They were in bed, watching movies.

"_Mama, me need to go potty now_." (Mama, I need to potty now.)

"Again? That's like five times in ten minutes! You see what you get for eating all those junk foods? You drank a lot of coca cola. That stuff makes you want to pee like a zillion gallons.

========== / ==========

_**Few days later**_

"_Mama, sinn is last time for us here, can you oder for us the foods me oder befoe peasee_? _We can make a celebrate party befoe we go home to dada."_ (Mama, since it's the last time for us here, can you order for us the foods I order before, please? We can make a celebration party before we go home to Dada.)

"You want to be stuck in the washroom like before? We'll have a long trip to home now and the car doesn't have a washroom you know."

"_Uh oh oopsie, then, we party with jus chocolat ice cweam, just lile, okie dokie?_" (Oops, then we party with just chocolate ice cream, just a little?)

Emily just gave up and laughed, "Only little of those treats for our farewell to this great trip. Even though you were naughty and did some things I didn't like, your heart was in right place and you made this trip so special for me, so I want to thank you a lot, sweetie."

"_You welcum, Mama and tank you too, so muss_." You're welcome, Mama, and thank you too, so much.)

They met at the reception of the Hotel to pay the bill.

"_Dada, me miss you so muss but me tink mama miss so muss moe coz she miss kissy kissy wit you, kissy kissy Mama now." _(Dada, I miss you so much but I think Mama missed you so much more because she misses kissing you, kiss Mama now.)

"Oh, she's so adorable!" The attendant said while showing Derek the bill.

He took the note after giving Emily a kiss on the lips. He was expecting around US$ 1000 but it was like three times more, US$ 3.240.

"Wow…"

"Don't look at me. It was all your daughter. Every time I went to the washroom for a second, she was making phone calls. She even order and bought gifts for you. She ordered the whole dining menu from the hotel. Let me pay it."

"No, Emily, I'll pay it. It was just surprising."

"Let me pay half, then."

"No, I refuse. Did you and Anna have fun?"

"Yes, we had wonderful time…Just missed you…"

"Then it was worth every penny because I know Anna had so much fun too, and I just want my three girls to be happy and have good time, and I'm including the one in your belly too."

"Well, the little one in my belly had so much junk food like McDonalds and ice cream and pizza, since her Big Sis, was busy with her phone fingers all through the trip."

**========== / ==========**

_**A few weeks later**_

Emily and Derek had talked and chose a name for the baby. During the dinner, they'd tell Anna.

"_Mama, can me hava chicken nuggas, fench fies and cokie foi dinna_?" (Mama, can I have chicken nuggets, French fries and coke for dinner?)

"In our trip at our hotel you got used to ordering people and these things but you cannot order me around. Those foods are not healthy. I let you have them at the Hotel since you had ordered them already but no more of this for a very long time for you, young lady."

They were finishing eating.

"Anna, sweetie, we have a name for your baby sister already."

Anna was upset, "Did you and Dada chose my name together, too?"

Emily and Derek looked at each other.

"No. Because I didn't know your Dada, yet."

"_No fair, no fair. You and dada name this baby togeder coz you both love tis baby moe than me. Me no wan to know baby name. Me still no wan me no wan tis baby."_ (Not, fair, not fair. You and dada named this baby together because you both love this baby more than me. I don't want to know the baby name. I still don't want, I don't want this baby.)

She left the table pouting and stomping her feet. Emily and Derek looked at each other.

**========== / ==========**

**I have a name for this baby in mind but I'd love to hear your suggestions. Remember it's a girl. If I like it, I'll definitely use. Thank you! **

**Thanks for reading.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Well, guys, since the only suggestion I got for name was a boy's name (LOL), I'll use my original idea. Thank you who suggested. **

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

_**One month later**_

"_Mama, me watha have Mawy look afta me than auntie sawah, she no like me, but Mawy wuv me, auntie sarah hate me. She said mean tings to me_." (Mama, I rather to have Mary looking after me than aunt Sarah, she doesn't like me, but Mary loves me, aunt Sarah hates me. She said mean things to me.)

Emily was uncomfortable, in a kind of pain.

"What did she say to you, sweetie? … and she doesn't hate you at all… how can someone hate you? …ouch…"

"_She said me was weason you sick and went to hopital coz I said mean tings bout my baby sister. She also say me cwie a lot me was like no stop tape wecoder_." (She said that I was the reason you were sick and went to the hospital because I said mean things about my baby sister. She also said I cry a lot and that I was like a tape recorder.)

As much as Emily was a lot interested in what Anna was saying as it was just too much to just ignore, she couldn't control the pain that she was feeling, the physical pain.

"Mary, please, you have to call Derek! …Call Derek now!"

"_Pease, Mawy, call Dada, call Dada now._" (Please, Mary, call Dada now.)

Emily was having contractions. Derek was peacefully walking in the supermarket pushing the cart with the groceries when he got the phone call.

"Mr. Morgan? You have to come home now. I think the baby is about to be born. You have to rush, please."

Derek dropped the supermarket cart and the groceries and ran to his car rushing towards home.

"_Mama, what me need to do? Tis baby hutting mama, now I know why me no like tis baby that muss_." (Mama, what do you need me to do? This baby's hurting Mama, now I know why I don't like this baby too much.)

With difficulty breathing, Emily had to answer. "I was hurting the same way when I had you sweetie. This is a labor of love so it's worth the pain for you and now this baby."

"What do you need, Emily? Please, he'll be here soon, oh my God, I don't know what to do."

"That's okay, Mary, I just need to go to the hospital. Ouch…"

Foreign to the haste of the case, Anna was doing her best to try to help. "_Mama me make sure take good care of you to get you moe betta soon til Dada come_." (Mama, I'll make sure to take good care of you to get better soon until Dada comes.)

The little girl took her toy doctors kit, using her toy stethoscope, checking Emily heart, "_Your hait soun good but too loud, Mama_." (Your heart sounds good but too loud, Mama.)

"That's… (Breathing) …because… (Breathing) … it's… (Breathing) … beating… (Breathing) … strong… (Breathing) … for you … (Breathing) … sweetie…Ouch…"

Anna took the thermometer toy. Emily was trying to control the pain but it was getting increasingly stronger so she was yelling sometimes, scaring Anna.

"_Me no tink can hep muss with tis, Mawy, you might have to get this baby out foe Mama, you so good with babies, me tink you can do this_." (I don't think I can help much with this. Mary, you might have to get this baby out for Mama. You're so good with babies. I think you can do this."

"Oh, Anna, you're so wrong, but you Daddy will be here very, very soon."

Five minutes after this, Derek was entering, almost taking down the door. He rushed to the living room."

"Emily! Oh my God." He took her on his arms.

"Derek, I can walk! Just take that bag…"

"Of course! Mrs. Stubbornness."

"_Dada why took you so lon? Mama cannot wait anymoe, she is hutting so muss, Mawy cannot take baby out so mama need weal docta in hopital now_." (Dada, why did you take so long? Mama cannot wait anymore. She's hurting too much. Mary cannot take the baby out, so Mama needs a real doctor in the hospital now.)

**========== / ==========**

It was obvious that Derek would participate in all steps until he could hold his baby for the first time in his arms. He had prepared himself for this to make sure that his anxiety and nervousness would not disrupt anything and would help things instead. But this was only in theory, because he was mega agitated, a nervous wreck basically, during all the delivery!

They were in surgery room for quite a while already. The contractions and dilations were increasing a lot and causing more pain, but the baby was still far from being born as much as Emily was pushing. It was very distressing for Derek to only watch Emily in such pain and screaming. He no longer felt his hand as Emily was crushing, squeezing it very strong.

"I'm here. I'm here with you, Emily." He was trembling.

"I—I know this, Derek. I feel like I'm being torn inside, but my vision is still working."

She was screaming and pushing hard all the time. Derek was trying his best but all the tough way was so typical of him and had given place to a big baby boy.

"Derek, I can't believe you are shaking like a leaf. Your legs are wobbling so badly they might break off. You're probably more nervous than me."

"I'm sorry, Princess, this all is so new for me."

A few more pushes and screams and they were listening to the sound of the voice of their baby for the first time. Needless to say that Derek was in tears already, much more than Emily. But she was also so thrilled when the nurse brought the little girl to her arms.

"Oh, hi, I was so anxious to see you. You're so beautiful and so pretty that we have a name for you that means 'pretty girl' and this is so very fitting for you: Jolie."

Derek was so thrilled, touched, paralyzed, speechless, in total awestruck, looking at his first blood child that Emily needed to give him a push. "This is your Dada. He wants to give you a 'hi', too."

"Hey, baby girl, you're so pretty just like your Mama. I love you so much and I'll make sure all the boys stay very far from you for a long time…"

"Derek, please, she's just born. It'll take over a decade for this to happen. No need to worry now."

"Hmm, I guess you're right, Princess, Emily, you're so brave! I cannot even believe my eyes! Thank you so much. I don't have enough words to thank you for this. I wish I was there for you and Anna the day she was born, too. If I could rewrite the history, I'd go back in time to change this I'd do this in a heartbeat. But I love the way that we are now that we are all together and..."

"Derek, please, I just finished a zillion hours labor work so please, I need some peace of mind now, all this you're saying are so touching but let's focus on our future. I need to rest a little."

"Sure, Princess."

Derek was taking photos of the baby with his cell phone to send to his family and the BAU team.

"Call Anna and tell her and Mary the good news, too."

"I will, Princess."

"Can you leave a message for my mother, too, pleas? It's hard to get a hold of her because of her usual busy work schedule."

"Sure, Princess."

The nurse took the baby to clean the blood and make the procedures.

"Emily I'll go outside to make the phone calls and also register her."

"Okay do like we agreed to. Put my name as well since Anna has both our family names."

"I will."

In the hospital, there was a notary's office. On the corridor towards to there, Derek called home. "Princess, Anna, you already have a little sister. She's so pretty, just like you."

"_Dada how is Mama? Me so wowwy bout her. She was hutting so muss coz the baby. Me ony wanna know if Mama still hutting coz she was scweaming so muss_." (Dada, how's Mama? I'm so worried about her. She was hurting so much because of the baby. I only want to know if Mama is still hurting because she was screaming so much.)

"Anna, Mama is fine now. She'll be okay. Don't you want to know about your baby sister?"

"_No, not weally. Me ony care to know bout Mama. When can me see Mama? Me wanna see Mama now_." (No, not really. I only care to know about Mama. When can I see Mama? I want to see Mama now.)

Of course that Anna was in total denial.

"Well, Mama and I will be home soon but we don't know yet, maybe one day or so. Your baby sister is excited to see you Anna."

Anna pouted, "_Me no egcited to see her! Me ony egcite to see mama_." (I'm not excited to see her! I'm only excited to see Mama.)

"Well, Anna, you'll have to see her sooner or later. You'll love her and she'll love you, trust me, it'll be very special for both of you to meet each other. This is beginning of a beautiful bond you two will always have. Let me talk to Mary now."

Derek told Mary to stay with Anna for the night since Emily and the baby would go home only the following day. Emily took some visits at the hospital, like Pen, JJ, her mother. Derek also called his mother and sisters. They would come the next day.

**========== / ==========**

_**Next day**_

Derek, Emily and Jolie were entering their home. It was afternoon. Anna was playing in the living room with her toys. Mary was there as well. As soon as Anna heard that someone was opening the door, she ran to look at them. That was when she could see Emily holding that small baby in her arms while Derek was holding a baby bag and locking the door.

While passing by Anna, Emily sat on the couch, "Anna, sweetie, come meet your little sister."

Anna pouted and ran to her bedroom. Emily and Derek shared a worried look, "Derek, take Jolie, I need to go talk to her."

Before handing Jolie to Derek, Emily said to Jolie, "Please, forgive your big sister. She loves you very much and she's glad to have you, even though this doesn't seem like that right now. She's just very shock and surprised, this is too new for her, she just needs time. I know she'll get along with you and will always love you, Jolie. Your Big Sis has always been the baby of the family and you coming along make her afraid that she'll lose me and her Dada. That will never happen but for someone her age, it is so hard to understand all this."

Emily went upstairs straight to Anna's bedroom. At first, she couldn't see where the girl was, but she could hear an almost imperceptible crying coming from the wardrobe. Emily knocked on the closet door, "Anna, the closet is not for people to be in, it's for only your things, also it's hard to breathe in there, please, come out so I can talk to you, sweetie."

"NO!"

Emily then opened the door of the wardrobe. Anna used both of her hands covering her face. Emily touched her arm, "Anna, I know this is so hard for you, to get used to being a big sis. I know you're afraid that you won't be loved by me and dada the same way, but trust me, this will never happen! Dada and I will always love you the very same way and equally to your baby sister. So, come, take my hand to meet your baby sister."

"_Mama, maybe later, pease, pease, wight now me need to be alone, me need some time, space and pwivacy. Me need time to get used to all this, me might just need to seep but me wan to be all lone wight now pease, just need some time to be alone and need this space, Mama_." (Mama, maybe later, please, please, right now I need to be alone, I need some time, space and privacy. I need time to get used to all this. I might just need to sleep, but I want to be alone right now, please, I just need some time to be alone and I need space, mama.)

"Okay, I won't pressure you. I'll give you some space to be alone, just promise me you'll stay out of your closet and lie on your bed?"

The girl nodded.

**========== / ==========**

_**Later that night**_

For the rest of that day, Anna stayed in her bedroom and only came out for dinner but she didn't even approach the bassinet. Emily and Derek were acting normal to not give too much importance to the situation. They just acted normally as a happy family. They also didn't pressure Anna, and they didn't talk about the baby. They mostly asked her about her day, school and everything about her.

After dinner, since Anna stayed in the living room near there watching cartoons while Jolie was sleeping in the bassinet, on the couch, and from the kitchen both Emily and Derek could see them, they wanted to give Anna some space and check if she would spy and see her sister for the first time. They were pretending they were only cleaning the kitchen, while talking about other things not related to the situation.

Anna then got up from the couch and spied in the kitchen to check if Emily and Derek weren't looking at her and she finally approached the bassinet to look at Jolie for the first time. Derek and Emily were trying to pretend they weren't paying attention.

"_They say I'm your big sister and I'd have someone to play with. But you're too small to play with. But I'll teach you evating, to count, to spell, evating you need to know, and at school, I'll make sure no one will bully you_." (They say I'm your big sister and I'd have someone to play with. But you're too small to play with. But I'll teach you everything, to count, to spell, everything you'll need to know, and at school, I'll make sure no one will bully you"

By this time, Emily was avoiding to look at Anna. A tear of happiness rolled down her face. Derek wiped it. "Relax, Princess, I knew she'd accept."

"Derek, I'm so relieved."

**========== / ==========**

_**The next day in the morning**_

Derek's cell phone was ringing. It wasn't even six in the morning yet.

"Oh, Derek, tell me it isn't from the BAU. You told me Hotch gave you a few days."

"Yes, he did, Princess. Hmm it's my mother. They're at the airport."

"Here in DC?"

"Yes." Derek got up quickly to get dressed.

"So soon? Why didn't you tell them I'd need few days to rest?"

"Emily, they're dying to meet Jolie, C'mon, please, try to understand."

"Derek, it's her third day of life! I almost didn't sleep this night as you saw… They could have waited a few days more."

"Okay, what do you want me to do? Go to the airport and ask them to go back to Chicago? C'mon…"

Anna entered the bedroom and jumped on the bed near Emily, "Mama, Mama, can I miss the school today? I think I need to stay home to play with my little sister."

"I'm glad to hear that, but no excuses, school is very important and you cannot afford to miss it unless you are sick. You'll have lots of time to play with your baby sister."

"Pease, Mama, Pease Dada?"

"You heard your Mama, okay? You need to go to school. I'll help you to get ready and I'll drop you at school myself to day. How does it sound?"

"_Boowing, boowing, boowing_!" (Boring, boring, boring!)

**========== / ==========**

During the rest of the day, Emily could hold Jolie only when she needed to breastfeed her, otherwise, she had to only watch Jolie being disputed by Fran, Sarah, and Desiree, and listening to everything they were saying, "Look, Mama, look at her smile.", "She's so pretty and adorable.", "She's so cute.", "She looks like Derek, perfectly, a carbon copy."

Fran was totally thrilled. For her, For her, it was a dream coming true, holding Derek's baby for the first time, a real Morgan blood. It was like a trip through the time, remembering when she was holding Derek as baby for the first time too.

"This is so overwhelming for me, right now, because this looks and feels exactly almost over four decades ago when I was holding Derek. Jolie looks exactly like him, even though she's the female form. This is just too amazing and surreal."

Emily smiled as she didn't even know if she needed to thank to this.

"Derek, it's almost 5. It's time to Anna get out of school. Can you go to pick her up?"

"Of course, Emily."

"Thank you." She was kind of being sarcastic.

Derek didn't understand why. He only gave her a look, "I did NOT forget about picking up Anna. I was about to check my watch now. You know how time flies when we're having fun."

Of course Emily didn't buy it. She only made a mad face to him.

**========== / ==========**

_**Half an hour later**_

Anna entered the living room running to meet Fran and her aunties Sarah and Desiree, but the welcome wasn't too good as she was waiting. They barely looked at Anna, which was totally understandable because they were so involved and focused on Jolie, seeing her for the first time. Emily couldn't believe in what her eyes were seeing, but she kept for herself.

"_Gamma Fran, I made this dawing for you_." (Grandma Fran, I made this drawing for you.) Anna took a paper from her schoolbag.

Anna chose a bad time to show the drawing because Fran was holding Jolie as Sarah and Desiree almost hadn't given her a chance to stay with her granddaughter. Also, Jolie slept for a big part of the afternoon.

"Thank you so much, sweetie." But Fran didn't pick up the paper, making Anna to feel a little disappointed.

Emily was pissed now. "Guys, I appreciated the visit but I think it's time for Jolie to rest now, I need some rest as well."

Derek was badly surprised, "Emily…"

"Don't 'Emily' me…" She whispered to him.

"Emily, they're staying for the dinner. Then, I'll take them to a hotel. You can go upstairs and rest and I take care of everything."

"Okay, then, I'm sorry and excuse me. I need some rest."

The tension that had formed was crumbling now, "Anna, sweetie, do you want to come with Mama, take a rest and tell me about your day at school?"

Anna and Emily went upstairs.

"Please, excuse Emily but she's still recovering from a long and painful labor that was two days ago only. She's still totally exhausted and you know how that is this makes you feel cranky and it is nothing against all of you."

"Wow, Derek, you deserve an award! This woman is so tough wow."

"She definitely didn't seem happy to see us and she cannot wait to get rid of us, she more or less said to make sure the door doesn't hit us on the way out."

"Sarah! Desi!" Fran scolded them. "There's no need to apologize, Derek, we all understand."

**========== / ==========**

_**Few hours later**_

Jolie was crying in hunger. Derek took her to Emily in the bedroom.

"I think this one needs her Mom now." He entered the bedroom.

"Are you feeling better now?"

"I'm good, Derek."

"Anna, come with me, dinner is ready, sweetie."

"_Yay, Dada always cook good things like chicken nugga and French fies_." (Yay, Dada always cooks good things like chicken nuggets and French Fries.)

Anna ran to downstairs but before Derek could go after her, he heard, "Make sure your family give her some attention."

Derek could feel how very bad tempered was her speaking. But he kept to himself.

**========== / ==========**

After dinner, he went back to their bedroom, "My family is going now. I'll take them to a Hotel. I'm bringing Anna with me so you can rest." He took Jolie in his arms, "I'll take her for them to say good night."

"Say good night for me too. I don't feel in the mood, please."

Derek brought Jolie to Emily in the bedroom and left with Fran, Sarah, Desi and Anna. He wanted to make Anna feel good. He took all of them to best ice cream place in DC. Derek and Anna shared a banana split.

"Dada, not fair, you took the whole dark chocolate caramel!"

"That isn't true, Princess. You took a lot too and your mother won't be happy with all this sugar you're taking."

"Oh, Don't tell me that Emily counts the sugar that she eats… wow…"

"She's right doing this, Sarah. This little girl here, wow, you have no idea what she's capable of. They went to stay in a Hotel and she ordered by herself all the junk foods of the menu."

They all laughed.

"Oh, little Anna, I was almost forgetting, thank you so much for the drawing. That was so sweet of you and you are very talented. I'll put it on my fridge when I get home. It's so very special to me, since I live far away from you, when I miss you, I can look at this picture on my fridge and this will make me feel close to you."

"You're very welcome, Gamma Fran."

**========== / ==========**

Derek entered home with Anna asleep in his arms. Emily was in the living room, on the couch. Jolie was sleeping in the crib in Emily's bedroom.

"She fell asleep in the car. I'll take her to her bed. Is everything okay?"

"Why did you take so long?"

"I'll take her upstairs." He ignored her question.

Derek put Anna in her bed and went downstairs for a glass of water.

"Derek, why did you take so long? Did you go to take them to Chicago? You know Anna has classes tomorrow morning."

"Relax, Emily, I just wanted to make sure you got some extra peace and quiet to rest. I took Anna, my Mom and sisters to enjoy the great evening air and to the best ice cream place in DC. I think all of USA was at store, that's why we took so long."

"You know she can't have too much sugar during the week, Derek!"

"Why do you have to be always so stubborn that you cannot allow just once, considering Anna was a bit down with not getting too much attention from my family and now she got it… she had so much fun with me and my mom and sisters. I wanted to make her feel better and trust me, Anna is feeling great now. You should feel better about all this."

"Yes, but don't you think that an ice-cream will make me forget the disdain they treated Anna this afternoon."

"I think you are seeing a whole ocean where there is just a drop of water."

"…A drop of water? They barely looked at her, Derek! …And you? You completely forgot about picking up Anna at school, if I didn't remind you, you'd have forgotten."

"No, I did not!"

"Yes, you did! I won't tolerate your family treating Anna the way I saw this afternoon! You can keep this in mind, Derek! I know this isn't an easy situation for your mother, sisters and you as Anna isn't blood related to you and them but she's my daughter and what I saw today I don't want to see ever again!"

"Emily, I'm sorry but I just think you're seeing too much. I know your hormones must be still all over the place and I totally understand that, but you know I love Anna the very same way I love Jolie, and my family feels the same way. The time I spent with Anna and them this evening shows this, and Anna really feel their love. Okay, the way they were with Jolie is completely natural and normal because Jolie is a new born! There's nothing to do with the fact she's blood related, but the fact she's an adorable and cute new born baby."

The few days following that Derek's family stayed there in DC, things were back to normal and Emily was a lot calmer.

**========== / ==========**

_**Three months later**_

Emily, Anna and Jolie were in Emily's bed already. It was past 10 at night when Derek came home from a case.

"Dada!" Anna jumped in his arms.

"I can't believe I'm here with my three Princesses! It's all that I can think about when I'm out." He kissed Anna on the cheek and bent down to kiss Emily in bed and kissed Jolie, "Look at this, she's smiling at Daddy!"

"_Goo angoo_…" Jolie was babbling.

"Nah, Jolie, is DA-DA, repeat DA-DA…" Anna was trying to teach Jolie to speak.

Emily got up from the bed making her path to the bathroom, "Derek since you're home and I'm soooo in need of a hot tub bath, you stay with them please for at least half an hour."

Derek grabbed her by the waist, whispering in her hear, "Too bad I cannot join you…"

"You may never join me ever again, just to prevent only having no more of those…" She quickly pointed to the kids.

"Ouch… that hurt, Princess…"

**========== / ==========**

As Jolie was sleeping in the crib near their bed, and Anna had fallen asleep, Derek took her to Anna bedroom. Jolie was still sleeping with them in the bedroom to ease things for Emily during the night. Derek was back in the bedroom, while Emily was still in the hot tub.

After a while, she came out of the bathroom and kind of freaked out seeing what Derek was doing. He had bent down and digging in the safe she kept inside the bookshelf, trying to open it.

"Derek!" He looked at her, "What are you doing?"

**========== / ==========**

**Thank you for reading! Please, it takes ten seconds to leave a comment…at least a small one… I promise some action very, very soon.**


	30. Chapter 30

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

She came out of the bathroom in her bathrobe drying her hair with the towel. She instantly stopped when she saw that Derek was trying to open her secret safe, "What are you doing?"

He wasn't quite aware of how angry she was, he tried to joke around, "C'mon, Princess, what's the code? Is it some government secret that it can maybe make us discover the time capsule or something?"

"Derek, there's no secret and please don't touch this safe ever again, I'm asking you."

He stood up, "If there's no secret, why can't I touch it?"

"Because… because… it—these are documents… only…"

"If they're only documents, why do you have to keep it from me?"

"If they're only documents, why the fuck they can be so interesting for you, Derek?"

"I don't understand. We're together for a long time now, Emily. I've seen this safe locked since I moved here with you and I've NEVER questioned you about it. We have a family together. What kind of marriage do we have if you cannot share things with me? If you cannot tell your husband then whom can you tell them to? I shouldn't have to dig for these secrets myself, it should have been voluntarily told by you from the beginning, and if you don't trust me enough to tell me, what kind of base does our marriage have?"

She sat on the bed, avoiding eye contact. She was biting her lips while thinking. Still without looking at him, she started to talk, "Derek, these are documents that have to do with my old job. Yes, they're secrets that I can't share with anybody, not even with my husband. I'm sorry, but I really can't and that's because they aren't only secrets of my professional life only, but of a whole… (She would say 'team', but she quit the idea)… there are a lot of other people involved, so please, I'm going to ask only once more, don't ask me again about it. These papers make no difference in our lives now."

Derek kept looking at her with a big "I do NOT understand" face.

"Please…" She begged.

He shook his head and left the bedroom.

**========== / ==========**

_**Two months later**_

Anna was four, while Jolie was five months only.

"Mommy, this isn't fair!"

"Anna, only today, please, Jolie has a fever. I just gave her a medicine. She needs to rest, please, try to understand."

"NO, I want to go to the ballet class! Grandma Royalty got me a new ballet dress and I want to use this today. Also, my birthday party is coming and I want to make a presentation, please, Mommy, please."

"Your birthday is in three months, Anna! You still have a bunch of time to practice."

"But I need to start to practice now! I need this to be perfect, Mommy, please, I need to go."

"I said 'no', Anna! Not today."

"I need to go, Mommy, call Mary, then."

"I gave Mary six months off, you know that."

"Call Grandma, call anyone, call aunt Pen…"

"Anna, please, no more, I'm getting a headache now. This is all too much for me, right now. I'm more stress than ever, right now. I don't want to yell at you and say something I'll regret later. So, please, drop all this."

"NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR, you only care about Jolie!"

Jolie that, so far, had been peacefully sleeping in Emily's arms, woke up and started to cry out loud.

"…You happy now? I should spank you!"

"I'M GONNA CALL DADDY!"

If it was other times, Emily wouldn't allow Anna to call Derek when he was in the middle of a case, but today, she let Anna call him because she wanted Derek to know how hard it was to be at home, taking care of two children and of the house. Anna was yelling on the phone, "Daddy, so unfair, Mommy will not take me to ballet today and I need this for my presentation for my birthday party, and she will not just because Jolie has a little fever which is nothing, so unfair, she only cares about Jolie and not about me." Derek could also listen to Jolie crying.

"That isn't true Anna, we all love you and care about you the same equally to Jolie, but a fever for someone at Jolie's age is very sensitive, we have to monitor it closely and make sure all is okay and Mama can't leave the house with Jolie unless it is to see the doctors. Let me talk to Mama now."

Anna threw the phone on the couch, "Daddy wants to talk to you." She ran to her bedroom, slamming the door, making Jolie cry even more.

"Hello."

"Emily, what's going on this time?"

"Are you deaf? Did you hear Anna? Are you hearing Jolie crying in my arms? If I could switch places with you I would, Derek. You try to stay with two babies, yes, Anna acting like a baby worse than Jolie."

"Anna said Jolie has a fever? Did you take her to the hospital?"

"No, I didn't. I'm assuming is just the teething. But if she doesn't get better, I'll take her to see the doctor, even if I have to drag Anna with me."

"I wish I could help you, Emily."

"I'm so stressed, Derek. The house is a total mess. I cannot control my four years old daughter. Her toys are all over the place, the kitchen is a total mess. Jolie doesn't stop crying."

"Emily, look, if you want… we can hire someone to help you."

"If you helped me more, Derek, I'd appreciate it. But all you do when you come back from cases is take your beer and sit your butt on the couch to watch your damn football games."

"Emily, whoa, you know what case we're working on now? A whole family, of two parents and their son, which is only ten, are breaking into homes and killing the parents to kidnap little girls… Just like Anna! And you're thinking I'm here on vacation? C'mon, it even looks like you've never been on the field. I understand you're stressed and everything but whoa."

"I need to hang up, Derek."

"I know how very stressfully hard and difficult this is for you. I hope this case can wrap up soon but not sure how long, but when I get home, we need to talk more about this. I'll do my best to help you and most important I want to help you to relax and not be so stressed because at this rate, you'll get sick and make matters even more difficult and worse."

"We'll talk when you're at home, Derek. I really need to put Jolie to sleep now."

About half an hour later, Emily put Jolie on the crib. She had finally fallen asleep again. Emily took this moment to take a quick shower since Anna was still in her bedroom.

While Emily was in the bathroom, Anna entered Emily's bedroom approached the crib, "Mommy and Daddy were very sad to have another girl because I'm the only girl they wanted. They wanted a boy, not you. They only love me, not you. They just feel sorry for you, not love like they feel for me. You're only getting their full attention along with everyone else because you are a helpless baby that doesn't stop crying."

But someone was already at the door, listening to everything, "Anna! How could you say all these awful and untrue things to your sister? We love Jolie and you the very same way! Those are very hurtful and mean things you said to her. Apologize to her immediately and I don't ever want you to repeat things like this, ever again, do you understand, young lady?"

Disrespecting and disobeying the orders from her mother, Anna ran back to her bedroom. But before she could close the door, Emily was there, "Anna! I told you to apologize!"

"She's just a baby. She doesn't understand what I said."

"Yes, she does! And you're going to apologize to her right now." Emily was pulling her by the arm.

"Ouch, you're hurting me. I'll never say sorry to Jolie because what I said was true, you can't make me to do this!"

"Oh, you don't want to apologize, okay. So you're going to stay here and don't leave your room until you change your mind and apologize to me and your little sister. Also, until you do this, you can forget about ballet classes". Emily put Anna in her bedroom and closed the door.

Anna started to beat on the door, yelling: "I hate Jolie, I hate you. I wish Jolie was never born. I'll make her life difficult to prove how much I'll always wish this."

On the other side of the door, Emily took three deep breaths to control her attempt to open the door and spank her own daughter. She went back to check on Jolie and the baby was sleeping. She sat on her bed, thinking, '_What if Anna turns out to be just like Ian and has his evil genes? What am I going to do? Oh, God, I hope she's nothing like her biological father because I don't know what I am going to do if she even has an ounce of his evil genes_.'

Emily approached the crib and was softly caressing Jolie on the head, whispering to her, "Jolie, sweetie, please forgive your big sister. I know she loves you and didn't mean those words she said to you. We all love you so much and your big sister will come around soon."

**========== / ==========**

A few hours later, Emily passed by Anna's bedroom to go to the kitchen and she could hear Anna was still crying. With her heart aching, she ignored and went downstairs to prepare dinner. She put Jolie in the bassinet. The baby was biting a baby toy. Jolie was starting to eat soups and juices since Emily would be back to work in a couple of weeks.

A few minutes later, Anna approached Emily, "I'm sorry, Mommy."

Emily dropped the knife that she was using to cut the vegetables. She looked up to prevent the tears from falling. Then she looked at Anna, "I really hope this is from your heart and you are being sincere, not only because of the ballet."

"I'm sorry for saying those things to Jolie and no, it isn't only because of the ballet. I only said that only in anger."

Emily bent down and took both of Anna's hands, "Anna I was so sad hearing all those mean things that you said to Jolie. She's just a baby. I couldn't stop crying. You have to promise that you'll never do this again, that you'll never say those things again, even when you're angry, like today, because there are things in life that we cannot take back and words are one of those things. I know you're still too young to understand, but promise me you'll never say those things ever again."

"I promise, Mommy."

Emily smiled relieved, "Now, give me a hug." Emily hugged her daughter tight, then kissed her on the cheek, "Now, please, apologize to your little sister."

Anna approached the bassinet. Jolie was too focused on biting the toy but she looked at her older sister, "I'm sorry for saying those things to you, Jolie, I was just angry because of the ballet. When you're big like my age you'll understand because you'll dance ballet, too."

Jolie didn't understand what Anna said to her, of course. She was only focused on biting the toy to relieve the pain of her teeth.

"Good, and Anna, please, while I finish dinner here, take all your belongings to your room. You're old enough to start to help a bit."

_**Two days later**_

It was evening when Derek finally came home. Anna jumped in his arms and from the bassinet Jolie was reaching out her little hands to him. He took both girls and went to the couch to play a bit with them. He was really exhausted from work. He had spent a whole week out.

"Daddy daddy, Mommy didn't take me to the ballet until Jolie got better. I wanted to go to the ballet because my birthday party is coming and I want to make a presentation. Grandma Royalty said I can make a huge party at her place. I want to show all my friends at school the castle Grandma bought for me in her backyard and the presentation will be in front of the castle, that's why I need to practice."

"We still didn't decide about this, Anna." Emily said from the kitchen. She was preparing dinner.

Ignoring Emily for her own sake, Anna kept talking, "Jolie keeps biting everything, which to me, means she must be hungry all the time."

"No sweetie, it's because her teeth just formed and new teeth always bother babies so much that they need to bite things to make the pain stop, this is the teething process for all babies. This happened to you, too, Anna, when you were Jolie's age."

"I bet my teeth were craving for French fries and pizza that age too."

"I doubt that very much since you hadn't ever taste French fries and pizza that age but I'm sure somehow you were still craving for them."

_**About half an hour later**_

"Derek, dinner is ready. I have a commitment. Can you please, feed them and put them to sleep since you're home? Can you do this just for this night?"

"A commitment?"

"Yes. I'm going to get ready."

She went upstairs to get ready, leaving Derek totally speechless.

Derek was sitting at the kitchen table. Anna was sitting along with him on another chair, and he had Jolie in his lap. He was giving the soup to her, while Anna was talking nonstop still.

"Daddy, I feel so anxious seeing how Mommy is always jumpy and acting nervous lately. I don't think it's because she's stressed with Jolie keeping her busy all the time. I think something is bothering her. I have to call her name as she always seems to be in another world all the time. Every time the phone rings Mommy jump up in the air things like this tells me something is bothering her and scaring her. It's like she's been chased by a monster or something just like we see in cartoons."

Emily entered the kitchen. She gave Anna and Jolie a kiss and left.

"At least, can you tell me where're you going?"

Before closing the exit door, she said, "I already told you, Derek, you're my husband and not my owner."

"You see, Daddy? …Mommy's acting so strange and weird like just now. It's like Mommy isn't Mommy anymore that someone took over her body that's why she's acting like this. I remember seeing this on TV about a movie call "The Invasion of The Body Snatchers."

**========== / =========**

She parked her car in front of a bar. It was raining. But she entered the bar anyway. She saw that he was leaning on the counter bar. She hesitated but then she approached him, touching his backs to let him know she was there.

"Hey, look at you. Hi". He hugged her.

"Oh, sorry I'm wet." She broke the hug.

"I'm- I'm-I'm sorry to make you drive in this."

"It sounded urgent."

"It's really good to see you. It's been forever."

She cut him off, "Johnny, what's going on?"

"It's about Matthew. He's dead, Emily. I—I didn't want to tell you over the phone."

"How?" She was devastated.

"His parents said that he had a heart attack."

"Had you seen him?"

"Yeah… A couple of times."

"And how was he?"

"He was Matthew. He was rambling, a little chaotic."

"He was using."

"I don't know. Probably."

She was reading his signals. "There's something you're not telling me."

"The last time I saw him, there was something different. He was talking crazy, but the, uh- The fear- I can't quite explain It- but I know it was real."

"W-what was he saying?"

"He said, "Johnny, they're going to kill me."

"Who's "they"?"

"He wouldn't say. He said they already murdered a guy from Georgetown named Tommy "V", and made it look like an accident."

"Do you know anyone named Tommy "V"?"

"No. Look, he's probably Just being paranoid, but with what you do for a living now, I mean, you're one of the only people he ever trusted, Emily."

"Okay, I can check it out. I was about to come back to work in a few days but I'm going to check this now. I'll keep you informed."

She turned her backs to him leaving the bar. He only watched her leaving. What else could he wish after what he did in the past?

**========== / ==========**

At home, Derek was doing his best to keep both Jolie and Anna happy watching Mickey Mouse cartoons. Jolie was including trying to clap her little hands, adorably, super cute. He was worried about Emily but he wanted to make sure his daughters was having a good time and not see how worried he was.

"Jolie, say my name: AN – NA"

"_Angoo, goo angoo, aggie aggie_." Baby languages mostly.

"Nah, Jolie, look at me, say AN-NA!"

"Anna, your baby sister is trying to say your name but the sounds she's making are the same ones that you used to make and other babies too. Give her time and before you know it, she'll say Anna so much time that you'll tell her to stop saying your name and calling you.

"Oh oh, I just regretted it Daddy."

**========== / ==========**

Emily went straight to the BAU to talk to Hotch about this and ask if the BAU could help somehow. She entered his office as the door was opened.

"What's wrong?"

"Um, I just found out that an old friend of mine died."

"I'm sorry."

"There's a chance that he could have been murdered, and there might be a second case."

"What do you need?"

"Just some leeway to check it out..."

"Emily, you're still on maternity leave. Let us look into it."

"Matthew was incredibly messed up, and I hadn't seen him in a long time, but he was important to me."

"At least let us help."

"Okay, I'll come back to work tomorrow so we can look at this, and thank you."

"Anything."

**========== / ==========**

Emily opened the door of her house it was already past midnight. The lights were off. She made her path to the kitchen to take a glass of water. When the light of the fridge lit part of the kitchen she could see a person there.

"Geez! You scared me, Derek! What the fuck? You made me jump out of my skin. What are you trying to do? Give me a heart attack? I could have screamed so loud and wake up the kids as I'm sure they are both asleep now"

"I can't stand this anymore, Emily."

She passed by him, "Not now Derek, please, spare me."

But before she could reach the stair, he said, "No, Emily! We're going to have a talk right now!"

She looked at him. They could barely see each other because the only light that was there was from the moon, from outside.

"I've been trying to be comprehensible, first because you were pregnant and your hormones were all messed up, then, because your legs were aching, you were getting fat, then because Jolie was born and Anna wasn't happy about this, I've been patient during all the time and doing my best to help you, to stay with my children the maximum of time that I can as you know how BAU schedule can be, but I just can't! As much as I try my best I'm not able to make you happy. I don't even remember the last time I see you smiling. God what happened to us?"

"What happened is that you don't trust me. I'm sick of tired you treating me like a criminal. I'm not an UNSUB. I'm your wife! Before you were trying to crack my safe, now you scared the daylights outta me here sitting in the dark and popping up like a ghost. I won't tolerate the suspicions and questioning my every move anymore because you are not my keeper."

"How can I trust you when you don't trust me?"

"Derek, you know how very happy is the beautiful family and home we build together. I'm just really stressed right now with everything and I'll let you know what you need to know in due time. I'm just asking for space just for tonight. I'm really exhausted right now and need some rest now and some sleep."

"Okay, go, just run away again."

She looked at him and made her path to the stair. But she stopped on the second step. She turned around and came back to hug him. She practically threw herself in his arms. He hugged her tight, holding her head on his chest. There were lot to be said but that night they chose to be in silence and they could feel that the love was there, untouchable.

**========== / ==========**

The next day, Mary was back and Emily was back to work. They were working on Mathew's case. In the searching, Garcia had found someone matching that name in the area that recently died from dehydration. There were similarities between the two deaths but no medical rationale for tying the two together as murders. A third person in the area also died during the case in a similar way but again no medical indication of an unnatural death or rationale tying the death to the first two.

During the investigation, Derek, Emily and Reid went to visit the crime scene of the third victim when the fiancée of the dead guy showed up there.

"Can I help you?"

"We're with the FBI. We're investigating a serious of unexplained deaths."

"I don't understand."

"Uh, had Patrick been acting erratically lately?"

"He had a brain condition."

"He was getting headaches, wasn't acting like himself. Were you aware of a trip he took recently to Galicia, Spain?"

"Uh, there's a church there called _Santiago de Compostela_. We think he may have visited."

"My fiancée traveled a lot for work. I don't know everywhere he went."

"With all due respect, Ma'am, I don't think you're telling us the truth."

"Excuse me?"

"Did you believe Patrick was possessed?"

"I'd like some privacy, please?"

"Was someone trying to rid him of demons? - is that how he died?"

"No."

"You really believe he had a brain condition?"

"Emily."

"You need to go now."

"Because if you sanctioned an exorcism and he died, I can press to make you an accessory to murder…"

Emily, Emily, that is enough. Stop it. Let's go. I apologize for the intrusion."

Derek was driving back to the BAU.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Derek? You know I was right back there!"

"I'm trying to protect you, Emily!"

"I don't need protection! That woman couldn't even say Patrick's name. She could only say, "my fiancée," because she's convinced something else died in that room that night."

**========== / ==========**

The team worked hard to find out and arrest the suspect. The last victim was exactly John Cooley. Derek was bringing the priest while Emily was following John to the ambulance.

"Emily, come on. I'm fine."

"No. Look at you. Stress can tear your body apart. That's what happened to Matthew."

He stopped walking to look at her. "Emily, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you… in Italy."

They shared a look and they knew exactly what they were talking about, not the same could be said about Derek who was only looking at their behavior by far.

"Just let them do their job."

John gave her a kiss, millimeters from her mouth.

**========== / ==========**

That night Emily went straight to home while Derek went to a bar with Rossi. He needed to vent.

"Rossi Man, it's like I'm married to a complete stranger at times. I feel like she has a mask on and every time I try to put my hands to try to take off it and it and reveal what is behind there, she puts her hand to block it and never want to tell me all her secrets behind that mask and her secret life. We were supposed to be able to share every single thing with each other. That's what I truly believe marriage is about, that's what I think and I thought she would feel this same way too."

"Derek, don't complicate things, the main thing for a couple to be together is love. Ask yourself if she really loves you, and if yes, put aside your ego and just enjoy. The love is all that matter. I learned this too late and ended up alone."

At this moment, Derek's cell phone beeped with a message. "_Derek, please, come home. I'm so sorry. I love you_."

Rossi kind of guessed what the message was about, "You still think that the past is more important than the future?"

**========== / ==========**

**Guys, I'm using some chapter of CM to show where in the period this story is, ie in the middle of season four. Ian will come back in season six, but I'll jump the time. Thanks for reading.**


	31. Chapter 31

**Guys, some people are asking for a little spicy so, first of all, I have to warn you that this chapter has a bit of spiciness. If you're under age, please, don't read it.**

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

He entered his home and it was past midnight. He went to check on the girls and they were peacefully sleeping. He kissed them on the forehead and left.

He entered his bedroom. It was dark. He assumed Emily was asleep. He tried to be quiet, then. He sat on his side of the bed to take off his shoes. His bare feet were touching the carpet, giving him a warm sensation, but nothing compared with the touch of her hands on his backs, under the shirt, letting him know that she was awake.

Assuming she was still a little pissed at him because of the case, he barely turned to look at her, "Sorry if I woke you."

"No. Actually, I was waiting for you."

He looked at her through the light of the crack in the window. She stirred in bed and rested her body on one of her elbow. "Derek, I'm sorry about everything. I know things have been tense between us lately and I want to make it all up to you. I love you."

"I just want things to work out well for us and our family."

"Me too, Derek."

She touched his arm, making the path from hand to shoulder, bringing him close to her, whispering, "Kiss me."

He hugged her for a while. They were only feeling each other's touch as they were missing this. She opened her mouth as an invitation. Derek kissed her, softly and deeply without rushing. The love they felt for each other was there, so solid that it almost could be cut. Their love was strong and they knew it. They just wanted to enjoy the moment.

After the long kiss, Derek broke it to take off the rest of his clothes and join her under the sheets. He hugged her touching her skin under the pajamas, kissing her mouth again deeply but softly. With his strong hands on her slim body, and wet and deep kisses, he could feel the warmth of her hot body, making him shiver in pleasure in anticipation. He immediately heard a moan when his tongue made its path from the mouth to the neck while his hands were unbuttoning the top of her pajamas. He didn't even stop to wonder why she wasn't wearing her bra just assuming she had everything planned for him.

She curved her body to him and moaned when his tongue softly touched her nipples before sucking them harder at the same time that his fingers were fighting for space with the elastic of her pajamas pants and panties. "No matter how many times I made love to you, Emily, each time feels like the very first time to me."

She brought him for another deep and wet kiss while his fingers were extremely busy inside her panties causing her to have to break the kiss just a little to let go a moan and whisper on his ear, "I want you, Derek", he kissed her again with a smile on his lips.

After the kiss, he quickly got up from the bed to lock the door. As he was totally naked, she rested the body again on her elbows to watch him. She bit and licked her lips and frowned in desire. He was so perfect, his body, his muscles, everything. Plus: he was 'entirely' ready for her, so to speak.

Even though the bedroom was dark, the light of the full moon was illuminating the environment so he could see she was looking at his body. An alpha male like him, he was the exhibitionist type, especially if the person he was parading for was his woman. He slowly made his path to the bed, but before she could join the bed, he pulled the sheet. She was in her pajamas pants only. "Tsc, tsc, Princess, not fair…"

He slowly pulled the pajamas' pants off along with the panties out of her body. "You're way overdressed for this party. What I have in mind you cannot have any material of clothing on." She was smiling at him seductively. He kept saying, "This party I plan for you to scream like you never screamed before but you'll have to keep it down as we don't want to wake up any of our baby girls". Before rejoining the bed, he gave a good look at her naked body.

Already in bed, he held her naked body in his arms, whispering on her ear, "Oh, Lord, how you're beautiful". He positioned his body between her opened legs. He was nibbling her inviting nipples, while one of his fingers was gently checking how much she was ready for him. He smiled, "Hot and wet." She smiled but moaning on the sequence. She had almost forgotten how big he was. "Oh, D-Derek."

Luckily for Derek, her nails were short as she had been biting them for like: her entire life! She was strongly nailing her fingers on his backs while he was thrusting arder and harder. Derek was also trying to kiss her on the mouth to keep her quiet every time her moans were a bit too loud. "Shh, Princess". "Oh, fuck, Derek". "I am, Princess, but you have to keep this between us". She, then, started to bite his shoulders and move her hips helping him in the movement while he was thrusting deeper and harder. "Yes, Princess, like this."

"You like this, hot thing? Let me show you." She inverted positions with him and she was on top, wiggling her hips, while he was holding her with both hands on her hips helping with the movements.

**========== / ==========**

After the passionate lovemaking, she was lying on his chest and he was caressing her head. "I love you so much, Derek."

"I love you more, Princess."

"I'm sorry for the way I've been behaving lately."

"I totally understand, Emily. Like you said, let's focus on our future."

**========== / ==========**

_**Eighteen months later**_

"Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday Dear Jolie, Happy birthday to you."

Jolie was blowing out the candles of her **two years old** birthday party. The BAU family was there, also Derek's relatives from Chicago and Ambassador. They were eating and drinking and talking and the kids were playing. Henry was three now, and Jack a few months older than Anna, **but both were six**.

"Derek, have you seen Anna?"

"No. Do you want me to check?"

"No. She might be in the bedroom again. I'll check myself."

Emily went upstairs. She knocked on the door and opened it. "Anna, sweetie, why are you not at the party with us? Your little sister is going to feel sad. It's her birthday party."

"No, she won't and I feel better here."

Emily approached her and sat on the edge of the bed. "Why?"

"I was always the number one in everyone's attention and now I'm nothing thanks to her. I feel like I'm invisible."

"It's because it is her birthday, Anna. It's natural that all the attentions go to her."

"The fact that it is her birthday makes people feel more comfortable to pay attention only on her and don't have to pretend that they like me. Grandma Fran and Aunts Sarah and Desiree, especially, never notice me. They only see Jolie. Only Grandma Royalty notices me but that's still not enough to make up for everyone else including, Daddy."

"Anna, please, do this for me? You know how much I love you, don't you? Do you have any doubts about it?"

Anna shook her head pointing no.

"So, please, do this for me? Makes me sad the fact you're here in the bedroom while we're celebrating the birthday party of your sister."

"Okay, but only for you, Mommy."

When they went downstairs Anna saw that Jolie was holding the Chicago Teddy bear. She ran approaching Jolie and she snatched it from her hands, nearly knocking the little girl.

"Daddy bought this for me only!"

Fran was near them, "You need to share with your things with your baby sister, Anna."

"No! Jolie wasn't even here when Daddy bought this for me!"

Emily approached, "Anna, please, let her play a bit with this."

"Not fair, Mommy, Jolie drooled all over my favorite teddy bear. Stupid baby, it's ruined now, yuck."

"Don't call your baby sister stupid! You don't call anyone stupid, ever, Anna! Especially your sweet baby sister, do you hear me, young lady? You better say sorry to Jolie, now."

"No, not fair! Look how many toys she got for her birthday, why she always wants my stuff?"

Derek approached them, "Anna, you can't grab things away from your sister like that, she almost fell. You could have hurt her. You have to learn to negotiate with reasoning and not by force. Now, give it to her. It's her birthday. Show her some love."

"If Anna is always that aggressive with Jolie, wow, poor little girl, I hope Derek does something about this very soon. This is not right. Anna is too rude." Sarah was talking to Desiree and she didn't care that Emily was near there and could hear everything.

Ambassador approached Anna, patting on her backs, "I can buy zillions of these Teddy bears for you, sweetie, never mind. Let your sister play with yours."

"You can buy zillions, millions but it won't be the same! This bear has one special meaning to me. It's my first gift, ever, from Daddy to me. You can't replace that kind of gift with any bear even if they look like the same because of the value it has to my heart. But no one care about me, everyone only care about this baby!" Anna threw the Teddy bear on the floor, near Jolie, "_Me no baby_!" Anna ran to her bedroom again.

Emily and Derek shared a worried look, "I'll go."

Derek went upstairs to talk to Anna while Emily stayed with Jolie and the guests.

He entered her bedroom. She was sitting on the bed, embracing her legs. He sat on the bed, "Anna, it was not right what you did. It's your sister's birthday. Would you like if she ruined your birthday party, too?"

"She already did, several times! I can never give a party at the castle Grandma Royalty gave me only because I didn't let Jolie play in there, because it was for my friends and not for Jolie. She's just a stupid baby!"

"Stop saying these things about your sister! You want to stay in your room? Okay, you got what you want but now you're going to stay here until the moment I decide (he emphasized the "I"). He locked the bedroom, taking with him the iPod, leaving Anna crying.

Derek went downstairs. Emily approached him, "How is she?"

"She's fine. She wants to stay there."

People in there already knew about the whole situation and that Anna always had hard time to accept her little sister. They were kind of used to situations like this one.

**========== / ==========**

_**Few weeks later**_

It was a Sunday and Derek was in the supermarket when a man was knocking on their home door. Emily was on the laundry when she listened to the doorbell ringing. She didn't even have time to put the clothes in the machine so she could go check, when she heard, "Mommy, there's a man here."

While walking to the living room, Emily was saying, "How many times I told you to not open the door to strangers."

She looked to the man and she couldn't believe, "A—What are you doing here? Go inside Anna, Jolie."

The two girls were at the door looking at that man. Well, children are always curious.

"You're always so sweet at me, hello to you, too, darling."

"And you always know how to piss me off even more."

"Well, not that I do this on purpose but you know that I love to see you pissed."

"What do you want? I'm busy."

"I can believe you aren't going to invite me in. I came from London just to see you. I still don't bite."

She opened the door against her wills, rolling her eyes, "Clyde, be quick because Derek's about to arrive anytime. I don't want to have to explain to him why you're here especially if you're here for nothing."

"I'm visiting a friend."

"A friend that's very busy with her daughters as you can see."

He gave a good look at Jolie, "I didn't know you had another child. Congrats, Emily…"

"Thank you."

He also couldn't help but notice how much Anna looked like her biological father. "They look so much like their Daddy."

If looks could kill Clyde would be dead now.

"I look like whom? You can't mean my daddy. Jolie looks more like him than me."

"Thanks so much, Clyde, I really needed this now." "Anna, sweetie, there're many other ways to look like a person, okay. Not only by the skin color."

"Clyde, you need to go, now. Thanks for coming but next time you come, please, give me some warning. You know I don't like unexpected visits."

Emily followed him to the door, "I'm sorry, but I already told you that I want to forget about this part of my life and this unfortunately includes you." She said in a way that only he could hear.

"I totally understand, but keep in mind that as much as you want to pretend that this never happened, it doesn't matter what you do or say, your past will always be there."

Emily closed the door still thinking about what he just said in a kind of trance.

"Mommy, who is that strange man? His accent is so weird but his style is so proper and elegant like Grandma Royalty. He reminds me of Grandma Royalty. I think he'd be good match for Grandma to marry."

"He's just, he's no one important. Anna, Jolie, please do not tell your daddy about this visit okay, because this is nothing important."

**========== / ==========**

Derek came from the supermarket bringing a lot of groceries. Derek and Emily were unpacking the groceries from the bags and placing some of the groceries on the kitchen shelves and the others in the refrigerator and freezer. He helped Emily with the lunch and set the table while the children were playing near there in the living room.

During the lunch, they were sitting at the table and talking and eating. Jolie was in her baby high chair. "_Dada, this stwange man came see mama and us today_." (Daddy, this strange man came to see Mama and us today.)

Emily opened her mouth a bit. She had to think quick, maybe she could still fix this. But she didn't even have time.

"Mommy, you told us not to tell Daddy about this visit but Jolie is such a big mouth baby and blabbed it out. I always say, she's just a baby."

"Me no baby!" (I'm not a baby!) "Me no baby!" (I'm not a baby!)

"Yes, you are! Mommy asked us to not tell Daddy and you did!"

While the girls were kind of arguing, Emily could barely look at Derek. She could feel his look on her. She got up from the chair and took her dish to the sink, "Anna, Jolie, that's enough, and finish your food!"

She was at the sink, washing the dishes, while Derek and the girls were still at the table.

"Mommy, it's so hot today. Can we go to Grandma to swim?"

"Not today, Anna, and as far as I know you didn't even finish your homework. You better do this afternoon."

"I didn't do it because Jolie was bothering me all the time because she wanted to play. She doesn't understand I'm a big girl."

"_Me big girl too_." (I'm a big girl, too.)

"No, you aren't. You're a baby."

"_Me no baby_!" (I'm not a baby.)

The girls had no idea about the tension between their parents. They finished eating and the girls went to play. Derek took the rest of the dishes to the sink. "Do you need some help?"

"Not here, thank you. Just be sure Anna will finish her homework."

**========== / ==========**

_**Hours later**_

Derek spent the afternoon on the couch watching child movies with the two girls. After the movie, Emily came from the kitchen with a baby bottle, handing it to Jolie, "Here, sweetie, and you Anna, go finish your homework."

"But Mommy…"

"Now, Anna. Please."

"Anna, you heard your Mommy. Go."

Anna went to her bedroom while Jolie was lying down on the couch, with the baby bottle, watching cartoons.

"Well, I'm going to take a shower."

"Okay."

Emily went upstairs. When she was coming out of the bathroom, after the shower, in her bathrobe and drying her hair, Derek was there in their bedroom.

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

She knew he was talking about the visit.

"Derek, I didn't want that you knew about this visit because it was just an unwanted visit by someone that I want to forget. It was my former boss and he's part of the things that I just want to completely forget about, and just concentrate on you and our family."

"Has he been bothering you?"

"No, not at all, I asked him to leave and he did."

"The same guy went to see you like years ago at the BAU?"

"Yes, it's him."

"Okay. I won't pressure you. I promised I'd never ask you about your past and Anna's biological father, and I won't ask, but feel free if someday you want to share with me."

**========== / ==========**

_**After dinner**_

Derek was downstairs watching football. Jolie was already sleeping in her crib, in the girls' bedroom. Anna was in Emily's bedroom.

"Mommy, why does Jolie look so much like Daddy and I don't?"

That question took Emily totally by surprise. But she knew that this day would come. She took both Anna's hands on hers, "Anna…(she cut the eye contact to think better how she would tell this, she bit her lips.)… look… when I first met Derek, you were a baby."

Emily was thinking what to say next but she didn't have time. Anna pulled her hands from Emily's. "Daddy didn't help you to put me in your belly?"

Emily was only looking at Anna, thinking.

"You said Jolie was in your belly because when a woman and a man loved each other so much and they stay together and Daddy helps put the seed in your belly and that's why Jolie was made but not me? Daddy didn't help you to make me?"

It was a very delicate and difficult situation for Emily, but she as much as it could hurt, she couldn't lie. "Anna, like I said, when I first met Derek, you were a baby. You were six months old when he saw you for the first time. He instantly fell in love with you, sweetie. Even though he didn't help me with his seed, he's a perfect Daddy for you. He has so much love for you, which is even better, because he chose you to be his daughter, his daughter from the heart."

"Now I know Daddy loves Jolie much more than me. How could he not? Jolie is his real daughter and I'm not."

Anna had tears in her eyes. "Grandma Fran and Aunt Sarah and Aunt Desiree hate me. It's because I'm not their real grandchild and niece like Jolie."

"Anna that's not true at all. They don't hate you. No one hates you. They all love you and you are wrong. They might seem to favor Jolie because she is the baby and not that reason you're saying. Also, sometimes, they're just upset and sad when you treat Jolie bad and do means things to her. And this is not true about Daddy. He loves you so much, exactly same way like Jolie."

"Who is my real father, then?"

"Your father is Derek and he'll always be. There's no other father."

"And the man helped you to put me in your belly? Where's he?"

Emily was thinking, '_Oh God, please, make this be only a nightmare. Ian will always haunt me no matter if he is locked in prison forever. I can never tell Anna about Ian. This will haunt Anna for the rest of her life if she knew what kind of father she has_.'

"Where's my father, Mommy?" Anna insisted.

"Anna, your father is Derek!"

"No, I'm asking about my real father!" She was crying.

"Anna, it isn't seed or blood that makes a real father!"

"People at school say that when our parents say the child is from the heart it means you're adopted. Am I not your real daughter too, Mommy?" She was getting really upset and angry now.

"Oh God, of course I'm your real mother, not only because I raise you but because you came from my belly, just like Jolie."

"…And about my father? Where's he?

"Anna, Derek is your father, sweetie. He's the one who take care of you. He was with you when I first needed to rush with you to a hospital because you had a strong fever and you were just a baby. He was with you when you were scared in your first day at school. He helps with your homework. He does everything for you, sweetie and he loves you with his life I can assure this to you. This man you're asking about is no longer a part of our lives. He's gone to another planet. He'll never be part of our lives and it's best for all of us."

The little girl was only six. It was too much for her to bear, to know that Derek wasn't her real father. She started to cry out loud. Emily's heart was breaking in zillions pieces now.

"Anna, please do not cry. Can you answer this for me: have you not always feel Derek's love for you since you were a baby and even now since Jolie was born? He still loves you and treats you the same since the very first time he saw you. You can't say you aren't love by him and this kind of love is what makes a real father, not just biology and seed."

Anna was still crying. Derek then opened the door since it was time to sleep, "What's going on?"

In the middle of an out loud crying, Anna answered him, "Daddy, I know the truth now. You aren't my Daddy."

Derek looked at Emily. Her eyes were red even though she had been fighting back the tears. He could assume what was going on there. He approached and sat on the bed near Emily. Anna was standing in front of them.

"Anna, I don't know what you been told by your Mommy but I have some idea. You're so wrong. I'm your daddy in the eyes of the law and in my heart. That's what is most important. I love you the very same and equally to Jolie, even though you might not believe that. From the first time I met you, I fell in love with you. Your Mom is not related by blood to me either so are you saying my love for her is not strong? Nonsense… it's the same for you. I love all my girls so very equally you know that, Anna."

But the lump in Anna's throat was so big and difficult to just swallow what Derek just said to her. It would take a whole universe of love and more to make up the huge rejection she was feeling now.

"YOU'RE LYING!" She yelled and ran away to the living room, since she wanted to be alone and Jolie was sleeping in their room.

"What did you say to her?"

"I told her the truth, Derek."

"Why?"

"Because she asked me! She asked why Jolie looks like so much like you and she doesn't. I had to tell the truth. Sooner or later, she'd know. Don't you think she always felt rejected by your sisters, especially Sarah? …and Derek, as much as you say you love them equally, deep down, I know this isn't true and I'm sure she can feel this too."

"No, Emily, I will never admit that I love Jolie more than Anna just because she's my biological child and Anna is not. All I know is the first time I met Anna I fell in love with her and that never changed one bit. Don't be silly, Emily. We have to focus on making her understand that nothing changed and never will change. I'll go talk to her."

"No, Derek, let me do this. This is my responsibility more than yours."

Before she could leave the bedroom, Derek held her arm, "I'll let you do this, but no, this is our responsibility. They're both our daughters and everything that happens to them is our responsibility equally."

Meanwhile, Anna threw herself on the couch and yelled crying in pain on the cushion to muffle the sound.

Emily went downstairs and sat on the edge of the couch near Anna. The girl was sobbing. Emily started to caress on the head for a while then she started to talk, "Anna, let me tell you a story. During all my life, I never thought that I could love or be loved by someone. I was always taught that love was only for the weak people and that was not a good thing, and somehow, this kind of thoughts ruled my whole life until… until the day I met your biological father."

Anna was slowly stopping to cry to listen.

"I wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. We were supposed to be partners only, at work. But Anna, it happened. I was totally in love with him when we created you."

Anna sat to be able to look at her mother, wiping tears.

"But he had a dangerous job, with a lot of dangerous people surrounding us and I had to protect you, from all of them. As a mother, what else could I do? I had to sacrifice everything to protect you, including my love for him."

"Do I look like him?" Anna said with her cracking voice.

Emily wiped the tears from her daughter's face. "Yes, you look like exactly like him."

"But Anna, again, I'm so happy and glad because I couldn't give a father better than Derek to you. He loves you so very much. He made a point of adopting you legally just in case something happens to me in the field, you wouldn't be taken from him. Derek is a wonderful person and you know that. He's your father and he'll always be. Nothing will change. I promise."

"Now give me a hug."

Emily put Anna sitting on her lap and started to caress on the hair, kissing her forehead.

**========== / ==========**

For the next weeks, Anna's behavior had changed a little, it was oscillating between depression and anger, but nothing that Emily and Derek weren't expecting. They knew it was a transition period and they hoped that it would pass soon.

They were at home, in the evening, Anna was doing her homework on the coffee table.

"Anna, let's play hide and seek?"

"Do you wanna play?" There was a bit of mischief, not to say wickedness, in that question.

"Yay."

"Okay, I'll count until ten... One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten... Ready or not, here I come."

It seemed a normal situation between two children, but Anna had another plan. She knew Jolie was hiding in the closet. It was a closet with no lock, but Anna took a chair to block it so Jolie couldn't open it. Jolie entered there, she wasn't worried because she knew she could come out anytime. She wasn't expecting someone would lock her in there.

As soon as she realized she was locked, she started to bang on the closet and screaming loud: "_Mommy, Daddy, Help, me can't beathe_." (Mommy, Daddy, help, I can't breathe.)

Emily and Derek were downstairs so they took a while to hear the screams. They ran to check what was going on. They saw that the chair was blocking the closet door.

"Oh my God." Derek took the chair and Emily took the little girl on her arms.

"_Me COUDA NO OPEN THE DOO. ME COUDA NO BEATH THEWE, MAMA_." (I couldn't open the door. I couldn't breathe in there, Mama)

"I know sweetie, shh, shh, everything is okay now, shh"

Emily and Derek were furious at Anna now. They went downstairs.

"Anna! This is the most awful thing you ever done! Do you know that you could have made Jolie very sick or even worst because she could not breathe? Do you know the impact that it could have done? Do you? Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Emily was yelling real loud at her. Anna put both hands on each ears pretending she wasn't listening to her mother.

"Anna! I'm talking to you!"

"She was bothering me with my homework!"

"Anna, she's only two. How could you do that?"

"She was bothering me, Daddy!"

"I don't believe that, but even if she was, you could have called me or Mommy to help you. There's no reasonable explanation for what you did. You will not go anywhere but school for the next entire month. No ballet, no malls, no birthday party of your friends, anywhere! You might think this punishment too severe but we want you to know how serious and malicious an act you just did to your sister. Take all this time to think." Derek was really pissed and yelling.

"What? No fair! No fair!"

"Well, it was very far from fair what you did to your sister. She could not breathe. Do you know how serious that is? You know what can happen to a person when they cannot breathe for a long time do you Anna? Do you, Anna? Answer me!"

It seemed that Anna had become aware of how serious the situation was. She started to cry, "Yes, they could die, but I did not think about that. I never would want Jolie to die."

"Well, you should have thought of that before."

Anna approached Jolie that was on Emily's lap. "I'm sorry. I'll never do this again."

Jolie had the pacifier in her mouth. Emily was trying to take it from her since she was two already, but it was hard. Jolie always need the pacifier to keep calm as Anna was always bothering her.

"Daddy, can I go to the ballet at least?"

"No, Anna, I'll keep this punishment and you can be aware that you'll be under close observation and you'll only get your normal life back when you deserve it."

Anna pouted and stomped to her bedroom.

Still holding Jolie, sitting on the couch, Emily started to cry. "Mama, me sowwy. Me wis you never cwie. Me want catch your teis and flus it down tolet. Me ony want see you laff ony not cwie eva, pease, foegive me, mama." (Mama, I'm sorry, I wish that you never had to cry. I want to catch your tears and flush them down the toilet. I only want to see you laugh only not cry ever, please, forgive me, Mama.)

"That's okay, sweetie. None of this is your fault. Okay? I promise I'll do my best to always protect you, so nothing bad will ever happen to you."

"_Can me seepa with you and Dada tis night_?" (Can I sleep with you and Dada this night?)

Emily kissed her on the forehead, "Of course you can, sweetie."

**========== / ==========**

Jolie was already on Emily and Derek's bed. They left Jolie on their bed and went to say good night to Anna. They entered the bedroom and she was under the covers already.

"Anna, we're here to say good night. We know that you were being sincere about apologizing to your baby sister, but you have to think about it, and promise us that you'll never do this again."

"I promise, Mommy."

"Good night, Anna."

"Good night, Daddy."

Derek and Emily left the bedroom but Emily took a while to close the door. Her gut feeling was trying to tell her something wasn't right.

But she had such a difficult day, first chasing a killer, and then in the evening with the children, that she did not give much importance to that strange feeling. She left the door ajar and left. She just needed some sleep.

**========== / ==========**

About forty minutes later, Emily was still wide awake. She could hear Derek's snore and the soft breathing of Jolie, both of them were asleep. She didn't want to wake them up so she got up from the bed and went downstairs for a glass of water.

As soon as she reached the living room, she could notice that the micro lights of the alarm were off. She instantly approached it. She also could see that the keys were in the lock, what was also so very weird since it wasn't a habit of them. The next thing, she tried to open the door and it was not locked. All the air seemed to be stolen from her. She could not breathe. She locked the door and with her body trembling entirely, she rushed to Anna's bedroom to find… an empty bed.

**========== / ==========**

**Thank you for reading and be nice: leave a comment, please, please. Thank you!**


	32. Chapter 32

**I own nothing**

**======== / ========**

"Derek, Derek, wake up, wake up." He was on the bed and she was shaking him, talking as low as possible to not wake up Jolie.

"W—what's going on, Emily?"

"The door, the door was opened and Anna isn't in her bed. She's gone, Derek."

Down the stairs, she was saying, "I came here to pick up a glass of water and I noticed that the alarm was off and the keys were in the lock but the door wasn't locked and then I went to check her bedroom and she wasn't there, oh My God, Derek."

Derek didn't even know what to think or do. He checked the door and the alarm, "There's no sign of forced entry."

"You think she's gone willingly?"

"I don't know."

Emily was in her satin robe, "I need to go to look for her."

Derek held her arm, "Emily, no, there's a horrible storm outside, it's one in the morning, whatever has happened, she won't be out there in the rain."

"We can't stay here only waiting." She was on the edge of despair.

"But we can't go in this rain. We have to try and calm down to think what to do next. We have to go to her room now and search for clues on what could have happened and what she did."

"It's him! I know it's him!" She was saying, hysterically.

Derek looked at her, "Who?"

**========== / =========**

_**Meanwhile**_

"You better open that gate or I'll ask my grandma to fire you!"

Ambassador's private security home guard approached to make sure who was inside the taxi, "Oh, Miss Anna. I'm sorry. It's because since I work here, twenty years ago, I've never seen a cab entering this property."

"Oh, there's always a first time for everything, and get that flashlight out of my face, and open that gate."

While the taxi was entering the property to park in front of the main entrance of the mansion, the security guard used the phone to warn the employees of the house that Anna was arriving so they could wake up the ambassador.

Ambassador was peacefully sleeping in the main suite of the house, wearing her usual eyes mask, when someone started to knock on the door.

She instantly woke but she stayed motionless only waiting to see if someone was really trying to wake her up in the middle of the night.

She heard someone knocking the door again, "Excuse me, Ambassador?"

By the voice, she could tell that it was nothing more than her maid. She took off the mask and got up from the bed and put on her black satin robe and her posh padded slippers.

Then, she opened the door, "You better have a very good reason to wake me up in the middle of the night, Carmen."

"Anna is here, and we don't know what to do."

"Anna, Anna, my granddaughter?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

Both women went downstairs to the huge living room. Anna was sitting on the couch, with a bag on her backs.

"Oh my God, Anna, are you here by yourself?"

"Grandma, I decided to move in with you, but first of all, you have to pay the cab. He's waiting outside."

"A cab? Did you come by cab? How come you do all this alone? Do your parents know you're here? I'm always glad to see you, but not under these circumstances."

"Please, Carmen, pay the cab and bring some towels so my granddaughter can dry herself."

**========== / ==========**

Emily and Derek were in Anna's bedroom looking for something that could lead to where she had gone.

"Derek, her school bag isn't here."

"Look, Emily, no iPod, no Chicago Teddy Bear, her favorite things aren't here."

"Look at this drawer, Derek, she took some clothes! Oh my God."

"Emily, now we know she wasn't kidnapped. She went somewhere."

"Derek! Somewhere in the middle of the night! She's only six! You know how much dangerous this is! We have to call all her friends."

But before they could get the phone, it started to ring. "Hello?"

"Em, is there anything or anyone important you have missing over there?"

"Mother, oh, is she there, oh, Thank God."

"Yes, Em, she's here. Don't worry. She's fine."

"She's fine for now because she has a lot of things to explain. She's in a big trouble, you can warn her!"

"Em, it'd be better if Anna stayed here for the night. I don't want you to come for her now at this time of the night with this horrendous weather. It's so dark and dangerous for you to come now, Em."

"There's nothing dangerous for me, mother, especially when it comes about my daughters. I'm on my way."

Even before hanging up the phone, Emily was already in her bedroom to put on her jeans and a shirt.

"Emily, don't go now. Anna will be fine at your mother's house. It's too late and it's raining stones."

"Don't even try to stop me, Derek. I'm going."

"Okay, if you insist, let me go, then. I'll pick her up."

"NO, Derek. You stay with Jolie."

Emily was driving fast down the highway, in a pouring rain, with thunder and lightning. It was raining very hard, and it was dark because of a blackout in some part of the city. She was in a total mixture of relief, anger, sadness and nervousness, and the tears were falling down her face nonstop. She didn't know what to think. She had to live with Ian Doyle in the form of Anna, in her appearance and mannerisms. But the last thing that she wanted to see was his devilish temperament, in her daughter. There was no way she would not worry about it.

**========== / ==========**

"Anna, what you did was so dangerous: Leaving your home at this time of the night, going out all alone, in this horrendous weather. You have to talk to your parents. You can't ever do things like this again because you could have been hurt or worst."

"Grandma Royalty, I can't stand living in my home anymore. It's everything about Jolie. Since Jolie was born, my life is a real hell. All the good is for her and all the bad is for me. I got punished all the time because of her, now, Daddy said no ballet anymore! I don't want this. I want to stay and live with you. They hate me, everyone hates me."

"You're wrong. They all love you, Anna, and I know you love all of them too. You need to talk to your Mom and Dad about what's troubling you."

"No use, Grandma. They don't listen to me."

"You have to be reasonable. Think a little about your own acts. Your parents and everyone, including me, love you and Jolie equally the same. You need to embrace your baby sister more. She loves you and you need to try and be close to her. You were punished because of the bad thing you did to your baby sister, and this can't continue anymore because your sister might get hurt seriously, and I'm sure you don't want that to happen. I'd love you to live with me but you need your parents and sister, even though you don't see that now. They're your family."

Anna got up from the couch and hugged her grandmother, "You're my family, too, Grandma."

Patting Anna's head, Ambassador said, "I know, sweetie. But your main family is you mother and father and your little sister."

Anna was about to start to cry. It looked like she had taken some consciousness of what she had done. "It's because Daddy isn't my real Daddy. Mom only gave a real Daddy to Jolie and not to me. I want my real Daddy but I love Daddy as my real Daddy too."

"It's because he is your Daddy, Anna. Look how confused you are. I know it's difficult for you and you're too young to understand all of this. But your mother and father love you so much and they only want the best for you. You need to calm down sweetie."

Ambassador Prentiss was kind of lost. She didn't know how to deal with situations like that of having a crying child. Emily since very young age had built walls for her to not show emotions so Ambassador wasn't quite sure of what to do next or say. She needed to think.

"Carmen, please, take this little girl to the kitchen. Give her some warm chocolate milk and a piece of cake."

Ambassador bent down to talk to Anna, "Everything will be fine."

The girl went to the kitchen with Carmen while Elizabeth was walking in circles, thinking.

Not too long after this, Emily stomped in the living room, "Where's she?"

"Em, take a deep breath. I can imagine you're freaking out with worry about Anna. She's okay, physically, but emotionally, that is a different story."

"Where's she, mother?"

"She's in the kitchen. I asked Carmen to give her some milk so she can warm herself as she was all wet when she got here."

Emily was making her path to the kitchen, but ambassador stopped her. "Em, your daughter wants to live with me permanently. You have to fix this issue, right now. Anna is feeling so unloved thinking you only love Jolie. I know this isn't true but you know how children can be with their thoughts and ideas. Jealousy can cloud our judgment for us adults, imagine for children… ten times fold."

"You're right, mother, but I don't know what else I can do to prove she's wrong. Derek and I are tired to reassure how much she is loved, just as much as Jolie, not a drop less, in every way possible but nothing seems to works."

"Em, I don't want to bring this up but I feel your husband loves Anna very much like his own daughter but subconsciously he must love Jolie much more than Anna because Jolie is his own flesh and blood and Anna is not. Also, I know you love Anna and Jolie equally as they are both your flesh and blood but however since Jolie is created from the man you are in love with now and I know nothing about Anna father. I think your relationship maybe was hate with him so that is why this might make you love Jolie more than Anna."

"Oh, mother, please. Of course not! I love them both. I'd give my life for them and more."

"Okay, then, Anna might feel Derek love is so less for her than his love for Jolie that Anna transfer that to you thinking you feel the same like Derek, even though you show her how much you love her so equally to Jolie all the time, and plus, which is even worse: Anna puts all her frustrations on Jolie and that's why she treats Jolie so bad at times."

Emily was so exhausted of the whole thing that she was only listening to her mother. She didn't even have force to answer back.

"Em, what can I do to help here? Whatever you need I want to provide the best help for Anna. I'm afraid she might need the best child therapists there is and I have the names of all the best in this world."

"I don't know, mother. But thank you. I'll have to discuss about this with Derek."

On that moment, Anna came from the kitchen. She could hear Emily's voice. She knew Emily was there already. Of course she was afraid because she was aware the size of the trouble she had caused. She ran to hug Ambassador almost knocking her.

"Gather your things. Let's go home."

"No, Mommy, please, let me stay here."

"Anna, I will not say twice! Don't make me say or do things that I don't want. I am very angry with you already."

"Em, it's very dark outside and very late, not a good time to be driving, plus, it's still raining. I think it's best if you two stayed here and just rest. You know I have so many rooms that aren't used, and plenty of space for you two to have a good night rest. You can start out when the day is bright and daylight is in full blast."

"Yes, Mommy, please."

"NO! You started this and we'll finish this together". Emily grabbed Anna by the arm and picked up her bag and went to the car. "Thanks for everything, mother and I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

"No inconvenience Em. I'm always glad to see my granddaughter but not under these poor conditions."

After mother and daughter left, Ambassador said to herself, "Oh Em, I can't blame you for being so stubborn since I'm like this myself too. I hope this night don't give me a wrinkle."

**========== / ==========**

_**In the car**_

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOU, ANNA! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN SAY OR DO! THIS POURING HARD RAIN, YOU COULD GET SO SICK NOT TO MENTION HOW DANGEROUS IS TO GET A CAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, ALL ALONE. YOU KNOW HOW MANY MANIACS, RAPIST ARE OUT THERE! I WORK WITH THIS! I KNOW HOW THE WORLD IS OUTSIDE AND YOU'RE VERY LUCKY TO BE ALIVE! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN HURT OR WORST. YOUR ACTIONS ALL THE TIME ARE TOTALLY RECKLESS, SELFISH AND HARMFUL FOR EVERYONE. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOU!"

"Send me to my real father! Let me live with Grandma!"

"YOU SHUT UP NOW, ANNA!" She let go the wheel for a second and hit it hard. "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

"JUST SEND ME TO LIVE WITH MY FATHER!"

"HE LIVES IN PRISON! DO YOU WANT TO LIVE IN PRISON?"

Anna started to cry out loud, "You're lying!"

"No, I'm not and I swear to God, please, stay quiet until we get home."

Emily had no force to even talk anymore. She was driving home and shedding tears.

**========== / ==========**

_**At home**_

Derek was on the couch, impatiently waiting for them. He was worried because of the bad weather and because of the hour, and also because he knew how much emotionally shaken Emily was. He wanted to call her but he knew she would probably be driving.

Emily entered the apartment, holding Anna by the arm. She could barely look at Derek.

"You go to your room and stay in there."

Anna ran upstairs towards to her bedroom. As father, Derek knew he had to take a severe attitude towards Anna but he also know that Emily was breaking down so whatever it would be the punishment he would give to Anna it would have to wait. Emily had to sit down in order to not fall. Derek sat near her.

"Emily, you're trembling. You need to calm down. She's here now."

"How come, Derek? Her behavior is getting worse as each day goes by. I don't know what to do. And if… and if she's a sociopath?"

Strange to the fact of who was Anna's biological father, Derek thought that this was absurd.

"Calm down, Emily, of course she's not. She's just tried to run away and she went to your mother's. Who in this world never thought about running away from home, I bet you did, in the past."

"Not at six!"

"There are some children at that age that have issues like Anna. They're crying out for attention plus they are crying out for help. We just have to get her the help she needs as all this is out of her hands. We need the best professionals out there now and we're going to do everything."

Derek hugged her and kissed her on the forehead, "I'll make some tea for you."

A few minutes later, Derek came from the kitchen, with a cup of tea, "Emily sit down, take a deep breath and just enjoy the tea. We have to be thankful and grateful she's safe and okay now. Jolie is still sleeping soundly and good thing she didn't know you were not there or she would not able to go back to sleep without her Mama. Please, I know it's hard but try to relax a little now because you are still trembling. I know it is because of the cold rainy bad weather plus this situation making you feel this way, but thank God our family is okay."

They stayed on the sofa for a while. She was resting her head on his shoulder while he was holding her hand.

"It's already almost breaking dawn."

"Yes, I think we should go back to bed."

"It's almost time to go to work and school."

"No, Princess, I'm going to call Hotch and let him know we had a problem that kept us awake for the most part of the night and if the BAU has a case, he will call us, otherwise we and the kids stay home. Anna also needs to rest. Then, later, I'll take Jolie to somewhere outside so you can have a good rest and sleep."

It was five in the morning when Derek and Emily went to bed on that turbulent night. Jolie was still sleeping. Anna was in her bedroom.

**========== / ==========**

_**In the morning**_

Since everyday they used to wake up at 6:00, it wouldn't be different this time. Jolie woke up and threw herself on her mother's body to hug her, making Emily wake up, too.

"_Moning, Mama_." (Good morning, Mama.)

Emily shifted in bed, "Good morning, Sweetie." She hugged and kissed her daughter.

Emily had puffy eyes, dark circles. She was about get up when Derek stopped her, "No, Princess. Stay in bed. You need to sleep more, you need to rest and this little one here and I are going to have a very special day outside, only her and I.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm totally sure and we're going to have a great day together huh little Princess."

"Yay." Jolie was excited.

Derek took Jolie outside the bedroom, to let Emily go back to sleep. He gave Jolie a bath and put on her clothes and gave her a bottle for her to drink, on the couch, watching TV while he was finishing getting ready.

"We're leaving now. I'm going to take Jolie to the library. There's always puppet show there, and librarians reading to the children. I'm leaving your keys here under your pillow and I'll lock the door. I just checked Anna and she is sleeping soundly so don't worry. Take your rest. Love you."

"I love you, too, Derek." She muttered.

**========== / ==========**

_**At the library**_

After the puppet show, Jolie was choosing some books.

"_Dada, me wan a new 'snow white' boka. Me tink snow white looks lika mama and you ai her pince_." (Daddy, I want a new Snow White book. I think that Snow White looks like Mama and you're her Prince.)

Derek was a bit uncomfortable because there was a woman in the library that was deliberately flirting with him. She was at the coffee shop inside the library.

"_Dada, me tinka we shoulda take a boka foi Nana, too_." (Daddy, I think we should take a book for Anna, too.)

"Yeah that's a good idea you have there, Princess. Do you have any idea what she likes?"

"_Hmm, me tink she lika ballawina boka the bes, Dada_." (Hmm, I think she likes ballerina book, the best, Dada.)

"Perfect idea, sweetie, let's choose the best ballerina book for your big sister."

Jolie was walking through the corridors of the baby and child section on the library. It was near the coffee shop and the woman couldn't help but stay all the time observing Jolie interacting with her father. The woman also wanted to make sure there was no woman with them.

Mentally hoping and praying that Derek was a single father or either separated or divorced taking some time with his child, she took courage to approach them, "Your beautiful daughter looks so much like you. She got all her looks definitely from you."

Derek smiled charmingly, "Thank you, but you're so wrong. She got her beautiful looks from my beautiful wife…Who I love very much." It was a polite hint for her to get lost and stop flirting with him.

The woman had to hide her disappointment, "She is just too adorable and cute."

"She sure is. Thank you again."

Every woman in this planet would want to spend some time with Derek Morgan, and this woman wouldn't be different, "Are you free to have some drinks now? Juice for your girl and coffee for us…"

"Hmm, I'll have to pass. It's almost lunch time and I don't want to ruin her appetite."

"She's so lucky... …Your wife."

Derek smiled again, "No, you're wrong again. The lucky one is me!"

The woman didn't give up, "Well, here is my card. Call me if you ever want to get together for drinks or anything." She left.

Derek took the card to be polite, but as soon as he saw she was gone, he threw the card in the garbage can.

"So, what's my baby daughter wants to have for lunch?" They were leaving the library now.

"_Me wan Mcdonnas chicka nuggas and fwench fies_." (I want McDonalds chicken nuggets and French fries.)

"You know your Mama doesn't like you eat these foods and you also know they aren't healthy."

"_Pease, Dada, ony today_." (Please, Daddy, only today.)

"No, because we don't want to get in trouble with Mama, right?"

"_Wright_" (Right)

"So we're going to buy some real healthy food and take home to have a good lunch with Mama and Anna, how does it sound?"

"_Soun Goo, Dada_." (Sounds good, Dada.)

**========== / ==========**

_**At home**_

It was near noon when Emily woke up. She sat on the bed deeply wishing that what had happened last night was only a nightmare, but all the happenings were so alive in her memory that she instantly knew that it was all true.

She slowly got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. She was refusing to believe in what the mirror was showing: a person totally lost, not knowing what to do next. She hated feeling this way. She dried her face with the towel and took a deep breath.

She went to Anna's bedroom. The door was ajar. She opened it. Anna was leaning over the little desk, resting her head on her arm while the other hand was coloring a drawing. By far Emily could tell that the thoughts of her little daughter were far, far away and how much she looked so fragile and afraid.

Emily entered the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, near the desk. Through her peripheral vision, Anna could notice her mother was there, but she was too afraid to talk or say something.

"Anna, look at Mommy."

The little girl was so ashamed of her recent acts that she couldn't even look at her mother, but as soon as she heard Emily's voice, after a quick movement, she was totally curled on Emily's lap, "I'm sorry, Mommy. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to worry you."

Emily's heart totally melted.

"You did worry me sick Anna. I just hope and pray you will not do something this drastic and dangerous again. You could have been hurt or even worst. This thought brings terror and chills to every bone of my body."

"It's because I can't stand seeing Jolie in your arms. You're my Mommy like always it was only you and me only and now you're never home and when you're home she's always with you, and I have to accept because she's the baby and I'm the older one but I'm only a child too, Mommy, I miss you and you're my Mommy and I don't want to share you with anyone."

Anna was saying all of this while sobbing, crying in tears.

"Oh, Anna, sweetie, it isn't a matter of sharing. Jolie is a wonderful addition to our family. She's a sweet girl. She loves you so much, Anna. You see how she looks up to you? She wants to go to ballet too only because of you. She tries to sing all the time because she knows you like to sing. She imitates you all the time. You're an inspiration for her. She wants to be like you because she admires and loves you."

Emily held Anna's chin making the girl look at her, "You're so precious in my life and you'll always be, a total miracle to me, nothing will ever change that, I already told you. I hope I'd never have to, because I'd have to leave you and Jolie, but if I have to, I'd give my life for you". She wiped her daughter's tears off. "Next time if something is bothering you, you have to talk to me or daddy before you ever think of doing something like this ever again. Do you understand?"

**========== / ==========**

_**Half an hour later**_

Anna was on the couch watching cartoon while Emily was starting to prepare something for them to eat since it was past lunch time. It was when Derek and Jolie arrived.

The little girl ran to meet her older sister, "_Nana, we boug tis boka foi you_." (We bought this book for you.)

"Thanks, Jolie."

Meanwhile, Derek entered the kitchen, approaching Emily, "How things are going?"

"I talked to her and…. Well…I think we can only wait and move on."

"You need me to talk to her too?"

"I don't know, Derek."

They set the table to eat. They were eating and talking, trying to focus on this sweet moment as a family.

"_Mama, tis stwange lady gave Dada her cad_." (Mama, this strange lady gave Daddy her card.)

Emily looked at Derek in a mixture of curiosity and with a smile. "Really?"

"I was being polite, Jolie, accepting her card, but you forgot to tell mama I then threw her card away in garbage can."

"_She talka to Dada, she said Dada call wer_." (She talked to Dada and she said to Dada to call her.)

"Thanks so much Jolie, trying to get me in hot water with your Mama." He was joking.

"Mommy is it true that my father is in prison?"

Derek immediately looked at Emily as if: WTF?

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading**


	33. Chapter 33

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

"Thank you so much, mother. Know that this is an emergency. We weren't expecting that this case would come up. Hotch's ex-wife and his son are in danger, he needs all of us. I called Mary but she couldn't make it and the other nannies that I know weren't available."

"This won't be a problem, Em. I'll love spending a few days with my granddaughters."

"I'll love it, too, grandma. I'll sleep in the ballerina room you made for me."

Jolie didn't say a word because she'd miss her parents, but even being only two, she had some idea how important her parent's job was. She was doing her best to stay cool. She was holding her favorite Teddy Bear.

"Mother, Anna has to go to school and, please, no preposterous idea of bringing the school to her. She has to go there."

"Oh, Em, she'll have a car and a chauffeur available."

"Only for going to school, Mother."

Both Derek and Emily hugged their daughters and left to the BAU.

Derek was driving while Emily was on the passenger seat. A deafening silence took place in the car.

She was thinking hard as she knew he was about to open his mouth anytime.

Derek seemed to have a bone in the throat since he heard Anna questioning about her biological father being in prison. Emily didn't even have time to answer him at home because both cell phones started ringing and they had to rush to pack their things and the kids' things.

"So, is he in prison?"

Emily so wished, at this point, that she could jump out of the car and disappear out of there. Her stomach was churning and she didn't know what to say to Derek.

Looking out through the window, she knew she couldn't escape, "Yes."

Five minutes later, the only answer he had from her was a distant 'yes'. He was kind of pissed because he was expecting she would open herself to him, finally. But nothing else came from her mouth, creating a dense and heavy atmosphere in the car, and the trip to the BAU looked like it had taken hours, although they were only fifteen minutes from the house of the ambassador to there.

They only talked again in the BAU elevator.

"I'd never thought that you could be in love with a criminal. Actually, it's the last thing that I could expect from you. I'm fucking surprised, Emily. And a cold 'yes' is all that you have to say to me?"

She was feeling trapped. She didn't even look at him.

"Not because we're married I have to tell everything about my past. I told you to choose to trust me or not."

The elevator door opened, but she still had time to say, "I thought you had chosen already." She looked at his eyes this time and left the elevator.

========== / ==========

That case ended up with Haley being buried. Derek and Emily were side by side, watching that young woman being buried, and seeing the sadness and pain in Hotch and in such a young child, Jack. Their problems seemed so small now to Derek. He made a small movement to reach Emily's hand and squeezed it, as if to say, 'I'm here with you, for you.' But, on the other side, Emily knew her problem wasn't too small. Ian Doyle would be an eternal demon to be beaten in her head.

Still squeezing her hand, without looking at her, he whispered, "See what happens when we keep secrets?"

She only opened her mouth. She was so flabbergasted that she didn't even know how to respond to his comment.

========== / ==========

It was past midnight when they were coming back home. It was raining hard so Emily didn't want to wake up the girls and since the day after would be Saturday, she left the children there at ambassador for one more night.

Once they were home, "Emily, we need to talk."

She rolled her eyes, "I know what you're going to say. Do you really want this, Derek? Physically, I could run a marathon, but I'm so tired emotionally."

"I had stayed quiet for a long time, giving you your privacy and not pressuring you to tell me everything but I can't close my eyes to something so important, because it involves Anna. You told to an innocent six years old, little girl, that her biological father is in prison but yet you neglected to tell me anything about him. This needs to stop now, Emily, I have a right to know everything now and I'm not being too unreasonable about this."

"You aren't worried about Anna. You're just curious about my past."

"Well, I cannot deny I had the shock of my life. But yes, I'm worried for Anna's sake."

"Derek, would you believe if I tell you I don't want to tell anything about my past to protect you, to protect our family?"

"Yes, I do believe this, but I am the one that was supposed to protect my family, too. But how am I going to do this if I know nothing about your past or if we're in danger or not?"

"Derek, please, don't…"

"I can see the pain in your eyes, the torment that you have been living. In all these years we had a lot of good moments but yet the anguish you live is always there, Emily. I can see it and it hurts me so badly. I only want to help. I only want to be there for you and for the girls when I have to, every time you all need me."

"You cannot help me, Derek."

"This is what you think Emily, but, please, open up yourself to me and I'll have my own judgment if I can help or not."

"You cannot help because my issue is internal. I have deep regrets in my soul that I cannot get rid of. This cross belongs to me only."

Well, he had to accept this answer. But the talk was far from finish.

"Does he know about Anna?"

"No, Derek, I already told you that."

"Well, I'm sorry but your behavior makes me wonder if you still have any kind of contact with him. It wouldn't be a surprise for me anymore."

She frowned angrily, "How dare you?"

"I know nothing about you!"

"Derek, he was a drug dealer and I didn't know about that. I was in love and I ended up pregnant. He was in jail when I found out and I didn't tell him. He'll spend the rest of his life in prison. End of the story."

"He'll spend the life in prison for being a drug dealer?"

"Yes. …Because he was one of the… one of the... bosses."

By this moment, it was obvious to Derek that she was lying.

"He was one of the 'bosses'… so… he was in this kind of 'business' for a long time when you met him… and even so you are saying you didn't know anything about him."

She was speechless, shaking her head and biting her lips. She took a deep breath. Derek was looking at her, also shaking his head in total deception. She only watched when he made his path to upstairs.

**========== / ==========**

**Meanwhile, at Ambassador's**

Elizabeth Prentiss was sleeping in her suite, wearing her mask when someone entered her bedroom approaching the bed.

"_Gandma, pease, can me seepa wit you_?" (Grandma, please, can I sleep with you?)

It took some time for Ambassador to realize she was really hearing this. Before she could even move on the bed, Jolie kept saying, "_The waini, tunda and lightnin too loud. It's scawing me so muss. Me can no seep on my own, can me seepa wit you? Me aways seep with mama and dada or Mawy when it's wainin this loud wit this tunda. Me weally afaid_." (The rain, thunder, and lightning are too loud. It's scaring me so much. I can't sleep on my own, can I sleep with you? I always sleep with Mama and Dada or Mary when it's raining this loud with this thunder. I'm really afraid.)

Ambassador was thinking that someone in the family had pulled her. Jolie was really good on speeches.

"Well, my sweet baby, I am not used to sharing my bed with anyone, since when… well… yes, you can sleep here with me."

Ambassador always used to sleep on her side of her huge bed, so there was a lot of space for the little girl. But as soon as Jolie got under the duvet she hugged her grandma tight, totally surprising Ambassador, "_Me always seepa hugging mama and dada_." (I always sleep hugging Mama and Dada.)

And it was like this that a two years old little girl left a woman like Ambassador totally speechless. She had never experience anything like this before and she had to be honest with herself, that this felt so wonderful, totally heartwarming.

The regrets and sadness took hold of her because she had never done this for her own daughter. She and Emily now would have a much closer connection and relationship not this current one that is sometimes felt so estranged and distant still.

"_Me wuv so muss, ganma_." (I love you so much, Grandma.)

Ambassador couldn't even remember when it was the last time that she said this to someone. She always really thought and taught Emily that love was for the weak people, but how not to answer to this little girl?

In an internal struggle, she muttered to Jolie, while patting her backs, "Grandma love you too, sweetie."

**========== / ==========**

Emily was hugging herself, looking out the huge window from her living room. The night was darker than ever. The only light was lightning amid the heavy rain. It was over one a.m. in the morning.

She was still deeply sad because of Haley and adding all her internal demons, she was about to explode anytime.

She went upstairs to her bedroom. Derek was still wide awake.

As soon as she entered the bedroom, he went downstairs.

"Derek?" She called him back.

But he went downstairs without even looking back at her. He was in needed of a strong drink.

She sat on the bed, thinking, until she put her eyes on the frame with a photo of her, Derek and the two girls, smiling. She took the frame on her hands and looking at it, she had such a weird feeling because it seemed like the life of another person and not hers.

She went downstairs and she poured a whiskey for herself too. Derek was on the sofa. She sat on the other sofa.

After a few minutes she broke the silence, "Our marriage was a mistake."

Well, when Derek was thinking that things couldn't get worse, because this was the last thing he wanted to hear. He couldn't just ignore. He looked at her, totally heartbroken.

"I shouldn't have involved such wonderful guy like you in a messed up life like mine. I don't deserve the family that I have."

"Emily, stop talking if you aren't going to tell me the whole shit!"

"It's true. I feel so guilty right now. I'd kill myself if something bad happens to you and to our kids because of something that I did in the past."

"Stop saying all this nonsense about that you don't deserve this family and me…Saying that our marriage was all a mistake as it'd be better if you took a gun and just shoot me now. That would not hurt as much as these words. How can you say that our love is a mistake when we have the most beautiful family and love in the whole world? Are you saying here that Jolie was a mistake too? I'm sure that isn't what you meant but if it is, wow, I don't fucking know you, at all."

"I'm sorry, Derek. I think we're too shaken by this last case. And no, I don't mean to say this. Jolie is a miracle in our lives, just like Anna. I'd give my life for them and… for you."

After a few time in silence, Derek put the glass on the coffee table and sat near her on the other couch. He took her hand and kissed it, "It has been a long and hard day today, with all that happened, we are much too emotional and saying things we might regret later. I can't say that this new info took me totally by surprise, I mean, how you could fall for someone that did something illegal, a criminal… when you, during all your life, work so hard to put people like that behind bars, but for now I think we just need to try and get some rest. We're both mentally and physically exhausted and I think what we both need now is this."

**========== / ==========**

**The next day**

"Grandma Royalty, I loved my new hairstyle. This salon is so awesome! I'm going to ask Mom bring me here every time I need to fix my hair."

"I'm glad you liked it, my sweet granddaughter. Now, we're going to the best restaurant in town for our lunch."

"…If you don't want to go McDonald, how about Chuck E Cheese?"

Anna rolled her eyes just like Ambassador used to do, "I told you, Grandma Royalty, not to bring this baby. She only wants to go to baby places. She isn't an adult like you and me."

"_Stop cawing me baby, me no baby, be big gil!."_ (Stop calling me baby, I'm not a baby. I'm a big girl!)

Anna thought she was adult because of Ambassador's influences. She liked to act like her grandma.

"Anna, we must respect your little sister, she is growing into a beautiful young lady just like you and of course her choices and views are much different than yours because you're many more years older than her. You had the same preferences and you acted exactly like Jolie at this age, this I can be sure of, so please always respect her and not call her a baby anymore."

The chauffeur parked the Rolls-Royce in front of the salon to get them.

**========== / ==========**

Emily and Derek were still in bed. They had just woken up. He was stretching while she was still lying on her stomach, hugging the pillow.

After stretching, he hugged her under the blanket, softly biting her earlobe, "It was a great idea of your mother to stay with the girls for the weekend too."

"Yes, I think so too. We were in need of a good rest. But I'm afraid of the effects of this weekend. I can see my mother buying every little thing that they want which is very different of what we teach for them."

"I know, Princess, but it won't be one weekend, once and while, that will damage the education we always gave to them."

"Not when it comes to a little girl that is naturally the same as her Grandma. Anna's so much like my mother that it scares me."

"You do have a point there Emily. Remember when you and Anna were staying at that hotel before Jolie was born? She was calling the hotel staff ordering them around and ordering the whole menu from the hotel. That she definitely got from your Mother and no one else."

Emily was also remembering how much Ian Doyle was always ordering everyone around him all the time too. But of course that she kept this thought for herself only.

"A kiss for your thoughts…"

"Hmm… only a kiss?"

"Well, it'll depend on the answer."

"I was just thinking that sometimes I catch myself doing things exactly like my mother would do, I mean, the manners and everything that she taught me. It's scary."

"Well, we all follow the mannerisms of our parents. That's natural, plus: we're always trying to seek approval subconsciously from them by trying to be like them. We emulate their style, flare and the way we speak, so this is all understandable Emily."

"So, did I win only a kiss?"

"Hmm (he was pretending he was thinking), yes… a kiss… but I didn't say where…"

They shared a sexy smile.

**========== / ==========**

_**Six months later**_

"How's it going, stranger?"

"Oh, I'm a little tired. The kids are in that age that they want us all the time, at home, and out, presentations at school, Ballet and everything. Anna is seven, she had to change school, Jolie had to readapt there without her old sister."

"But she's three already, Em, she's there since two, so it'll be okay."

"Yeah, I know. It'll be okay. Sometimes I feel so exhausted with this routine at home and here but then when I look at their smile, Pen, wow, it makes me feel so good, so happy. It's really worth it. But, do you want to talk to me?"

"Only a message, this call for you from Sean McAllister came to my phone accidentally. He sounded very hot and very important."

Emily felt a punch in the stomach, "Did he leave a message?"

"No. But it's from Paris… A Scottish guy calling from Paris… Even if he is ugly, Scottish guys are hot. It's the accent."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"So, is he an ex? …An international 'booty call'?"

"No."

"So, you can introduce me to him since you're the lucky one able to make my chocolate God settle down. Who's he?"

"He's a friend."

They entered the meeting room to meet the others. Derek was curious, "Who?"

Emily rolled her eyes, "No one."

**========== / ==========**

**A few days later**

The team was arriving from a case. It was over 8pm when they arrived at the BAU.

"Derek, you can go home. I have a commitment."

"Commitment?"

"Yes."

"Let me guess, I am not supposed to ask anything about it, right?"

"Please."

He handed the keys of the car to her, "I'll get a cab, then."

"No, you keep the car, I can get a cab."

"No, Emily. You keep the car. I can also ask JJ or Rossi to give me a ride."

"Okay, thank you."

He only observed when she went towards to the elevator. Rossi was approaching him.

"Rossi, man, sometimes I think I don't know this person at all. She seems to have a double life. I don't get her. I always feel like that I'm walking a tightrope."

"Trust is such a huge word. It, either, builds something or destroys it."

"Man she's the only one who doesn't trust me."

"Remember that saying that says, 'every person has at least one secret that would break your heart', and in your case, Derek, it'd break your beautiful family too."

"She has a lot of secrets and mysteries about her. It's awful and frustrating."

"I know it's very frustrating for you, but what would be more frustrating and awful is if you lost her and your family. I know you don't want that, right? Trust an old fool like me. When I say that I'm all alone right now is that I pushed too far and pressed so much, which only made me lose many great and wonderful loves, hence all the divorces and all alone. I don't want to see that for you too Derek, just enjoy your beautiful wife and family that you have, because you, my dear friend, are so very lucky and blessed."

"It's easier to speak, Rossi, but my blood is boiling and I don't like to feel that way."

"Derek, you know that over-thinking can ruin you and twist things around, making the whole situation looks like much worse than actually is. Just go home to your baby girls. I bet they are missing Mommy and Daddy."

"Yeah, I just don't know what to say to them when they ask about their mother."

"Just say she's coming home soon and play with them and only be the good father that you'd always been."

**========== / ==========**

**At a bar, later that night**

She entered the bar to meet him, "Emily Prentiss."

She hugged him, "Sean, how are you?"

"Good."

"So, I was going to call you back. I just got busy on a case."

"No problem. I had to be here, in D.C. anyways."

He cut the eye contact and took a deep breath, then, "Ian Doyle vanished from prison. Interpol can't find him."

Her eyes widened at the same time that the panic took hold of her entire being, "W-What are you saying?"

"He's off the grid, Emily."

"Do you think he's headed here?" She could barely breathe.

"I don't know."

After a dense silence, she said, "Am I in danger?"

"We all are."

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading**


	34. Chapter 34

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

She was driving home under the heavy rain. Somehow, deep, deep down in her soul, she knew her past would come for her to take back the things she could not erase, change, delete, or correct. She was fighting back tears trying to focus on Ian Doyle and imagine what would be his next step. This war was hers only, and she would do everything to protect her family with every fiber of her body, but she still had hopes that he just would disappear, after all Lauren Reynolds was dead, at least to him.

**========== / ==========**

**At home**

"Daddy, I have to make a research about the USA flag. Do you know something about our flag? I have to draw and color the flag and write how the flag was created. Can you help me?"

"Of course I can, sweetie."

"First, I have to write about it, and then I have to make a drawing of the flag and color it."

"I want to help you to color, Nana."

"OH no, Jolie, coloring is the best part."

"Well, Anna, you can make two flags so you can color one and Jolie the other, how about that?"

"Okay. What do you know about the USA flag, Daddy?"

"Well, the man who did the current 50 star American flag is called Robert G. Heft. He was 17 years old at the time and created the flag design in 1958 as a high school class project while living with his grandparents, in Ohio"

"Wow, Daddy, how cool!"

"Yes, this is very cool, Anna."

"Can you repeat it slowly so I can write it, Daddy?"

"Sure, Princess."

**========== / ==========**

**Emily's POV**

She parked the car in the highest point in DC. It was still raining heavy so she didn't come out of the car. For a moment she felt closer to the sky than the ground. Like in flashes, her life after Lauren start popup in her mind, since the day Anna was born, her first words, her first birthday, only her, Anna and Mary, then when she met Derek and everything that they lived together, Jolie and everything. And now, someone, a devil from hell would destroy her in a minute. For a millisecond, she thought it would be so easier for her do it by herself and not give this pleasure to him, if she just accelerated the car and fell down the huge cliff right in front of her. But this was only for a millisecond because when she thought of her beautiful family, Derek, Anna and Jolie, imagining their beautiful faces, there was no way she could ever do something like this, and coward was something that had nothing to do with Emily Prentiss, the badass. '_Stop over thinking, Emily, nothing bad will happen_.' She so wanted to believe this.

**========== / ==========**

**At home**

"Daddy, make popcorn for us, please?"

"Jolie, you ate dinner an hour ago. Are you hungry?"

"No, it's because I love when you make popcorn for us. Mama doesn't put a lot of butter and you do."

"Oh, smart girl. I'll do it then, but I'll do just like Mama, okay? She's the most intelligent Mama in the whole world, right?"

"Yaaaaaaayyy" Jolie and Anna yelled at the same time in joy.

"Daddy, look at my drawing. I used the ruler and the mold to make the stars."

"Wow, this is just too perfect, Anna! Congratulations!"

"Thank you, Daddy. I'll give this one to Jolie to color and I'll make another for me."

"And I'll make the popcorn for us, right?"

They had a living room and the kitchen in the same space only divided by a counter. Anna was sitting on the floor on a cushion, leaning against the coffee table to make the homework. Derek was about to enter the kitchen.

"Dada, where's Mama? I miss her."

Anna was seven and she was more used to being far away from Emily during days, but Jolie was only three. It was natural she misses her mother more, "She had to do something important, little Princess."

"…More important than us, Dada?"

"Jolie, if it was up to me and Mama, we'd spend the rest of our lives stuck like glue with you and Anna, but sometimes we just don't have a choice. …And no, nothing is more important to us than you and Anna."

Jolie was looking at her father, she seemed to be in understanding what he was saying, but, "I want Mama."

"Alright, what about you help me with the popcorn?"

"I know Mama doesn't like us having too much butter on our popcorn, just a little extra butter this time? Just this once?"

"Okay, you beat me: extra butter."

They were eating the popcorn while coloring the flag and Derek was watching sports.

"Nana, why are you not eating popcorn?"

"…Because I don't want to dirty my drawing. I'm going to eat after I finish this. Don't eat everything you two, leave some for me."

Emily opened the door and entered the living room.

"Mama!" Jolie ran to her mother as Emily lifted the girl in her arms."

"Nana made the USA flag for me to color."

"Oh, how nice of her!"

Derek could see in her face that something was really bothering her and that she had been crying. She was pale than ever with dark circles and her hair was messed up.

Anna got up from the floor, "Look Mommy, I made this. I had to do a research for school about the USA flag. Daddy helped me."

"Oh, this is just too perfect, Anna. I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Mommy." Anna put the drawing on the coffee table, "Now I want my popcorn."

Derek was still looking at Emily. She seemed to be another person. She was doing things automatically. It was obvious she was trying hard to compartmentalize, but the question was why?

Just now she looked at Derek, "Did they have dinner?"

"Yes."

"Mommy, I ate everything and all by myself. Daddy cooked chicken and vegetables soup."

"Hmm, this sounds so delicious and what a big girl you are for eating by yourself!"

"Finally you are a big girl, Jolie. I thought you'd wear diapers and use pacifier forever."

"Anna, that wasn't nice."

"I'm sorry, Mommy."

"You have to say sorry to your little sister, not me."

"I'm sorry, Jolie."

They were already in their pajamas already so Emily assumed Derek had bathed them already.

She put Jolie on the couch, "I need a shower."

"Do this. I'll put them to sleep as soon as the game finishes."

"Make sure they brush their teeth."

"I will."

**========== / ==========**

"Once upon a time in midwinter, when the snowflakes were falling like feathers from heaven, a queen sat sewing at her window, which had a frame of black ebony wood. As she sewed she looked up at the snow and pricked her finger with her needle. Three drops of blood fell into the snow. The red on the white looked so beautiful that she thought to herself, "If only I had a child as white as snow, as red as blood, and as black as the wood in this frame."

"Daddy, we're both too old for story sleep time, I know I am."

"I'm not, Dada, continue, please, it's my favorite because Snow White looks so much like Mama, and I like to think of Mama when Dada is reading."

"Anna, these stories gives you both sweet dreams, don't be a party pooper. Enjoy it." "So, continuing…"

Derek finished the story and by the last word, both Anna and Jolie were soundly sleeping. He kissed them both softly on the cheek, and put on the blankets, and went to his bedroom.

He entered and Emily was leaving the bathroom. They were only inches away, but the thin barrier that has always existed between them had now turned into a huge wall of concrete. Derek thought that he had gotten into her world, he indeed came very close to it, but it never happened. He wanted explanations, not because of control or curiosity, but because it was clear like water that she was suffering. He could see in her eyes, a deep sadness. Her eyes were darker than ever.

She cut the eyes contact, and approached him, "…Just hug me." Her voice was cracking.

She threw herself in his arms as if she could feel safe, but no. He held her with his strong arms by her waist. She couldn't hold it anymore so she broke down in tears, "Derek, please, don't ask me anything. Just promise me that if something bad happened to me, you'll take care of our daughters and and never leave them alone."

"Emily, you know I'd give my life for you and the girls, you know that." He broke the hug to look at her, "But I have respected your space and not crossing the wall that you built between us during our whole marriage, all the time. If our roles and shoes were reversed, would you do the same like me, Emily? I think you'd demand to know everything, right?"

"I know that's hard to understand but I'm doing this to protect you. I have a war to fight coming ahead and you are not part of it."

"It's my right and job to protect you and my two baby daughters, but how am I supposed to do it if you don't tell me what's going on."

"I know you have a right to know but I cannot tell you and it would be for the best if you did not know. It's my mess I have to clean up. I just want you to protect our girls and don't worry about me. I'll take care of this problem myself and know that if I could I'd tell you everything to you, but I cannot, Derek, without putting you and the girls in risk, please, understand."

"It hurts me so badly to see you that way, Emily."

"I know and I am so sorry."

**========== / ==========**

**Somewhere in Europe**

"Where's my money?"

The other man put the suitcase on the table and opened it.

Jeremy smiled, "Here are the names of the people responsible for putting you away, with the respective photos."

Of course that Jeremy had not included himself and Tsia on this file.

He was looking at the file and thinking, "Emily Prentiss?", Doyle raised an eyebrow, as if questioning Jeremy. It was the first time he was seeing a picture of her, Lauren, with another name. He'd discover the real truth. It was the exactly moment which "the penny has dropped". He put everything together now and the hatred and anger were becoming enormous. There was a true revolt inside him, and it felt as if his blood was indeed boiling.

"Lauren Reynolds never existed, it was an alias. Her real name is Emily Prentiss and she's more alive than you and me together. She lives in Washington with her beautiful family, a husband and two daughters which one of them is yours."

Ian Doyle had gone through a lot, but this was the shock of his life, '_I cannot believe that bitch lied so much to me. Every word that came from that whore mouth was a total lie. Now, to add to all the lies, she had my baby and never told me about it, she kept my baby from me and how dare she have someone else raising her, calling him daddy_.' He was thinking.

"Do I have a daughter?" The image of Lauren Reynolds vomiting in the toilet, days before he was arrested came instantly to his mind now.

"Yes."

"You know what can happen to you if you're trying to fool me."

"I know, that's why I'm telling the truth."

Jeremy closed the suitcase with the money, taking it with him, "So, I've never been here. This is our deal, right."

"It was a pleasure doing business with you." Doyle had that devilish voice.

Jeremy left having no idea he'd be the first to be killed.

**========== / ==========**

**Few weeks later**

"Bye, sweetie, have a good day at school, okay. I love you." Emily hugged Anna.

"Okay, Mommy, let me go, I'm late."

Emily took both of Anna's hands to look at her eyes, "I love you."

"I love you, too, Mom. Bye Daddy."

"Bye, Princess. Have a wonderful day and remember about what I said the moment of the test, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy."

"Everything will be alright."

"Thank you, Daddy."

Before Anna walked to the school gate, "Do you guys have a case today?"

Emily and Derek were in the car, "We still don't know."

"Hmm, okay."

Anna walked to the school entrance. Derek was starting the car.

"Derek, wait. She still didn't enter."

"She crossed the gate, Emily."

"Let's wait until she enters the building."

Jolie was sitting on her special seat in the backseat, "Dada, I want to go to this school too. Anna's school is for big girls. I'm a big girl, right, Mama?"

Emily was so focused on looking around to check if something in the school's neighborhood was out of ordinary that she didn't even listen to Jolie, so Derek responded to the girl, "Yes, Princess, you're a big girl too, but not too big as your older sister, plus, I know you love your school, too, and all your friends in there, right?"

"Right, Dada."

"Can we go now, Emily?"

She finally got in the car and closed the door, "Yes."

Derek could see how nervous and paranoid Emily was leaving Anna there at school. He was driving towards Jolie's school while Emily was looking out of the window, in silence.

"Mama, I love when you come to pick us up at school. I hope you and Dada come to pick us up today too."

Emily seemed to be in another world looking at the rearview mirror all the time. Derek had to answer to the little girl again, "We love to pick you up and Anna, too, little Princess, and talk about our day and everything, but we don't know if it'll be possible today."

"I like when Mary comes to pick us up but I prefer you and Mama, Dada, because Mary only take us home and sometimes she has to go out and she locks the door so we can't go out and Anna never let me watch my cartoons, she only wants to watch her most favorite shows."

"Daddy promise to fix this soon, okay?"

"Okay, Dada."

Derek parked the car in front of Jolie's school. Due to the fact that Jolie's school were only for very young children, there was always an employee present there to take them in, but that day, Emily got out of the car and grabbed Jolie in her arms and brought her into the school, "I want to hug, Dada."

Emily put the girl on the passenger seat so she could hug Derek, "Bye, my princess, have a wonderful day, I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Dada."

"Be careful at the playground, be good to your teachers and little friends, okay?"

"Okay, Dada."

Derek kissed her and Emily took the girl inside the school, "Bye, Sweetie."

Emily was hugging the girl as if she didn't want to let her go, during a long time.

There was a big silence for the rest of the trip to the BAU, until Derek broke it.

"It kills me seeing you that way. You really need to trust people."

"I trust people."

"No, you don't. You don't because you can't. And I get it. Every time you tried to count on someone, they let you down, so you go it alone. You'll never admit that because you're just too damn stubborn. It's all right. It doesn't really matter. But I'll tell you what does matter: That you can trust me, Emily, with anything. I'm serious. No matter how awful you think it is, I promise you, you are not alone. I just wish you'd believe that."

"I do."

"I'm starting to get really worried. You were hugging Jolie just now like this was the last time you were going to see her. I've never seen you hug her like that before. Even Jolie noticed how very nervous and jumpy you were when we dropped off Anna, making sure she went into the gate okay. If this whole situation involves our children, then you won't have any other choice but to tell me everything, Emily."

"How many times do I need to say that I cannot tell you anything? …Because if I do, then yes, it'll be the same that put a bullet on your head, and I don't want this. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me Derek!"

"Nothing is going to happen to me if you tell me what is going on. If I keep blind, I'll never be able to defend myself and our family and you."

"From the moment I tell you, you'll become a part of it and I don't want this, and if you keep insisting, I'm going to…"

*Moments of silence*

"…Going to what?"

"I'm going to have to ask for the divorce, Derek."

He was in shock, "Really Emily?! You're going to throw everything down the drain, our beautiful family just because I want to protect you and our family? What the fuck you're always so very stubborn that you'd prefer to destroy our family than tell me what's going on. Do you realize what this divorce would do to Anna and Jolie? It'd totally devastate them along with me."

With a lump in her throat, she said, "The more stubborn one is you that keep insisting in something that I can't tell."

**========== / ==========**

They were working on a local case, they were at the BAU. She got a message on her cell phone while she was going to her desk, 'See you soon.' She stopped walking. Her legs were weak as she seems that she would fall. It was hard to breathe. She went to the bathroom to make sure that no one would listen to her and she called Sean with no success, "Oh God!" Then, she tried to call Clyde, but no success again, then she decided to call Tsia, but Penelope entered the bathroom, so she put the phone away.

"Hey."

"What's going on? Are you ok?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, I'm good."

"I'm not a profiler, but…"

"You don't start…." That was rude, "I'm sorry. I'm… I'm going be all right."

"Ok. I'm just really worried about you. I think the flu is going around."

"No, I'm just I'm not sleeping. I'm having this nightmare. It's a recurring nightmare. I—I… There's a hill, and there's a little girl on top of the hill. She's like 6 years old, dark hair. And she's just dancing in the sun. But somehow I know that she's waiting for me, so I start to walk up the hill But the hill gets steeper and steeper, and by the time I climb to the top, the little girl's gone. And I look everywhere for her, and when I can't find her, I start to panic. And I panic because I know what's waiting out there for her. I know what the world can do to a girl who only sees beauty. Like you. Somehow you-you always make me smile. And I don't think I've ever thanked you for that."

Both women were about to cry but Emily left the place before they could start. She went to the meeting room since it was empty.

"Tsia, it's Emily. Where are you?"

"Bois du Boulogne."

"Well, that's a significant change of address."

"That's not the only change. I got engaged."

"Wow. So you and Jeremy are going to… That's great. That's great."

"Emily, what's wrong?"

"Have you heard from Sean?"

"Yes, he's been calling me for days."

"But you haven't talked to him?"

"I don't work for him anymore. I'm out."

"So is Doyle. Sean thinks we're all in danger. But I was the only one who had any personal connection to him."

"As far as Doyle is concerned, Lauren Reynolds died in a car accident. Jeremy and I made sure of that. Ok? I want to hear you say it. Go on."

"Lauren Reynolds is dead." Emily whispered.

"Sweetie, trust me. You died and we're all good."

"Ok. Just be careful. And give Jeremy my love. Bye."

By this time, Reid was there listening the end of the talk, "Who's Lauren Reynolds?"

"She was a friend of mine."

"How did she die?"

"…A car accident."

"I'm really sorry."

**========== / ==========**

**Few weeks later**

Emily had talked to Hotch and asked a few weeks off so she could stay with the girls. She said to him she was stressed and exhausted and she needed some vacation time, but it was because she need time to talk to her former team at Interpol and see what was being done to locate Doyle.

In three weeks, there were no new messages, everything seemed in peace. Derek had traveled with the team to somewhere in California. She was at home with the girls. It seemed only an ordinary night. She read to the girls and put them to sleep, but she was totally restless, she couldn't sleep. Something deep in her soul and in her gut feeling was telling her that something was not right. Throughout the night, she woke up every half hour or so to check on the girls. Each time she would open their doors slowly and quietly to not wake them up. But she was very exhausted, sleepy and tired so she surrendered to a deep and heavy sleep after so much time fighting this sleep.

It was around 5:30 in the morning of a Saturday.

Jolie entered Emily's bedroom, still sleepy, dragging her pillow with her. She approached Emily's bedroom and muttered, "Mama, can I finish sleeping here with you?"

She climbed the bed and Emily hugged her tight under the duvet, and it felt so good her little angel so close to her. She kissed the girl on the head, muttering back, "Sure, my little angel. Did Anna wake you up again?"

With her eyes closed already, almost falling asleep, the little girl said to Emily the thing she was the most afraid of, "Anna isn't there."

Emily widened her eyes, "What?"

"She must be watching cartoons."

Emily was in panic, "Jolie, honey, stay here, okay? I'm going to check where she is."

Deep down, she knew she wouldn't find Anna anywhere in the apartment.

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading.**


	35. Chapter 35

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

She locked the door of her bedroom, leaving Jolie inside. She so wanted to have her Glock there right now, but since when the children were born they had agreed not to bring guns to their home. Her heart was pounding fast. She was fearing that he could still be there. But she had to look for Anna, "Anna, Anna sweetie…", She looked for her inside the bathroom, the shower, the hot tub, the closets, everywhere upstairs, "Anna, that isn't funny!"

She went downstairs in a hurry, looking at the sofa, and nothing; she wasn't there, she wasn't anywhere. The TV was off. She looked in the small washroom, but also in vain. That was when she entered the kitchen. Anna wasn't there either but she found something, a note that said: '_Hello, "Lauren", you warn someone, you'll never see our daughter again. Wait for the instructions. With love_.'

She felt a wave of chills and then she stayed frozen for a few minutes. She couldn't think. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't speak. She couldn't move. It seemed to be that she felt like she had been sucked into a cold, deep and dark hole. It seemed to be a nightmare and she would wake up anytime, but no. It was real. He had taken her baby. That note was burning her hands.

"No, it can't be true." She had to sit down as her legs were weak.

She always knew that this moment would come. Deep in her soul she knew that their paths would meet again and she would have to face him. She only never expected he would act so low and take her baby. Tears were forming in her eyes, but she was Emily Prentiss, she wouldn't let them fall. She wouldn't let him win. She would fight until the end for her baby.

She checked the door and the alarm and everything seemed okay. She went upstairs to her bedroom. She sat on the edge of her bed and touched Jolie's backs, "Jolie, sweetie, please, wake up. Mommy needs to ask you something."

The little girl shifted in bed and opened her eyes to her Mom, "Jolie, did something happen during the night?"

"No, Mama, I was sleeping."

"Please, sweetie, it's very important, close your eyes and think, please, think hard. I need you to try to remember the last time you saw Anna."

"She was showing me the new ballet dress that Grandma bought for her."

"Okay, sweetie, that was last night. Now, I want you to think about during the night. Close your eyes and think." Emily took the girl's hands and squeezed them.

The girl thought for a while.

"I had a bad dream."

"Okay, don't open your eyes. Tell me about this bad dream, everything you can remember."

The girl was thinking, "The man was rubbing a towel on Nana's face, then… Mama, no, Mama, no, I'm afraid, Mama." She started to cry.

"Okay, okay." Emily took the girl on her lap and hugged her, "Open your eyes, sweetie, that's okay, now. I'm here, nothing bad will happen. Shh, Shh."

"Then the guy came to my side and… I don't remember anything else."

"Jolie, how did he look like?"

"It was dark. I couldn't see straight, Mama. I'm sorry." She was pouting.

"Okay, sweetie, you did great, Mommy is here and nothing bad will happen to you. I promise. Now, go back to sleep, okay. It's too early still."

It was clear for Emily that they used chloroform on the girls to make them faint. She went to the girl's room to check the window and yes it wasn't locked, "How did he do this? Oh my God, my baby. Hold on, sweetie, Mommy is coming."

She went downstairs to make a phone call from her cell phone.

"Tsia?"

"He's gone."

"What? Who? What's going on?"

"Jeremy's dead, Emily."

"What?"

"I got home from work and he was just lying there. He'd been in the shower. I don't know. I couldn't see anything. They think it was a clot."

"He's not even 40. How could—"

"He didn't have a pulse, so I called the ambulance. They tried to revive him, but…"

"Did somebody break in?"

"Uh-I don't think so. Look-look, he was out for his run. He's training for a marathon."

"Was it his usual path?"

"Yes. But he came back early. He-He called me, said he wasn't feeling well."

"Did he fall down on the path? Did anyone run into him?"

"Oh, God."

"It's him, isn't it? It's Doyle."

"Yes, definitely… He took my daughter."

"What?"

"During last night, he broke into my home and took her. He left a note saying if I tell anyone that I'll never see her again and we both know that Doyle doesn't play games."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

"Wasn't Derek there?"

"No, son of a bitch must be following our steps. He knew Derek wouldn't be here and actually I have to be thankful for that. He would kill Derek without even thinking."

"Emily, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know about you but I'm going to find my baby girl even if I have to travel to hell to bring her back. Have you talked to Clyde or Sean?"

"Clyde is in a mission somewhere in South America and I tried to call Sean back but nothing."

"How long have we been talking? You've got to get out of there. Get a flight. Leave France, get back to America. Cash transactions only from here on out. Am I clear? Toss that cell phone and get home safely."

As soon as she hung up the phone it beeped with a message, '_She's very beautiful sweet girl. She has my eyes_.' She threw the cell phone on the couch, "SON OF A BITCH!"

She didn't notice that Jolie was on the top of the stair, in her pajamas, holding her Teddy bear. She was scared. She had never seen her mother acting so weird, "Who, Mama?"

"Oh, Jolie, no one, I—I'm sorry… I didn't mean to say that. That's a bad, bad word and we should never say this, okay. Come here. Are you hungry? Mama's going to prepare a delicious breakfast for you."

"Mama, where is Nana? What happened to her? That bad man took her away? Is he going to hurt her?"

"No, sweetie, nothing bad will happen to her, I promise you."

**========== / ==========**

Anna was being taken in a private plane to somewhere in Europe. Doyle was anxiously waiting for her. His henchmen had sent a lot of photos of her to him already. She had been sleeping soundly during the most part of the operation because of the strong products they had used to dope her. She woke up in the plane. She was in her pajamas. She opened her eyes and she could see three other men.

"The Princess of the Boss Daddy woke up!"

Anna was scared, "I want my Mom."

The three guys smiled.

"Please, I want my Mom, I want to go home."

It was obvious that the men didn't want a child screaming during all the trip on their ears. One of them approached Anna, showing her a gun, "I'd be in silence if I were you. We are taking you to your Dada, don't worry."

Of course that she was scared, as much she was a little badass, like Emily, and has the strong Ian Doyle genes, and was raised by Morgan, she was only seven. She started to cry, curled in herself.

**========== / ==========**

During all that day, she got a new message each three hours or so. He was torturing her.

'_At least you bitch you were useful for something, to have my beautiful daughter_.'

'_You whore, I bet you did not expect a baby, but it should not be surprising since you opened your legs daily_.'

'_Tell your co-worker fucker that you call husband and I'll have the pleasure to kill him myself_. _Instructions are coming soon_.'

'_The more I hate the more I'm motivated_.'

'_I'm dying to see you again, love_.'

'_Let me show her if her Mama really loves her_.'

'…_This one is_ e_specially for you_.' This message came along with a photo of Tsia, dead, with a shot in the head. This was a few hours after Emily had talked to her.

"Oh, no." She sat on the couch and she wanted to cry.

"What happened, Mama? Please, Mama, call Dada."

By this time, Emily was so sure that Ian wasn't working alone. He had already hired a whole army to work for him all over the world. It wouldn't be a surprise for her if a photo of Sean and Clyde showing them dead came to her anytime.

"Nothing's wrong, baby. You know we can't call Daddy now, right? He's working. He's so busy at work."

Jolie was very scared. She could feel by Emily's torment that something was very wrong. But she was much too young to put it all together.

Emily was finishing giving Jolie something to eat for dinner when a new (and last) message came to her cell phone, '_You have 24 hours from now to be at the meeting point of Delhi International Airport, New Delhi, India, ALONE. You bring someone, you'll never see our daughter again. She's already very far away from you. See you soon, love_.'

Without even thinking, she took Jolie upstairs and put on a pink set of sweatpants, with hood, because it was too cold outside. She took the baby bag and put some clothes of Jolie inside it. She also took the favorite Teddy Bear of Anna, the Chicago one, and put it inside her purse.

"Jolie sweetie, take your favorite Teddy bear with you."

"Mama, hold me tight now. I'm so scared."

Jolie was standing on the bed. Emily was in front of her, finishing dressing her. She put on the hood on Jolie's head and hugged her. She was fighting back tears. She was doing her best to keep the control, "Everything will be fine, I promise."

"Where are we going, Mommy?"

"We've to go somewhere, sweetie, everything will be alright, okay, I need you to help Mommy here, just be a good girl, okay?"

Before leaving, Emily opened the safe in her bedroom and she took out all the documents that were in there.

She was driving to the BAU totally focused on what she would do next. She could not break down. She would save Anna from him even if she would have to die for it. She knew if she involved Derek or the team in this, Derek would be the first one to be killed and then the team. She didn't want to take this risk. This war was hers.

**========== / ==========**

**At the BAU**

It was seven thirty at night. The team was working on a difficult case in California. Emily entered Garcia's office. She could hear Morgan talking to Garcia, which broke her heart even more.

"Baby girl, listen. We got a laptop here that was owned by the last victim. I'm going to hook it up for you over at the model home so you can work your magic, all right?"

"What kind of magic?"

"Well, the victim was a writer, so maybe she kept a journal? Maybe she noticed somebody following her or just felt something weird, I don't know."

"So we're fishing."

"Yep. "Oh, and, Garcia, the suspects who are left, see if any of them have a tech background, enough that they would know how to modify a remote garage door opener."

"Done, love you, ciao."

"Thanks, baby girl."

Garcia took out the earphone to talk to Emily, "Hey, there. Hey, my sweetie pie, what such honor you visiting me here at work."

"Pen, I need a favor." Emily was agitated.

"Anything…. You seem a little…"

"Please don't ask me anything."

Normally, Jolie was super happy to see Penelope because she was always so funny. But the little girl was so scared because of the way her mother was acting, that she was about to start to cry. Also Penelope could sense how very nervous Emily was.

"First of all, I need you to erase all the content of my cell phone. I know you can do this."

"Why?"

"Don't ask me."

Penelope wanted to find a way of not doing it but Emily was there all the time by her side to make sure she would do this correctly.

"Done."

"I'm going to ask you another big favor. I'm entrusting you with my very precious gift. I want you to watch over Jolie until Derek can get her to take her home. Watch her closely, Pen, please do not let her out of your sight not even for a millisecond, and only let Derek take her from here. You promise me?"

Penelope was in panic mode already, "Emily, you know I love watching this angel here but not under these circumstances, what is going on? You're scaring me here."

"You promise me?"

"Yes, But… "

"Please don't ask me for any details. I cannot answer them right now. I'm in a hurry and you know that I wouldn't be leaving her with you unless it was for an extreme emergency and it's, but I trust you with my life and I trust you to take care of my precious baby with your life, too.

Jolie was only three but she could understand perfectly what Emily was saying to Penelope. She knew she would be left there. She started to cry out loud. Emily bent down to talk to her. She took both of her little arms.

'Y_ou have to be strong, Emily_.' She was thinking this repeatedly to herself because the moment following would be one of the most difficult things of her entire life.

"Jolie, look at Mommy, listen to Mommy, sweetie, you trust Mama, right? Trust me that I'm doing this for you and this is killing me too. I never want to have to leave you, even for a second, but this is an emergency and cannot be helped. How I wish things were different but they aren't. Please, be strong for Mama and know that I'll always love you and you'll be forever in my heart, even though you can't see me, you can always feel me here… (She touched Jolie on the heart)… I need to you to be here with auntie Pen until Daddy can come to pick you up."

Jolie was crying compulsively. Emily gently held her chin, "Shh, stop crying, listen to Mommy, you have to take good care of your Dada, he's going to need you now more than ever. He'll need you to be a big girl and be strong for him, okay? Know that I love you with my life, never forget this."

Emily took off her gold necklace, "I want you to keep this with you and every time that you miss me, you hold this and I'll be so close to you, here… (She touched Jolie on her heart again)… and remember that I'll always love you no matter what. Never, ever forget this."

She hugged her little baby as if it was the last time she would see her. She knew that the chances of her getting out of her 'meeting' with Doyle alive were extremely remotes. She kissed Jolie on the cheek, "I love you, baby. I love you."

Penelope was crying. Emily was standing now. Jolie grabbed her legs, "Don't leave me here, Mama. I want to go with you, please. I want to go with you." She was sobbing.

"Pen, please, don't tell Derek anything until he's here. I need time. If you tell him anything, you're going to put him in a big danger and he'll be killed, you can count on this, so, please, don't tell him anything."

Penelope was petrified. "Look at the situation that you're putting me in here, Emily. Please, at least say where you're going to."

"I can't."

"Am I not supposed to ask about where Anna is, too?"

"That's right."

Emily looked up to prevent the tears from falling. She was holding them the whole time to seem strong to Jolie, "Pen, tell Derek that I love him, that I never meant to hurt him and that I'm so sorry." Her voice was cracking.

"Emily, I will, but you know that Derek is going to ring my neck for letting you go. This is going to break his heart so much that you did not tell him that you were going to do this, leaving Jolie here and he does not know the turmoil you are going through. He would want to try and help you here Emily."

"Nobody can help me, Pen". She took Jolie in her arms for a last long and tight hug. She put the little girl on Penelope's lap and left, closing the door, without looking back.

"Mommy, Mooooomyyyyy… Nooooooooooo…" The little girl was sobbing.

Walking to the BAU corridors she was still looking up once and a while to not cry. She could still hear Jolie screaming calling for her until the moment she entered the elevator. She had to focus on Anna because if she thought about Jolie for one second she would turn back.

"Auntie Pen, please, take me to mama now, take me to her, now, I only want to be with Mama."

It was hard for Penelope to distract the little girl when herself was so devastated. "I know you want to be with your Mama now, sweetie, but your Mama knows if you follow her you'd be in danger and she has to protect you and I have to listen to her now, and protect you. Your Mama has to take care of something important and when she's finished, she'll be home to you and your Dada."

The little girl was sobbing. Penelope tried to track Emily's cell phone on the computer. It was when she saw from the cameras that Emily threw her cell phone in the garbage can that was in front of the BAU building. She also could see when Emily entered a cab.

"Garcia, we need you to run a few more names."

"Hmm, Oh, okay, sir."

"Phillip Long."

"Long has no suspicions on his record, no arrests, and no technology either."

"Drew Jacobs."

"This is a really beautiful room."

"I WANT MY MOMMY, I WANT MY MOMMY"

Of course that Hotch could hear her, but he didn't realize it was Jolie that was there. "Garcia, since when is our building turned into a day care center? What's going on there?"

"Sir, I'm sorry. Something came up that cannot be helped."

"…As long as it doesn't interfere on the case."

"It won't, Sir. Garcia out."

"Shhh, little angel, you almost got us in trouble here."

Pen took the one of the computer cute plush toys that she had on her desk, giving it to Jolie.

Jolie took it and threw it back on the desk, "I want my Mama."

"I do anything to help you, pumpkin, anything, but I can't bring your Mama back."

"I only want Mama Auntie Pen, nothing you give me will help except Mama, no toys, no foods, no candies, nothing but Mama only please."

"I know you want only your mama sweetie, and nothing I do or say will change your tune about wanting Mama only, so I'll just give you a big hug now, is that ok?"

Jolie nodded with tears in her eyes. Pen hugged her.

"Thanks for the hug, Auntie Pen, now, can you please take me to mama now?"

**========== / ==========**

Emily was already on the flight to India, like it had been asked on the instructions from Doyle. She was looking out the window but she couldn't see anything, it was dark. She had only one thought, _'It's me that you want, you bastard. You're going to have me. You're using my daughter as bait but I know it's me that you want. You can kill me, but I'll save her from you, you can bet.'_

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine**

After a very long trip by plane, Anna was now in a big beautiful room. It seemed to be a library but she had no idea where she was. She had looked for a phone so she could ask for help, but there was no phone in there. She sat on the edge of an armchair. She wasn't crying anymore. But she was extremely sad. After about forty minutes that she was there, someone entered the place. She got up scared and leaned against the bookshelf. She was feeling cornered.

With a few steps, on his typical calm ways, he approached her, touching her hair, "You know who I am?"

**========== / ===========**

**Guys, I'm not hearing from you, and I so wanted to know some opinions, please, leave a comment. Thank you for reading.**


	36. Chapter 36

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

"You know who I am?" Ian Doyle had asked Anna.

The girl was scared but she was still a fighter just like her mother, "I have no idea who you are, but I can tell you are the Devil himself and I must be in hell now, because you kidnapped me. You'll be locked for the rest of your miserable life. My parents work for the FBI and they'll catch you and you'll be very sorry, Mister Devil."

"Is this how you talk to your Father?"

Anna had the shock of her life. It seemed like all the air was sucked from her.

"What did you just say? You are lying! You are not my father. I have a father already and his name is Derek Morgan, and I feel sorry for you when he puts his hands on you."

Doyle smiled, "You're tough just like your mother. Somehow, I like it. She should have told you about me and you must know that troglodyte is not your real father."

Anna was thinking of when she first discovered that Derek wasn't her biological father.

Ian bent down a bit to be able to look at Anna, very close, in the eyes, touching her hair again, "Listen, my daughter, your mother is not the angel you think she is. She ruined my life, she killed my son. She kept you, my own flesh and bone, from me. I didn't even know that you existed until few weeks ago. We could have been a wonderful family together and she ruined everything. It was her fault only. But the good news is: I'll make that happen."

Anna was strong, but she wasn't nothing more than only a child, so she started to cry, "Please, Sir, I don't want another family. I just want to go back to my family now, please."

Ian wiped her tears with his thumb, "You'll get used to this. I think your Mama will join us very soon."

This gave a little hope for Anna. She was taken to a bedroom after this. She was really scared, confused, sad, curious to know a little more about her biological father, but she wanted to be with the father she knew all her life and that was Derek and she wanted to be with her mother, so she continued to cry.

**========== / ==========**

After exhaustive hours of flying, and many tears, and anger, and hatred, she was at the rendezvous, at the airport in New Delhi, few hours before completing the 24 hours that she had.

She was standing there for two hours or so. It was indescribable the mix of emotions that had accumulated inside her during those two hours. She was in such pain because she had left Jolie, not knowing if she would ever see her again. She was worried about Jolie and her feelings but she knew Jolie had Derek and she'd be safe. She needed to keep the focus on Anna and save her and send her back to America, then, she could die quietly.

After these two long hours standing there, a little boy in his ten years of age, approached Emily. He was using a cap covering most part of his face, "Are you Emily Prentiss?"

"Hmm—Yes."

"They said you should go outside and enter this car." The boy gave a note to Emily.

"Thank you." She was extremely nervous, but always trying to keep the calm, compartmentalizing.

It was obvious for Emily that the boy knew nothing what was going on. He was only some random person who they had given some money to deliver the note to her. She stood there for a few seconds like high and dry, with this note in her hands. She was looking at the huge glass exit door of the airport.

She crossed the door as if accepting once and for all her cruel fate. She looked around and the car was parked on the other side of the street. She recognized the man that was standing outside the car waiting for her. It was Liam. She took a deep breath while she was waiting for the pedestrian traffic light to go green. She controlled herself to not cry, not because she was afraid, but because of the anger she that was feeling.

She crossed the street towards the car. Liam had his arms crossed and a devilish smile on his face. She approached the car and he opened the back door for her, "It's so good to see you again." She didn't reply and entered the car.

She was expecting that Ian was there in the car, but he wasn't. There was an unknown man at the wheel, and Liam was on the passenger seat. After a long road trip, they entered a private plane.

**========== / ==========**

**The next day, Ukraine**

They had provided new clothes for Anna because she only had her pajamas there. She had refused to eat during these 48 hours or so. She was getting into a state of prostration, only lying in bed, crying quietly.

Doyle entered the bedroom to check on her. She didn't even move on the bed.

"You need to stop crying and eat."

"I'm not hungry. I want to go back to my home. I miss Mommy and Daddy."

Ian smiled sarcastically, "You say he is your father? Don't you ever feel rejected and less loved than your little sister? Think…"

The master of the manipulation had to start to make the game turn up to his side. He knew how to enter her mind and make her confused.

"Your mother doesn't love you as much as your little sister either because she loves the child of the man she loves. You're from the man she hates."

She was sobbing already, "That isn't true. She loves me."

"Anna, face it, you're a painful reminder of a relationship that your mother thought was a huge mistake. She never told you about me, who I was, not even a name, because she hates me and she wanted to forget about me, so her feelings for you could never be strong, I bet you can see how she loves your baby sister much more and your so called father only loves his blood child only, he only feels an obligation to you, so does your mother, there's no love for you, only duty and obligation."

Anna was totally devastated, full of doubts.

"If I knew about you from the beginning, I'd have been with you all the way, and you'd have feel my love for you, not this second and third hand love you are getting from your mother and your so called fake father."

"Stop talking! I do not want to hear anymore." She covered her ears, crying hard.

Ian approached her, caressing her head. He bent down to say, "I know, love, the truth hurts, but it heals, it frees, and we learn."

**========== / ==========**

**BAU**

It was almost ten at night when the team finally arrived from that case in California. They, quietly, went to their desks and offices as they were extremely exhausted. Derek looked at the meeting room and the light was on. He could see Garcia and she made a sign as if calling him to go there. He dropped his go bag on his desk and climbed the stairs.

He entered the meeting room and saw that Jolie was lying on the couch, sleeping, while Penelope was sitting next to her, caressing her on the head.

He frowned. He was totally surprised. Garcia got up and approached him as she could see by his face that he was anxiously waiting for an explanation.

"Emily had a problem."

"Problem?"

"Yes, it sounded like it was really important and she had to leave this poor little angel here with me and she just fell asleep. She didn't sleep since yesterday."

"She has been here since yesterday?"

"Yes."

"What's going on?"

"I—I don't know. She didn't tell me and…"

"Garcia, we've been talking the whole night and day and you didn't tell me anything?"

"I know, Derek, I know, but Emily didn't let me…" Garcia started to cry.

"Where're Emily and Anna?"

"Derek, I don't know, I really don't know. She didn't tell me. She only left this angel here and vanished."

"Vanished?" Derek got his cell phone to call Emily.

"It won't work."

Derek insisted on the call.

"It won't work, Derek."

Two times he had tried, two times voicemail.

"She threw her cell phone on the garbage can, I saw it."

"What? Why would she do that?"

"_Mama, mama, mama, please_." Jolie was crying in her sleep.

They stopped talking for a while to not wake up Jolie.

"…Maybe because she doesn't want us to know her whereabouts. It really sounded like this.

"Garcia, what else did she say, please, tell me everything, from the beginning."

"I was talking to you, about the case, when she broke into my office bringing Jolie. She said she needed a big favor that I had to take care of Jolie until you came home from the case. She made me erase the content of her cell phone, on the system…"

He cut her off, "…and you did?"

"Derek, please, understand, I had no choice. She seemed to be really in danger and she said if I told you, you'd be killed as fast as a bullet."

"Bullshit Garcia, you should have called me right away. Emily is in total danger too if she is saying this. I have to find her now before it's too late."

"I know, Derek, but I just didn't know what to do. She got me totally by surprise. I was so scared and sad about all this. She said goodbye to Jolie as if it was the last time she was seeing her baby. It broke my heart. I think only one thing would make a mother leave a child… another child."

"Yes, I know. It has to do with Anna. I think her biological father did come for her but I have no idea who he is, where is he from, nothing. She never told me a single word about him."

Derek was devastated. He didn't know what to do next. He was totally lost, "You should have called me Garcia."

"I couldn't stop her. Tell me how to stop a determined mother from saving her child? You know normally Emily is already the most stubborn person in the world, imagine then under these circumstances".

Derek was furious and nervous. Pen touched her arm, "She also wanted me to tell you before she left that she loves you very much and that she never meant to hurt you and that she is so sorry about all this. She said she had to do this to protect you and Jolie and I could see it in her eyes, even though I am not profilers like you all are here, that she was telling the truth."

"Garcia, I know she thinks she's doing this to protect me, but who is going to protect her? She's heading into a trap. I think she has no back up and she can get herself killed. She should have gotten help from me and the team."

Penelope was in tears. Hotch saw all the buzz there and went to check. He heard the last words Derek was saying, "Who needs help?"

At the same time, Jolie woke up crying out loud. Derek sat next to her, carrying her in his arms, "Shhh, sweetness, Daddy is here. Stop crying, please, everything is okay."

"Sir, it's Emily."

"What happened?"

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine**

She woke up in a big room, same library where Anna had stayed in her first day there. She was on a big sofa. Her vision was a little blurred, she had a terrible headache, and when she tried to come to a sitting position, she felt a strong dizziness. That was because they had used chloroform on her.

She knew in her heart that Anna was somewhere in that house. The first thing she wanted to do was to make Anna sure that her mother was there for her. That was why she had brought her favorite Teddy bear.

**========== / ==========**

**America**

While Derek was comforting Jolie, Garcia told everything to Hotch.

"Morgan, I think that the best thing now for you to do is to go home with your daughter. She has been here for two days and this isn't good for her. It's clear Emily doesn't want to be found. She had her reasons to do this and she didn't want to involve you."

"WHAT? I'm already too damn involved, Hotch. I'm involved up to my neck! Anna is my daughter! Emily is my wife! I know they both can be in danger and am I supposed to stay home doing nothing?"

"I didn't say this. I'm only saying this poor little girl had enough for two days already. She needs her father now. Go home. Try to find any clues. The team needs to rest. This last case took four days in a row as you know. Even if this has anything to do with Anna and her biological father, he won't kill his own daughter, and if he's doing this to get Emily to meet him, it isn't to kill her either. If he only wanted to kill her, you know he'd have done already."

"I need to find them, Hotch! How am I supposed to go home without them? Knowing they're in danger?"

"Wherever Emily went, she's already there Derek. You have to get your head together so tomorrow we can start putting everything together and look for them."

Derek had to agree with Hotch. There was nothing they could do now.

"Pen, when was the last time Jolie ate?"

"She refused to eat or drink anything, not even candy or cookies, she refused chocolate, she only says she wants her mama only nothing else."

Derek had Jolie in his arms, "So, sweetness, how about on our way home we stop at McDonalds to eat something?"

"No, Dada, do not stop there at McDonalds, or anywhere else. We need to go where Mama is. I want to help you find mama. We go together to find her together, Dada.

"No, my darling, we both need food and rest now, especially you, since Auntie Pen told me you did not eat anything since yesterday. We'll find Mama but not at this moment."

"I cannot eat even one small bite of anything, my tummy is full only empty for mama only, so no use to go to McDonalds or anywhere other than finding Mama."

Derek was driving home with Jolie. It was past eleven at night. It was about over a half an hour drive from BAU to their home. Every millisecond Jolie was like a broken tape recording asking the same thing over and over again, nonstop. No matter what Derek said to her, she always asked the same thing.

"Dada, where are you driving to now? Hope it's to find mama, right? Please, Dada, I want Mama now."

After so much crying the little girl fell asleep on the backseat in the car. Derek was driving through the night. He was thinking and shedding some tears of anger, "Why Emily? Why did you have to run away? Didn't you know that this would be impossible for me that your baby girl here would never stop crying for you and would not eat and will make herself sick from all this? Why didn't you just trust me? Why didn't you tell me everything?" He punched the steering wheel. "I should have seen this coming."

He entered home. Everything seemed so in silence more than ever. He put Jolie on the sofa. She was still sleeping. He started to look for clues everywhere in the house. He went to the girls' bedroom. Everything was there, intact, all the clothes, the things of ballet and school. The window was closed. He went to his bedroom. The first thing he noticed was that the safe was opened, and empty.

"I just wished I knew what was in there. I even tried to open it and you stopped me. I'm guessing all your passport and documents you need to run away were here, but what else are you hiding, Emily?"

He looked in her closet and all the clothes seemed to be there. He looked at the bed and it was all messed up and Emily never left the bed like this. It was always the first thing she did. Do the bed. He then imagined all the torment she lived without Anna. He sat on the bed, staring at the photo of the family on the frame that was on the nightstand. He sighed. Jolie started to cry out loud making Derek go back downstairs.

"Dada, I want Mama, please. I want Mama."

"Jolie, please be a good girl for Dada. You know Mama is not here now. I promise I'll bring them back but please, you have to help me here."

"I want my _su su_, Dada…"

Jolie was asking for her pacifier. This was the most stressful time for her so she needed it so bad.

"My _su su_, Dada, please."

"You quit this long time ago. All your pacifiers are thrown away by Mama, remember? …Because you're big girl now."

"I want my su su, please, Dada."

"Okay, let's make a deal then. We can go to a drugstore now and buy new pacifiers for you, but you have to eat something. You and me, we both are going to eat something, okay?" Derek was hoping that the pacifier would help her not to cry as much.

When he took her in his arms, he noticed she was all wet, "Oh no Jolie you're all wet. Do I have to buy diapers for you at the drugstore as well? You quit diapers same time as your pacifier.

Poor Jolie was in so much torment that she had pee herself.

"I'm sorry, dada, I'm sorry, Dada." She was repeating in middle of tears.

"I know you are my darling, this is too stressful for you and I am so sorry, but we will find your mama and big sister soon. You have to help dada here, you have to be strong for me, can you do that sweetness? Now before you go I'll give you a big bath, okay."

"Can you sing that rubber Duckie song? Mama always sings for me when she bathes me." Jolie always bathed with her little yellow rubber Duckie in the bath tub.

Derek was bathing her and singing the song.

"Mama sings betta then you, Dada."

"That's because your Mama has a beautiful voice of an angel. Your Dada has a tough rough voice, right?"

"Yes Dada you're big and strong only special at that, not singing. Big strong people like you dada not meant for singing, just protect people."

"That's right, Jolie, I'll always protect you, your Mama and your sister and I'll continue to do this. I'll do everything in my power and more to bring them back soon as I vow to always protect you all."

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine**

She was wakened for hours already in that library.

She was wondering if falling in love with Derek had not been the most ridiculous and selfish thing she did in her life. She always knew she would have to settle accounts with the past, and that this would involve Ian Doyle. Bullshit. As if she had any choice not to be charmed by his wonderful soul, by his endearing smile, by that sparkles in his eyes. Love just came and took her with it. She could even feel grateful for having lived such a beautiful dream of forming a family that was almost was real, if she would not have to tear up the heart of who she loved so much in the process, Derek, Jolie and Anna. Now she had to face reality, and it is not as bright as in the dreams.

She couldn't help but think about Jolie. She knew that Derek would be taking good care of her. However, she knew that Derek was taking care of all the physical needs of her, like food, putting her to sleep and other things but she knew the emotional needs would be so tough for Derek to fulfill all of them for her. She knew how much Jolie was attached to her, and that Jolie would always want her and cry for her. Emily knew that Jolie would have a very hard time without her and that she might not have much appetite and she would have trouble sleeping without her there. Emily then hoped that Derek could comfort her enough that Jolie would be able to eat and sleep properly. She knew this would be a very difficult task for Derek but she had complete faith in Derek to do so.

It was eight thirty in the morning but she had no idea what time it was. Her thoughts were brought back to where she was by the noise of someone opening the door. She was sitting at the couch and she stayed motionless. Her heart was beating so loud that she could hear it. It seemed that it was going to jump out of her chest. But she did her very best to not show her fear. She had only listened to someone unlocking the door but she knew it was him, and she was right. He entered the place and locked the door again, taking out the key and putting in his pocket. She kept sitting, motionless, but looking at him all the time. He approached her but not too much, after an intense look, that gave her chills, he said "Hello, love."

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading**


	37. Chapter 37

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

"Hello, love." He had said walking around her while she had her eyes wide opened, observing each movement of him.

He did not even seem remotely to be that caring man who treated her like a queen, in the past, and that she had fallen in love with so intensely.

As much as she knew she was in a big trouble, and as much as she was a little afraid of what could happen, she was kind of relieved because she'd finally face her past. At least, it would stop chasing her any more. It would have to come to an end now.

She was trying not to think about Derek. She knew that Derek was her true love, but the feeling with Ian had been so intense. Everything had been so intense and quick and overwhelming that she was wondering if all that feeling had really come to an end. His eyes, however, did not show anything but hatred and anger for her, plus a huge desire for revenge.

She wanted to yell at him and beg to let her go with Anna. But she knew that things were not that easy. She was in a big disadvantage, so her tactic was to only wait, and watch, and 'dance to his tune'.

"Hello, Ian."

"At Interpol, you were a very so called high class prostitute Lauren, or is it Emily?"

Somehow this deeply hurt Emily.

"Hello, Ian? Is that all you have to say to me, bitch? After you have trapped me like a caged animal to have me and sent to a rat infested prison of a hell? Killing my son and then having my baby girl and not even telling me you were pregnant? Keeping her away from me? Just a 'hello', that's it? No explanation, nothing? Well, nothing that you can say will excuse your deplorable disgusting behavior. You think I'm a criminal when the real disgusting criminal has always been you, you worthless bitch of a whore."

"I deserve all these words. I accept. I accept all that you want to do with me, but, Ian, please, send Anna back to her life. She's only a child. She wasn't part of what I did to you. She has her life in America. She doesn't deserve to be locked here."

He smiled sarcastically, "Are you serious? You want me to let go of my own flesh and blood and just forget her? You made me miss so many years already with her and I won't lose another millisecond more."

"Ian, I know how much you loved Declan. I saw it with my own eyes and I hope you'd feel the same love for our daughter. She's your flesh and bone like you said and you should want the best for her... and you know she already has a life in America. She's in the middle of a ballet competition with her company, did you know that? And you're taking this from her just like a lot of other things, like school and everything."

"She'll have all the best here with me."

"You know she has no chance with you, Ian. You can kill me, torture me and do whatever you want to me, but I know someone will be looking for her and they will find her, and you'll go to jail again. The best thing for her is to send her back to her life in America, then, you can kill me if you want to."

"Have patience my love", He said sarcastically with venom, "No rush for any killings. I want us to have fun and celebrate our wonderful reunion. As for Anna I'm not locking her up. She's allowed to wander around freely, but for you, my whore, you'll be locked up and imprisoned. I want you to feel how it's to be locked up like a cage animal for what I had to go through with that prison I was in all because of you. I know killing you now would be much easier for you but I want you to suffer like I did for all the torment and anguish you caused me."

"It wasn't my fault, Ian. You know that. You did illegal things and this is your fault, not mine. I truly loved you. I proposed to you to leave this miserable criminal life you had and you said no! I was pregnant already by that time! But you chose your criminal behavior over me and Declan and the baby I was carrying."

"So you think by telling me all this, that this will be the cleanse all of your sins and your soul from any crime? What about the fact that my son was killed? You purposely trap me to send me to prison hell and everything you told me was a complete lie. Even if I have accepted your proposal, I bet you'd still have me locked away and kept me away from children still and still and continue to betray me."

"No, Ian. I wouldn't. I truly loved you. You know that."

"I don't know anything, and I will never trust a word that comes out of your filthy mouth ever again."

"You can say that I'm a liar but nothing can erase the way we felt when we were making love, Ian. Nothing can change this. This cannot be faked."

"Shut up, you fucking bitch of a whore." He slapped her on the face, making her fall on the couch. "I cannot hear any more of your lies. You think I'm going to be hooked by your lines like you did to me the first time I met you. No more, again. I won't believe in one word that comes from your bitch of a mouth, ever again. I fell for your charms once and it landed me in jail. I'm not going to fall for your poison ever again."

"Ian, I need to know about Anna. She must be scared, please, tell her I'm here." Emily took the Teddy Bear that was in her purse. "Give this to her, say that I love her."

He took it and held it for a while, then, he threw it against the wall, "I don't want her to know you're here. I'm done with you today. Know that your only small tiny chance for you to see our again is for you to behave yourself, and be prepared, the fun starts tomorrow."

"Ian? Ian? Please…"

He slammed the door, locking Emily again.

"Son of a bitch!" She said to herself in defeat.

Emily was in total torment not knowing what to do next. She didn't want to tell that Declan was alive because she knew that Ian would bring Declan there, and ruin his life. She would try her best to keep this a secret from him. She was thinking hard of a way that she could get Ian to let her see Anna. She was hoping that Anna could feel her presence and she was also wishing that Anna would insist like crazy that she wanted to go home to her family and that Ian would not hurt her. "Hold on, baby, Mommy is here." She muttered.

========== / ==========

**America, BAU**

The team was gathered in the meeting room.

"Garcia, tell us everything that happened, slowly, since the moment Emily entered your office."

"Sir, I was on a call with Derek, sending information about the case you were working. Emily entered and she said she needed some favors. After the talk with Derek, I log off, and said, 'anything' as I'd never, even in a zillion years, imagine she'd… run away."

"What else, Garcia?"

"She forced me to erase all the contents of her cell phone of the system."

"And you did?"

"I had to, Sir, I know I'm the expert one here on computers' language but our _Em_ is not stupid. She'd know if I don't."

"…And then, Garcia?"

"She asked me to take care of Jolie until Derek was here and I wasn't supposed to let her go with anyone but Derek."

"She never mentioned Anna?"

"No, JJ, she said I was not supposed to ask about Anna."

"You have anything to add? Nothing is irrelevant Garcia."

"Rossi, Sir, she didn't tell me any information as much as I tried to ask. It really seemed like a farewell, her and Jolie, which made me cry a lot because it was all so sad and she begged me not to tell Derek during the case because she needed time."

"Time so she could escape."

"That's right, Doctor Reid. She also said if I warned Morgan, he'd be killed as fast as a bullet. And as soon as she crossed BAU exit door, she toss her cell phone in the garbage can."

"Obviously Emily was so worried that if she told Derek that he'd be killed and she didn't want to get the team involved because of one thing, fear of Anna being killed."

"Rossi, whoever abducted Anna told Emily that she could not tell anyone or she would suffer the consequences and Emily would not risk Anna's life on this. But it's obvious that this person used Anna as bait here. I don't think the point is to kill Anna."

"Emily is willing to risk her own life as she went solo. She stands a very slim chance here. We have to find her and Anna quickly. We will even the odds for Emily. I know that we all here are willing to do our best to find them."

Derek entered the meeting room with Jolie lying on his shoulder. She had the pacifier in her mouth, "I couldn't come before, she had trouble sleeping the whole night, only crying, and she didn't want to eat anything."

Penelope and JJ approached them.

"Oh, sweetie, come with Auntie JJ, just a bit."

"No, I want Mama." Jolie muttered.

"Morgan, did you find any clues at your place?"

"…Nothing that can lead us to the place she went, Hotch. The only thing is she has a safe in the bedroom, and since we moved together, I always asked about the safe and what she keeps inside. She never told me, she said it has to do with her old job and they were only documents she had to keep. I found the safe opened and empty. Otherwise, the things seemed all in its places."

"It obviously has to do with her last job before the BAU."

"Yes Reid, but what does this have to do with Anna's biological father?"

"What's make you think it's him?"

"The guy took Anna, to attract Emily, it has to be him. What do you know about him, Morgan?"

"Hotch, Emily told me he's a criminal and he's in jail, she told this to Anna in a moment of anger."

"As husband, is it the only thing you know about him?"

There was a moment of silence after what Reid just said, broken by Rossi, "He must have escaped and came for revenge. It's clear now."

"You're probably right, but who is he? And where did he take them?"

"Have you talked to Jolie? …The cognitive interview?"

"No, Hotch, no way I could do this with her. You have no idea how devastated she is. I can't make her to relive everything."

"Morgan, Jolie is the last person with Emily when everything happened. We have to talk to her."

"Rossi is right, Morgan. She might have information that can help us here. I think JJ would be best choice to interview Jolie. JJ's motherly and loving nature is what Jolie needs to make her open up."

They went to the interview room, so the others could be observing through the glass.

"You stay here with JJ, sweetie?"

"No, Dada, please, don't leave me." She grabbed his neck.

Morgan and JJ looked at each other.

"So, let's make a deal, then. I'll stay here with you while Auntie JJ is going to ask you some questions, okay?"

The girl nodded.

Derek sat on a chair with Jolie sitting on his lap leaning her head on his chest. JJ sat at the table, near them. The rest of the team was on the other side of the glass.

"Jolie, I'm going to ask you some questions, okay?"

Derek tried to take off the pacifier from her mouth, but Jolie stopped him, holding the pacifier in her mouth.

"So, let's talk about the day you were with your Mama at home, right before she brings you're here."

It was enough to make the little girl to start crying out loud, the pacifier almost falling from her mouth.

Derek hugged her, "Shh, sweetness, shh, everything is okay. We're going to find Mama and bring her back, shh… But Jolie, look at Dada, you need to help us here… you need to tell us everything about your last day with Mama… everything that you can remember… this will help us so much to find her and nana. Can you do this?"

Still sobbing, the little girl nodded.

"I know this is so hard for you, but you'll help us a lot to find Mama, okay?"

The little girl nodded.

Morgan looked at JJ as a signal she could continue.

"Let's start by telling me about the night before you went to sleep. You, Mama, and Anna had dinner. What did Mama cooked?"

It was an irrelevant question but JJ wanted to take Jolie back in time so she could remember everything that happened after.

"Vegetables and chicken… and orange juice."

"Hmm, this sounds really delicious. Did you eat everything?"

"I wanted to eat my chocolate but Mama didn't allow me unless I finished the food so I ate everything. Nana didn't eat everything."

"What happened after dinner?"

The girl was thinking, "I was watching cartoons while Nana was finishing her homework. Then, Mama put us on bed and read to me, the bed time story. Nana was complaining because she wanted to sleep, but as soon as Mama left the room, Nana got up because she wanted to show me the new ballet dress. She said I was not supposed to tell Mama she had a new dress that Grandma gave to her."

"Did she leave the room?"

"No."

"Did you see her on her bed?"

"Yes, we were sleeping and then the bad guy from my dream… Dada, please, Dada, no, Dada…" She started to cry again out loud.

Morgan hugged her again, holding her head on his chest, "This is so hard for her, JJ."

"I know."

"Shh, shh… Dada is here. Dada is here and I'm going to protect you."

"Sweetheart, I know this is not easy for you. No one at your age should have to go through all this, but you're being very brave and strong. What you're doing here is a wonderful thing, helping us and your dada to find your Mama and your big sister. I know your Mama very well and I know she'd be very proud of you."

The girl was a little calmer, but still sobbing.

"Now, tell me about this bad guy and your dream. I promise he cannot do anything to you."

"He used a towel to cover Nana's face. I was so scared, but when I was going to scream he covered my face too. It was a very bad dream, Dada."

She started to cry again. Derek was caressing her on the head, "I know it was, sweetness, but it was only a bad dream okay, no need to worry and be scared anymore."

Derek and JJ looked at each other. It was clear for them and the team that it wasn't only a bad dream and that the guy used something to make them faint for a while so he could take Anna.

"Tell me about when you woke up."

"Nana wasn't there anymore. I went to Mama's bed to sleep with Mama."

"Was it still dark?"

The girl was thinking, "Yes, just a little."

"It must be about to dawn. We use this expression 'just a little' a lot when they can still sleep just a little more before getting ready to school." Derek clarified.

"So, you entered Mama's room. Was she sleeping?"

"I asked if I could finish sleeping there with her."

"What did she say?"

"She hugged me tight and she asked if Nana had woken me up again, I said Nana wasn't there in the bedroom, and Mama went to check on her. Mama didn't find her, Dada, she didn't find her. Anna was gone."

Jolie turned her little hands to symbolize that Anna was gone.

"I don't want to talk anymore, please, Dada, please." She started to cry out loud again.

Derek hugged her, "Maybe she need a break, JJ."

"Okay, I'll be outside… with the team."

"Okay."

After JJ left, Derek was sitting on the chair and he put Jolie sitting on the table right in front of him. Her feet were touching his thighs and he was holding her little body, facing her.

"Princess, you did just great to help to find Mama and Nana. I love you so much and I promise I'll do my very best to find them and bring them home. But if you remember anything else, please, tell Dada, okay?"

The little girl stayed quiet.

On the other side of the glass, the team was putting some pieces together.

"Poor, poor little girl."

"I know JJ, but you did great in getting her to talk."

"I know, Hotch, but it's so painful for her. I can feel her pain and… I don't know… it's just too sad all this."

"So, someone in the middle of the night broke into their home, without triggering the alarm and took Anna, to make Emily go after her."

"Yes, Reid, someone used Anna as bait."

"It has to be her biological father."

"JJ, Garcia, she never mentioned anything about who he is? I mean, you guys are always going out and talking."

"Not even a comma, nada."

"Morgan told us that her safe was empty and it had things about her last job. Do you guys think there's a connection here?"

"I'm sure it has. We have to find out what link her old job with Anna's biological father. What does her personal file say about her last job."

"It says she was here, working for the FBI, in a desk job."

"It's weird. I had never seen her here. Maybe her mother, Ambassador, has any knowledge where Emily worked for before the BAU."

"I'm going to call her."

"Hotch, isn't it too soon to warn her?"

"We're running out of time Rossi. She'd find out, eventually. Garcia, check her passport, documents, credit cards, everything you can."

"Yes, Sir."

"Ambassador Prentiss, this is Aaron Hotchner."

"Mr. Hotchner, what is it? Did something happen to my Emily? I know that's the only reason you'd be calling me. What's it? I have a right to know right away as I am her Mother."

Few hours later, all the team and Jolie were in the meeting room now still putting the pieces together.

"I have no idea why Emily never told me what was going on with her. She has kept me in the dark about her life and doing things in secret and she was in total disarray and anxiety all the time but she'd never tell me what was disturbing her deeply."

"Dada, Mama threw the cell phone on the sofa saying son of a bitch. We aren't supposed to say son of a bitch right Dada?"

Everybody looked at Jolie.

"Right, Princess. It's a very bad word, and you aren't supposed to say this but what you're telling here really help us to find Mama. You have to repeat everything that Mama said, no matter if she used bad words. Just this one time you are allowed to repeat these bad words."

"Because Mama's cell phone was beeping all the time and Mama was getting so nervous and sad and sometimes she cried but she said it was nothing."

"I think she was getting messages from the people and one person that is responsible for abducting Anna."

"Maybe Emily got instructions if she told anyone like you or the team, Anna would be dead."

"Again: I don't think the point was to kill Anna but to attract Emily to a trap."

Garcia stepped in the room, "I got it, Sir. Emily got a flight to New Delhi, India, three days ago, at ten at night."

Derek punched the table almost breaking it, "Penelope, you should have told me right away Emily was here!" Jolie started to cry out loud so scared because of Derek's aggressiveness.

"Emily went to find and save Anna on her own because all the family was in danger. I see you doing the same thing for her Derek. Can you tell me any different? She said you were in danger!"

"Garcia, Emily is in danger herself and so is Anna. We have to find them now before it's too late."

Jolie was still crying, "You hurt me, Dada."

Derek hugged her very tightly with a big hug, "I'd never hurt you, Jolie. I'd rather hurt myself than ever hurting you like that you know that right? I'm so worried about Mama and Anna that I took my frustrations out on the table."

Ambassador Prentiss broke into the meeting room, along with Anderson, "I'm sorry, Sir, I couldn't stop her."

Jolie ran to her Grandmother, "Grandma, please, help find Mama."

"Of course sweetie, I will help to find your mama and your big sister. I want this as badly as you. I will use every zillion dollar I have to and call all my important contacts to find them the fastest and safest means possible. I promise I would do my best Jolie."

She looked at Hotch, "You better find my daughter and granddaughter soon and unharmed or I will make sure you never get a job here in US ever again or you will be working at McDonalds. If you need anything like funds, money, I will give anything to find my family."

"We're doing our best, Ambassador Prentiss."

"Well, it looks like your best is far from being enough. It has been three days already. With my connections I'd able to call people that would help this and expedite this investigation as you are all working at a very snail pace when my connections would get the speedy results."

"Ambassador, all these threats is not doing anyone any good. As a matter of fact it only causes more dissension and tension and makes things much worst. We all want the same things as you which are to find Emily and Anna as quickly as possible safe and unharmed so we need to pull together and work together here and not threaten each other and yelling at each other Ambassador. Now, you excuse me, we have to organize the team to travel to India."

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine – two days later**

Emily was locked in the library for five days already. There was only a small washroom there but no shower, and once a day a man opened the door to give her some food and water.

As much as her mind was trying to architect a plan to escape, she was feeling totally like her hands were tied. She had no idea if Anna was really there in the same building as her. Like Ian had said, she'd have to behave herself if she wanted to see Anna ever again.

She had cried thinking of Jolie and Derek, but she knew the major danger was with Anna. Not because Ian could do anything bad to his own daughter, but everything that was around him, not mentioning that Ian could be poisoning and making a brainwashing in her mind.

It was dark and the wall clock was pointing midnight. Someone was entering. It was Ian. He entered and left the door opened. He approached her.

"Hello, love. I'm going to take you to have a little fun."

"What do you mean Ian? The only thing I want is to see Anna now, please let me see her."

He smiled devilish, handcuffing her.

"What are you doing? Please, I want to see Anna."

"Before you die, I'll let you see her. For now, you'll just follow the rules."

========== / ==========


	38. Chapter 38

**I own nothing**

**=========== / ===========**

She couldn't hold it anymore being stuck in that library for a whole week. She needed to find Anna, '_if you're going to kill me you son of a bitch, then, at least I'll try to find my daughter'_. She was desperately looking for a way to escape. Under the carpet, behind the books, everywhere that could have a secret passage as the windows had a huge iron railing.

She had no idea what time it was, but she knew it should be very late at night since it was dark for a long time. Ian should be sleeping. It was when she looked at the ceiling. She saw a small square. Her first thought was if she was capable of entering that small space. Also, about how she would reach it since the ceiling was so high. She climbed the sofa and tried to reach it but she was still too far, 'shit!'

It was when she heard someone unlocking the door. She quickly sat down and waited. It was Ian. He entered and approached her. She had her eyes on him wide opened all the time.

"Did you miss me, love?"

"I can't say yes."

He smiled sarcastically, "You know what I love about you? …Your naughty way. It makes me horny."

She constantly panicked, "Don't you dare to touch me, Ian!"

He smiled again, "It looks like you aren't in a position of choosing anything, love."

She mentally cursed him, '_You go to hell where you belong, you son of a bitch_.' She bit her lips to control the impetus of saying it out loud.

"But don't worry, love, our fun is just starting, and I'll take things very easy for you, for now."

He took a handcuff from his pocket. She hated when she had to beg something especially if the person in question was Ian Doyle, but this handcuff would totally ruin her attempts of running away so she had no choice, "Ian, please, there's no need for this. I'm here willingly. I'm not going anywhere, please, in the name of what we lived in the past, please, you don't need to do this."

"Exactly in the name of what we lived in the past that I have to do this, love. Don't think you'll get away with what you did to me."

He handcuffed her hands from behind, "We're going for a walk."

He took her to the basement. It was a horrible, dirty and dark place. He tied her to a chair and turned his backs to prepare a weird machine.

He approached her from behind placing both of his hands around her neck, "Where's my ring?"

"I flushed it."

He smiled a sarcastic-demonic smile.

"I spent seven years in hell because of that ring. So, now I'm going to give you another gift, one you won't get rid of so easily."

He slowly began unbuttoning her shirt, making her breathing to accelerate in panic. She had no idea what he would do next, and she was trying her best to not show any fear to him.

"A four-leaf clover should be a nice addition to your other tattoos." He then turned on a nasty looking machine. It was a branding iron. He looked at her, "You still have two, right?"

"Yep, and that's enough ink, thanks."

"Ink?" He smiled devilishly, "North Koreans can't afford ink. No, no. They brand themselves."

She could see when he turned up the power of the machine to the maximum possible. She finally got what was that. She hated being afraid, but that was something she couldn't control. It was as if she felt a prior pain for what would come next. Her body automatically became rigid in defense.

When he approached her from behind the chair, she tried to shrink her body but there was no escape. He grabbed her by the hair with one hand and with the other he branded her on the breast, "The more you fight, the more this will hurt."

Emily SCREAMED in pain.

========== / ==========

**DC - America**

"Mom, how are you?"

"Derek, what's wrong? I can feel something in your voice."

"I need a favor."

"Anything. You're scaring me."

"Mom, I need you to come to DC to stay with Jolie for me. Something happened to Anna and Emily. They're missing. I'm going to travel to India because all the clues we have so far lead us to there."

"Oh, my God, what do you mean, they're missing?"

"Mom, we have no details. We'll talk when you're here. Can you do this?"

"Of course I can, Derek. I'll catch the first plane."

"Thank you, Mom."

Derek and Jolie were in his bed now. It was night, "Princess, Grandma Fran is coming to stay with you, okay?"

"Why, Dada?"

"…Because I have to work to try to find Mama and Anna."

"I want to go with you, Dada."

"You can't go with me, baby, because it's too dangerous and I need to stay focused on finding them. You're going to be here with Grandma Fran, she'll take good care of you."

Jolie started to cry, "I don't want you to leave me like Mama did, Dada." She said sobbing.

"Jolie, I'm not leaving you, Princess, I'd never do that. I'm going to miss you so badly and my heart will ache, thinking of you, but you want Dada to find Mama, right?"

"Uncle Hotch can do this." She said sobbing.

"Jolie, it's complicated for you to understand, but I have to go to help them, the team. I promise I'll bring Mama and Anna home, but you have to help me here, so please stop crying."

Derek hugged her. He needed to do something to try to cheer her up, so he said, "Remember when we were playing soccer and Mama fell down stepping on the ball?"

In the middle of the tears, she smiled, "Mama fell down falling on the soccer ball. She tripped over it and Mama insisted that she was trying her best to make a special shot."

"Yes, she did… You remember that time when we all went to the beach on a Sunday afternoon, and I lifted up mama and carried her in the ocean and dumping her in there?"

"I remember that Dada. Mama pretended to be angry at you but I caught her smiling and I'm sure she loved it, saying that she would get even with you at bedtime, what does that mean dada?"

Derek smiled thinking of Emily. He sighed before answering, "Mama got even with me by tickling me all night when we were in bed."

"Wow, Dada, Mama really got evened with you. That must be torture for you all night, she tickling you"

"Yes, Jolie it was torture but a very enjoyable torture."

"When Mama come back I'll sleep with you two forever and ever, and every night we can tickle each other all night too, okay dada?"

Derek was thinking to himself, '_great!_'' He smiled, "Okay, sweetie."

After talking a lot about Emily, Jolie finally fell asleep. All these memories were overflowing him and making Derek even miss Emily much more, even though he was so angry at her for not having trusted him and not asking for help and just running away.

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine – next day, at night**

"Mr. Doyle, I really miss my family. I want to go back home. I know you're my father and it was so good to meet you, but I want to go back home now, please." She was begging, crying.

"I will love you so much, Anna. You'll forget about all those fake people that said they love you. They were just lying to you, even your mother."

"Your Mother used different name, Lauren, to trap me, so I could fall in love with her and so she could get all the evidences on me to lock me up in jail. Your mother is a professional liar who get paid a lot to lie so everything she told you, Anna, about loving you and do anything for you, all the sacrifices she did, protecting you from me, it was all a lie."

"No! You're lying." She was sobbing.

"I know it's hard for you to find out the real truth, but who's looking for you now? You're here for almost ten days now and no one is looking for you. Also your fake father is lying to you saying he loves you as his real daughter. This is total lie. He only loves his blood daughter and I can tell by the look in your eyes, that you know this already."

Ian did love Anna and he would never hurt her physically. He knew his words were doing a mental damage in her mind, but he thought he could fix her mental state with his love as he was just too crazy and delusional. Anna, poor her, she was feeling ungrounded, totally abandoned and helpless.

She was crying with her face stuck on the pillow, and thinking, 'This is all so crazy, insane and it has to be all a horrible nightmare. What he's telling me about Mama has to be a lie, that she trapped him and she and daddy don't love me and only love Jolie. I know this is true but him saying all those horrible things about Mommy have to be a lie, it has to be a lie. But what if it isn't?' This made her cry even more.

This scene brought tears to his eyes. Yes, Ian Doyle was tearing up seeing his daughter in pieces. He had a heart and somehow she had reached it. He approached and sat on the edge of the bed. He hesitated in the beginning but then he touched her head and started to caress her hair. For his big surprise, Anna was so devastated and needy, in one movement, she was sitting on his lap, hugging him tight, "Please, I want my Mom, please, I want my Mom. I want to go home."

She was trembling and crying. He held her and started to caress her on the head, "Please, send me back to my family."

He couldn't remember the last time someone hugged him so tight. But that hugged brought Declan to his mind. It was the same feeling with his daughter on his arms. After Anna was a little calmer, he held her chin, "Anna, I am your family now. I am your father. I know you had another father so far, but it was all a lie. I am your real father and you'll have a great life with me. It is just the beginning and it's normal for you to feel this way, but I promise it'll get better."

Anna felt loved and comforted because she could feel his love for her as that was very genuine and real from Ian. He took a photo of Declan as four years old from the pocket of his jacket, "Look at this."

Anna looked at the photo, "Who is this?"

"This is your brother."

Anna looked at Ian and looked at the photo again, "Where's he?"

He sighed, "He's dead."

Anna looked at Ian. He completed the sentence, "…because of your mother."

Ian had no sense that it was just too much for a little girl to bear, "My Mommy would never kill anyone especially a child. She works protecting people, not kill them. Mommy would never do something this horrible."

"I know it's hard to believe, but I have photos of him being shot. I won't show you because you don't deserve to see such horrible thing, but she did this. So, the people you think is your family, you don't know them, at all."

"I know them all my life and I know you for a few days only."

"You're right. Thanks to your mother, again. But we're going to fix this."

"I don't believe my mother did this. You're lying." She was confused.

He took the photo of Declan being shot, and showed to her, "Well, you left me with no choice, look at the fingernails."

Anna was in shock, she wanted to vomit. He put the photo in his pocket, again, "I'm sorry for showing you this but I don't want you to have any doubts about who your mother really is."

She was silently crying. She lay down again under the duvet.

When he was about to leave the bedroom, kind of not knowing what to do, he heard "Mr. Doyle?" Her voice was cracking.

He looked at her, "Please, stay with me?" She was feeling totally lonely and lost.

He wasn't expecting this. He approached the bed again, "Do you want me to stay with you for the night?"

"Yes, please. I'm afraid."

He wasn't the kind of man that was used to demonstrations of affection, so he was kind of lost. He thought for a while, looking at her.

"Okay, I'll put this armchair here, and sit next to you until you fall asleep okay?"

She nodded, "Hold my hand." She reached for him.

He held her hand, and he stayed there enjoying the company of his daughter and it was such a good feeling for him.

He felt so cheated for never be able to see her like a baby and crying and that he would hold her in his arms and rock her to sleep. He was just imagining Anna as a new born baby which made him so much angrier at Emily for stealing all this from him.

**========== / ==========**

**America**

"No, no, no, Dada, not again, Mama said goodbye to me, it was too much. I'll never be able to take you leaving me too Dada, please, I have to go with you to find mama too, or you have to stay and let your friends find Mama without you. They can do this."

"Jolie, we talked about it yesterday, remember? I told you, you can't go. Grandma Fran is here, she'll be sad you don't want to stay with her."

"So sorry, Grandma Fran, I love you so much and love being with you, but I need my Mama and with Mama not here I need Dada and now both are gone and I don't think I'll ever see any of them anymore."

Derek took both of her little hands, "Look at Dada, I'm NOT leaving you, I promise I'll come back bringing Mama and Anna. Don't you want to see them? Don't you want them back?"

Jolie grabbed him, holding him tight. Hugging her, Derek looked at his mother in his best '_what the fuck I'm gonna do_' style.

"My dear granddaughter, I brought this for you." Fran took a pack with candies, chocolate, and everything for her.

"I'm so sorry, Grandma, I still don't feel like eating anything. I think food makes me want to throw up because I feel so sick without Mama."

"Jolie, you have to promise you'll eat everything Grandma gives to you. I need to know that you are going to be okay so I can find Mama, please, I need you to do this for Dada, promise me?"

She nodded, crying. Derek hugged her, lifting her, "Please, be good to your Grandma, okay, I love you." He kissed her on the cheek.

"I love you too, Dada."

Derek put her in Fran's arms. He was holding back tears. He didn't want to break down in front of Jolie. It'd make things worse.

"Derek, please, take care of yourself, and just find Emily and Anna safely as quickly as possible. In the mean time, I'll pray hard for you all, and Jolie and I will pray together, right sweetie."

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine**

After Ian had branded her, he left her in the same library for two days before he would visit her again. She had been studying a way to reach the ceiling, even though the small vent passage had a padlock in it. She would have to take off the hinge. She had some things in her purse that could help her with that. But first, she had to wait for his next visit, and then put the plan into practice as she would have at least a day to do this.

He finally opened the door and entered, locking it again. She looked at him, eyes wide opened, waiting for his next movement.

She was sitting on the couch. He approached her as if studying her behavior. A dense silence formed being broken by her, "How's Anna?"

While opening the belt of his jeans, he said, "I'm not here to chat."

She was hoping with her life that he would only take out the belt to beat her, but when she saw that he was opening the zipper of his pants, she knew things would be so much worse.

"No, Ian, no." She ran away from him to the other side of the library, leaning against the bookshelf.

She was a real 'badass' Emily Prentiss, she was used to chasing the worst kind of people on the planet, and she was used to fighting against strong men, but there was no chance for her here, Ian Doyle was infinitely stronger than her, she knew he would dominate her the moment he wanted. She fought in the beginning by instinct, but he reined her on the moment he chose, "You fighting makes me hornier."

"Please, Ian, things have changed now. We were two different people back then. Yes, the feelings of deep love and desire were very real and strong back then, but this is now and we cannot go back to that time. My feelings for you have changed and I have this commitment to someone else. I cannot do this, please Ian I cannot."

He smiled, "Since when you're so innocent?"

He approached her, grabbing her arm.

"Ian, no, please, don't..."

"Shut up!" He threw her on the couch.

**========== / ==========**

**India**

Emily had used her real passport and there was no other trip after this one she did to New Delhi. Morgan, Rossi and Reid were there in India. They were analyzing the security cameras of the airport for the past days since Emily had gone.

"So, this little boy handed something to her. It looks like a note."

"It must be instructions to her."

"We have to see the outside cameras."

The local security was there with them, "We only have security on the same street of the airport."

"You don't have security cameras in the streets?"

"…Unfortunately not."

"Shit!" Morgan punched the table.

"She isn't here! It's pretty obvious this is just to outwit us! She must be very far away from here. We're wasting our time!"

"We cannot give up so easy, Derek, someone here must have seen her."

"Rossi man, the best option here would be the boy, but we couldn't see his face."

"Are there beggars, homeless that used to be always here in the area?" Reid asked the local security.

"There are almost the same people, sometimes they steal and go to jail or just disappear but usually they're almost the same."

"Can we talk to them?"

Morgan, Rossi and Reid went to talk to all the boys that used to stay there begging.

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine**

She was fighting back tears. She was feeling too humiliated already, and she would not give this taste to him, of seeing her crying. She was trying to think of other things like UNSUBs and their atrocities because if she thought about the girls or Derek, she would cry for sure.

He was thrusting hard. She could smell his alcohol breath coming from his mouth, and it seemed long hours for her, while she had to hear things like, "You used to like this, bitch."

"I had forgotten how hot you were, you whore."

"How many zillions men you had to fuck with to send to prison, huh?"

And to look at the flesh of her breast that was recently burned with four-leaf clover while he was fucking her gave him an extra special taste and pleasure.

The big irony was that she truly had fallen in love with that man, as much as she had fought against that feeling.

Rape is the cruelest act that can be committed against someone. It's a devastating experience in every way. It is a total control of one person over another. It was an invasion, as if someone could get into you and steal your life, your feelings, your dreams, messing up with everything, things that will never be the same after that. It's like the rapist could turn you into what he wants with the power he has, violating every single aspect of her life. As much as Emily was so strong physically and emotionally, she was feeling so humiliated and invaded. She was afraid of the person she'd become after this. Yes, because she wanted to come out of this nightmare alive, her love for her children was what would make her fight for her life.

Satisfying his own animal and brutal instinct, he finally finished his dirty work. As much as he liked sex, with her, that was not the main issue here, but to show power, control over her, and of course humiliate her in every possible way. He closed the zipper and belt, while looking at her getting dressed, "You used to move your hips better, love." He left, slamming the door, like a bandit, a thief who steals dreams and destroys lives.

As soon as he left locking the door, she ran to the washroom. She was feeling totally broken down. It was as if a piece of her was stolen. Any love she had for him in the past was totally gone. All her feelings for him were of total disgust and hatred.

Her face was red in hatred. She couldn't even look at her image in the mirror, and she no longer could avoid crying, all the tears she was holding came out now, and there was no way she couldn't think of Derek, '_I'm so sorry, Derek, I really did my best to fight off this monster but he was so much stronger than me. You have to believe me that I didn't enjoy this, and didn't want this to happen. Any feelings of love and desire I had for him were long gone and it is now replace with hatred, loathing and disgust. You're the only person I want and love, Derek_.'

She broke down in tears and she was starting to doubt if she really had done the right thing coming all alone to try to save Anna. Sitting on the floor of the shower, hugging her legs, while feeling the water to wash her body, she rested her head on the knees, futilely hoping that the water could wash all the dirt he had left on her. '_Where are you, Derek?_' For a moment she wished that he would be looking for her, but then she thought about how quick Ian could kill him.

With this last thinking, she got up and finished the bath, '_No! This war is mine and only. I'm going to fight until the end_.'

She so prayed that Anna would realize how evil her biological father was, before Ian could make a brainwash on her mind.

'_Fuck you, Ian, you violated me, you broke me down inside and outside with your tortures, rape and branding but I won't let you win. I'm going to save Anna from you, even if it is last thing I do, just like I saved Declan from you. I won't let you raise Anna and teach her your evil morals and corrupted teachings. I'll do all this, even if I have to die, as long as Anna is away from you. I know you'd destroy her even if you do say you love her, but you don't know what love is, anymore, Ian. You only know about hate and destroying people's lives, and I won't allow you to destroy Anna's life any longer_.' She was thinking all this while she was dragging the bookshelf to be right under the vent passage on the ceiling, very carefully to not make noise.

She climbed the bookshelf with a hair clip in her hair that she would use to try to open the hinge since the opening had a padlock. After a few minutes of trying, she managed to open it. She had nothing else to lose so she couldn't just stay there doing nothing waiting for the day Ian would kill her, she had to try. Holding with both hands the vent passage, in an impulse, she managed to come through that narrow passage. She had no idea where this passage would lead her, but she kept going, dragging herself very carefully.

After about ten minutes, she found another vent passage. She only prayed that it wouldn't lead her to the last place she wanted: Ian's bedroom. She stopped, and pressed her ear against it to try to listen to something so she could know what part of the house it was. She heard a very soft sound similar to a fridge's motor, so she assumed that the passage would lead to the kitchen, but she had no idea how she would open it since the hinge was on the other side.

Luckily for her, this opening was different from the other one, so it was so easy to open it which make her think Ian had put a padlock on the other one just because she'd be stuck in there, '_Son of a bitch, he plans every single detail, but I'm going to beat you_.' She opened it and despite it was dark because it was late night, she could see a huge kitchen. It was too high and she had nothing she could jump on. It had to be on the floor. She couldn't take the risk of breaking a leg or arm on the fall so she hugged her legs tight and jumped on tough floor, biting her lips to stifle a cry of pain.

She stayed quiet for a moment, only observing around, then, she got up and she started to walk towards to a big dining room, then to a living room where she saw a huge wooden ladder and a mezzanine. '_The bedrooms must be upstairs_.' She was trying to control her heart, her fear, '_Breathe, Emily, just breathe_.' She climbed the stairs, very slowly, and the mezzanine led to a big corridor with a lot of closed doors. She could almost feel Anna's presence which made her heart beat even faster. She knew that Anna was right there behind one of those doors, but, so did Ian. She just had to pick the right door.

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading.**


	39. Chapter 39

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

She was walking through the corridor, slowly; afraid of that Ian could catch her before she could find Anna. As she was approaching the doors of the bedrooms, she could hear the loud snoring, so typical of Ian, especially when he had drank a lot. This gave her the benefit of knowing which bedroom Ian was in so that she wouldn't go there.

As a profiler, she knew that he'd put Anna in the bedroom next door to his own room, so she gently opened the door right next to where the snoring was coming from. There was a table lamp on near to the bed. Emily could see that it was Anna sleeping, '_Oh, my God, thank God. Hold on, Emily, Breathe, just breathe_.' She looked to up to prevent the tears from falling. She had a mission to do and she needed to keep calm and controlled and totally focused. She approached and sat on the edge of the bed, making the little girl to wake up, jumping totally scared.

"Shhhh, Anna… it's me, it's Mommy."

"Mommy, mommy, is that really you? Mommy…"

"Shhh, shhh, Anna, yes, it's me, listen, we cannot wake him up, okay? Stay quiet, shhhh."

"Mommy, what's going on? I want to go home. He said you'd never look for me, Mommy, please, take me out of here. I thought you wouldn't come for me. He said horrible things about you, that you killed his son and…"

Emily cut her off, "Listen Anna, you cannot believe a single word that Ian says about me or anything, he's quite convincing and he'll completely fool you and think he's being sincere. The only thing that he might say and that can be true is that he loves you, but his love is sick because no one who loves someone would kidnap the person and keep them away from their mother and other loved ones like he did to you. He's just trying to poison you against me, but we can't talk about this right now, we're running out of time, here. Listen, I can't take you out of here, but you have to do this by your own, okay? We don't have much time here, so pay attention to me."

"No, Mommy, no, no, I need you, please, no, no, no."

"Anna, this is your only chance, sweetie, stop crying, pay attention to Mommy."

"I don't want to go alone, please. We can go now, while he's sleeping."

"There are a lot of his men surrounding the house, Anna, it would be too dangerous. We don't want anyone to get hurt, right? But, listen to me, you can do this by your own."

"No, Mommy, no..." Anna hugged her mother so tight and cried with her face stuck on Emily's chest to muffle the sound of her crying.

For a moment, Emily just hugged her daughter in her arms. The little girl was missing this so much. She was just stroking the little girl with her fingers through her hair until she calmed down.

When the little girl was calmer, Emily took both of Anna's hands, holding them tight, "Anna, I know that you can do this as you are just as strong like me. This is the only way to save you and I, and I know you want this. You can do this, Anna. I'm always so proud of you and now you'll make me even more proud of you. Please, listen, carefully to all my instructions now."

Anna was scared but was looking at her mother, paying attention.

"You have to find a way out of here. I don't know how, but I'm sure you'll know the perfect moment and the best opportunity. He can't suspect of anything and please never mention that you saw me here or that you know I'm here, and don't change your behavior towards him or anything. He's so smart and shrewd that if anything changed he'd know. Anyways, I'm going to give you a few ways out, first one is the laundry. You can hide between the sheets and clothes in the basket but you have to pay attention if they send it to a laundry company. Another way is when someone is going somewhere by car, you get in the car, on the floor of the backseat, and stay there, don't let anyone to see you, when the person arrives at the local, you wait for him to get out of the car, count until twenty and then get out of the car."

"I'm afraid, mommy, and if he catches me?"

"I'm sure you'll be careful, Anna, but if he catches you, you just say you want to go home. He knows this, and I'm only saying to you to do all this because I know he'd never hurt you, physically at least."

"…And these wounds on your face, Mommy?"

"These are nothing. Anna, we don't have much time, I have to go now. Please, be safe, remember each word carefully I said to you, don't let him know, wait even days if it takes, for the best opportunity, but you have to get out of here by yourself, you need to do this, you promise me?"

The girl nodded.

"Okay. As soon as you escape, you go ask for help. Don't talk to people on the streets, just walk and try to find a policeman. Don't say where you were, nothing, just say you need to go to the American Consulate, American Consulate, keep this in mind, once you're there, you say you're the granddaughter of Ambassador Prentiss and that you want to talk to her, they'll know what they have to do. The important thing Anna is for you to go back to America."

"What about you, Mommy? I don't want to go without you. I don't want to leave you here."

"You go first and I'll go… when… I still have things to do here. I can't go now with you, but you have to do this. It's your only chance."

She had to lie to Anna. She knew that it was matter of time until Ian kills her, so she had to be sure that Anna was safe so she could die in peace.

"I have to go now."

"No, Mommy…please, stay with me, we can talk to him together."

Emily squeezed Anna's hands, saying firmly, "Anna, no, we can't do this. You don't know this man and the things he's capable of. If I stay here with you, I'd be a big risk for both of us. Just remember that I am somewhere in this house, thinking of you all the time, waiting for when you're safe so I can save myself."

"You promise?"

"I promise I'll do my best, sweetie."

Emily hugged her daughter again, so tight, but trying her maximum best to keep strong and not breaking down. It was hard because she didn't know if she would ever see Anna again in this lifetime, same feeling she had when she said good-bye to Jolie.

"One last thing, Anna, I'm going to use a stool, in the kitchen, to go back to the place I was before, wait ten minutes, then go to the kitchen and then put the stool back to its rightful place. If anyone catch you there, just say that you were thirsty, understood?"

The girl nodded. She was also trying to be strong but she was shedding tears.

Emily wiped the tears off of the face of her little girl, "Also, sweetheart, remember how much I love you, everyday of your life, never forget how much I love you and that you mean the world to me."

They gave a last hug to each other, "I love you too, Mommy."

**========== / ==========**

**America**

After spending five days in India, Derek was back at home. He was looking for the correct words so he could explain to Jolie why Emily and Anna weren't with him. It was so hard for him to break Jolie's heart. He sighed before opening the door.

Fran was knitting. Jolie was watching cartoons with the pacifier in her mouth. As soon as she heard someone opening the door, she jumped off the sofa and ran to the door.

"Hey, little Princess…"

Derek could see the disappointment on her face. Before he could close the door, she held it, "Dada, where is Mama? Is she hiding to surprise me? Mama, where are you? You can come out now, come out wherever you are."

She was holding the door, looking at the hall of the building. Derek took her by her little arm bringing her inside and closed the door. He bent down to talk to her, "Jolie, Princess, Mama wasn't there where we thought she was. We couldn't find her yet."

Jolie took off the pacifier from her mouth, "No, Dada, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're lying because you promised me, Dada, you promised me and you broke your promise, and you never broke a promise to me before, Dada, never, how could you?" She threw the pacifier at Derek's face, and started to hit Derek on his chest, repeatedly.

Fran was standing near them, "Jolie you can never do this to anyone, especially your Dada."

This made Jolie even angrier, punching Derek and hitting his chest repeatedly. Derek then held her arms, "Hey, hey, listen to me, young lady, WE ALL are sad about Mama and Anna not being here, not only you. You should help us here and show a little support."

Jolie got rid of his hands and took the pacifier from the floor, climbing the stairs, crying. Derek and Fran looked at each other not knowing what to do.

"Derek, she refuses to eat or drink anything since you were gone and now it might get even worse, she barely sleeps either."

"I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think. I have no idea why Emily did this! I'm so angry at her, Mom. I'm going to save her even if it's the last thing I'll do in my life, but I don't want to even look at her face anymore. Why she had to run away like this? Why she just didn't trust me? We could have saved Anna, the team and I. I'm so very pissed because I bet she thought I wouldn't do my best to save Anna, because deep down she thinks I don't love Anna as my own daughter, or like I love Jolie. This all is very frustrating. And now this turmoil with Jolie, I just want to run away. I'm so sorry, Mom, you don't deserve all this, hearing all of this."

"Derek, you'll always be my little baby, you need to vent and I'm the best option, because I'm your mother and I'd never judge you. You need a break to put your pieces together again. I'm here for you and I'll always be."

"I'm so grateful that you're here for me and Jolie, Mama. I'd have no idea how I'd get through all this without you to take care of her. I feel like I'm going to have a mental breakdown and meltdown and just go completely insane, but I'm going to fight so hard to find them and bring them home. I'm going to fight for my family, Jolie, Anna and Emily. I have to be strong especially for Jolie, right now."

"Yes, you have to, son, she needs you so much."

"I'll prepare something that I think she'll eat, just like Emily used to prepare for her."

"No, son, I'll prepare something and you say to her that it's just like her Mama's cooking. I know how very tired you are, also, she misses her Dada so much, too, just go to spend some time with her."

Derek kissed her mother on the forehead, "Thanks, Mama."

He climbed the stairs and went to Jolie's bedroom, but she wasn't there. He looked for her in his bedroom, then. She was there on Emily's side of the bed, where she used to sleep, holding one of Emily's scarf. He approached her and he then sat on the bed. The little girl had tears in her eyes but she seemed calmer with the pacifier in her mouth and the scarf on her nose, "It smells like Mama."

"I know. I miss Mama, too, Jolie, a lot, just like you. I miss Anna, too."

"Me too, Dada, but I miss Mama more, I need Mama. I cannot eat, drink or sleep without Mama, the only thing that keeps me going a little bit is to smell anything of hers and sleeping on her pillow."

Derek had a big lump in his throat, "Tomorrow, we're going to try again. I won't stop looking for them until I find and bring them home."

"Then we're going to be a happy family again, Dada?"

Derek sighed not sure of anything anymore as he was so angry at Emily, but there was no way he could disagree with her, "Yes, sweetness, we're going to be a happy family again."

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine**

It was around 3.a.m.

She didn't know what was worst anymore: the rape, or listening to his words while he was doing his dirty job, raping her "You've been wearing a mask during all your life, the Emily Prentiss mask, but when you took off that mask, you were only Lauren Reynolds, which is the real you, because I saw how she was free spirited. I'm the only person who really knows you. I know what you like. Emily Prentiss is a robot, uptight, pretentious bitch, feeling so superior doing anything to put criminals like me behind bars, but the real truth is that you are the real criminal, lying to me to trap me, killing my son, an innocent child, and then keeping my daughter away from me during all her life and lying to her about who her father really is. You are the real criminal, you worthless whore. I'm going to kill you, but not now as killing you so fast would be too easy for you to pay. I want you to suffer as much as I suffered, and slow, and little at a time, like how you did to me when I was in that hell hole of a prison. I'm going to make you have my baby, the son you took from me, and the years you stole from me with my daughter. I'll keep you imprisoned just like I did with Declan's mother."

He was raping her hard, and this time, it felt like hours, always saying the most awful things. She wanted to vomit already but she had nothing on her stomach.

She felt like dying inside but her two precious baby girls are the only thing that gave her the spirit to not give up and not to die. She was thinking to herself about how she could fall in love with this monster. Any ounce of him that made her fall in love with him the first time was totally gone. She just felt nothing but repulsion when he was touching and thrusting in her. All her feelings for him were now of revolt, hate and total disgust. What made her more disgusted was the fact that Anna had this monster's DNA and even though she knew Anna wouldn't be like him, she had to fight to be alive to make sure Anna would always be on the correct path.

She was praying that she didn't have another demon seed child of his, even though Anna was such a sweet heart, there was no way Emily would want another child of his. She was on pills but she had stopped taking them since she was stuck there for two weeks.

"You bitch and whore, I remember you calling my name when you made love to me before. I want you call my name when I am thrusting in you. Do this or I might give you another brand, I want you to shout '_Ian oh yes oh yes, more, more'_, like you did before, you worthless bitch."

The tears came to her eyes but she wouldn't let them fall in front of him. She had to swallow all her pride because she wasn't in a position in what she could provoke him. Things were bad enough already the way they were.

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine – next day, in the morning**

Ian and Anna were having breakfast on the terrace.

"Did you sleep well, darling?"

"Yes."

"Good, me too, I had a great night."

Anna was in silence, eating her cereal with milk.

"You like the ballet, right?"

She nodded.

"I'll buy new ballet clothes for you and you will go to the best ballet company of this country. Here they have the best schools for this."

"I'd like that, Mr. Doyle."

"Anna, please do not call me Mr. Doyle anymore because when you call me this it sounds like I am your teacher or a complete stranger as that is what people call their teachers and strangers and I am your father. You will call me 'Daddy' soon enough when you are more comfortable with me and know me better but in the meantime you can just call me Ian if you feel uncomfortable calling me 'Daddy' because I know you are used to calling that fake father of yours 'Daddy', so that is why calling me 'Daddy' feels awkward and strange to you, but that will change in time."

"I'm sorry, Mr.… Hmm, Ian."

"That's much better."

His cell phone was ringing. While he answered the phone, Anna was observing two SUV's parked, ready to go, she remembered about her mother's words.

"Okay, I'll get the documents and we can go." He said to the person on the phone and hung up.

"Anna, I'll make a small trip for two days only. There'll be a lot of people here to take care of you 24 hours a day, but I trust you to behave yourself, okay?"

"Okay, Mr.… Hmm, Ian. Can I go to my room?"

"Sure, but first, give me a hug."

Anna approached him and hugged and kissed him, "See you soon, darling, in two days."

Anna felt differently hugging him. She knew that what her mother had told her about him was all true because she knew Emily during all her life, and Ian, just days. Anna also knew that Ian was abusing her mother badly with beatings so what Anna felt for him was hate but she had to act like nothing had changed for her or Ian would suspect and she might be in danger and it would make things worse for her mother. So it was an internal struggle and effort for Anna to put on a great acting show for Ian.

**========== / ==========**

**America**

Derek was ready to go to the BAU but he was having a huge hard time to leave because of Jolie, he was late already.

"That wasn't nice, Jolie, throwing the plate on the floor, look at the mess you made. Can you please act like your sweet self, it is not nice to throw your food, plate and bottle all over the place as this cause a mess and give a lot of work for Grandma and me to do. When Mama finds out about this, she'll be very sad and you don't want Mama to be sad with you, right? You were always such a sweet and polite girl that would never do this, please be like this again, can you do this for Dada, sweetness?"

"_Me_ just want Mama. _Me_ cannot help it. _Me_ so sorry Dada, _Me_ cannot help myself. _Me_ get so angry, sad, upset and frustrated that _Me_ cannot control myself throwing my food and bottle."

"Promise me you'll never do this again?"

"_Sorry, Dada, me cant pomise this_." (Sorry, Dada, I can't promise this.) "This is same like you Dada, you promise me you'd find Mama but you didn't at least I said I cannot promise you this, promising something and then not doing it will hurt you more Dada" She ran to her bedroom.

After a few minutes, Derek went after her to say goodbye, she was packing her things in her Minnie Mouse suitcase.

"What are you doing, Jolie?"

"I'm packing everything I need Dada, my Teddies, my _su sus_, my shoes. I have to be ready to go with you to find mama. I know it'll be far away that I need to pack all my things, all the clothes I need, too."

She took a family portrait photo that was on the dresser, "I'm going to take this too to show Mama when we find her."

"Jolie, listen, I can't take you with me…"

His cell phone was ringing, "Morning, Penelope."

"Derek… Derek, please, hurry up. Anna tried to make a call!"

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading.**


	40. Chapter 40

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

"Derek, hurry up, Anna tried to make a call!"

He was talking to Jolie when he got this call from Garcia. He got up, "What? W-where's she?"

"Dada, not fair, I want to go with you!" Jolie protested.

"Garcia, talk to me, Jolie, hold on, please."

"She tried to make a call but the only thing she said was, "Auntie Pen, it's me…" I'm sure it was her Derek, but I didn't have time to track the call. I think she'll try again."

"Garcia, if she calls again, please, keep her on the phone and track this call. I'm on my way now." He hung up the phone, putting it in his pocket. He was so nervous that he totally forgot about Jolie and her suitcase.

"DADA!" She called him back, crying already.

He went back to the room and bent down to talk to her, "My sweet Princess, I know how all of this has been hard for you, but I promise, this is coming to an end soon. You have to be strong for Dada. We're so close to bringing Mama and Anna back. You know I can't take you with me, you know that already, right, but you'll be with me in my thought and in my heart, always and forever." He kissed her on the forehead.

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine**

It was snowing hard, in a temperature of minus twenty degrees. Anna was in a public square. She was feeling totally lost and lonely. She had been brave managing to escape from the house in a basket of dirty clothes that was sent to a laundry near there. But her phone call to Derek had failed and her first phone call to the BAU had been interrupted even before she could hear Garcia's voice.

She had no idea how to call to Derek in America from Ukraine. She had no idea about what codes to use and everything. Luckily for her, Derek and Emily had taught her how to call the BAU from anywhere on the planet dialing only four numbers. But something had happened that the call was interrupted.

She looked around seeking for another public phone. She didn't see any other. She started to walk sinking her little feet in the icy snow, hugging herself because of the cold. Her lips were purple already. She had walked like two blocks before she found another public phone. Then, the first thing again, she tried to call Derek's cell phone again, but something was going wrong and she had no idea what. The thing was that she was dialing only Derek's cell phone number without any codes. "Please, Daddy, answer me." She was saying to herself and crying.

Then, she dialed to the BAU again and on the other side, Garcia was alert only waiting for Anna's phone call.

"Hello, Anna, is that you?"

"Auntie Pen, please, I want to talk to Daddy." She was totally broken, holding the phone cord while speaking.

"Oh, my sweet angel, he's on his way to here now, but just keep talking to me. Can you say where you are?"

"No, Auntie Pen, I have no idea where I am now. It's snowing a lot here. I'm cold, please, I need Daddy."

"Anna, where's Emily? Where's your mother? Is she with you? Is she okay?"

"I think the man, he said he's my real father, he's hurting Mommy, he's keeping her as a prisoner somewhere in the house."

By this time, all the team was in Garcia's office. They were looking at the computer screen and the phone call had been enough already to let them know that she was in Ukraine and that she was in a public phone. Derek was driving like crazy making a trip of normally twenty minutes turn in to a five.

"Ask her how she escaped, Garcia. She must be in danger." Hotch said.

"Anna, how did you leave the house?"

"Mommy said I needed to escape by my own, that I needed to save myself. I think he'll kill her, please, Auntie Pen, where's Daddy? I want to talk to Daddy."

"Anna, sweet pea, please don't cry, we already know where you are. Your Daddy will be here anytime soon, just keep talking to me, okay?"

By this time, Derek arrived there. Garcia quickly put the earphone on him so he could talk to her, while the team was updating him with the news.

"Anna, it's me, baby, it's your Daddy."

"Daddy, Daddy…" She started to cry to a point that she wasn't able to even to talk. Her emotions were all over the place now hearing his voice, someone she loved so much and that loved her. She so wanted and needed a hug from him now. She so wanted him to protect her and her mother. "Daddy, please, come to pick us up, Mommy and I."

"Look, we're going to. We already know where you are. I'm so proud of you, do you understand? Sweetheart, I know you must be scared, terrified and feeling alone, but you are not alone, we are coming to get you soon, my love, I promise you this. Right now just take a deep breath and think about all the time you and me had together, all the fun we had and just think about the future that we will have this same precious memories as a family. Just know I am with you in your heart now and spirit so you are not alone, because I know you can feel my love for you and this strong love for you is going to make me find you very soon and bring you and Mama home safe again."

"Daddy, I'm afraid. This man that keeps saying he's my father, he'll kill Mommy. He said Mommy was the one who put him away in jail and there is only hate for Mommy. He'll kill her any moment. I see the bad wounds on Mommy. He is beating her a lot. I can be sure of this, hurry, hurry, Daddy, please."

"Where's Mommy now, Anna?"

"She is in the house. She couldn't escape like me because the men is watching her and they have guns." She was crying.

Derek punched the table, "Anna, we're going to save you and Mommy, you can be sure of that, I promise you, sweetheart. Listen now, you have to go somewhere and be safe, go to a police station and stay there, just say to them that you're waiting for your father to come and pick you up, don't mention the house or guns or anything or you could put your Mommy in danger?"

"I want to go back to the house, Mommy is there."

"You can't do this, you have to be safe. Please, promise you're going to be safe, run to a police station as fast as you can, you promise me?"

"Okay, Daddy."

"I love you. I'll see you soon, baby."

"I love you too, Daddy."

**========== / ==========**

**BAU**

"SON OF A BITCH!" He punched the table again. "She wasn't supposed to be going through all of this, she is just a child! I'm going to kill this bastard with my own hands!"

"You have to keep calm, Morgan."

"How could this psycho do this with a child? She's petrified, Hotch! She's all alone in another country, and you know that at this very moment, they must be looking for her already. She's too innocent to know that she can't stay there because they'll know where she is. They're going to find her."

"Maybe the right thing was to contact the local authorities and let them know what is happening."

"Rossi, you know this would be premature."

"Hotch is right. This would result in Emily's imminent death immediately."

Everybody looked at Reid after he said that.

"Morgan, you have to get a hold of yourself. Anna needs you so much and if it wasn't for that, I'd tell you to stay, because you're like a loose cannon right now. That isn't good for any of us and any help to Anna and Emily the way you are acting. I can sympathize how you feel, most of us would go insane right now in your shoes, but, please, get a grip and calm down, that's an order."

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine**

Anna started to walk back to the public square where she was before. She was freezing that she could barely walk anymore. The trees, the bench, everything was white with so much snow. She was thinking about Derek's words, saying that she should go to a police station and stay there safe, but in her little heart, she wanted to go back to the house and stay with her mother. If her mother would die, she'd prefer to die too instead of living without her. But she had no idea which was the location of the house. She was lost. What she didn't know was that Ian's men had already realized that she was missing.

She was about to cross the street, when a car almost hit her. The car parked and it was one of Ian's henchmen, responsible for watching her.

"Here you are, you little brat! You're just like your mother!" He grabbed Anna by the arm and threw her in the back seat of the car.

She stayed quiet because deep down, she wanted to go back to the house.

"You thought you could fool me? You're so stupid thinking I wouldn't find you. You could have put me in a big trouble here and this also could kill your mother faster than you think. You do this again and I'd kill your mother with my own hands."

Anna could only cry in silence.

"Did you talk to anyone? You better not have or I'm going to kill you and your mother right now."

He was so terrified because he knew that Ian would kill him first for letting Anna to escape so he was trying to scare Anna to tell the truth if she contacted anyone.

"No, I didn't talk to anyone. I don't speak this idiom. I just wanted to go home. Please, don't hurt me or Mommy. Please, stop this. I just want to go home. I just want to go home."

"Cry, cry, you little brat. But save some tears for later when you'll have to see your mother being killed if you say one single word of what happened today to your father."

"I won't say anything. I promise. I just want my Mommy, I WANT MY MOMMY, I WANT MY MOMMY." She was sobbing.

"SHUT UP!"

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine **

The team arrived there in the city from where Anna had called around 30 hours later, because it was too far and also because of the bad weather. They had to find the place now, where Emily and Anna were.

Meanwhile, Ian got home before planned. It was night. He went to see Anna. She was on the bed. He approached her and then he sat next to her.

"I missed you, darling."

She stared at him with that blank, faraway look, and swollen from crying. For one tiny second, some sense came to him. Looking at that child and what he had done to her. He knew very well that love was that fragile thing that we gain a bit everyday with our actions and everything. But he also knew that his actions were arousing nothing more than fear in her. He knew he couldn't force her to love him and he so wanted her to love him. He was so desperately to be loved like Declan used to love him, a pure and sincere love.

"I so wanted that things were different."

She kept staring at him.

"I wanted that your mother had been honest with me. We could have been a family. My son would be alive still. I wanted to be able to sing for you to sleep, since you were a baby. You know, people think that I don't have a heart, but no one never really stopped to see who I really am. I know that I built my own walls around me during all my life, but this is because I had to, since I was a kid. I grew up in an orphanage but it felt more like a prison of slave labor and us, the younger boys, were used as fun for the older ones." He smiled sarcastically. "They used to sink our head on the hot tub until the point we faint and then they tried to make us live again… a lot of them didn't make it. This act of trying to save us after almost killing us was the maximum of love that I got during all my life. That's why I wanted so much to have a son, because I know he truly loved me, but then, your mother ruined this for me. She took the only thing I loved, and the only thing that loved me."

"She said she loved you." Anna muttered.

"She did?"

Anna nodded.

He smiled sarcastically, "We had good times together. For a while, we were a perfect family. But then, she ruined everything again. She should have told me about you since the beginning and things would have been so different. I know it's wrong what I'm doing to you, keeping you here against your wills. But you are my daughter, my flesh and bone. We have the same blood and this is such a strong connection." He looked at her. "You're a piece of me, and I love you already."

Anna felt a bit of empathy for that being. She approached him and touched his face, caressing it. "Mr. D- oops, Ian, I promise you that my Mom really loved you, she said this to me and she never lied to me. She said I was made by love, you and her, but you two didn't worked together, she said you chose to do illegal things instead of staying with us and take care of us, so she had to run away. But, I promise that we can try to be good friends now. I can't promise you that you're going to be my Daddy because I already have one, and I love him very much, but I can try to love you too, but you need to let me go."

Ian was smart enough to know that this situation could not last any longer. He knew he would have to let Anna go. He would never be able to really hurt her, but what he wanted to do to her mother would be the biggest hurt that he could cause to his daughter. He knew that the world didn't have space for him and Emily. He knew that one of them would have to die. And he had the big advantage still. So he had to act soon.

He hugged Anna, kissing her on the head, "I'm going to think. Now, try to sleep. It's very late."

He left the bedroom and went to see Emily.

She was on the couch. He opened the door and entered. She instantly got up and went to corner of the room near the huge bookshelf. Since he had revealed his plan to get her pregnant to substitute Declan she would avoid it at any cost.

"Lauren, darling, I am sure you missed me and was counting down the seconds when you will see me again, just dying for my touch again, right? I will always call you 'Lauren, the prostitute' because Emily is a fake name to me just like that troglodyte is a fake father to my daughter."

"You're never going to touch me again, you dirty pig."

He smiled sarcastically, approaching her. She started to throw books on him.

He smiled sarcastically again, "So, you are like law enforcer, FBI is like the police when they say you are throwing the book at me. I know you're trying to book me and lock me away like you did the first time."

"You're always trying to be funny, Ian, with your sick dark humor and sarcasm but you're just a sad, angry, empty and evil soul."

He approached her even more, grabbing her hair, saying, very close to her face, "You made me this way, you bitch." he said through gritted teeth.

"I'm tired of you blaming me for the way you are, Ian, your soul was evil long before I met you with your criminal activities and murdering and killing many innocent lives."

"And even so you fell in love with me so you're just as criminal as me. You're definitely a criminal too just like me as what you call prostitution? Even though you were supposed to be on side of law and order working for Interpol, what you did, selling your body just for a case is total prostitution and very illegal which is certainly a crime. Not mentioning the adrenaline that my illegal actions caused on you, you remember our best fucks were always after I seal a big deal. You used to fuck with me making the worst prostitute to look like an angel."

"The method that I used was certainly wrong but there was no other way, you are such a dangerous and evil terrorist and a threat to this world, that you must be put away so you could not hurt any more people."

"But you enjoyed A LOT this method that I know and you can't deny."

"I enjoyed it because I fell in love with you and that was my huge mistake but the heart is more stupid than the brain."

Still holding her by the hair, he threw her on the couch. Her head hit the wood of the arm of the couch and started to bleed. She took a bit to recompose herself.

The blood was streaming down her face, "Ian, you know this won't end well. You have to send Anna back to her life in America, before it's too late. I did my best to come after her without leaving a trail, but I have the best team of profiler of the world and they're going to find us, eventually, so please, let her go back to America and you can kill me so you can run away to where you want. I only ask you to let me see her one more time."

"You're in no position to tell me what to do, you lying bitch. I will never listen to a word you say anymore and I will never grant any wish of yours. I do not think Anna would want to see you like this all beaten up."

By Ian's behavior, Emily knew that Anna was still in the house. She had no idea that Anna had escaped to make that phone call to the BAU and returned to the house.

"You just do not want her to see what kind of man her biological father is, beating and torturing her own mother then Anna would truly know how evil and bad you are. And your hard brainwashing work on her, poisoning her against me and her family in America will all be for naught."

"Shut up, I don't want to hear another word from your dirty mouth."

He approached her opening his pants.

"No, no, don't you touch me. You're never going to touch me again, Ian!"

She ran away from him. "Dear Lauren, you still have not learned that the naughty way makes me even hornier?

He was reaching up her again. She waited for the correct angle. Without even thinking she kicked his balls, making him curve his body in pain. She would fight to the end but she would defend herself this time.

With blood in his eyes, he looked at her, recovering from the pain at the same time that the anger was getting bigger. She tried to escape from him with the maximum effort that she could do, but there was no chance for her. He finally vented all the hatred and anger that he was saving for her. He beat up her for over twenty minutes, kicking all her body. He was so strong and bigger than her. She was in so much pain, but ironically she felt like she was in paradise because another rape would hurt zillions times more.

His breathing was fast and he was exhausted of so much beating and kicking her, so he stopped for awhile.

She was on the floor, blood everywhere on her body. She could barely move because of the pain. She was wondering how many ribs of her he had broken. There was blood also coming from her nose so she didn't know if it was broken as well.

"I should kill you right now." He was huffing like a fierce jaguar, the devil himself incorporated.

From the floor, she looked at him, breathing hard, trying to recover from all the pain she was feeling, "…and what would you say to our daughter?" Her voice was cracking. "…that you killed her mother?" She wanted to cry so much with all the pain that she was feeling. She was tired of fighting. If it was not for Anna and Jolie, she would ask him to kill as fast as he could and she was so much exhausted but she wouldn't cry in front of him, no, no, she wouldn't give up, she was Prentiss – The Badass. "You think our daughter would love you for this?" Leaning on the couch, she was trying to stand.

"I'll take care of her. She's better without a liar of a mother like you."

"Ian, Anna loves me. No matter what you say to her, this will never change. I raised her during all her life with love, respect, and everything that she needed to grow up happy as a normal kid. I gave her a family. I gave her sense and hope and real values of life and precious things to live for. And you as a father, what are you doing to her? Keeping her as a prisoner against her wills? Watching all the beautiful things she believe in vanish in the air and her soul getting empty? Is this love, Ian? I saw how you loved Declan and everything that you did for him, how you protected him..."

He cut her off, "It wasn't enough to protect him from you!"

He slapped her on the face. She almost fell, but she managed to equilibrate, "Ian, the situation here is different, Anna doesn't know you at all, you're a complete stranger for her. I always made sure to tell her good things about you, ever since she found out Derek wasn't her biological father, even though she is too young to understand, I told her that I loved you and that she was conceived with love and that is so true, Ian, but, now, I cannot believe you turned into this monster that I don't recognize anymore. I really loved you so much in the past and if you ever were like this back then, there was no way I could fall in love with you."

"How dare you to mention Declan to me when you were the one who murder my sweet wonderful boy? You talk like you're this loving mother when you can kill this boy that you said you love as a son. You're a cold hearted killer."

"You're so wrong, Ian."

"I saw the photos!"

She so wanted to tell him the whole truth that Declan was alive and living a wonderful life in America. But she knew that she would destroy Declan's life if she told Ian the truth. If she only knew that the team was about to invade the place anytime, she'd tell him.

"Anyways, do you want Anna to remember of you this way? That you killed her mother? I'm sure she'll never forgive you, Ian. How would you explain all this to our daughter that you killed her own mother? You think she'll love you for this? I think not. All her feelings for you will be of total hate and disgust. You're far from being the man I fell in love with. I just want you to think about what kind of memory you want Anna to keep of you."

He approached her again, grabbed her hair, pulling it and spat on her face, angrily, "This won't save your skin, you can bet! I'm done with you." He threw her on the couch and left.

'_If I didn't have my two babies, Anna and Jolie, I'd end my life now because you destroyed my soul, you bastard. You totally invaded me everywhere and stole my soul that you left a deep dark hole in me that I'll never be able to recover, but it is my two precious babies that keep me going on to fight to my last breath until you kill me you son of a bitch!_' She was thinking to herself.

**========== / ==========**

**America**

As in Ukraine was around 2 in the morning still, in America, it was around 9 a.m.

"Jolie sweetie, at least drink the baby bottle please, I did it with chocolate, you love this."

"Grandma, I don't feel like drinking or eating. It has been two days already that Dada left and still not come with Mama. I miss Mama."

"Jolie, I know your Dada is doing his best to bring your Mama home safely. He's doing everything in his power to do this and you can help him more being a good girl. Do you want to be strong to give your Mama a big hug, right? So please, at least the milk."

"Call Dada, Grandma Fran? Call Dada now, please."

"We can't do that, Jolie, he must be busy. You heard him saying he'd call us as soon as they find them, so please, be patient and let's wait for him to call."

"You think Mama will remember me, Grandma Fran?"

"Ohhh, sweetheart, of course she will. I bet she's dying to see you again, and hug you. I bet she thinks about you every second that she's away from you, because she loves you very much. One month is not enough to forget about someone we love."

"It seems a whole life."

"I know, sweetie, but even it was a whole life, she'd never forget about you."

"Why did she leave me, then, Grandma Fran?"

"Jolie, she had her reasons."

"What is more important than me?" She was about to cry.

Fran took both of Jolie's hands, "Nothing is more important to your Mama than you and Anna. I know it's hard for you to understand but I'll try. A bad man took Anna from here, taking her very far away from here, to another country, and your Mama had no choice but to go and try to bring Anna back home and she couldn't take you with her. She wanted to protect you. That's why she left you with your Dada."

"She left me with Auntie Pen."

"I know, but only because your Dada was working on a case. So, I'm pretty sure that it was the hardest thing she had to do in her life. You have to strong for her and let her know that you understand her reasons and that you love her very much, too."

"I only want to hug Mama."

"I know, baby, I know. You will." Fran was holding her in her arms.

**========== / ==========**

**Ukraine**

FBI and SWAT were in front of the house. They killed all of Ian's men and they were trying to break into the house. Emily was the first one to realize that something was going on, although she wasn't sure about anything.

She was extremely worried about Anna, so she had to escape to check what was going on. She used the same method she used before. She jumped on the kitchen floor, moaning in pain. She knew an army was about to break the place at anytime but she had to make sure that Anna would be safe and that Ian would not use her as a shield.

She entered Anna's bedroom and woke up the girl.

"Mommy?"

"Anna, c'mon, hurry up, c'mon."

As soon as she left the bedroom, with Anna in front of her, she could see, near the mezzanine, the whole BAU Team pointing their guns, Hotch, Morgan, Rossi, JJ, Reid and also people from SWAT. But at the very same time, she felt Ian's hands grabbing her from behind, with a gun against her temple. She felt panic and chills down her spine. She pushed the girl, "Run, Ana, RUNNNNNNNNNNN."

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading. Please, comment!**


	41. Chapter 41

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

"Run, Anna, run."

The little girl wasn't sure what to do. Seeing the whole team there to save them, but at the same time, she knew her mother was still in big danger. She ran to JJ's arms since Derek was point the gun at Doyle, along with the rest of the team.

They knew that Morgan wasn't the right person to make the negotiation, since Ian knew that he was Emily's husband. So, Hotch took the front.

"Drop the gun, Doyle, or this will not going to end well."

"This is not going to end well anyways, Agent."

Meanwhile JJ was trying to take Anna outside, but the girl didn't want to go. She knew Ian wanted to kill Emily. She could see it in his eyes, his cold dark stare look giving Anna chills down her spine.

"If you let her go, you might have a chance but if not, you can be sure you'll get not one but a zillion bullets in your head."

"You can kill me, I don't care. I died already the day my son died."

Hotch and the team knew already they were talking about Declan. They had investigated everything about Emily's past at Interpol. They including knew that Declan was alive, but it was premature to tell this to Doyle.

"Declan was your son, we understand that, but Anna is your daughter as well and she doesn't have to pay for this, for adults' mistakes. She's just an innocent child. She's a part of you and we're sure that you don't want her to lose her Mommy and Daddy at the same time and she'd still have to watch it. It would be too painful for her and you know that."

While Hotch was talking to Doyle, the team and swat were getting in strategic places to take the best shot. The thing was that Doyle had Emily and a gun pointed to her head.

"I know that this is part of your strategy Agent, but I will not fall for your beautiful words. This bitch will pay for what she did to me and my son."

"You can say these are only beautiful words and I can agree with that, but this is the real truth too. Look at her eyes, look how terrified she is, think about the damage you'll do in her life, for the rest of her life if you let this tragedy happen. It is all in your hands and it's all your decision. You know that if she dies, you'd die in the same second too. No one here will spare you, you know that."

"That's a nice try, Agent. But it's far from being enough to save this bitch. I'm going to kill her and I'd die happy after this."

This moment, At this moment, Anna started to cry a little more desperately. She got rid of JJ's arms and ran to hug Ian, "No Daddy, please, please, don't kill my Mom. Don't kill my Mom, please, Daddy, please."

Anna was hugging him and her mother at the same time as Ian was keeping Emily as a shield in front of him.

"Anna, I love you, but please, run, run to JJ, don't do this, please." Emily was begging her to don't stay there."

"No, Mommy, I want to stay with you." She looked at Ian in the eyes, "Daddy, please, don't kill my Mom, but if you do, please kill myself too, I don't want to live without Mommy, I don't want. I love Mommy. If you're going to kill her, please kill me too."

Doyle wasn't counting that he'd have to deal with this. He knew Anna for a few weeks only, but he loved her as a daughter already, as part of him.

"Daddy, I love you, I'm going to visit you always, but please don't kill my Mom. Don't kill my Mommy, please, don't kill my Mommy." She was begging.

In a tiny moment of distraction where Ian was looking at Anna in the eyes, a guy from SWAT was positioned in a place where he could shoot Ian in the head, making him instantly fall down on the floor.

Emily hugged Anna, covering her ears and then her eyes, as if protecting her. Then, she gently held Anna's face, "It's over sweetie, you were so brave and I'm so proud of you, now, go to your father."

Emily realized that Ian Doyle was still on his last breath, she bent down to talk to him, "Ian, listen to me, Declan is alive. I faked those photos. He's alive. He lives in America and he has a wonderful life. He's a wonderful boy."

Ian could hear her. He blinked three more times before dying. JJ was there for Emily. She touched Emily's backs, "It's over, Emily."

Anna ran to hug her mother. Then, still hugging each other, they approached Derek. The little girl left her mother's arms, to hug Derek, "Daddy, I'm sorry I called him Daddy too, but he isn't my Daddy and he never was. The only Daddy I know and love is you. I'm so sorry. I only said that I love him to make him leave Mommy."

Derek was holding her and caressing her head, "I know, sweetheart, you don't need to explain anything to me. I'm so proud how brave you were just now. No one at your age would have been this strong and brave. You're truly a remarkable, smart, strong beautiful loving girl that threw her heart on the line to try and protect to save her mother knowing that you could have been killed, risking everything out of love and I love you so very much Anna and you make me so proud that I do not have enough words to say."

Emily was there right in front of them. She was so in needed of a hug from him too, to feel safe and protected, but the only thing she got was he turning his backs to her, walking to outside the house with Anna. All the team thought that was a little weird, but they only wanted to save Emily and Anna and bring them home. This was the main thing there, and they were glad that they managed to do it. Seeing that Morgan hadn't said a single word to Emily, Hotch felt like he should say something, "Do you need a medic?"

"I just want to go home."

They were in the jet going back to America. Anna was sleeping in Emily's arms, half of her body on the armchair and half on Emily's lap. Derek was sitting in an armchair in front of them, with his earphones.

Emily touched his knee letting him know that she wanted to say something. He temporarily took off only one of the headphones.

"How's Jolie?"

"H-How do you think she is?"

By the tone of his voice, Emily could tell how angry he was.

"She's doesn't eat, or drink, or sleep, she only cries, she's basically acting as if she was a baby again."

"Derek, I-I didn't have a choice…"

He cut her off, "I… don't want to hear a word." He put on the headphone again.

Emily pulled off his headphones, "Listen Derek, I know you are upset with me but I had no choice. I knew what kind of man he was. I knew he'd never harm Anna physically but I know he would do emotionally damage to her and he did, so, I knew I had to find her right away. He was a very dangerous and evil man that would kill you immediately. I had to protect you, Derek, and I had very little choice here, please try to understand."

"You finished?" He was being ironic.

She totally gave up, looking out the window of the plane, caressing Anna on the hair.

**========== / ==========**

**Many hours later, in America**

"Jolie, darling, it's almost lunch time and you still haven't even started your bottle, please."

"Grandma, I still cannot eat or drink anything. My stomach is so full of sick for Mama that it has no room to drink or eat anything. My stomach may need food but I just cannot have the will to swallow anything."

"I know, dear, but you have to try, please, do you want me to warm it up again?"

"No Grandma, I don't feel like drinking this bottle, I just want my su su, and watch cartoons."

Fran was in the kitchen starting to prepare lunch, and Jolie was right there, separated only by the kitchen counter, on the sofa, watching TV with her su su in her mouth.

Suddenly, they heard someone opening the door. Jolie jumped up in fright, surprised with excitement. She wasn't sure who was at the door. She thought it could be Derek without Emily, again. Fran also went to check, drying her hands with the dishcloth.

From the living room, looking at the door, Jolie could see her mother. Derek and Anna were also there, but the only thing Jolie could see was her mother. She was in total shock seeing Emily.

With lots of repressed emotions, she started to cry out loud that her pacifier fell from her mouth. Emily ran and bent down to hug Jolie, poor baby was crying, "It's me, baby, it's really me. I'm not going anywhere anymore, never ever leaving you again. I'm so sorry. I missed you so much. I never thought I'd see you again."

Meanwhile Fran was hugging Anna, "Thank God you're back, darling. We missed you so much here."

"Me too, Grandma."

Emily got up lifting Jolie in her arms. She kissed Fran on the cheek, "Thank God you two are back safe and sound."

"Thanks Fran."

Emily walked to the living room. She needed to sit down. She was in a lot of pain still because of Ian's severe beatings. But before she could sit, Derek said, "I'm going back to the BAU."

"No, Dada, no." Jolie begged still crying. "

"I missed you so much, Daddy, please, don't leave." Anna said.

"Jolie, Anna, I have to work!"

Jolie who was a bit calmer started to cry out loud again.

Emily was kind of pissed at him and she said, "I'm sure Hotch isn't expecting you to come. He and the entire team must be resting now after the long hours trip and so should you, Derek."

"I have some reports to do!" He said emphatically.

"Those reports can wait, Derek! You're using any excuse to get away from me. That is fine but you shouldn't be doing this to your girls. Your daughters don't deserve this from you."

"Okay, I admit, those are excuses. Do I need to mention out loud and clear that I can't stand your presence right now? Do I have to mention all the reasons, too? …In front of them? Are you going to force me to do this?"

Fran went back to the kitchen so ashamed of her son.

"Derek, we shouldn't be talking like this in front of them. You cannot even be here for them, they really need you now. You think I was in Ukraine having a great time and vacation reunion? You don't know the hell I been through Derek. But if you think that you went through a worse time than me and you might need a break, okay, go ahead, I can handle my two babies even with dozens of broken ribs." She sat on the couch with Jolie on her lap and Anna next to her.

"Jolie, I missed you so much, can I give you a hug?" Anna said.

Meanwhile, before Derek could open the exit door, Fran held him by the arm, "Derek, I don't recognize you anymore. Okay, you are angry for Emily for going on her own, I get that. But look at her. I can see that she has been through hell and backwards. She's in a lot of physical pain not to mention the emotional pain. You're going to leave her alone with your two daughters. Your babies need you now so much, too, not only they need their mother but their father, too, so badly, right now. You should eat your pride and stay."

Emily had lots of wounds on the face, dry blood on her clothes. Jolie was so frightened seeing her mama like that, "Are you okay? You look hurt so badly. You'll need doctor, Mama. We should get a doctor to come here now to check on you, Mama."

"That's okay, sweetie, I just need a long and big bath in the hot tub."

"Emily, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I can stay as long as you need me. I want to help you with Jolie and Anna, and help nurse you back to health."

"Thank you so much, Fran."

Morgan had listened to the advices of her mother. He came back to the living room, "You can take a bath. I'll stay with them."

She could be broken, hurt, wounded, physically and emotionally destructed, but she was still the tough cookie she always was, "Are you sure Derek? I don't want to keep you away from your precious reports that you have to do. Your mother agreed to stay a bit to help me that she can watch them while I take a bath. Your mother is showing some human decency and compassion something you obviously didn't learn it from her yet."

Emily was getting up to go to the bathroom, "No, Mama, no, stay with me. I want to go with you, no Mama, please."

"Jolie, I just need a bath right now. There's so much bleeding and wounds on my body and I don't want you to see this, but I'll be okay. I won't take long and I promise I'm not going anywhere anymore. Where can I go from the bathroom, you can stay outside the door waiting for me, okay?"

"Okay, Mama."

**========== / ==========**

She was in the hot tub. She felt so glad to be alive and that her daughters were totally safe now. She was grateful for being home again. The nightmare seemed to be over, but as a profiler she could see that things were very far from getting well.

She was thinking about Ian's death. Would it really have to end the way it ended? There was no way she didn't feel guilty for his death. Why didn't she listen to Clyde when he suggested her to think better about if she really wanted to do that undercover mission that led to all these tragic events? How sad that this had to end tragically. She was thinking of how much she loved him in the beginning when she first met him to think how much things changed and how much he changed too with so much rage and hate in him, but she was glad that she was able to tell him about Declan before he died.

She never really wanted this outcome, to have her daughter see this horrific event of her blood father getting shot and killed in front of her eyes. She was worried about Anna not only because of this but her emotional scars damage that Ian did to her. She was thinking about Jolie and how she'd become too dependent on her, only wanting her.

She shed tears thinking about how cold Derek was acting towards her, he was the person that she'd rely first on emotional support and he didn't even look at her, making her feel more cold and sick. She needed strength for her daughters, but she didn't have any. She also knew that this cold way of Derek would affect her children. She knew this will be devastating for them. She was thinking of way to try and work things out with Derek but he didn't seem even a little willing to do it, especially if her most fear would be confirmed: another Ian's baby on the way. She didn't know. She didn't have any symptom of pregnancy, but she wasn't sure of anything.

Maybe she would have to go through another abortion. She didn't want another Ian's baby. Anna was conceived in love but this baby would be conceived in hate. Also that damn brand he gave to her, this brand would affect her personal life forever, not mentioning the worst than her physical scars were the emotional ones from the rape. She knew that this would never ever heal completely.

Emily was just soaking herself in this hot tub just trying to have this water just wash away her worries as she just took both hands and scoop up much water as she could and let the water wash away her worries and sins if it could but it was impossible and then she try compartmentalization for a bit just soaking in the warm water.

She was brought from her thoughts by the sweet voice of her baby Jolie at the bathroom door, "Mama, are you okay? You're in there like foreva, can I come in now?"

Derek was chasing her, "Jolie, I told you that Mama is taking a bath and she'll come out when she is ready. Mama needs a long bath to try and wash away a lot of dirt and pains."

"But, Dada, I want to help Mama, scrub her back and all over and I can sing the rubber Duckie song to make her feel better too. She always does this for me when she bathes me so I want to return the favor to Mama."

Emily opened the door of the bathroom in her bathrobe and drying her hair with the towel, "I see this little angel wants to help Mama, right?"

"Yes, Mama, I want to help you with the bath."

"I finish the bath already but what about you help me dry my hair. Can you do this?"

"Yay, Mama, I'd love that."

Emily sat on the bed, and Jolie was standing on the bed too, with a big towel drying Emily's hair.

"Aww, thanks so much, sweetie. You aren't only my shadow but a shadow that is like my sweet servant as well doing sweet things for me."

"I want to do everything for you, mama, take good care of you like you do for me all my life, until your wounds and 'boo boos' go away."

"I really appreciate this and I am so sure all my wounds will disappear very soon with your lovely touch."

"Mama, you and I need to eat lots of food now. We both have not eaten well for long time. I think we should go to McDonalds together now. Let's share one big Mac together and two large 'fench fies', and a ten pack of chicka nuggas."

"Hm, we could go, but Grandma Fran is cooking lunch already and I love the way she cook. She would be so sad if we didn't eat her food that she is preparing with so much love, right? So, we'll still have a lot of time to go to McDonalds."

"I don't want Grandma Fran to be sad, too, so, yes we'll eat her food and I think she is good cook but no one cooks as good as you, mama, me think Grandma Fran is second only to you in cooking. I'm going to comb your hair now."

After Jolie finished combing Emily's hair, Emily took her on her lap, "I missed you so much, my little angel. I'm back home for just an hour and I feel so good already, because of you and your love. It feels so good to be so loved by a very special little girl like you, and I love you so very much."

"Mama, I don't want you ever to leave me again even for a second, if I am asleep and you need to go bathroom, please wake me up so I can follow you because when you are gone for a second, and even though I am deeply asleep, I can feel you are not there."

"I'm so sorry you had to go through all this, but I promise I'll never leave you again."

**========== / ==========**

**Hours later**

"Derek, what is going on with you? I know you when you are like this. You have that look that you want to punch a hole in the wall so badly with total rage. You need to get it all together for your family's sake. Please tell me what is troubling you. I know it has to do with Emily and her actions."

"Mother, you know me very well so I won't lie. It has to do with her. I know she suffered. She was almost killed by that monster but this doesn't make her actions less important. She just ran away when she just needed to ask for help, she didn't trust me, Mama, and you know a marriage is mostly based on trust, and it's totally broken now."

"You cannot worry only about your own feelings, Derek, your family is in pieces right now and you acting like this will make things even more worse."

"You know me. I don't know how to hide my feelings."

"Whatever your issue and problem you have with Emily are, you need to have a complete heart to heart talk with her to try and work out all the outstanding issues and problems you have with her because I know how you get, you just get cold, distant and keep to yourself being silent bottling it up all inside then you explode later. You have to work this out or your babies will suffer the most and I know you do not want this to happen."

"No, I don't want this to happen, but I didn't cause all this."

They arrived at the airport. Fran was travelling back to Chicago. Derek waited for the flight to leave. After a big hug, "Mother, thanks for everything."

Fran patted on his face, gently, "I love you, baby, and please remember about what we talked about in the car."

"I will. I love you too, Mama."

"Remember no matter who caused this and who fault you think it is, that does not matter as the only thing that matters the most is you working all this out to prevent your two daughters from hurting a lot with total emotional pain."

**========== / ==========**

Well, since Derek had a lot of frustrations repressed and he didn't want to go back home, he went to the BAU gym, where he could let go a lot of these negative emotions, to punch the punching bag so hard. He was punching and picturing Ian's face, letting go all the anger that he was feeling for him, even though he was dead, then, he was thinking about Emily, "Why Emily why didn't you tell me the whole truth from the beginning? Why did you keep your dirty little secret from me?"

He was feeling less of a man and totally impotent. For any man, this alone would be devastating, but for an alpha male, super ego like him, he was feeling the last of the men on the planet. He was feeling like he wish the ground would swallow him up and he was feeling useless, empty and alone. The only thought that helped him a bit to get out of these morbid thoughts was his two beautiful loving daughters, Anna and Jolie. He was concentrating hard in thinking about the love he has for them and they have for him.

**========== / ==========**

**At home**

Despite the pain, Emily managed to give dinner to the children, talk to them, spend time with them, just being together. Of course, that someone was missing there. Derek had left to take Fran to the airport right after lunch, but it was almost nine at night and he wasn't back yet. The girls were so happy, Jolie because Emily was back, and Anna because she and Emily were safe at home, that they didn't notice how long Derek was taking to come back home. The girls were wearing their pajamas already. They were all in Emily's bedroom.

A little more after nine at night, Derek entered the bedroom. He could hear Jolie saying, "I'm going to sleep with you, Mama, please, please."

"Of course you can, sweetie, but please stop jumping on the bed so I can make it."

"I can't help myself mama. I'm jumping on the bed is like when they say one is jumping for joy. I feel so happy that you are back that I'm jumping for joy on this bed."

"Stop, Jolieeeee, you're making me very dizzy right now."

"Nana you act more like an adult than a little kid, come join me in jumping on this bed and lets have some great kids fun together here."

Derek saw that the girls would sleep there. Well, in these circumstances, it was all that he wanted, "I'm going to sleep on the couch."

Emily stopped for a second to deal with the blankets and pillows, "We always sleep together before, the four of us, what's the problem Derek?"

"I prefer this way." He took a blanket and left.

Emily only watched him leaving. Trying not value too much Derek's attitudes in front of girls, Emily simply ignored.

"And Jolie, sweetie, I can see the pacifiers became your best friends again, right? You had quit long time ago."

"Mama, I know I had quit my _su su_ but when you were gone I was so stressed that I needed my _su su_ so badly and even though you're back to relieve that stress, I still need my _su su_ as this hard to quit cold turkey so suddenly and I'm still hook on my _su su_ and still need it, Mama."

"I can understand that, but very soon we'll start again the quitting process."

"I don't like this process, Mama."

"Yeah, I know, unfortunately life isn't only about the things we like. I know you don't like this process, Jolie, but quitting _su su_ is part of the growing up process and you are becoming a big girl and before you know it, you'll be a teenager and adult, so this process is necessary to start as soon as possible sweetie."

**========== / ===========**

**Hours later**

She was supposed to be happy, sleeping with her two daughters, feeling them so close was an awesome feeling, but something was hard to swallow and she knew that she would have to have a talk with him, before the girls would get hurt.

Both Anna and Jolie were soundly sleeping since both had not sleep well for weeks. She got up from the bed, and put on her satin robe and went downstairs to have a talk with him.

Derek was sitting at the couch. TV was on some game rerun. He was drinking a beer.

"Derek what is going on? I knew something was wrong from the moment I saw you in Ukraine. It had very freezing weather, like minus zillion degrees weather there, but the way you are treating me is much more freezing cold than the Ukraine weather. Yell at me, fight, but let's talk about this, please."

"I don't have the will and energy to talk to you now, Emily, but for you to know, yes, I'm very pissed at you, I just wish you told me every single detail before everything blew up in our faces."

"I can't believe, Derek, that you're worried with you and your pride in that situation."

"I wasn't worried about me. I did my best and I promised our daughter that I'd bring you and Anna home, safely. I'd go to hell to do it, for Anna and you, several times if it takes and I'm grateful that you both are home now, but what you did, just running away like a criminal when you just had to talk to me about what was going on. Maybe if I knew the whole story since the beginning none of this would have happened. I'd be able to protect her from him."

"You don't know him at all, Derek. I couldn't put you at risk."

"Agh-stop! You talk as if I was a baby! Doing this job we do, you know we deal with worst kind of people. People that would make your ex-lover look like an angel."

"He'd kill you, Derek, I know that."

"You know what? You know how? Because I'm your husband, so he thought it was only because of me that you two weren't together? …Jealous of you?"

"Derek, I-I don't recognize you anymore. Where is that sweet lovely guy that I fell in love with? Oh my God, please, try to understand."

"It's me that don't recognize you, or worst: I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Right now, I cannot even look at you. The feelings I have for you are still strong and the same but right now I cannot stand to be in the same room as you because the hurt, anger and feeling of betrayal wounds are so deep that I feel it here." He pointed to his heart. "Those wounds and hurt may never be recovered by me."

"I was trying to protect your life Derek. I couldn't ask you to find Anna because he would kill you and the team, just like he killed my former Interpol team. I knew in my heart that he would never hurt Anna, and I knew he would never kill me, you know why, Derek? …Because he truly loved me. During the time I was kidnapped it'd have been so easy for him to kill me, he had so many opportunities but he didn't, because he loved me for real, in his wrong ways, but he did, but you Derek, he would not hesitate at all, he would kill you without thinking twice."

"It's much more than that, Emily. The trust between us is broken. You never showed me the real you. You even had another name, Lauren, and this person was another life that gave you your first baby. I knew nothing about this life and nothing about you. You would never tell me a single thing which means you never trusted me, and I will tell you why, you never thought I'd do my best to find Anna, because the fact that I adopted her legally is not enough for you to prove that I love her like my own daughter, in your insecure mind, you think I'd do my best only for Jolie and not for Anna, that's why you never trusted me to go after her so you did it alone. I'm glad you're safe, but I'll never forgive you for this. Don't blame me for anything because it was you that didn't think twice to leave us, to leave our baby Jolie crying for you not knowing if she'd see you again. You didn't think twice, Emily, to risk your life, leaving a baby that needed you so much behind."

"I could never leave Anna in the hands of that man, Derek. Jolie was safe with you, this is so unfair what you're saying. I had no choice."

"Shut up! As you said, he'd never hurt his daughter. The team and I could have saved her, but you wanted to find her on your own, you wanted to see him again, you went to meet him willingly, Emily!."

"What are you trying to say, you asshole? Just be a man and say it. Say what you're thinking, Derek!"

As she walked approaching him, she could see that Anna was sitting on a step on the top of the stair. She was holding the bars of the handrail, with her face between them.

"Anna, since when you're there?" Emily was worried of how much she had heard.

The little girl started to cry, "This is all my fault, this is all my fault."

This was like a stab in Emily's heart. She approached Derek and said through gritted teeth, "We had enough of suffering already, Derek. We didn't need this."

She climbed the stairs quickly to go after Anna in her bedroom. Derek went to a bar. He needed to drink.

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading.**


	42. Chapter 42

**I hadn't planned to write this story this longer but it seemed to have its own life. Sorry for the bad grammar. **

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

"Dada, wake up, wake up, Dada, please."

Jolie was bashing Derek, who was sleeping on the sofa. It was still very early in the morning the day following that Emily and Anna were back home.

Derek opened his eyes, closing them again right away since he was seeing everything blurry and felt dizzy.

"Open your eyes, Dada, please, wake up." Jolie held his face.

He tried to open his eyes again, frowning, "Jolie, sweetie, it's still too early. What are you doing out of the bed?"

Jolie grimaced, "Dada, what's this smell? Yuki, your breath smells like pee, Dada."

Derek, then sat, trying to recompose himself. Jolie had no idea that her father was going through one of the worst hangover of his entire life and that the bad breath was a mix of alcoholic drinks from the night before.

"Good morning, sweetie. I'm so sorry." He reached his arms for her.

"I don't feel like kissing or hugging you now, Dada." She turned away from him.

Derek rubbed his head, "Yeah, I can understand that. I promise I'll fix this, okay?"

"Dada, I want you to help me to take breakfast for Mama and Nana in bed. Let's do pancakes and coffee, because Mama likes coffee, and milk for Anna. You help me, Dada?"

Derek absolutely had no mood for this. But he couldn't disappoint Jolie. He took a deep breath, "Of course I'll help you. That's so sweet of you, Princess."

Totally against his wills, he prepared a tray with breakfast for Emily, Anna and Jolie, letting Jolie believe that she was helping a lot.

He was acting mostly like a robot, but Emily was doing her best to show to her daughter how much she was happy.

While the three girls were having breakfast in bed, Derek was taking some clothes from the wardrobe to get ready to work.

"Will you need anything? I'll go take a shower to get ready for work."

Of course she needed. She needed his love, his support, his hug, she needed to go to a doctor, she needed his help to put the girls back to their routine of school, ballet classes, etc. She could barely drive so much pain she was still, but faced with the huge walls that he had build between them, she said only, "No, we'll be fine."

"Okay, if you need anything, you call me."

**========== / ==========**

Derek stayed out for the next four days working on a case. Emily took this time to take the girls to school again and Anna also to the ballet classes. She had to stay for two days with Jolie at school. The little girl was too dependent on her. She couldn't stay away from her mother for anything. She was still too traumatized. This fact made Emily reassess if she really wanted to get back to work after her license period. It wasn't the case that she had a 8-5 day work, no, her job usually used to keep her away for days, and she knew that her two daughters were in needed of her now and would need for a long time still.

She was trying to accept things better now. She was happy that she was safe along with her daughters. Trying to see the good part of everything, she was glad that the girls were so close now and getting along so well, bringing moments so special like this:

"Jojo, you want me to call you 'baby' again? …No, right? So, it's time to quit _su su_ again and definitely. You better do this soon because only babies use _su su_. I'll have to call you baby again."

"I'm no baby and I don't want you to call me baby again, Nana. I'll try to quit my _su sus_ but can you please help and encourage me and support me? I'll need your help to quit this because this will be very hard for me."

"Of course, I'll help you and Mommy will help you, too, right, Mommy?"

Emily smiled as a big yes.

"So, Jojo, I'll start to help you now. When you're need in of your _su su_, think of something that makes you feel safe and happy, like being in Mommy's safe arms, just concentrate on that deeply, think about thoughts like this and everything you feel that you'll need your _su su_, and slowly you won't need your _su su _anymore, little by little, until you don't need it anymore."

Emily was totally amazed hearing Anna saying those things to her little sister, "Did you see this from movie, Anna?"

"No, Mommy, I thought of this on my own."

"I'm so proud of you. This was really awesome!"

"Thanks, Mommy. Also, Jojo, Mommy did a wonderful bedroom pink for us, but you're never there with me. I miss you there. You can't sleep with mama forever."

"I don't want Mama to sleep alone, Nana. Mama needs me to sleep with her, too. I think Mama wants to sleep with me forever like how I want to sleep with her _foeva_ and _eva_ too."

"Jolie, sweetheart, of course I want you to sleep with me, but I also want you to grow up to be strong and independent. I love sleeping with you, but if you want to go to sleep in the room with Anna, to enjoy that beautiful room to you two always have fun and girl's talk in there, I'd be happy, too, and I'll be fine sleeping on my own, too."

"So tonight, you're going to sleep with me in our bedroom, right, Jojo?"

Jolie wasn't sure, "Are you sure, Mama?"

"I'm totally sure, sweetie. Also, in the morning, I'll be missing you so much that I might give you a huge hug, the biggest one you already got."

"Yay, Mama, me too!" She run to hug Emily.

"Thanks very much sweetie, giving me great help with your baby sister."

Anna smiled.

**========== / ==========**

Emily was trying to sleep, thinking of what she'd have to do the next day. She couldn't wait anymore. She had to be sure if she was or not pregnant with Ian's baby. So far, she had only dedicated herself to her daughters and their needs, but she had to do it asap, no matter what would be the result, she would have to know.

She was on bed, still trying to sleep when Derek entered the bedroom. He had been out for days, working. He said nothing as he wasn't sure if Emily was sleeping or not. He sat on the bed to take off his shoes and socks. She'd stay quiet but he smelled the his alcohol breath, "Have you been drinking again, Derek?"

He didn't answer. She sat on the bed, "I bet that you had been drinking, Derek, and that is part of you that I never want Jolie and Anna to see. They don't deserve this. You can hate me and I accept, but please, don't hurt our babies."

"Oh, don't blame me, Ms. Perfection. We were a happy family until you decide to not trust me and run away to you dirty past."

"This is past, Derek, and I can't change this. I only want you to keep clearly in your mind that what's happening between us shouldn't affect how you treat your daughters."

"I'm sad and angry and frustrated, and there is no way I can put a mask on my face and smile all the time. You know what kind of person I am and that I can't hide my feelings, but I love them and I say this all the time."

"I'm very sad and angry too, Derek, but I don't show it in front of them. I give them the full attention and love the same. I don't think this hard to ask the same of you."

"How dare you say that I don't give them the full attention and love the same as you? Emily, you don't know the hell that I've been through when you were gone. How I couldn't get Jolie to eat, drink or sleep. She couldn't do any of this and she couldn't breathe, she had panic crisis without you and I had trouble struggling to get her to do all these things. We were both struggling in quick sand, sinking and trying to stay afloat. Now, you're back we're all trying to adjust to do our best to get back to living. I love my girls so much and give them the same love and attention that I always used to give. Now, if you excuse me, please, let me get some sleep now because I was working for four days without sleep and coming home and being lectured by someone who is a hypocrite thinking her acts are perfect but it is far from that telling me I'm not behaving properly towards my daughters is just too much to take and swallow in this condition I am right now." He took his pillow and went to the living room, to sleep on the couch.

**========== / ==========**

**Next day, at the BAU**

Derek was a person totally different now, always sad and unsmiling. His BAU friends were trying to help him, but they couldn't quite understand or approve what he had been doing. He was at his desk, JJ approached him, "How're things between Emily and you?"

"We're still trying to put pieces together."

At this time, Garcia walked in to deliver a report that Derek had asked to her, "Thanks, baby girl."

"Derek Morgan, I love you, you know that, but you can only call me Baby Girl again only when you fix things with Emily and realize what a thick stubborn pig headed skull you have."

"You all know what, I can't stand this. Everybody's judging me but no one see my side of the things. And what about she did to me?"

"Are you worried about you after all they went through, Derek? It doesn't seem fair."

"JJ, but, I'm not talking about what they went through that I hope that son of bitch be in hell, right now. But she didn't trust me! She ran away, leaving our baby daughter behind. Emily knew that her changes to Jolie again were practically zero and even so she did it, without telling me anything, not even a good-bye. I'm her husband and what consideration she showed me?"

"Derek, all that Emily did was to protect you and her family. That's what she did to you, she protected your life!"

"Pen is right, Derek, you should be so thankful and grateful that Emily wasn't killed as the odds was in favor of her not making this alive. Instead of embracing this gift and miracle, you're wasting precious time with your foolish, stupid male pride and ego."

"This is so unfair, here, you two against me. Reid, are you going to help a fellow male here."

"I agree with the two women."

Rossi was also coming, "Rossi, man?"

"Emily really needs your love and support more than ever and so do your two girls. They all been through a horrible ordeal and right now you're turning your backs on all of them. You need to take a look at yourself in the mirror, Derek. Sorry, you asked my opinion."

Everyone walked away at that point. He was crestfallen, thinking. Penelope then couldn't bear to see him in so much pain. She approached him again, "Derek, I never told you this in detail before, but when Emily left Jolie with me here at the BAU, you should see her face, it was the hardest thing Emily had to do in her entire life. I'm not a profiler but I saw the torment in her eyes and she was totally dying, Derek. A part of her died on that day. She didn't want to leave Jolie at all, but she had no choice." Pen had tears in her eyes remembering that day.

**========== / ==========**

The next day, after Derek went to the BAU, Emily took the girls to school and went to a drugstore to buy a pregnancy test.

After the drugstore, she went to the BAU to talk to Hotch to ask like a two years license without payments.

Back at home, she took courage and did that test. It was the longest five minutes of her entire life. The result, though, couldn't be better: it was negative. She wasn't carrying the evil's baby. She cried in happiness and relief. She was preparing herself already to do another abortion, but it wouldn't be necessary and she was so grateful and happy for this.

Later, she went to pick up Jolie and Anna at school, then, they went to the grocery store to buy things to make a special dinner. She needed to celebrate this even though no one would know the real reason. She was feeling happy despite everything.

The three girls were in the kitchen preparing dinner when Anna kind of dropped a bomb, "Mom, you think my father is in heaven?"

Emily was chopping onions. She paused for a few seconds, thinking of an answer, "Well, Anna, I have no answer for this because he did a lot of unforgivable and criminal acts."

Anna was a little scared and sad with this answer. Emily wasn't a religion person, but she couldn't break Anna's heart. She tried to fix her answer, "It's up to God to decide if he goes to heaven or not. But, one thing that I can tell you and I'm sure of is that he loved you. How can anyone not love such a sweet loving girl like you? Even if his heart was dark and evil, he loved you very much still."

"You think mommy?"

"I'm sure of this Anna. He loved you very much in this little time he stayed with you."

Hearing this talk, Jolie got so confused, "Mama, how come Nana has two daddies and I have only one? _Me_ no understand at all, Mama."

"Well, Jolie, it's like this hmmm umm…. Well, she doesn't have two daddies. She has only one and he's the same as yours. There was a man who kidnapped her, and said he's her father but he isn't, and he never will."

"Mommy is right, Jojo, daddy is my only daddy. That other man was telling a lie, he treated mommy so bad and he held me against my will so all he said was lies, he was sick emotionally thinking he was my daddy, I only have one daddy, the same one as yours."

"Anna is right about all this and it's better we never talk much about this again, let these bad memories in the past, to be forgotten okay, sweeties?"

**========== / ==========**

They were setting the table for dinner when Derek arrived from work. The girls ran to hug him. He hugged them back and kissed them. He looked at Emily, "Hi", Distant and cold.

"Hi." She said back.

He was turning his backs to her, towards the stairs, when she said, "Will have dinner with us?"

Looking at his daughters' faces, smiling, there was no way he could deny, "Sure."

**========== / ==========**

They were sitting at the table and eating and the girls were talking no stop, especially Jolie. For a few minutes, they seemed a perfect family again. Despite her strong temper, if it wasn't for the girls, she had already put Derek to run from there, but she still wanted to save her family. Her love for him was still strong enough to be patient and wait for his anger to pass and things to get better. She noticed that he wasn't eating too much.

"Do you want more salt or something?"

"No, thanks, I don't have too much of an appetite."

"Please, Dada, eat, we three made it. This mashed potatoes is delicious! It's the best of the world!"

"It really is, sweetie, but I'm here because I just want to spend some time with my two little girls."

Emily got the message he sent. She just ignored since she didn't want to ruin the family moment for the girls, but we can only control our emotions until some point.

"Derek, Jolie and Anna made such an effort making this mashed potatoes. It wouldn't kill you to show a little more appreciation of the love and care they did to make this. A little taste wouldn't kill your stomach and speaking of stomachs, I'm not sure if I can stomach much more of your attitude any further."

"Oh, Ms. Perfection is speaking again."

The girls had stopped eating, looking at Emily and Derek while they were arguing.

Emily was so pissed that she couldn't help herself. Although she didn't want to cause a scene in front of the girls, the anger came out of her.

"I'm not perfect, Derek! But I try to do my best for them all the time, to make them feel good and loved and happy and I'm not seeing this in you! You say you love them but every time you're around us it seem a big, huge, enormous sacrifice for you, Derek!"

"The sacrifice is to be around YOU, Emily." He threw the napkin on the table.

Jolie and Anna were children, and it's scientifically proven that children are much more noticeable to the things around them than adults, even if they don't understand the situation clearly, they can feel everything. Of course they'd feel all the tension between their parents that in the past was so nice, kissing each other all the time. Jolie started to cry out loud, making both Derek and Emily stop the verbal war.

"I know why Jolie is crying. She hates this tension that is going on between you two. I feel like crying because of this too. This is not a family dinner! This is like a robot show with no feelings!" Anna threw the fork on the plate and ran to the TV, to try to escape from her reality."

Sobbing, Jolie managed to say, "_Me_ no like what's going on here, Mama, I never seen anything like this between you two before. I want how it used to be, not like this, Mama, Dada, please."

Emily took the girl on her lap, "I know sweetie, I'm so sorry. This will never happen again. Dada and I are going through some difficult adult issues but everything will be alright, I promise."

Derek went to the bedroom. He was too nervous and pissed that he couldn't control. He couldn't stay there any longer to not hurt the girls any bit more.

Emily tried to calm down the girls.

The two children were watching cartoons now. Jolie had her _su su_ in mouth. Emily went to the kitchen to clean the mess. She was thinking that this situation couldn't continue anymore. They'd have to talk and do the best for the girls. If her presence was too unbearable to Derek, so they should start to consider the divorce. She'd have to talk to him now. She climbed the stairs towards to their bedroom. She entered there and she saw Derek with the pregnancy test box on hands that she had left in the garbage can of their bathroom. He was paralyzed. It seemed that he was holding a bomb. He looked at her and frowned, "Did you have sex with him?"

Emily couldn't believe in what she had just heard. It took a few seconds for her to really get it. She opened her mouth, totally horrified. She closed the door of the bedroom as the girls didn't need to see or hear another scene from their parents.

"How dare you, Derek? You're an asshole to ask me this question like that. It wasn't sex and you should have asked me if I was alright and not jump down my throat with accusations! I fought with all my strength and I even kicked him where it hurt the most but he was so much stronger than me and he raped me countless times, Derek, and you have the nerve to come out with these accusations and I can see the disgust on your face asking me if I had sex with him. I've been through so much torment and your attitude, from the first time I saw you in Ukraine to now, and they way you are acting towards our two girls is making me so sick to my stomach and adding too much more torment to me."

Derek was totally speechless and lost. She opened three buttons of her blouse to show him the scars of the brand that Ian gave to her, "Look at this Derek. Does this look like I had fun here having passionate sex with him? That I asked for him to do this horrendous act? Not to mention the constant beatings he gave me and I couldn't do anything because I didn't know where Anna was and how she was. This brand will never ever able to completely go away, but all the emotional scars are the worst that sometimes I think they'll never heal. I'm only alive because of my two babies, Derek, because I know they need me so much, otherwise I'd prefer that he had killed me instead of living with these horrific memories that will chase me for life." She was buttoning the blouse again.

His blood was boiling with rage. He wanted so badly beating Ian Doyle in the face, man to man, but he knew that was impossible. He was trying to put some sense of all of it, "Emily… I-I…"

She cut him off, "What I needed so much from you Derek was some support, care and love, and all I got was the freezing cold treatment ever since you found me in Ukraine to now. How badly I needed a hug from you, but you're acting like a cold empty shell of a robot that I don't recognize anymore, Derek."

He tried to touch her arm, "Don't touch me! I don't want your token hugs and fake concern. I don't want you to hug me out of guilt and obligation. You think this can make up for all the things you should have done and all the things you did and said to me?"

"You have to understand my reasons."

She cut him off again, "No! I will NEVER understand the way you're acting." She crossed her arms and gave a few steps in the bedroom to stay far away as possible from him. She took a deep breath, "Derek, you keep telling me that you can't stand to be in same room as me, but now it's me that can't stand to be one minute more in your presence. How dare you think I wanted to have sex with Ian? …That I enjoyed every single moment of that. It was a total torture and beatings as you saw that just from the brand alone how much I was being abused the worst possibly way physically along with the rapes. It's so disgusting that you think I wanted and enjoy my time there that I wanted to have sex with him. I don't know you anymore, Derek. I can't even look at your face for a while. I know that what I'm going to ask you now will make our daughters to suffer so much, but they'd suffer much more if we continue with this, because of the person you are now, acting like this and arguing all the time. I'm going to ask you to leave now and only come back here once you bring back the compassionate loving understanding man that I fell in love with, but if you choose to continue to act like this asshole robot that I don't know, please you don't need to come back ever again."

She was leaving the bedroom.

"Are you saying that you want to break up?"

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading. Please, leave a comment. Let me know how you want me to end this story.**


	43. Chapter 43

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

"Are you saying that you want to break up?"

"I don't know. Right now, I don't even have an answer for this. The only thing I know is that we can't stay in the same space anymore and continue like this and hurt our daughter's feelings like that. They don't deserve this, Derek, especially from their parents that were supposed to only show love and friendship and support to each other and to them."

"What are we going to do?"

"I'll give you some time for you to pack some of your things, and I'll ask you to stay away from us for a bit, Derek, and only come back home when and '**if'** you are really willingly to be still married." She emphasized the 'if'.

Derek was speechless. He wasn't expecting this, "A-are you serious?"

She looked at him like, 'really?'

"Emily, of course I want to continue to be married. I love you. It's our family we are talking about here."

She hesitated, bit her lips, and faced him, "Are you sure, Derek? …Because it didn't seem like this right now."

"I hated seeing our two babies getting so hurt by all this. I know things are tough for us now but I just wanted to tell you that I still love you very much. That has not changed even though things have changed in a negative way because of me and I'm so very sorry."

"I do understand you. I have a brand on my body left by that evil man, and I know it must be hard for you to look at me and see this brand and don't think about him, but what hurt me most is that you are blaming myself for all this. I'd never expect this from you Derek. I still love you and I think I'll always do, but this love right now is broken, it is in pieces. We have lots of things that need to be fixed, so it's better we both take a break from each other to figure out how to fix these things for the sake of our daughters."

"It's all that I want, Emily."

"So you need to get your head together and I need to get all my pieces back together again."

She went downstairs to finish cleaning the kitchen from dinner, while the girls were watching TV. But they couldn't pay attention to the cartoons with so many things happening around them.

"Mommy, will you guys stop fighting now? I feel like I want to cry all the time."

"Anna, we're trying to fix things and I promise this will get better."

"Mama, _me_ no like you and Dada fighting all the time. This makes me think you don't like each other anymore."

"This is all my fault, Jolie."

"No, Anna, this is not your fault, please, how many times I will have to say this?! This is NOT your fault! This is between your father and me and this has nothing to do with you. Adults always have issues and we are having some issues now that are so very difficult to handle."

At this moment, Derek showed up there in the living room and put a bag full of clothes on the floor.

"Daddy, where are you going? You just came from a case."

"Anna, Jolie, I have to talk to you two."

"No**." **Anna said, pouting, already predicting what he'd say.

Derek sat on the couch with the girls, "Jolie, Anna, I'm so sorry but you two know that your Mommy and I are having some adult problems. We're having some difficulties adjusting to things now, but that doesn't mean that we don't love each other anymore, we do, and we love you two very much and my love for you two and her will never ever change, I promise this. I know this is hard to understand but I'll be moving out for a while but I'll always come here to see you girls. We'll spend tons of time together and still have so much fun together like always. I know this is so very difficult to understand and I'm very sorry if this is hurting you and this so hard for me too. Just remember that Mommy and I love you both so very much and we're doing this to try to fix things and don't hurt you anymore. I'm only doing this because I know that it isn't nice for you two to be part of our fights and arguments. This isn't fair to you two."

Jolie and Anna bawled out loud.

"No, Daddy, please, stay."

"Don't leave us."

They were tearing up and angry.

"I know this is all my fault."

"No, Anna, it isn't!"

"Yes, it is! You are angry at Mommy because she went after me! So, it's my fault! She should have left me with that man who said was my father!"

"No, Anna, you're so wrong. Don't say that because your mommy had to find you and I needed to find you, too. We all love you and need you, Anna. This isn't your fault. This is between me and your mommy. We have to work out things that have nothing to do with your actions or what you did. You were brave and wonderful, Anna, and I'm so proud of you for this."

Emily was standing there, arms crossed, trying to be strong for her daughters, but she was breaking inside seeing the man she loved, the love of her life going away. Jolie ran to get her pacifiers, and ran to Emily's arms, to feel a bit safer. Emily lifted her and Jolie laid on her shoulder.

"Are you guys getting the divorce?" Anna was still on the sofa, talking to Derek, trying to understand the situation, searching for answers to all this.

Derek hesitated. He looked at Emily before answering, "No, Anna. We just need some time apart to think to try to fix things on another manner since together it isn't working. We adults made this mess and we need to work and fix this in the best way possible without you two getting hurt anymore deeper than you two already have."

"I have a friend at school that her father moved away and when she thought he'd come back to her mother, he found another woman." Anna was crying now.

"There will be no other woman, Anna, I promise. There's no way that this can happen. Your mother is the only one for me in my heart and the only other two ladies that captured my heart as well is you and your sister, only. Please, don't worry about things like this."

He got up from the couch, "Now, give me a hug?"

Anna got up too, and hugged him tightly, "Daddy, please, come back soon. Fix everything in your mind and come back to us. I'm going to miss you so much, Daddy." She was crying.

Emily was doing her super, hyper, mega, ultra effort to not break down and cry too.

Derek broke the hug and held Anna's hands, "I'm going to miss you too, but not too much, you know why?"

She shook her head as a 'no'.

"Because I won't even have time for this... I'll be here all the time to see you and Jolie. I promise." He kissed her.

Jolie was on Emily's arms, lying on her shoulder still. Derek then had to approach Emily to say good bye to her, "And you my little Princess, won't you give me a hug?"

Jolie turned her back to him and pout.

"Jolie, that's not nice. Please give your Dada a hug."

Still in Emily's arms, Jolie reached out her little arms to her father. During the hug, Emily and Derek shared a look, cut by her right away. For both of them it seemed that it was a life of other people. They never imagined having to reach this point.

He kissed Jolie on the cheek and took his bag to leave. Anna hugged her mother, even though Emily had Jolie in her arms. The three women only watched when he left with an awkward," Bye."

"Bye, Daddy." Only Anna replied, even though her voice was cracking.

"Mommy, do you think Daddy will ever come back home anytime soon to us? I just wish this was all a bad dream and I'd wake up to find that everything is like before."

"Anna, I don't know. Just be rest assured that your Daddy and I will do our very best to work things out and to think about you two girls first in any decision we come up with. Now, I'm going to read to my two little Princesses here a very beautiful bedtime story."

The two girls didn't show too much excitement.

"…and also... there is something that I want to talk to you two about."

They looked at Emily, they were curious.

"…it's a proposal that I want to make."

The girls were very curious now. It was very smart of Emily to come up with this idea now. She needed to change the focus of the last scene, the girls seeing their Daddy leaving.

"What is it, Mommy?" They asked almost at the same time.

"Well, the year is almost ending now and you two went through so much and had such hard time, but how you were so brave to face everything, I want to do something for you both, that I think you might will like very much."

The two girls were excited now, looking at Emily, waiting for her to continue.

"Which is the place you must want to go for vacations?"

Anna and Jolie looked at each other with a big smile and shining eyes and then they looked at Emily, and said at the same time, out loud: "DISNEY!"

Emily smiled, "Now, why am I not surprised by this answer from the two of you? Jolie has every item of Minnie that was ever sold and I know you Anna love all the characters there too and also Disney has so many ballerinas stuff there."

"Mommy, thank you so much." Anna hugged her mother tightly, while Jolie was jumping and dancing on the sofa nonstop.

Still hugging Anna tightly, Emily kissed her head, "You deserve this, Anna. You went through such horrible things and you were so brave. I can say that you saved my life."

"I'd do it all again, Mommy. I love you."

"I love you too. I couldn't be happier with you two in my life."

"When are we going?"

"We still have to settle the date. I'm going to do this soon. You two still have classes before vacations."

**========== / ==========**

**BAU**

It was a Friday. The team had been working on different cases for a long time, so Hotch had given the rest of the day to them and the whole weekend.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

She took a deep breath.

"How are the girls?"

"Well, I'm doing my best to keep them happy and strong. Life goes on, Derek."

"I'm sorry I didn't show up for a long time. We've been working without a break."

"You don't need to say I'm sorry to me, but to them. They're missing their father, Derek."

"I hope you tell them I was working."

"I do, Derek! But this just doesn't make them feel better. This just doesn't make them for wanting you to read bedtime stories to them any less. They're too young to understand. Why do you think I quit my job that I loved very much? …Because I love them much more."

"I don't want to discuss this with you, okay?! I'm not going to stay here listening to you saying that I don't love them the same way as you. I called to know if it's okay with you if I go to pick them up at school today to spend the weekend."

"Since I think it'll be okay with them, I won't oppose this."

"Could you pack some of their clothes so I can pass by to pick them up?"

**========== / ==========**

In twenty minutes Derek was there to pick Anna's and Jolie things. Emily had prepared two bags with some clothes to them, pajamas and everything that they'd need.

"For how long are you staying in a hotel, Derek? You know it isn't good for them to stay in Hotels. You need a home to take them to, not at hotels."

"I know. I've been working too much, Emily. I don't have time for this. Also, I still believe that we somehow are going to fix things. I don't want a new home, when I have one already."

"Speaking of it, I have all these bills and I'm not working anymore as you know. I could pay all of them but I might need some help to cover some of these bills and expenses, most of these expenses are Jolie's and Anna needs."

Derek took the bills on his hands.

"You know they go to expensive school and Anna's ballet classes, you know it's the best ballet school of the country so it's very expensive, and I can't take this from her, not after all that she went through. I want to save my money for some emergency and also I'm thinking about taking them to Disney on vacation."

"That's a great idea, Emily. They'd love! They really deserve this."

Derek was waiting for an invitation to join the trip, but it didn't come.

"Yes, I know. I'm going to do this for them, but I'm going need your help with the bills."

"Of course, but this isn't help, this is my obligation as father. Is there something else you need?"

"Just be patient with them. They're still recovering, and no pizzas or any junk addictive food, please."

"You know that I don't have a way to cook in a hotel."

"But there're lots of good restaurants out there. And anything, please call me. Jolie might ask about me, please, be patient with her, Derek."

"You don't have to ask me this."

She took a deep breath, "Hmm, okay."

She followed him to the door. Before going, they shared a look and there really was so much of their love still there. Derek so wanted to kiss her and take her to the bed to love her the way she deserved. But he knew that he had screwed everything up and there would be a long road to make the way back to her heart. She cut the eyes contact, holding the handle of the door.

"Bye."

"Bye, Derek."

He left taking Anna's and Jolie things, a lot of bills to pay and some hope in his heart.

**========== / ==========**

He was parked in front of the school waiting when he saw a young woman bringing Jolie and as he didn't recognize this teacher, he approached them, "Hey, my little Princess, look at you. Two weeks only and how you look so big!" Derek opened a big smile lifting Jolie.

But Jolie wasn't that happy. Actually, she was a little shocked, "Dada, where's Mama?"

"Well, Mama is home! I hope it's okay with you that your Dada is coming to pick you up."

"Mama didn't tell me about this that you coming for me. Did she leave me again? Please, Dada, tell me that this isn't happening again…" She was in panic, basically.

Of course that Jolie was missing her father as much as her mother, but her trauma with Emily leaving her at the BAU and Emily all of sudden not being there to pick her up was too much for her. This fact cancelled out her great feeling of seeing her father after a long time. The trauma resurfaced and this took place ahead of the happiness that she would normally feel seeing her father.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but if your own daughter is acting like this towards you, it is like she is afraid of you? This behavior is typical of a physically or emotionally abused child. I'm afraid I cannot let her go."

This new teacher of Jolie had never seen Derek. She only knew Emily. To worsen the situation the little girl started to cry. She was still too traumatized thinking about that awful day at BAU.

"How dare you asking me this? I know you don't know me well and you're only doing your job, but I can assure you that I'd never hurt my daughter physically or emotionally. I'm an FBI agent who works so hard to put away monsters like this in prison forever. Right now, Jolie is having issues missing her mother as we're having some difficult times. I don't want to go in further details right now as it is private and personal matter."

"Jolie, do you want to go with your Dada?"

"Yes, _me_ want to, because Dada will take me to my Mama now and I'm crying because _me_ miss mama so much as _me_ expected to see her picking me up and not Dada. I'm not afraid of Dada. I love my Dada so much. He is so nice and sweet to me."

"I'm very sorry, Sir. Please, accept my apologies. I totally read the whole situation wrong and I care so much about all my students. I wanted to make sure they'll be okay."

"I totally understand. I'd react and think the same thing in your shoes. It makes me feel secure and safe that you care so much about all your students including my daughter."

Derek got Jolie and put her in her special seat in the car with the safety seat belt. He was driving to pick up Anna at her school.

"This is too much, Dada, that the only thing I can think is that Mama had to go and leave me again."

"No, Jolie, Mama is home. It is that I miss you and Anna so much that I wanted to surprise you and spend the weekend with you two and have a lot of fun together like we always did."

"Dada, _me_ want to spend time with you like before but if mama not coming with us on weekend _me_ rather not go and stay with mama coz _me_ need mama all time now, Dada. So, please ask Mama to come with us all together as I want to spend time like before with you and Mama at same time, Dada."

"Jolie, Mama is not coming, okay! She'll stay at home, resting a bit."

"No, Dada, _me_ need Mama. Take _me_ to Mama, now, Dada, please." She started to cry.

"Jolie, look, sweetie, there is no need to cry, okay, I'm your father. I'm sad you're acting this way. I miss you so much. I prepared a wonderful weekend for the three of us."

"Dada, I love you but I need Mama every second. I feel like I can't breathe without Mama. Please, Dada, I have to be with Mama all the time."

She started to cry hard, "I want my _su su_, I want my _su su_." She was sobbing.

"Okay, okay, Jolie, I'll take you to Mama. I just need to pick up Anna first."

He parked in front of Anna's school and got out of the car so Anna could see him from afar since she was expecting for Emily to be there. As soon as Anna saw Derek, her reaction was totally different, she ran to hug him. "Daddy, Daddy!"

"Hey, Princess." Derek hugged her, lifting her up a bit.

"I missed you so much, Daddy."

"I know. Me too, Princess, it is that I got so busy at work."

"I know, Daddy."

"I prepared a wonderful weekend for us, but it looks like we're going to do it all alone. Jolie doesn't want to go."

They got in the car, Anna in the backseat near Jolie. As her little sister was still shedding tears, Anna held her hand.

"Nana, please, take out my _su su_ from my backpack for me now."

"We're almost home now and we'll see Mommy soon. Just take my hand and hold it tight. You just need some warmth and security, try my hand, it feels better than your _su su_, I promise."

**========== / ==========**

Emily was a bit shocked seeing them at home so soon. She was expecting them in two days only. She opened the door to them and Jolie flied into Emily's arms holding her so tight, "I was so scared; I thought you left me again, Mama."

"I'm so sorry, sweetie that you were scared and you thought the worse but you have to stop thinking like that. I promise you that I'll never leave you again, you can be sure of this. I know you miss your Dada so much as he was busy with work for a long time. He missed you so much too and he wanted to surprise you, but I'm so sorry that this surprise backfired on us and made you worry like that."

"Mama, you didn't tell me about this. I want to stay with you and Dada. I don't want to leave you here Mama. I want to stay with you."

"I know, baby, I know, I'm here."

Emily and Derek shared a look. They knew that Jolie wouldn't go anywhere without Emily and they'd have to deal with this, but not now, "Anna would you like to spend time with your Daddy?"

"Look, Mommy, I don't want to go anywhere and I think it's time for you and Daddy to fix things because this is too similar to a lot of my friends at school that their parents are divorced and the children have to stay with fathers on weekend, and they always end up having new boyfriends or girlfriends, and I'll never want this!" She ran to her bedroom. Derek went after her.

Derek entered the bedroom, and Anna was crying on her stomach in bed. Derek touched her backs.

"Anna, sweetness, I can assure you that this will never happen. I will never have anyone else in my heart but your Mommy. I promise."

She turned to look at him, sitting on the bed, "So, why you guys just cannot fix things, then? And we all stay together like before?"

"We're trying, but this isn't easy. This is exactly the reason why I left. Your mother and I just need a break to put our heads together after all that happened. We're going to find a way to make things work for us again."

"Daddy, Mommy suffered so much in the hands of my biological father. I don't know the exact details what he was doing to her but I can imagine and assume he was beating her as I always see the wounds and blood all over her hands and other parts of her body. I know you're upset that Mommy didn't tell you and the team but she was so afraid that he'd kill you and your team. Mommy loves you so much that she wanted to protect you from him, Daddy. Please try to understand this. Mommy did this for you and I know you're angry still but please Daddy you have to come back to us." She hugged him, sobbing. Derek also has tears in his eyes, "Mommy, Jolie and I all need you so much now."

"Anna, I miss being with you, Jolie and your Mommy so much that I want it to be the same like before. I promise I'll do my best to make sure our family is happy again but I have to be honest with you that it might take some time and I don't know the outcome but your mommy and I will do our very best to make sure you and Jolie will not be hurt by all this."

"We're already hurt, Daddy." She was still sobbing.

Derek wiped her tears from her face, "I know and I'm so sorry, this is last thing your Mommy and I ever wanted. We'll do our best now to make sure no more severe hurt is caused by our actions now. Look at my eyes, I promise you that I'll do everything so your mother can forgive me and I can come back home. Can I count on you for this?"

She nodded. Derek hugged her again, "Good, sweetie."

"I miss you so much, Anna, I hope you're able to spend the weekend with me, even though Jolie will not be joining us, I need to spend time with one of my precious daughters."

"You think Mommy will be alright?"

"I think she will. But we can call her to say Good night, and good morning when you wake up, how does that sound?"

"That sounds perfect, Daddy."

"So let's go because it is almost night, and it's getting so dark outside."

Downstairs, Anna gave Emily and Jolie a big hug and they left.

**========== / ==========**

**During the weekend, Saturday afternoon**

Emily was in the laundry room. Jolie was watching cartoons, but Emily wasn't there with her for a long time in her mind now. So she went to look for Emily in the laundry room.

She caught Emily at the very moment that Emily was about to put all the teddy bears in the washing machine. Jolie was totally in shock, paralyzed,

"Mama, mama, mama, what are you doing?"

"I'm washing your Teddies, Jolie. I see dirt and dust on them. That isn't good and healthy for you. You can get sick from that, Jolie. You sleep with them they need to be clean so you can hug them."

"No, Mama, no Mama, they're going to die!" She pulled the Teddy bears from Emily hands.

"Sweetie, your Teddies aren't humans. They don't have feelings, they cannot die. The machine will just clean them."

"Not true, Mama. My Teddies bears have feelings, they can feel my love when I hug them and they tell me how they feel all the time, they talk to me, really, Mama." Jolie was feeling a little desperate now.

Emily wasn't expecting all this, "Jolie, trust me, your Teddies cannot feel a thing, I promise they will be okay and look good as new after they are washed."

The little girl started to cry, "No, Mama, please, their eyes are going to hurt because of the soap, like when my eyes hurt with that shampoo."

Emily realized she was breaking Jolie's Faith, that she could talk to the Teddy bears and they could hear. Then, she bent down to talk to the little girl, "You know what? You're totally right, sweetie. That isn't the correct way to wash them. So, what about we give them a bath when I'm bathing you? So you can give them a bath while I'm bathing you. They need a bath just like you, me and everyone needs one."

"That's super idea, Mama, me love this ideas. Mama, my teddies can hear and understand everything and I know my teddies would love your singing too, you can sing the rubber duckie song for them or we can make a new song like, Teddy Bears, your the one, having some clean fun."

Emily smiled and wiped Jolie's tears and kissed her on the cheek. Jolie left the laundry room with all the teddy bears in her arms.

**========== / ==========**

**Few weeks later**

It was Emily's Birthday. She was at home with the two little girls, in the evening, when the whole BAU team made a surprise for her. All of them showed up bringing something to eat, cake, and a gift for her. The first thing she noticed was that Derek wasn't there. She didn't want to valorize this too much to not arouse her children's attention. But of course that they noticed that their father wasn't there, even though Henry and Jack were there to play with them and Penelope was trying to distract them too. Nothing worked.

"Mama, please dial Dada cell phone now I want to talk to him."

"No, sweetie, we have our friends here. We can't call Daddy now, okay?"

Both Jolie and Anna waited for Emily to be distracted before going to some private place to call Derek. Anna said angrily to her father, "Daddy, how could you? You made Mommy's birthday not a happy birthday but a very sad birthday not showing up here".

"Anna, sweetie, it's complicated. There are things that children don't understand."

"The only thing I cannot understand, Daddy, is your terrible behavior. Everyone is here for Mommy's party and the most important person she wants to be here is you and you are not!"

"Anna, I'll talk to your mother about this, I promise."

"You keep making promises but I never see anything coming true. Why aren't you here? Without you here this is not a very happy birthday for Mommy."

Jolie was stomping her feet on the ground in total anger.

"Jolie is here too and she is so upset at you too, Daddy."

"Dada _no love_ any of us anymore. It's Mama's birthday and he doesn't show up, this means he doesn't care about Mama and us too."

"Did you hear what she said, Daddy?"

Derek was feeling like a number one heel now. Emily finally found them. She rushed to grab the phone from them, saying, "You two have to respect your father's choices and if he doesn't want to be here right now, he has his reasons and we have to respect."

"Derek, I'm so sorry they called you. I'm going to talk to them. I apologize for them, good night." She hung up the phone.

"Anna, Jolie, that's not nice disturbing your father like this."

"This wasn't very nice of Daddy not showing up on your special day, Mommy."

"But it is his choice and we have to respect it. The main thing to me is that you two who are my most precious jewels and treasures in the entire universe are here with me, so let's have fun with our friends that are here and when your Daddy feels like being here, he'll come."

"Didn't you always tell us, Mommy, that when something is bothering us we have to tell you and Daddy? So, that's what we are doing now, we're telling Daddy that this is troubling and bothering us."

"Yes, I know but now you have to understand he has his life separate from us now, at least for a while, it doesn't mean he loves you two any less."

JJ appeared at the door, "Emily, your cell phone was ringing and I answered it, it's Fran."

"Oh, thank you, JJ. Please, take these two to play with the boys while I talk to her."

"Hi, Fran, thanks for calling, it was really nice of you."

"The girls Sarah and Desi are sending love and kisses for your birthday."

"Say thank you to them and send my love to them as well."

Fran was a little embarrassed to ask if Derek was there, "So, how are the girls?"

"They are really good, thanks, Fran. Day by day things are starting to get normal again."

"Hope my son is there with his family."

Emily hesitated, "No, he isn't here right now."

"Derek really loves you Emily. Please don't give up hope on him."

Emily was speechless. She just didn't know what to say. Realizing this, Fran kept talking, "I know my son not only loves and adores you still but he feels the same way about his two daughters. He knows all this is affecting them in a sad and negative way. He is miserable without you, too, so please don't close this chapter of your life just yet and open up to future possibilities of things becoming much better and they way you wish for."

"I wish I could believe this, Fran, but thanks again for the support and for the call."

**========== / ==========**

She had just finished cleaning up all the mess after the party. It was almost midnight. The two girls were upstairs. They were soundly sleeping. But she didn't feel like sleeping anytime soon, even though she was super tired. She poured a glass of wine for herself, and stood there in the living room just seeing the view holding that glass of wine. It was impossible not to think about him.

Wishing that she had never fall in love with him wasn't an option, because she'd never have Jolie, then.

She never believed that she'd have a family, much less that it'd be with someone she truly loved and trusted and believed that she'd spend the rest of her life with him. For some time, she truly believed that love would always be there and it really was, but she couldn't understand what the hell had happened. Why he couldn't just swallow his pride? Was his male pride bigger than the love he felt for her? No, she refused to believe in this.

She was wondering about what would have happened if she had did anything differently, like telling him everything from start and getting him and the team to help to find Anna. No, that was never an option for her. She had to protect him from Ian. She knew that she'd do exactly the same thing over and over again because she knew that if she told Derek, he might not be alive now. Her thoughts were really dancing in her mind like watching a movie of her life.

It was raining outside and she was wondering where he was now. She knew that he was just as restless as her, or maybe more. She had no idea that he was right there. As soon as she heard someone knocking on the door, she knew that it was him. Before opening the door, she could feel his presence. She opened the door for him and he wasn't 'alone'. He was wet from the rain. They looked at each other and so much was said through this look.

"Can I come in?"

**========== / ==========**

**Hi guys, I want to thank you so much for the comments and I'd like to say that I agree with the most of you.**

**Someone said that Derek wouldn't act like that, but, I wrote this based on the show: if he was so upset at Emily for going after Doyle and having slept with him (In the past!), and he wasn't even her boyfriend, imagine if he was her husband? We all know that Derek said, "Come on, man, we don't know that. All we do know is that she slept with a terrorist for a profile. And instead of coming clean with us about her dirty laundry, she just ran with it!"**

**Also, I know this is sad and frustrating to read all of them with their hearts broken but please be patient and give me your opinions. Thank you!**


	44. Chapter 44

**Guys, I'm finally back after two months. Lots of things happened during this time. I wish you all a wonderful 2015! Health, love, peace of mind and God might make true all wishes from your heart.**

**========== / ==========**

**I own nothing**

**========== / ==========**

With a lonely red rose in hands, he asked permission to enter in that place that in a very few time ago was his own home.

"Can I come in?"

More than just realizing how lost he was, she could feel it. Even though she knew that the rose was for her, she had her pride, "The girls are sleeping." She tried to close the door but he stopped her from closing it. She rolled her eyes, "It's a little late, don't you think?"

Pretending he had not realized the ambiguity of her question, "It isn't midnight yet. It's still your birthday. Please, Emily, let me in."

Contradicted, she snorted, but finally, she opened the door for him, "Okay, Derek, I don't know what you're doing here, the only thing I'm sure is that instead of fixing things, you're making everything even worst. You should have seen the sadness and the disappointment on our daughters' faces when you didn't show up."

"I'm so sorry, Emily."

"This isn't about me. I don't care if you didn't show up for my birthday party but what about our two girls! They expected their father would be here at least for them and you knew you didn't come would purposely break their hearts Derek. I know you didn't want to hurt them but you shattered their hearts in pieces."

"I'm so sorry about all this."

"Stop saying 'I'm sorry' and show it with your actions. The way you used to be. The guy I fell in love with. For theirs sake, please."

"I know I have no good excuse for what I did today. I know I hurt you all so much, Emily, but I know I'm also hurting myself letting my foolish pride and ego to destroy everything that is so important to my life."

They were in the opposite side of the living room. She had her arms crossed. He approached her and offered the rose, "Happy birthday." She looked at the rose for a while, then at his face. Still with her arms crossed, avoiding eye contact she wanted to say, 'shove it down your blank, but she took a deep breath and said only, "Thanks."

Realizing that she wouldn't pick up the flower, he put it on the coffee table and approached her even more, touching her hands catching her totally by surprise. She wasn't expecting that he would do it. She couldn't remember the last time he had touched her. She was so missing his touch and his hug that she was paralyzed. She couldn't even stop him and she didn't even try.

The simple touch was breaking all barriers, filling all the gaps, until it end up into a tight hug, and the silence became more than suitable for a kiss. Slowly, his lips touched her for a little peck on mouth, a little, sweet tender kiss. But he wanted more, he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, but she cut it before it could happen, "Derek, it's getting late. I need to go before Jolie wakes up. She can sense when I'm not there even in milliseconds, and then she cries for me, thinking I left her again. You should go now."

"Let me stay? I'll sleep on the sofa."

She bit her lips, "I don't think this is a good idea, Derek, because the girls will be so confuse and might assume you are back to stay forever and this will further shatter their heart in more pieces and I know you don't want this and this is last thing we need now."

"Emily, but we need to talk. I never walked away. You ask me to go (He emphasized the 'you').

"Don't put this on my backs, Derek. You forced me to do it. Because of the way you were treating me. Doyle left me a lot of physical and emotional scars. He reduced to me a human wreck, he humiliated me in a way that you cannot even imagine, and I was so angry, sad, devastated and when I came home what did I find? Only hatred and none support! So, don't blame me for what happened. I know we need to talk, but right now, I also need more time and space from you other to realize if I still want to share the same space with you."

"Just try to understand my side."

"NO! I will never understand your jerk, selfish, dumb, super, master male ego ways, Derek.

He left.

**========== / ==========**

**A few months later**

"_Mama, me no understand. Tis su su someting so stwange_." (Mommy, I don't understand. This susu, there's something so strange.)

Emily tried not to laugh. She had sabotaged Jolie's pacifier dipping them in vinegar, "What is it sweetie?"

"_Me no like su su taste anymoe, Mama." _(I don't like the way susu taste anymore.)

"Jolie, sweetie, does that mean you will try to quit them now?"

"_Nah, Mama, just buy moe new ones much moe new ones. Me tink they're just too old and the bad air is in them, as soon as they taste bad just buy me many moe new ones_." ("No, Mama, just buy more new ones much more new ones. I think they're just too old and the bad air is in them, as soon as they taste bad just buy me many more new ones.")

Emily's plan hadn't work as planned.

"Jojo, at school, no one at your age are on su sus anymore." Anna was trying to help Emily.

"So, I'm going to quit school too."

Emily bent down to talk to her, "Jolie, it's time to try again to quit your su sus and be a big girl. I'm here to help you."

"No, mama, me need my su sus, Dada still not here with us, I'm so stressed still…"

"You're using this as an excuse, Jolie. This is not nice of you."

Emily was thinking, '_C'mon Emily, she has Derek Morgan STUBBORN genes. Do you really think it would be that easy? This is a mini carbon copy of her father.'_

At that moment, someone rang the bell. Emily went to check. She opened the door and it was Penelope.

"I'm sorry for not calling before coming."

"Oh, no problem, Pen, you're always welcome, c'mon inside."

Without making any movement, "Are the girls downstairs?"

Emily noticed how weird Garcia was acting, she frowned before answering, "Yes, they are here. I was starting dinner."

"So, I prefer to talk here."

Emily froze and felt a uncomfortable chill all over her body. Her profiler skills were all over the place still. She already knew what was coming, "What happened to Derek?"

"He's in the hospital."

"Oh, God, how serious?"

"He's out of danger, don't worry. But I thought you'd like to know."

"Yes, sure."

"And I also thought that you would want to check on him."

Emily was thoughtful, "I do, but… the girls…"

"I'm here for this. I'll take care of them."

========== / ==========

**At the hospital**

He was taking some medicine through the serum in the vein, thinking about his girls. The shot he took from the serial killer from the last case was almost fatal. He would really lose the people who he loved the most for real. This made him realize a lot of things and how wrong he had been acting. How this could have turned out the other way, worst case scenario and how he would have regretted and not have chance to make things up to Emily and his two daughters. It was when she entered the bedroom. For a moment he thought that it could be a trick of his own imagination, but then she approached him.

"Hi."

"Hey."

"How're you feeling?"

"This was nothing. Garcia shouldn't have bothered you."

"I'm not bothered. I worry about you, Derek."

She touched his arm. He looked at her.

"Can we talk now?"

"Garcia told me you just came from ten hours of surgery. You need to rest. I just came because the girls would never forgive me if I didn't make sure their father is okay."

"Please, Emily. I need this. I need to take this off of my chest. This is consuming me inside. When I was in the ambulance, right before I coded, more than wishing another chance of life to see my girls growing up, I wished I could have a chance to really apologize to you, and now, you're here and I don't want let it pass."

"You need to rest, Derek. I didn't come here for this."

"Please, I'm okay to talk."

"There's no need to say anything, Derek."

"I need this."

Although she was uncomfortable here, she let him talk.

"I know it was so stupid and wrong of me to think you were having consenting sex with him. It was my stupid pride because…I was petrified that part of you was always in love with him. I should have realized that you were only in love with me and that your love for him was all gone, and any sex between you two it could only be forced by him, he was so stronger than you and you were at his complete mercy, because of Anna and I don't blame you for this. I'm so sorry, Emily, for ever doubting you. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I'm only human like the rest of us that makes stupid mistakes. Please, I'm begging you as I'm so miserable without you and our family. I know you and our daughters are equally miserable and we must try to put our family back together again."

"Derek, I was in pieces. I wasn't emotionally prepared to give all the love and support that our daughters were in need of and I had to deal with all this completely alone."

"I can only hope that you can forgive me, Emily."

"You think we still could have a future with us after everything that happened?"

"I'd like to think that yes. At least we could try."

"Trying' means if it doesn't work, we have two other innocent people involved and we don't want to play with their feelings."

"You're right. We cannot play with their feelings so we have to really work this out, not only for them but for ourselves as well. We must never argue in front of them like we did before as this will leave them emotional scars for life and I know most of that was my fault just like at the mall."

"The girls talk about that scene at the mall all the time. It was only a few weeks ago, Derek, right before Christmas. You were so determined with the divorce thing and now this. So, you have to be really sure of what you really want."

**========== / ==========**

**FLASHBACK – At the mall**

Emily had Anna and Jolie on each side of her and zillions bags from Christmas shopping at the mall.

"_Mama me fell so badly to eat chicka nuggas, fench fies and little burga wight now. How about happy meal so me can get toy too_?" (Mommy, I feel do badly to eat chicken nuggets, French fries and a little hamburger, right now. How about a Happy meal, so we can get a toy, too?")

"Mommy we should call Daddy and we could order a Big Mac combo for him, Daddy loves Big Macs."

"_Yay, gweat ideas nana, yes Dada love Big Macs. They so big like him and big enough foe him_." (Yay, great ideas, Nana. Yes, Dada loves Big Macs. They're so big like him and big enough for him.")

Emily was tired from carrying so many bags, taking care of the two girls all the time in a super crowded mall, and now they wanted McDonalds, and call Derek. 'Right, breathe, Emily.' She was thinking to herself.

"Girls, I am pretty sure the food court will be so crowded that we cannot even find a place to sit. What about we just go home and I'll prepare a special dinner for us?"

"Mommy, can we at least try? If we didn't find any available table then we can leave, please, please, mommy?"

Looking at Anna and everything that she has been through, the whole kidnapping thing, ending up with having to watch her biological father being killed right in front of her, and she was still so full of life and hope. Emily couldn't say 'no', "Okay, girls, let's check how crowded is this place."

Still from the escalator, they could see that a family was leaving. Jolie ran towards the table, "_Mama, this family is bout to weave now_." (Mama, this family is about to leave, now.")

Emily and Anna joined Jolie at the table.

"_Yayy, Mama, we have a gweat table just got awailable foe us how lucky foe us!_" (Yay, Mama, we have a great table that just got available for us, how lucky for us!")

"I'm going to call Daddy! Can I call Daddy, Mommy?" Her eyes were sparkling.

Totally against her wills, Emily handed the cell phone to Anna, hoping that Derek wouldn't come. But, he was alone doing nothing at home. Of course he would come.

"Well, I'll go get our order, then. I'll keep my eyes on you two and please don't leave here for nothing. Anna, you're older, please, you see how crowded this place is. Take care of your little sister."

"_Mama, don't foeget very impotant the toys with our kids meals. And don't foeget Big Mac combo foe Dada_." (Mama, don't forget the very important the toy with our kids meals. And don't forget Big Mac combo for Daddy.)

"Great." Emily grumbled that the girls could not hear.

Twenty minutes later, they were eating. The girls were keeping their eyes to the escalator waiting for their Daddy. They finally saw Derek coming. Both of them ran to meet him. He lifted Jolie to air making her laugh out loud, keeping her on his arms while hugging Anna and kissing her on the head. From the table, Emily smiled seeing her girls so very happy with their Daddy.

"Hi."

"Hi Derek, they insisted so much to call you. There was no way I could not agree."

"No problem at all, Emily. I was really missing my two princesses."

"_Dada, Mama got tis burga foe you. Hope you no mind me ate few fench fies of yours, Dada. Yours look better and bigger porton_." ("Daddy, Mama got this hamburger for you. I hope you don't mind that I ate a few French fries of yours, Dada. Yours look better and bigger portion.")

"Of course not, but let me check this big paunch here." He started to tickle her belly, making her laugh. "Wow, a really big paunch we have here…"

For those who watched from a distance, it seemed like the perfect family. But even though Derek and Emily were trying to disguise the tension, even the girls could feel it. But they managed to keep a good talk for the sake of the girls. They ate and talk really like a perfect family. Until…

"Daddy, you think you can come to see my final ballet presentation before the holidays?"

"I'll do my best to be there, sweetheart, but you know how my job can be unpredictable."

Anna showed disappointment. Derek noticed.

"Anna, Princess, please, don't make this sad face. You break my heart."

"It's because we miss you Daddy. We know how much you work and travel a lot, but when you were at home, we knew that we'd see you every week, and now, there was ten days, Daddy. For ten days we did not see you! I counted…"

Derek touched Anna's hand, "Look, Anna, I know that all this whole situation between your mother and I is affecting you and Jolie in a bad way, but we're going to fix things. I promise. When the divorce papers get ready…"

They all were having great time until Derek opens his mouth about the divorce papers. Well, he finished the sentence but no one was listening to him anymore after the word 'divorce'.

Emily opened her mouth in total astonishment, 'Son of a bitch is really threatening me with divorce.' She was only thinking, she couldn't say this out loud.

After holding her breathing for almost one minute, Anna started to cry, "It's all my fault, it's all my fault. All because Mommy went after me…"

Emily was pissed and nervous, "Anna, I keep telling you that none of this is your fault."

"Yes, it is. Jolie has nightmares with the divorce papers, that they're chasing her, covering her face that she cannot take it off her face every night."

For the nightmare to be complete, Jolie also started to cry now.

Emily was so pissed that her face was red. She got up. She took all the bags of things she had bought for Christmas presents. She took Jolie on her arms, "Are you happy now Derek? You can choke on your divorce papers as you made us all choked up with disgust."

One of the presents was a shoe that the girls had asked Emily to buy as Christmas gift for him. Emily threw the bag on him, "Have fun with your ego Derek, you will be the only one to enjoy your ego, you are the only one that can live with this pig headed stubborn egos of yours, no one can live with it except you, so you and your ego can go fuck yourselves. Have a good time."

She grabbed Anna by the arm and left, taking Jolie in the arms, her purse and all the bags.

Derek stared there, clueless as always.

**========== / ==========**

**END OF FLASHBACK**

**At the Hospital**

"Emily, from now on we will talk out our problems. I know I tend to keep things all bottled up inside."

"Here are some pictures drawings by both Anna and Jolie that they both want me to give you. It's drawing of hearts love they have for you and drawings of you and them together and messages of how much they love you on their drawings."

Derek was moved seeing the beautiful drawings and touching messages on the drawings by Anna and Jolie.

"I better go now Derek. Jolie must be crying for me already."

"I wish you could stay, but yes she needs you most. Thank you for coming."

She gave him that 'don't treat me like I'm a stranger' look.

"Bye, Derek."

**========== / ==========**

**At home**

"Well, Dada is going to be okay, but he needs lots of rest there and we did not have much time to talk about this or anything else. He just told me to say hello to you two and that he loves you two very much like always and he also told me to tell how much he loves both your drawing and the loving messages you wrote there for him. He said to tell you both that these drawings and messages from both of you made him feel so much better and so much loved by the both of you and he loves you both so much too and he told me to give you kisses and hugs to you for him."

Emily then kissed and hugged both Jolie and Anna, "These are from Daddy."

"Did you kissy dada too, Mama?"

Emily didn't know what to say here, "Just a quick one, Jolie, because he needs to rest now."

"I wanted to stay longer with Dada, but he kept on saying I should go as he knows you, young lady, (pointing at Jolie) would be missing me too much and maybe crying…."

"Mama, do not go anywhere without me, even if you have to go bathroom and I'm asleep carry me with you or wake me up, please."

"I'm not going to leave you anymore, sweetie, I promise."

"Mommy, Daddy is going to come home from the hospital. You two worked this out, right? Most of my friends at school, their parents got divorced and their moms found another boyfriend and their dads another girlfriend. I don't want this to happen to us Mommy."

"Anna, we aren't sure what is going to happen, but your Daddy and I will always try to do what is best for you both and not hurt you both. As for having boyfriends, on my part, I don't see this happening as I'd only love your daddy and I don't see me with anyone else as for your Father. I cannot speak for him but I know he'll keep both your feelings in mind in this area."

"Yuck, yuck, yuck, I don't see Dada with anyone else. I'll vomit if this happens."

"I know sweetie. I wished things were easier, but sometimes adults' situations like your Dada and me it's hard to work out. It might take more time or it might not happen but just know that both of us love you two no matter what, that will never change."

**========== / ==========**

**Christmas Morning**

Emily was preparing breakfast while Anna and Jolie were opening the presents. Ambassador alone had left over fifty present boxes for them.

"MOMMY, MOMMY! LOOK! The ballerina toy I wanted so much! Grandma Ambass gave me!"

"That's so great, hon, so nice of your grandma." Emily was trying to show excitement, while she was going to open the door.

It was Derek. They'd spend the Christmas day together. After having breakfast together, the girls were still opening the presents while Emily and Derek were sitting on the sofa, watching them.

But after about 2 hours it was clear what would be the most favorite toy: ballerina toy, which had an annoying song which they were playing nonstop.

"Daddy, this is very important we play this as much as possible because Jojo and I practice our ballerina moves to this song while joining this ballerina toy dancing. We follow this toy and its move it is good learning tool for us."

"_Yeah, Dada, Mama, very impotant we play tis zillion times a day so we can pefect our ballewina moves like tis ballewina toy_."

Emily and Derek were going nuts with the song of the annoying toy. But Derek could take a little advantage of it.

"Emily, I know that it will be hard to listen to this toy music zillion times a day but I would love to come back and help burden this pain for you by listening with you 24 hours a day with you 7 days a week with you so can I come back? How does that sound?"

**========== / ==========**

**Thanks for reading and please, please, leave a comment. Thanks.**


	45. Chapter 45

**I own nothing**

**========== / ===========**

"Derek, let's just make this the best Christmas ever for our two little girls. They had a tough year and we need to end this year with pure joy and happiness only for them now. We can talk about the future after the New Year and really try to work on our issues, but for now we need to enjoy the presence of all of us being here, our family, and worry about the future only after the holidays."

**========== / ==========**

**Few weeks later**

"Mommy, I loved my birthday party, but you promised we'd go to Disney. So, when are we going?"

"Soon, Anna, very soon, but first I want you to meet someone."

"Who?"

Emily took both of her hands and looked at her in the eyes, "Remember you have a brother?"

Anna said nothing.

"I told you about him when we were at Russia."

"I think yes you did." Anna was not sure.

"I want you to meet him. But only if you want to."

"Where's he now?"

"Well, he is at his home. He has a home. He hasn't heard about me since he was four. I'm not even sure how much he remembers about me as well. He doesn't even know about you and that he has a biological sister."

Anna said nothing.

"I wanted to talk to you first, before looking for him. I wanted to make sure if you want this."

"Mommy, this is a very awkward feeling for me right now. I don't know what to feel. I do want to meet my biological brother but… what if he doesn't like me? This is very scary position Mommy, my stomach is in knots thinking about all this now."

"Anna, I know Declan since when he was just a little boy and I know that he is good boy, and now he must be a very polite young boy, very sweet and loving. I'm sure he'll love you for sure. In the beginning, it will feel strange and awkward but that will be understandable since you two are strangers, even though brother and sister by blood. It'll take time before you two feel comfortable with each other, but trust me, he'll love you and you'll love him too, you can count on this, Anna, one step at time. Just relax and do not worry about all this much for now."

Anna bit her lips just like her mother, thinking.

"So, can I call him?"

"Are you going to stay with me?"

"Of course I will, Anna, all the time. I'm going to pick him up and bring him here. We're going to be together all the time."

"Okay, then."

**========== / ==========**

**Few weeks later – Reston - Virginia**

It was a Saturday. Emily had asked Derek to go out with the girls and she took this time to go to talk to Declan.

She parked her car in front of the house of her friend Tom Koehler, who was raising Declan on his own.

She turned off the car and looked at the house, thinking for awhile. Yeah, it would be a difficult task to tell Declan all the truth.

Of course that she had called her friend to prepare Declan for her visit. She took a deep breath and got out of the car.

She was in the living room and after a brief talk to her friend he went to call Declan in his bedroom.

Declan was a handsome thirteen years old boy now.

"Well, I'll let you two talk, I'll be right there at the office."

The boy looked at Emily suspiciously. She stood there for a few moments looking at the boy that had almost been her son. This brought feelings for her. Well, she was the complete adult there, so she started to talk.

"Declan, hi. I… I…"

She was momentarily running out of words.

"I remember you." He dropped.

Emily froze for a moment, not knowing exactly what kind of memory he was talking about.

"Your name is Laurie."

Frowning as if some kind of sense of guilt was getting into her mind, squeezing her own sweaty hands in nervousness, "It was Lauren, but…"

She bit her lips, "Actually it is Emily. There's a lot that I need to tell you, Declan."

This sudden change of names got him really curious. Emily approached him, "Look, I'm not sure of how much you remember about me and about what happened in the past. Lots of things happened, unfortunately bad things…"

She was getting more confused in her words and Declan more curious.

"Declan, I can see how happy you are now, how you have a wonderful life that I always dreamed for you, so I'm not sure about how much of the past we should dig up right now. The thing is that there aren't only bad things, but good things too from the past and that I want you to know about."

The boy was staring at her with his penetrating blue eyes. At this moment, they sat on the same sofa.

"What do you remember about me and the time we lived together?"

"I have only vague memories, but I do remember playing with you and with my father."

"So you remember about your father."

"Yes, I do, a lot, I miss him every day."

Emily felt guilty. She had saved his life, yes, but in Declan's mind, she was the person that took him away from his Dad and his home.

"What do you know about him now?"

Declan looked down, "I know that my real father is in prison, that I don't have his family name to protect my identity and I'm not supposed to talk to anybody about this ever again and I'll probably never see him again. I was told that he wasn't a good person."

"I'm so sorry, Declan."

"I try not to think too much about him and about my past. Sometimes it seems that I was another person with another life."

"Declan, I'm here because there's someone that I want you to know about and meet if you want to."

Declan looked at her.

"When we were together, your father and I really had something special that happened between us. First, I want you to know that I really loved him and you. It was only for a short period of time but it was so intense for me. Your father was dealing with illegal business and he wasn't willing to quit, not even for me, so I couldn't continue with him and also I had to take you out of that kind of life, anyways, when we were together still, I got pregnant."

They shared a tender look.

"You have a sister, and she so look like your Daddy, physically. She has these beautiful blue eyes just like you, Declan. So, if you want, I wish you could meet her. I already told her about you. She is worried that you might not like her but I know this is not possible because you always were a good boy and I'm sure you still are that sweet boy that I met in the past. I know that it'll be awkward and strange at first since you don't know each other."

"Wow, I have a sister." He was happy.

"Yes, you do." She smiled.

"People say that blood isn't important to make a family, I kind of agree because I have Louise as my real mother even though I know she isn't, and Tom as my father, but I always felt like I was someone totally completely alone in the world, with no references and now I have someone. I have a sister."

"So, if you agree, Declan, I'd like to take you with me to spend the weekend with the girls. I also have another 3 years old daughter from my… from another relationship I had. Her name is Jolie."

"This is all so surprising for me, Emily, but yes, I'd love to meet them."

She smiled, "Great!"

"Emily, what happened to my father?"

She wasn't expecting this now.

The brief happiness was all gone now, "Unfortunately he is no longer with us…I'm so sorry but there isn't an easy way to say this."

Declan knew exactly what she meant but he was very flustered, "What do you mean 'he is no longer with us?"

"He is dead, Declan. It's a long story. I'm going to tell you, not now, but I will. I promise."

"The story won't bring him back, right? I was so waiting to be eighteen so I could visit him in prison."

"I am so sorry, Declan. I so wish things were different Declan, this is the last thing I wanted to happen. I loved your father very much. My heart is really broken having to tell you this horrible news. I wish that I could go back in time and change the outcome so you could be spared of all this pain. You don't deserve this."

"I'm not sure if I want to hear about how this happened. But when was it?"

"…A few months ago."

The boy was really sad, much more than Emily thought he would be. He was holding back tears. Emily approached him for a hug, "Something or someone great, beautiful resulted from the love with your father, it created a wonderful beautiful baby girl that's your sister, Anna. She's so anxious to meet her handsome big brother."

**========== / ==========**

**Meanwhile – Quantico **

Derek had taken the girls to the same library where he used to take them, since it was cold and snowy to go to outside parks.

"Dada, where did Mama go? She would not 'weally' (really) tell me where she was going and 'me' wanted to go 'wit' her but she said no."

"Sweetness, your mama have to do something very important. She's bringing a very special person for us to all meet."

"Who Dada?"

"A person related ONLY TO ME, Jojo!"

"Me' no 'undastan' (understand)."

"You're too young to understand as you are just a baby."

"Me' no baby, 'me' can 'undastan' (understand) a lot coz me smart 'gil."

"This is too complex to understand. This is only for big minds. Your mind is small. Look at the size of your head."

Poor little girl Jolie was so confused now.

"Anna, that's not nice and not true, but you are right. Jolie, this is a little hard to explain and very confusing for someone at your age to understand, we'll explain it much later to you on another time."

"Daddy, do you think he will like me?"

"Of course, Anna, he will not only like you but love you. How could he not? But it will take time as you two are strangers still even though you are sister and brother, just do not worry too much about this, just let this happen slowly and progressively."

"It feels weird having a big brother, Daddy."

"Are we having a big 'bowther' (brother) Dada?"

"NO, JOJO I AM, not you."

"No fair, 'me' your 'sista' (sister), so that means 'me' should have big 'bowther' (brother), too."

Even though things between Derek and Emily were far from being resolved, he never quit using his wedding ring. But this was never enough to keep all the saucy girls away.

He was about to pay for the books so he put Jolie sitting on the counter for a minute to take his wallet from the pocket.

"I always see you here with your children only. I can assume you must be available for a coffee or wine someday."

Derek smiled giving a millisecond of hope to the girl, but, "I can be available but not my heart, which is taken forever by these two beautiful children's mother."

Along with the change, the woman gave her business card to him, "Just in case you change your mind, maybe we can have a coffee together or something like that, or dessert as I prefer dessert so we can have sweet time together."

"I'm sorry but you can keep it. I don't want my wife to find it. Not that it would bother her, but just in case."

**========== / ==========**

**At home**

"Dada, where's Mama, she should be here by now."

"Jolie, Mama will be here any minute, the reason she isn't back yet it's about a hour drive without traffic but there could be heavy traffic now, sweetness."

"I'm nervous, Daddy. I think I'll hide in my room. Can you call me when they're here?"

"No need to hide Anna, princess, and it's understandable to be nervous. Just relax and everything will be okay."

"Call Mama, Dada, 'pease' (please)?"

"Not a good idea to call Mama now, she is driving, and she has to focus on the traffic."

At this moment, Emily made a call to let them know that they were almost there and also to ask Derek to start preparing something for lunch. Anna was getting impatient.

"Anna, princess, all will be okay, just be yourself and you and him will get along fine, just do not rush things as this is a long process for you and him."

"Daddy, they should be here by now! 20 minutes gone already as Mommy said about 20 minutes."

"Anna, your mommy was just using this time as estimation, this will not be exact, relax, anytime she will be here with him."

"Dada, Mama's taking too long to come, next time she needs to go by 'pane'

(plane)."

"Oh God, I'll start to think that you two don't like me or staying with me. Give your Mom a break. You two definitely got this from your mother, those impatient Prentiss genes. I also know your Grandma Ambassador is one of the most impatient women on this planet, that your mother got these genes from her, too."

"You're 'wight' (right) Dada, Grandma Ambass always too impatient that she has to fire 'evaone' (everyone)."

Derek was in the kitchen preparing lunch and the girls were near him when they heard someone opening the door. Jolie ran to her mother and Anna ran to her bedroom.

Declan and Emily could see it. Emily caressed him on the face, "It isn't you, sweetheart. She's just too nervous. I'm going to talk to her."

Jolie was a little shy so she hid behind Emily's legs, grabbing them.

"C'mon sweetie, this is Declan. Say hi to Declan."

"So, you must be Jolie, right? Your Mommy told me only good things about you, that you're very smart and pretty and talkative. And I can see that she was right. Are you going to talk to me now?"

Jolie smiled but said nothing in the beginning. Typical from children when they meet someone new.

"Declan, this is Derek, my… (She thought for a little and she couldn't find a proper word to define their relationship status right now, so she used the same.)…husband."

Declan and Derek shared a few words.

"Well, I'm going to call Anna. Jolie, please, let go my legs, I cannot walk like this. I need to go get your sister out here now."

Emily left but not before making a signal to Derek for him to make Declan feel comfortable and talk to him, which Derek quickly got the message.

"Declan, tell me something about yourself, what are your interests…"

"Right now, at school I'm really interested in sports. I play on all the different sports at school, hockey, basketball, football, soccer and baseball."

"That's wonderful. I love all those sports too. Maybe, someday, I can take you to a professional ball game as my two girls aren't really interested in that. They only want me to play ballerina dance with them. Imagine myself and my muscles in a ballerina costume."

Derek want to make Declan to feel at home and comfortable and he did because Declan laugh out loud hearing this last sentence, "That's really hard to imagine."

**Upstairs**

Emily knocked on the door and opened it, "Anna, sweetie, that was not nice of you… You brother could see you running away."

"But Mommy, I told you that I wanted to meet him but now I am not sure. I don't know if I am prepared. Just say to him to come another day. Not today, please."

Emily sat on the bed and took Anna's hand. "I promise everything will be okay, Anna. Declan is a sweet boy, I told you. He went through a lot and he would love to meet you. I had to say to him that his Daddy, which is your biological father, is dead now. He didn't know this and he said me that it was so good to hear that he has someone in this world that is his family that is you. Please Anna, don't take this from him. He's dying to meet you."

"Hug me first?"

"Sure, baby."

Emily gave her a big and tight hug, trying to pass all the confidence she would need.

She kissed Anna's forehead, "I'm going to be with you all the time."

Anna smiled.

When the three women were back downstairs, Derek and Declan were talking. Derek went back to the kitchen to deal with lunch.

As she was approaching Declan, Anna stopped walking to keep a certain distance. Behind Anna, Emily put her both hands on Anna's shoulders and said, "Declan, this is Anna, your sister."

They looked at each other for a little while. The empathy was instant and mutual. Anna smiled shyly while Declan approached her and bent down, "I'm very happy to meet you, Anna."

"Me too."

"Can I give you a hug?"

Anna looked at her mother that was there behind her all the time. Emily smiled and let go of her shoulders as if encouraging her to hug her brother.

The only two descendants of Ian Doyle were hugging each other now. This brought shy tears and bitter memories to Emily. Ian would be so happy seeing this. Why he could not just have chosen her and the life they could have had together? She would never have this answer. She would never understand. As much as she was an expert in human mind, she would never be able to understand Ian's mind and how he could be so lovable and devilish in only one person.

After this touching scene, the kids were in the living room, talking, getting to know each other better while Emily and Derek were in the kitchen finishing preparing lunch and setting the table.

Declan spent the whole weekend there, the first of thousands that would come ahead. He would be part of their life. They would be part of his life.

**========== / ==========**

**Few weeks later**

Finally, Emily was fulfilling the promise she had made to the girls. They were at the airport, Emily, Jolie and Anna were waiting for the time of their flight towards to Disney. Jolie and Anna were super happy and excited about this trip, especially Jolie who could not help but be bouncing up and down nonstop.

"Jolie, please, sweetie, you have to stay near Mama and Anna, okay?"

Jolie kept shouting, "Yay, yay, me going to see Minnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!'

"Jojo, well, I am more excited to see all the princesses and ballerinas there and the castles."

Emily had just finished the check in. they now would have to wait about a hour or so to embark.

The girls looked so happy and they really were that Emily could almost ignore the bitter feeling of the unresolved things between her and the person she loved, Derek. Things yes were getting better but BAU cases were keeping him so busy and away from his family that she couldn't even tell in what page they were now on. One thing she knew that had remained the same, their feelings, their love for each other.

"Well, girls, now, we're going to have to wait a bit for our flight. Let's just sit here and please stay near Mommy, okay."

Emily occupied one of more than a thousand chairs in the airport waiting room. She took out a magazine to read, always keeping both eyes on the girls that were right there next to her, playing with their dolls. Yes, life now was almost perfect after all.

"Mommy, too bad we couldn't talk to Daddy to say bye…"

"Yes, Anna, I'm so sorry, but he was busy. He couldn't talk the moment we called."

"Dada always busy, Mama, not fair. Uncle Hotch is bad, bad."

Emily caressed Jolie's face, "No, sweetie, it's the job. Your father is very good at it. But we can have fun together just us three right? Seeing Minnie and all the others cool characters, right?" Emily wanted to change the focus of the talk here.

**Twenty minutes later**

Emily was smiling at her two daughters sitting on the floor next to her, playing with their dolls, pretending the dolls were talking, an adorable scene that she couldn't miss. When she turned her face over the magazine again, she could see a very familiar face approaching them. Her heart did not started pounding fast, it remained quiet and calm, as well as certain of his love for her. But she was happily surprised. She smiled. As he approached a little more, the girls could see him. They quickly got up to hug their Daddy.

"Daddy! Did you come to say good bye to us?"

Hugging the girls, one on each side of him, looking straight to Emily that was still sitting with the magazine in her hands, he answered, "Well, I was wondering if the plane had one more room for one more passenger."

Jolie and Anna hearing this wow, they started to jump up and down with total excitement, yelling so loud in happiness, while Emily was digesting the news so to speak.

But, the smart man Derek knew that it would take much more than that to break the tough cookie Emily Prentiss.

"I could not afford to be away from my most precious and important women in my life to be away from me for not even a second much less a week or two. My heart would ache, break and not able to function properly to do anything. I just wish and hope you three who are my lifeline and the people who mean to me more than my own life will allow me to accompany you on this trip."

The trio was anxiously looking at Emily, waiting for her answer. '_God, what I have to do to make this tough cookie rise her butt of that chair and kiss me_.' Derek was thinking.

"Emily, I love you so much, I need you so much that I was a fool to ever think I could be happy without you. My stupid stubborn pride got in the way, and I just hope I have not lost you forever that you able to allow me to show you how sorry I am and I hope that you will give another chance for us."

She finally dropped the magazine and jumped into his arms for a big passionate kiss. Both Jolie and Anna were so happy. They did 'high five' to each other.

"**A TRUE LOVE STORY NEVER ENDS"**

**Well, guys, this is the last chapter of this story. It'll continue with this beautiful family for sure. I'll just stop writing it, maybe in the future a sequel. A very good friend of mine said the words below:**

"**You created a story that is so complicated, unique and creative, showing that blood is not always meaning family, this is not easy story to do as so much complex, twist and angles but you always the very best at doing exciting action drama, with heartbreak, love and romance, variety of different things and you create interesting relationships, things so very complex and hard to describe but you always do so well in describing everything. It is like watching a huge movie screen, so thank you very much for creating this."**

**I wanted to thank this friend who helped me a lot in this journey and with his wonderful comments all the time. I also wanted to thank Lena which also gave her contribution being a beta for some chapters. Too bad our schedules didn't work out well for us.**

**I also want to thank all the other commenters too and also for all the people who always read without saying a word. I really wish people could have said something, but thanks anyways for reading. And last but not least, Bri, I love you, this says everything.**

**Also, I'm very happy that I got nominated "Profilers Choice Awards 2014", with this story, categories include: Best Emily/Morgan, soon it will be available for voting so please if you want to help me, please vote, thank you!**


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